Androidsleeps
Member
WTF Gaf?
What are some of the weirdest things you've done or had happen to you during sex?
- Thread starter Exodust
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Damerman
Member
Ur a greater man than i. I end up hating the shit out of my self everytime i hit it raw. I have no self control!
High school gf - going at it standard on her couch, just at the peak and hear a car door shut. Pulled out but was already firing and it went in her eyes, in her hair, on the couch and probably the wall. I'm scrambling to get my Umbros back on, she's trying to get to bathroom and can't see. She had red eyes for a couple of days after.
I peak out the window and her mom is having her stepdad look at the grass in the yard or some shit, I'm thinking she saw us through the window and bought us some time.
I peak out the window and her mom is having her stepdad look at the grass in the yard or some shit, I'm thinking she saw us through the window and bought us some time.
During some rough sex, while behind, I went to give her neck a nice squeeze, ended up cracking her neck. It was like her neck had never been cracked in such a way, so the sound made me think for split second that I just snapped her neck and killed her. We ended up laughing about it for a while before getting back to it.
SchrodingerC
Member
Some of y'all need jesus.
That's...quite the fetish.
How long did you leave her in there?
That's...quite the fetish.
How long did you leave her in there?
It's no good unless she gives you a rimjob too.
B_Spooky13
Member
Let's see.
My girl at the time was having sex with 3 other girls at her birthday party. Me and I think one or two other of the girl's boyfriends were just watching, enjoying the show. Then we noticed a friend of a friend wacking it in the corner of the bedroom. Proceeded to throw him out of the apartment.
Was having sex with a girl when I noticed that my condom had slipped off. I turned on the light to look for it.. Couldn't find it anywhere. I'm like what the fuck. Then say whatever.. We finish and she leaves. I start making my bed for sleep.. The condom was under my mattress.. I call her up and ask her. She says she knows nothing. Weird fucking girl.
Teenage years.. Me and a girl are hanging out in a tent in her back yard. We started getting frisky and giving each other oral. We finish and I was going to smoke a cigarette outside. When I saw her dad naked in the hot tub. I asked her about that and she said he does that all the time.. And asked for sex.. I apologized. Left immediately. She started screaming at me while I was fast walking to my car.. Trying to ignore her naked dad telling me to have a good night
Picked up a hot rockabilly chick at a bar one time. She took me home and we started talking getting to know each other.. Kinda fooling around a little. When she told me that she used to hang with a motorcycle gang and she used to let 50 to 60 year old men run a train on her on a normal basis. Mind you we were early 20s and she said this was few years ago. So it was definitely before 20 but not too sure how far back. I left after that.
Had a girl poop during sex a few times.. Just cleaned it up and kept going.
Edit: Oh I forgot one. A girl for some reason thought it would be hot to lick up that liquid candy stuff that was around in '98-'99 years. I forgot the name of it. Didn't realize how sticky it actually was. Every lick felt like she was waxing my junk. After 3 or 4 licks I yelled and ran to the shower.
My girl at the time was having sex with 3 other girls at her birthday party. Me and I think one or two other of the girl's boyfriends were just watching, enjoying the show. Then we noticed a friend of a friend wacking it in the corner of the bedroom. Proceeded to throw him out of the apartment.
Was having sex with a girl when I noticed that my condom had slipped off. I turned on the light to look for it.. Couldn't find it anywhere. I'm like what the fuck. Then say whatever.. We finish and she leaves. I start making my bed for sleep.. The condom was under my mattress.. I call her up and ask her. She says she knows nothing. Weird fucking girl.
Teenage years.. Me and a girl are hanging out in a tent in her back yard. We started getting frisky and giving each other oral. We finish and I was going to smoke a cigarette outside. When I saw her dad naked in the hot tub. I asked her about that and she said he does that all the time.. And asked for sex.. I apologized. Left immediately. She started screaming at me while I was fast walking to my car.. Trying to ignore her naked dad telling me to have a good night
Picked up a hot rockabilly chick at a bar one time. She took me home and we started talking getting to know each other.. Kinda fooling around a little. When she told me that she used to hang with a motorcycle gang and she used to let 50 to 60 year old men run a train on her on a normal basis. Mind you we were early 20s and she said this was few years ago. So it was definitely before 20 but not too sure how far back. I left after that.
