Is there a difference between eating booty and tossing a salad? And what is it called when you eat chicken nuggets with honey mustard off of a girl's booty? I need to know...for reasons.
Well, I sent in a confession last year regarding how I had a fiance but also a girlfriend, both long term. Your response basically boiled down to how I can't keep it hidden forever. Turns out you were right..
I spent the last year continuing on as I had. Things were rough here and there, but I kept both relationships going. It ended with the girlfriend for a few months, but all that served to do was make me realize that I truly did miss her and care about her more than I originally thought. So we rekindled it and things between us actually escalated some. It made me start to question things with my fiance even, but I didn't have any intentions of leaving her or anything like that. Just made it all seem a little less perfect.
Fast forward to about three and a half weeks ago..my fiance found out. I panicked and tried so hard to lie, but it was quickly falling apart. Too many things I couldn't explain away, she was going through call logs and it was just getting bad fast. Things probably would be over now..if my girlfriend hadn't stepped in. See she was going through revelations of her own, finding out my name wasn't what I said, various details of my life were a lie like having a fiance for one. For some reason though after an initial wave of anger and sending more proof to my fiance..she backed down. My girlfriend got in touch with me and agreed to tell my fiance lies so that she'd calm down some. I was able to hide just how bad my cheating was and barely salvage our relationship...for now. My fiance doesn't know I had sex with the other girl, nor does she know the relationship was so many years long, she thinks it was just one. She did see me telling the other girl that I loved her though.
This brings me to today. Me and my fiance are in counseling. We have good days then we have awful days. She tells me she's ready to move on and wants to be with me, then the next night it's a screaming match about how she just cannot believe my story, that there must be more to it. I don't know what to even say though, because she's not wrong.. In fact, me and the girlfriend are still talking in secret. She now knows everything and instead of hating me she's just doubled her efforts to try and be with me. Now she drives out to see me instead of the other way around. We still meet and talk a lot.
I'm basically just stuck, not sure what to do. Things are so bad with my fiance right now and it's entirely my fault. I don't want them to be this way, but because they are it makes my time with my girlfriend seem that much more appealing. It makes leaving seem like an actual option which I had never considered before.
I said it then, I'll say it now. I'm an awful fucking person. I know that. I do care for them both. I want them both to be happy. I just don't know how to do that. I'm a fucked up person in a fucked up situation and it's all my fault. No matter what happens in the future I'll have hurt one or more people I care deeply for.
TLDR; I still have a girlfriend and a fiance even though they both found out I was lying. I'm still a horrible person.
This is a follow-up to a confession from last year. Two-timing doesn't always work out:
Oh man, it is just gonna get worse for you. You're gonna spiral.
You need to end it with your fiance, like right now. What are you even DOING?
I'm gonna be home in thirtyish minutes.
Gonna unleash a bloody torrent.
Inb4 a confession about someone with a weird blood fetish.I'm gonna be home in thirtyish minutes.
Gonna unleash a bloody torrent.
I'll be playing some games with my friends but I will absolutely have this thread open anyway.I'm gonna be home in thirtyish minutes.
Gonna unleash a bloody torrent.
I'm gonna be home in thirtyish minutes.
Gonna unleash a bloody torrent.
I'm gonna be home in thirtyish minutes.
Gonna unleash a bloody torrent.
Inb4 a confession about someone with a weird blood fetish.
I'm gonna be home in thirtyish minutes.
Gonna unleash a bloody torrent.
Death Dreamer again (awesome name, btw, CesspoolofHatred, I've to use it more often) with my last confession.
First, I will add to my previous confession that I kinda remembered what we were playing. My friend and I were supposed to be vampires and had those girls under our control and they had to "please us" or some shit like that. It was still innocent, though.
Also, I found one of the girls on facebook and damn, puberty hit her like a truck.
Well, getting to the point, this happened around 2 or 3 years ago.
I was going to my girlfriend's house. We live in a fairly small city and pretty close to each other. It was still daylight and one of the biggest streets in the city. Suddenly, a guy that looked Pakistani asked me if there was some kebab place around there (I know, it sounds very racist, but that was what actually happened). I knew some of them but neither was close, so I said no. Then, he asks if he can talk to me in english because he was having a hard time understanding and speaking my language (that was odd, because there aren't many tourist or people who doesn't speak our language around here). He wasn't very fluent either, but it was a bit better. After answering him, he started speaking with me, about how good did I speak english (I don't agree) and starts chatting with me. I thought he just wanted to be nice, so I played along.
