What are some of the weirdest things you've done or had happen to you during sex?

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Exodust

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It's a slow work day here so I decided I might as well post some of my weird experiences in the pursuit of getting off, and to see what kind of interesting encounters y'all had. I'll start things off:

At the age of 17, I was dating this very depressed cutter. During the deed she asked if she cut herself a little if I would suck and drink some of her blood. Thought about it, didn't really have a problem with it, and did it.

I spent an entire year wearing an eye patch, so I ended up having sex in an eye patch a couple of times. That's not really all that weird, if at all. What is weird is one girl really liked the eyepatch, to a point where she creeped me out a bit about it. While another lifted it, got pissed that my eye was still there, but then noticed that I couldn't close it at all only to high tail it out of there. Talk about a fantastic end to a night.

I once wore a Luchador mask while going down on a girl. She called me "el hombre" during it. I'm pretty sure she didn't know much Spanish. Honestly, I don't know much either.

I've had an older woman ask me to pee on her after sex. I pissed on her while she was in a bath tub. She seemed to enjoy it.

I am able to say "I've once finger fucked a deaf girl who was giving me directions while I drove drunk" and not be lying. Not exactly something I'm proud of though.

Had some girl's kid walk in on us and the mom say to not mind him. She didn't tell me she had kids. Thought it was too weird so I just Jerry.gif out there.

I think that's all I got.
 
Well aint that some shit......

noKbWcv.gif
 
Bleeding/uteral pain after because of an IUD and an unmindful man. Had to take that out- wasn't worth the risk of having my uterus torn apart in trying to educate someone with selective hearing.
 
The cutting and pee is normal but I can say from my own experience drunk sex up a tree is not a good idea, you will fall and break your arm.
 
As I've said before and will continue to say... girl shouting "cum inside me daddy" is weird as fuck and an instant boner killer.

Like she's working through daddy issues or some shit while we're having sex. The fuck...
 
I met this girl through some IRC chat back in the day. Eventually, I went to visit her and had a weekend of wild fucking including all the weird shit she was into, like choking and slapping and nipple clamps, which (as it turns out) is not really my thing.

The sex was still pretty great though. Too bad we didn't get along at all outside of that.

Weirdest part was when she had me tie her up and put her in the closest and just leave her there while I played Final Fantasy X.
 
Patrick S. said:
I put it in the wrong hole and got yelled at.
Click to expand...

I wrong holed once, sex was over and she never called me again.

It wasn't all my fault though, she was in the doggy position and almost angrily demanding I fuck her hard and then it just happened during one of the thrusts...

The scream and the way her body jerked forward. I'll never forget it...
 
Miles Quaritch said:
I wrong holed once, sex was over and she never called me again.

It wasn't all my fault though, she was in the doggy position and almost angrily demanding I fuck her hard and then it just happened during one of the thrusts...

The scream and the way her body jerked forward. I'll never forget it...
Click to expand...

Heh, I was pardoned shortly after.
 
*boner

It's good to be open for new experiences. Fuck that sad mandatory saturday night missionary position boring bullshit. I'm happy for you OP.

I'll just stick with the routine...
 
The tent completely fell off, and it was a relatively big tent (the size of a typical 2 person hotel room), and it was in a popular camping area.

Thankfully, it all happened at night.

EDIT: I should add that this is the middle east, so getting caught meant being forced to marry her, I was 17 and she was 15 at the time. So a buddy helped us out.
 
Miles Quaritch said:
I wrong holed once, sex was over and she never called me again.

It wasn't all my fault though, she was in the doggy position and almost angrily demanding I fuck her hard and then it just happened during one of the thrusts...

The scream and the way her body jerked forward. I'll never forget it...
Click to expand...

This is amazing.
 
I was with my new girlfriend and we had only recently professed our love for each other. I had my forehead on her forehead and things were really, really nice. Then I lifted my head up and there was blood all over her face. She had one eye closed and her lips pursed to keep it from going into her mouth. It was horrific.

I had gotten a bloody nose and bled, copiously, all over her. Including in her open eye. ("My vision just went totally red, it was so scary!") I was mortified and humiliated, but she laughed about it. She got up and cleaned up and I just sat on the bed with tissues in my nose thinking she was probably going to leave me now, despite our recent confessions.

When she came back, she told me not to worry about it. I said, "but I bled in your EYE."

And she said, "but we're in love!"

We're still together. It's been three and a half years. We still have sex, too!
 
