What are some of the weirdest things you've done or had happen to you during sex?

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How About No said:
Not NSFW for Work (why are you in this thread at work get back to your 9-5 hamster wheel)
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Thanks, I was about to give a stick figure drawing a try but your painting is clearly superior.

OniBarubary said:
Woulda just gone with two separate buttplugs. The double-ended approach kinda only helps things if you're like, focusing on that on a straight ass-to-ass/pussy sitch. Otherwise the thrusting dislodges it or does like...nothing.
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We were both young and did not have a lot of experience. I guess it was more a "if I get FUTA you gotta be willing to have the same done to you" kind of deal to her. Nowadays I would just use a buttplug for me and work her pussy with a vibrator while fucking her ass.
 
Rest said:
I just hope this is true because it's so funny.
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Lol it's not even the "weirdest" thing that happened, just one of the most memorable. We both watch wrestling so she didn't mind lol.

Another bizarre thing that happens is every now and then is I have a slip of the tongue and say dumb shit while we do it. My girlfriend's ass is phenomenal and she loves it when I talk dirty to her, but sometimes being the goof I am, when I'm trying to be hot I fail miserably.

I was pulling her hair once when she was on all fours, and she was like "do you like it daddy?" And I tried to be hot and say something sexy, but instead of saying what I meant, I said:

"Do you want to stick your big dick in my ass?"

And I tried to keep going but I bust out laughing and she fell over.

Oh, and one time I was going down on her and I wondered why she got so quiet and she fell asleep. It was like 2 in the morning and we were both exhausted. I was like "Are you enjoying yourself sexy?" And all of a sudden I just hear her fuckin' snoring.

One time she didn't want to stop watching Rick and Morty, so she asked me to dt her upside down on the couch so she could still watch the show.

Edit:

Then one thing she won't let me live down is when we were a bit younger (19 or so, we're 25 & 26 now) I was really into Dead Space and wouldn't stop playing the game (who would? The series is incredible.) She comes up to me all sexy and sat on her knees between my legs and looked at me and was like "Do you want me to suck your cock?" And I didn't even budge as I was pwning the shit out of necromorphs and I just let out this stupid "ooo." Sound that was like a half assed attempt at sounding interested. She laughed and was like "what the fuck is wrong with you" and she was like "You really need to stop playing that game."
 
captainraincoat said:
I was fucking this bird once who was really into body sculpting ect and was on a shitload of supplements....great body but the side effects were she got acne on her back....one doggystyle session she asks me to start popping her pimples on her back....I'm like wtf but go along with it....4 or 5 in she starts getting off on it and begs me to keep going....find a big red one on her shoulder and squeeze it....bang..hits me in the eye and cock immediately goes limp......end of sex.
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
How About No said:
Not NSFW for Work (why are you in this thread at work get back to your 9-5 hamster wheel)
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You've done your country proud
captainraincoat said:
I was fucking this bird once who was really into body sculpting ect and was on a shitload of supplements....great body but the side effects were she got acne on her back....one doggystyle session she asks me to start popping her pimples on her back....I'm like wtf but go along with it....4 or 5 in she starts getting off on it and begs me to keep going....find a big red one on her shoulder and squeeze it....bang..hits me in the eye and cock immediately goes limp......end of sex.
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I've heard of zit popping as a fetish (both giving and receiving) but damn. That's nasty as fuck.
 
Was doing some fore-foreplay with my (now) ex, and it was dark as hell. She was a biter, and not the pleasant bites kind but the "all of a sudden vicegrip"-kind. Never liked that. Anyway, she was licking my nipple, sucking it, started nibbling it, and it was a bit cold so my nipples were insanely sensitive. I couldn't see what she was doing, so as soon as I felt teeth I feared wgat might come and I reflexively pulled back like greased lightning. This caused her, in her surprise, to clamp down. *Hard*.

Hurt like a biiiitch. We laughed it off though, shit happens, until I felt my chest being a bit too moist and warm and I put 2 + 2 + searing pain together. Turned on the light, and my entire chest was covered in blood. Nipple was split cleanly down the middle, bleeding like mad. Turned into quite a wonky scar, my nipple is twice normal size and it's so insanely sensitive now it hurts when I wear a coarse shirt and it's cold.

Cool party story though.
 
Zombine said:
I was pulling her hair once when she was on all fours, and she was like "do you like it daddy?" And I tried to be hot and say something sexy, but instead of saying what I meant, I said:

"Do you want to stick your big dick in my ass?"