After a couple of minutes he suddenly asked me if I was gay, wich I deny. And then he asked me to give him a blowjob in a backstreet (he didn't even know the word for that). I was instantly shocked, told him I wasn't interested, that I wasn't gay and I didn't want to do anything with him. He insisted several times, and I told him to leave me alone. I even told him several times that I wasn't gay, wich he replied by saying that he had a female roommate whom I could have sex with (seriously, WTF?). I just ignored him even though he went on with the petitions, even asking for anal, and continued to go forward.
After a while he gave up, but after leaving he touched my butt. I instantly turned around and hit him in the chest with the back of my fist (it was the fastest move I could do at the moment) and he left through another street.
I arrived at my girlfriend's house very nervous. I was trembling. The thoughts were rushing through my mind, what if he had tried to force me? Maybe I'm a wuss or something, but I really thought he would rape me and I was very scared, I tried not to show my fear to him, though.
She was playing videogames with her brother. I told them what happened and both started laughing. I was very pissed and told her that if it had been her and not me, she would be crying and feeling very helpless. She inmediately stopped laughing. I guess she noticed how upset I was and what I went through, and tried to comfort me. I'm glad she understood despite her initial reaction.
What happened haunted me a couple of months. Luckily, it was a very minor thing, but it could have been way worse. I was even told that it could have been a bet that man lost, wich could match because of the roommate thing. I don't really know, I'm just happy I wasn't forced.
Sorr for the big wall of text, maybe I made a mountain out of a molehill, I don't know.
I received word that this story was copied from another GAFer's story. Not cool, brah.
I have this weird fetish where sex is completely not taboo, in the same way that shaking hands or grabbing a bite to eat with someone is not taboo. I try to find fetish porn targeting this, but there's not much. One of the best one is where this asian girl is in a restaurant hanging out with some older dude chatting it up while some random guy wearing a mask comes up out of nowhere and starts undressing her and ultimately getting busy with her while she seems oblivious to the fact that anything is even happening to her.
This permeates into my daily life to the point that it's kind of bothersome. I mean I want to fuck everyone. What do I mean by everyone?
*he posted a garyoldmanEVERYONE.gif here*
Well ok, adults. (Sorry, I always wanted to use that GIF). But I mean why not, if you can say hi to someone why not fuck? Just, like, right there. When I go to the grocery store, every single person I see of the opposite sex I'm like "yep, yep, yep, yep". It doesn't even have to be a big deal, we just handle our shit (right there, of course) and go about the rest of our day.
What's weird is that I don't have an unusually high sex drive. Once a week is fine, hell even twice a month is fine. I don't know, this is coming from somewhere else.
I haven't told my wife the extent, but I know she thinks I'm kinky as hell. Like the other day we're in the bedroom and I start going at it while the door is wide open and her mom is literally right outside maybe 5 feet away (around a corner, and her mom would not just walk in, but still). I sometimes imagine that I'm just out in the living room having sex with my wife (or whatever guest might be over) while everyone else is just walking around doing whatever around the house without even paying attention to what's going on. Or maybe they do comment on it but just in a nonchalant way like it's no big deal.
Of course it's not just me, the whole world is actually like this, male and female, and this is just the norm.
So tell me GAF, how fucked up is this?
So I've been married for a couple of years now and have an adorable son, work is decent and life at home is pretty damn good. On the surface, I have a fairly enviable life.
That being said, whilst I love my wife, I also have a seemingly insatiable craving for titties... So you can see where this is going.
My lust for those wobbly pieces of fat has over the last year driven me to do the previously unthinkable and cheat on my wife, soliciting large breasted sex workers on a fairly regular basis to sedate my cravings.
I'm not exactly proud of it (in truth I hate myself for it pretty much every day) however, what started as one regrettable venture has escalated to something that I'm not sure what to do in order for it to stop.
I often will cheat on my way from work, sometimes even look on sites and make 'cheating decisions' whilst sitting on the fucking toilet.
After reading the stories of similar cases here I'm considering going to see a quack but truth be told, I know that all he will probably say is "stop looking for it" but its easier said than done... The titty craving is hard to resist -____-
When I first started this shit I went cold turkey for months only to be drawn back into the cycle for no real reason at all. Sometimes I won't go looking for weeks, or a whole month but as of late its been every god damn week without fail.
At first I used to keep a tally of them all, but now its just faces, large breasts and occasionally screen names that I remember, the actual count (I believe I haven't been with more than 50 SW)
For what it's worth, I always use protection and have waned off of anal too but that isnt important - What is important is that I'm a Cunt, a provider (wife is stay at home mom with young son) and also conflicted as fuck as to what I should do to get out of this loop.