Oh, I once had a guy start trying to choke me during sex and I very plainly and seriously told him if he tried it again, I could not be responsible for his safety or well-being because it would likely set me off.
 
sfedai0 said:
WHY
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I had severe bell's palsy. My right eye was the last to be "cured" of it. I wasn't able to close it at all for a long time. So I had to wear an eye patch and apply eye drops every other hour so my eye sight wouldn't deteriorate too badly. Wasn't too successful but I'm a lot better off doing so than not wearing it.

Oh yeah, I had a sad ass handjob in the theater once. I was dragged to see Avengers a second time in theaters. Didn't like it enough to want to see it again but what surprised me was in the middle of the movie she started tugging. Didn't really work and I couldn't cum. At least she seemed to really enjoy the movie.
 
Sex with a woman who liked hard throatfucking, untill she started puking all over. Quickly grabbed a towel to clean up a little. Then continue to throatfuck and she would still occasionaly throw up. It was a mess, but somehow it turned me on.
I haven't met another woman who's fine with that.
 
The day after my 22nd birthday I felt pretty damn shit. I had a terrible year behind me, lots of people in my life that were with me for years had left me and I was still chasing after a girl I had romantic feelings for but who never wanted anything to do with me. I also hadn't had sex for 2 years at that point.

So I went out into the city, had a few drinks (but didn't get drunk) and headed into the red light district. I wasn't really 100% sure about sleeping with a prostitute but I at least wanted to look around. So I walk past the windows, the prostitutes start trying to get me to join them and I say "fuck it,why not" and go into the window of a beautiful black lady.

We talk business and get down to it and as we just start, she says "let me put my legs up on your shoulders baby" and just like, pulls them up. I wasn't prepared for that and my arm is in the way of her leg,she tries to move around it quickly and BAM hits me in the side of my head with her high heels.
I'm all "wtf happened?" and she just becomes SO worried and concerned all "omg i am so sorry oh god are you ok omg i am sorry really!" and tries to like, check out my head if she hurt me or something. to do that she pulls away from me and wants to sit up and as she does I move forward and she basically knees me in my erection.
I get the wind taken out of me and just fall over grabbing my junk as she now becomes almost panicked and tries to help me,comfort me,say she is sorry all at the same time.

Needless to say, ther was no more sexy times then. Instead she made us both drinks, kept asking if I was ok and then we talked for like an hour and she listened to my troubles (which in retrospect were barely worth mentioning). She even wanted to give me my money back, but I said she should keep it, she earned it for being my shrink that night (and I joked she'd beat me up again if I took it :P ). She sent me on my way with a kiss and told me to keep my head up and funnily enough that encounter changed my gloomy outlook overnight and things started going well from then on out.
 
Not me, but I remember someone posting a similar topic here and explaining that he tried to pickle vegetables in his girlfriend's vagina, so that gets my vote.
 
Exodust said:
1. At the age of 17, I was dating this very depressed cutter. During the deed she asked if she cut herself a little if I would suck and drink some of her blood. Thought about it, didn't really have a problem with it, and did it.

2. I've had an older woman ask me to pee on her after sex. I pissed on her while she was in a bath tub. She seemed to enjoy it.

3. I am able to say "I've once finger fucked a deaf girl who was giving me directions while I drove drunk" and not be lying. Not exactly something I'm proud of though.
Click to expand...

OP already in with the doozies!

The Wall said:
Bleeding/uteral pain after because of an IUD and an unmindful man. Had to take that out- wasn't worth the risk of having my uterus torn apart in trying to educate someone with selective hearing.
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Crayons said:
he fell asleep while I blew him and pissed himself
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Although these are pretty close!
 
Shun said:
💑🈴🔃🍑🍆👋😭 ❤️ 💦 👅
🍆🍳🍚

Something me and my girlfriend tried recently.

If not allowed or too obscene, mods may lock under their discretion.
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Was waiting for someone to post this tbh
 
Herbspiceguy said:
Sex with a woman who liked hard throatfucking, untill she started puking all over. Quickly grabbed a towel to clean up a little. Then continue to throatfuck and she would still occasionaly throw up. It was a mess, but somehow it turned me on.
I haven't met another woman who's fine with that.
Click to expand...

Fuck the puke away? That's hardcore.

The Wall said:
Oh, I once had a guy start trying to choke me during sex and I very plainly and seriously told him if he tried it again, I could not be responsible for his safety or well-being because it would likely set me off.
Click to expand...
Choking is pretty common, though. Set you off in that you'd deck him one?
 
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