And I tried to keep going but I bust out laughing and she fell over.
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Hah I do this shit all the time. Or my GF gets giddy and starts laughing every time I try enter and starts falling all over the place so I get annoyed after a while, pull up my big boy trousers and stop.

laoni said:
My boyfriend did the Konami code on my tits with his dick. I was laughing so hard I couldn't continue
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This is on another level.
 
After taking it up her ass, she turns around, takes some mentruation blood from her pussy, rubs it all over my dick and starts sucking me off, while rubbing more blood over her body. She lets me come over her tits, she picks up some cum with her fingers, and starts snorting it up.
 
neorej said:
After taking it up her ass, she turns around, takes some mentruation blood from her pussy, rubs it all over my dick and starts sucking me off, while rubbing more blood over her body. She lets me come over her tits, she picks up some cum with her fingers, and starts snorting it up.
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WTF........
 
neorej said:
After taking it up her ass, she turns around, takes some mentruation blood from her pussy, rubs it all over my dick and starts sucking me off, while rubbing more blood over her body. She lets me come over her tits, she picks up some cum with her fingers, and starts snorting it up.
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Taking the a2m to the next level..
 
neorej said:
After taking it up her ass, she turns around, takes some mentruation blood from her pussy, rubs it all over my dick and starts sucking me off, while rubbing more blood over her body. She lets me come over her tits, she picks up some cum with her fingers, and starts snorting it up.
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DtRp156.gif
 
neorej said:
After taking it up her ass, she turns around, takes some mentruation blood from her pussy, rubs it all over my dick and starts sucking me off, while rubbing more blood over her body. She lets me come over her tits, she picks up some cum with her fingers, and starts snorting it up.
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Nope nope nope nope nope
 
neorej said:
After taking it up her ass, she turns around, takes some mentruation blood from her pussy, rubs it all over my dick and starts sucking me off, while rubbing more blood over her body. She lets me come over her tits, she picks up some cum with her fingers, and starts snorting it up.
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Are we just trying to out do each other now?
I think you made this up.

And if you didn't............holy shit.
 
Playing a game one morning where she would gently place her pussy on parts of my body and face while I lay there blindfolded.

I really loved the back of my neck and ear.

Then going straight into work at the time. Kinda marked. Both of us exchanging glances when someone would come to talk to us.

Similarly when she came into work wearing her tight black dress that I had came all over. Some of it obviously visable without telling me. Then pointing it out from a little bit away. She was a lot of fun.
 
neorej said:
After taking it up her ass, she turns around, takes some mentruation blood from her pussy, rubs it all over my dick and starts sucking me off, while rubbing more blood over her body. She lets me come over her tits, she picks up some cum with her fingers, and starts snorting it up.
Click to expand...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
Spaced Harrier said:
Playing a game one morning where she would gently place her pussy on parts of my body and face while I lay there blindfolded.

I really loved the back of my neck and ear.

Then going straight into work at the time. Kinda marked. Both of us exchanging glances when someone would come to talk to us.

Similarly when she came into work wearing her tight black dress that I had came all over. Some of it obviously visable without telling me. Then pointing it out from a little bit away. She was a lot of fun.
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I don't understand the weird part in the first thing here
 
Exodust said:
At the age of 17, I was dating this very depressed cutter. During the deed she asked if she cut herself a little if I would suck and drink some of her blood. Thought about it, didn't really have a problem with it, and did it.
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Man what the fuck ? Hell nah.
 
After a shitty Halloween party a dude yelled "after party at my house", so me and my friends from work hopped in the my van and followed the train of cars to the dudes home. He had a pool so it turned into a 1am panties and bra pool party. I was smoking a cig in the jacuzzi when a very drunk girl swam over and decided to give me an underwater hummer.

After ten seconds or so the sucking stopped, but I was pretty drunk so I didn't really think anything of it until around a minute later. I looked down and the chick was passed out and drowning. I pulled her out but she wouldn't wake up. My friend, a former EMT, had to do chest compressions on her. She eventually spat up some water and woke up.

She was pretty fucked up and my friend recommended calling an ambulance/taking her to althe ER, but her friends just took her home (I guess). I saw her at a party some time later and she seemed okay.
 
not as crazy as some other stories here... but at least somewhat weird:

in the middle of doing it, my gf suddenly turned to me with a big grin and said (in german) "Ich bin ein Stein" ("I'm a stone") - but to my knowledge she doesn't speak german ...
and than she turned into a stone... as in making herself as heavy and inflexible as possible and not moving at all anymore.
 
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