All I got was that someone never paid attention in SexEd. All those words which boil down to "I'm always horny"Is being horny a fetish now?
I don't even know what the hell you're talking about. Are you trying to tell me you're kind of bisexual with some mild voyeuristic tendencies?
It's amazing how many people try to justify their cheating and being a total piece of shit. "Look you don't understand, I just NEED to cheat on my wife with hookers because of boobs"Look, everyone loves big titties. But come on.
You are right. You're a cunt. Get some help or let your wife go be with someone better than you.
I confess that i didn't know anything about Indivisible until Indivisible hater confession , and thanks to him he introduced me to a great looking game from a genre i really love, glad for him because the campaign was going to end in a few days and without him maybe i wouldn't even know about it, backed it just in time, i am sure he spread the word even more and made the game noticeable for even more people like me and now he will be a factor in this game funding successfully
get rekt
I had contact with the mother again, she kept telling me about how whenever she drinks, she drinks too much. I kinda got the feeling she wants me to get her drunk, but I'm not excited about the prospect of nailing a drunk chick. It's just not kosher, you know? Anywhoozle, since this is the last day, I guess I have to just leave it like this. Good luck NTGYK, and thanks for curating another year of confessions.
So I bought a bunch of stuff off of Amazon recently to do some experimenting. Some clothing, makeup, and a wig. After watching YouTube videos to figure out how to apply the makeup, I tried it out. This didn't go as well as I planned, but after looking in the mirror, I realized I would be pretty as a girl. This is causing some problems in my head and I know this confession seems anti-climactic but I just wanted to tell someone this.
To the Confessor who was mugged,
You absolutely did the right thing when you and your friend were mugged. I've been mugged twice, and both times I did what the mugger (technically muggers the first time) asked. Second time the mugger threatened to kill me. I didn't see a weapon, but I wasn't about to risk calling a bluff.
Possessions can easily be replaced, your life cannot. So don't feel bad about not being able to do much, because you did the smartest thing possible in a terrible situation. Just be thankful that you and your friend got out of it relatively unharmed.
I'm posting a deluge now, and saving some special ones for tomorrow.
Just be honest, you'll never be done with thisI'm posting a deluge now, and saving some special ones for tomorrow.
I ask that you guys read all that I post now. I don't want anything to get lost in the madness.
Look, everyone loves big titties. But come on.
You are right. You're a cunt. Get some help or let your wife go be with someone better than you.
I'm posting a deluge now, and saving some special ones for tomorrow.
I ask that you guys read all that I post now. I don't want anything to get lost in the madness.
I'm struggling with severe depression. I'm trapped in a cycle of self-loathing where at this point anything can become a shortcut to day-ruining sadness and anger - once I am reminded of my shortcomings, I will loathe myself, and then I will begin to loathe myself for loathing myself, and well, there we go. I can barely take care of myself, let alone seek gainful employment. I can only survive via a government handout and the generosity of my parents. I know that I have the power to break the cycle and do something with my life, but the fact that I don't make the choice to do so just makes me detest myself that much more. I feel like I'm a thoroughly defective, broken person with an improperly functioning brain. At this point, I only continue to live for the moments where I bring anything good to other peoples' lives - I don't live for my own happiness anymore, because I don't see the potential for me to have any true happiness.
While it's FAR from the only reason why I feel so broken, one particularly major bit is that I'm transgender. I've known for a long time, and I'm more certain than ever now. However, the treatment I need for THAT is going to cost so much money that I'm going to need financial independence first. Not only that, but coming out terrifies me beyond belief due to my aforementioned reliance of other people's opinions of me.
But compounding it is my parents. I tried to come out of the closet several years ago, but I didn't know how to explain it well enough and they didn't understand, and I pretended like it was just a phase and tried to bury it. They're pretty progressive but they've said some eyebrow-raising things in the past and I think what's maybe most troubling is that they really believed that it was just a phase.
There's also been a rise of accusations of people who use non-binary gender identities to "be a special snowflake" or "score oppression points", and while I'm not so cruel to say those things, I feel like I've seen it happen a little bit. Maybe I'm just envious because their gender identity doesn't require a whole-life upheaval like mine does. Either way though, it makes me absolutely terrified that I'll lose the love and support of my parents; it makes me feel like by screwing up as a teenager that I've ruined my chances to truly come out now. And once again, it means that I absolutely would have to have solved enough of my problems to be fully financially independent before I can even think of tackling this.
So, I just have this hierarchy of problems, each one looming over the next. And I'm so far away from even scraping the surface of the first one, that the fact that there's more obstacles in my path later (another one is that only after all the rest of this shit is tackled will I be.finally be able to pursue and maybe have a healthy relationship) just fills me with utter despair. I want to give up. It'd be so much easier to just give up.
I'm a would-be game developer and I'm desperately trying to cling to my projects as an auxiliary reason to keep going on, but I know that that's going to fall apart at the first criticism. I've always been shit at taking criticism, another reason that I fucking hate myself. I'm also bad at even finishing things, so I feel like acting like I'd even get to the point where I could receive criticism is a pretty arrogant thing to say. That was a pretty weirdly stream-of-consciousness sentence but I'm leaving it in as an example of how easy it is for me to lapse into beating myself up - I'm so convinced of my own permanent inferiority that I treat any optimism for my future as arrogant. I'm so fucking full of myself and not at the same time. Simultaneously a giant and tiny ego. It's fucked up. I'm fucking broken. I'm fucking insane. I can't go on like this.
My cousin killed himself when he was 16 and so I experienced firsthand what that action does to friends and family. I disagree with and maybe even resent how many people care about me, but not hurting them like that has been the only thing keeping me hanging on. But... the experience of being me is a personal fucking hell. I'm starting to care less about my friends and family compared to the pain of staying alive, and that terrifies me.
I stopped getting mental health services several years ago due to a traumatic experience while institutionalized, but I've started again. But it's not helping. I only have one mental health clinic in my area that takes Medicaid, which is all the insurance I can get with my income level, and their medical staff doesn't seem very educated; my counselor is actually still in training. The medicine I've been prescribed hasn't had any good effects yet. I called the suicide hotline and even they eventually got tired of me and hung up. I don't know what to do. I'm about to break.
Every time you say that it encourages more people to email you.
YOU DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY AND PRETTY. I AM SERIOUS.
You feel good wearing a dress and girl makeup? Then fucking do it! Keep at it! Practice! You'll get better. There is nothing anti-climactic about this. You're still finding yourself? Well, keep going! No judgment here, pal. You do and experiment however you like to make yourself happy. As long as it doesn't harm you or anyone else, it's all good.
This is Spankfessor as GAF has named me. I'm here to answer some questions.
NotTheGuyYouKill Question: "You know, I had never thought about the idea that there are spanking communities. I mean, spanking in porn, sure! Spanking in the bedroom (consensually), of course!
But a community built around just spanking? My God, the world is a marvel.
Do you spank your SO? I mean, obviously other people are into it too."
Answer: As stated, there is a community for everything. GAF has a BDSM thread, but a lot of spanko's separate from the BDSM community because of their leather, bondage, slave/master thing(not judging the BDSM guys and gals, I'm just not into it myself). I'm a spanko that's more interested in a domestic setting of role play. There are famous parties that are held in places like New York in Vegas. Shadowlane does the Vegas party. It's a chance to meet the spanking video producers and participate in spanking activities. I do not spank my girlfriend as I'm too afraid of being rejected and possibly outed. I'm a bit paranoid about that.
TheFrza comments: "I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with this, confessor. As we have seen, there are MANY worse fetishes that we as humans are inclined towards. I say go for it, have fun and be safe."
Answer: Thanks for the support. Some days I feel okay about my fetish, other days I feel like a freak.
Jackben comments: "Spank is a pretty great word."
Answer: The best word! My most used word on the keyboard next to "the".
Admiral Woofington posts pictures from American Dad:
My comments: Oh, I'm well aware of that episode. Great episode. Someone that writes for American Dad and Family Guy is a spanko. I remember an episode of Family Guy where Chris is spanked by Cleveland's wife. He finds he was turned on by it and later asks Cleveland's wife to spank him again. I'm a walking encyclopedia of spanking in movies and tv shows. I would start a site, but it's been done already on multiple sites. In my spare time, if I see or hear about a spanking in a movie or tv show, I get a hold of the content and edit out the spanking scenes for my collection.
NotTheGuyYouKill is daddy af *some emojis*
I can't end it with my wife.
She would murder me.
Literally.
Even without knowing about everything that happened.
That was part of why I didn't leave originally.
No, there are no children.
Yes, we have tried counsellors.
Yes, I have tried therapists.
No, there is no love.
No, there has never been any love.
I never knew what love was.
I never knew what love was, until I met that girl.
Now I know what love is.
And I know that I have lost it.
It is better to have never loved at all than to have loved and lost.
I can't live with myself anymore.
It's all my own fault.
I should have just settled for a lifetime of mediocrity.
Instead, I spent 2 years happier than I have ever been.
And now it's all gone.
I will never have it again.
It wasn't even about the sex.
That didn't even happen that often given the situation.
It was about being with someone who actually cared about me.
It was about being with someone who actually loved me.
I'll never have that again.
I'll never be with her again.
No one else will ever be her.
And now everything is so much worse.
Now that I know how things could have been.
Now that I know what being loved felt like.
I want to vomit after having written all of this.
I try not to even think about it, because it just makes things worse.
I messed it all up.
It's completely my fault.
I deserve to be treated like I'm worthless now.
I'm a complete piece of shit.
That's how this saga on here should end.
There is no positive from this, only negative.
I'm a worthless, disgusting piece of shit.
Spanfessor replies:
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YOU'RE WELCOME
Killed a man in a bar fight. Actually, no, I didn't. I was at a bar in some shithole town getting drunk, and this biker dude comes up to me and starts talking mad shit. I'm drunk and stupid so I tell him lets take it outside. Guy gets up, and holy shit he's a mountain of a man and i'm cowering in the corner now. He has a knife unseathed, and he's going to kill me but, then he trips and stabs himself. guess god had my back or something. From everyones POV it looked as though i had stabbed him. this 5'2 skinny ass white boy gutted a big 6'4 250LB giant of a man, yeah. After that I started boasting to everyone how i fucking stabbed the guy. I talked mad shit about him knowing full well I'm alive onlybecause he fell on his own knife. People will find out and when they do I am so dead.
Americans Going Abroad. Always fun times. Not.
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That's just fucking weird, man. Especially the last night where you 'got what you were owed'. She owed you nothing. You don't even know what was happening!
You're an idiot.
You're an idiot.
Im only going to address with what I can relate with, so I'm going to start with the self loathing. The position that you're currently in, is not because you are weak or for any other reason you have against yourself. You're not a broken mess either. You're lost and confused, like a lot of us have been before. You are as human and normal as me, or as anyone else in the world. While you may see all of the downtime you have from being on handouts and such as a sign of weakness, I see it as the perfect opportunity to take time for yourself to find yourself and become stronger, and to learn to love yourself. You're even taking a good step with getting mental help again. I can only wish you the best of luck and hope it works out this time.This one is very long, but it is very clear this individual needs some help.
Wow. That is a terribly shitty situation.
Look... I don't wanna pat you on the back and say things will magically get better. They don't. You are gonna have to push and struggle everyday to make the world make sense for you. The day is gonna come where you're gonna have to be honest with your family. I truly hope they can support you.
I also hope you try to work on improving yourself. I'm glad you're trying mental health services again, please try to stick with it. Sometimes medication can take a while to take effect.
As for criticism, all artists know that they'll get critiqued and criticized. Criticism is not a bad thing. Failure is not a bad thing. It is through these things we become better at we do, become stronger people, smarter people. Embrace failure and criticism. You will learn from it, and come back and be better for it.
Im only going to address with what I can relate with, so I'm going to start with the self loathing. The position that you're currently in, is not because you are weak or for any other reason you have against yourself. You're not a broken mess either. You're lost and confused, like a lot of us have been before. You are as human and normal as me, or as anyone else in the world. While you may see all of the downtime you have from being on handouts and such as a sign of weakness, I see it as the perfect opportunity to take time for yourself to find yourself and become stronger, and to learn to love yourself. You're even taking a good step with getting mental help again. I can only wish you the best of luck and hope it works out this time.
One day in the near future, you'll be comfortable enough with yourself, and have learned to loved yourself enough to face your family, and hopefully they will shower you with continued love and support. What's important now though, is just you.
Regarding your game projects: never give up on that dream. Criticism is indeed terrifying, and sometimes having your work criticized can feel like someone is attacking you, but that's the thing. They aren't trying to hurt you, they just want to help you build something better, because they know you're capable of improving your work. That's I perceive criticism. It's merely a tool to chisel out the hard edges of our products. Be proud that you have even started and continue to start projects of your passion, that's the hardest step that most don't actually do! Hell, I've been beating myself up about not writing for well over a year now.
one last thing I would recommend is posting in the Mental Health thread we have here. There are so so so many folks there willing to help and talk to anyone and absolutely anything. They are all kind and supportive, and have all been through their own crucibles. You really should check it out.