Had a girl poop during sex a few times.. Just cleaned it up and kept going.
Edit: Oh I forgot one. A girl for some reason thought it would be hot to lick up that liquid candy stuff that was around in '98-'99 years. I forgot the name of it. Didn't realize how sticky it actually was. Every lick felt like she was waxing my junk. After 3 or 4 licks I yelled and ran to the shower.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
Lost a condom in my ex once, like a few hours later she started getting freaked out by feeling weird down there. I inspected and sure enough, it was up there. She was pissed but relieved.
Conkersbadfurday
Member
I fucking love this trainwreck forum.
The Albatross
Member
Yautja_Warrior
Member
Went on holiday a few years ago with my GF, our friend from school, Rachel and her boyfriend. We had a joining room at the hotel.
We went out got really drunk, as you do, and then all crashed in one room, when we got back to hotel. I got up in the middle of the night and went into the other room and got in bed, I then heard the door open and close and my GF sat on top of me and started kissing me, so we got naked and got it on.
But I noticed something wasn't quite right and flicked the light on, it wasn't my GF at all, it was Rachel sat on top of me, we stopped and looked a little shocked at each other, clearly she thought it was her BF, but us still being quite drunk, she suddenly started to smile, flicked the light off and carried on, and it was amazing.
After we had done, she fell asleep and I got up and went back to the other room, so not to get caught by my GF or her BF. Luckily she's open minded about sex, so kept it our little secret.
We went out got really drunk, as you do, and then all crashed in one room, when we got back to hotel. I got up in the middle of the night and went into the other room and got in bed, I then heard the door open and close and my GF sat on top of me and started kissing me, so we got naked and got it on.
But I noticed something wasn't quite right and flicked the light on, it wasn't my GF at all, it was Rachel sat on top of me, we stopped and looked a little shocked at each other, clearly she thought it was her BF, but us still being quite drunk, she suddenly started to smile, flicked the light off and carried on, and it was amazing.
After we had done, she fell asleep and I got up and went back to the other room, so not to get caught by my GF or her BF. Luckily she's open minded about sex, so kept it our little secret.
Vincent Grayson
Member
Maybe 20-30 minutes before it was really bugging me.
Damerman
Member
Woooooooooow.Went on holiday a few years ago with my GF, our friend from school, Rachel and her boyfriend. We had a joining room at the hotel.
We went out got really drunk, as you do, and then all crashed in one room, when we got back to hotel. I got up in the middle of the night and went into the other room and got in bed, I then heard the door open and close and my GF sat on top of me and started kissing me, so we got naked and got it on.
But I noticed something wasn't quite right and flicked the light on, it wasn't my GF at all, it was Rachel sat on top of me, we stopped and looked a little shocked at each other, clearly she thought it was her BF, but us still being quite drunk, she suddenly started to smile, flicked the light off and carried on, and it was amazing.
After we had done, she fell asleep and I got up and went back to the other room, so not to get caught by my GF or her BF. Luckily she's open minded about sex, so kept it our little secret.
Askherserenity
Member
Once fingered one of my high school girlfriends at church.
I kinda miss high school.
then had sex in the car while her mom got down to pickup some Chinese food.
I kinda miss high school.
I have couple of stories, not mine but both friends (neither are Gaf members so they'll never know).
One of my closest friends of the last 27yrs used to house share in his early 20s with a couple of other guys. He and one of his housemates and a friend were out while his other housemate came home with a girl and his friend. His friend sat on the couch in the bedroom while the girl and guy were laying on the bed. They started getting it on, and taking it off when she says "What about your friend?", well he didn't need to be asked twice.
So the threesome is in full swing and the other three come home. They barge into the other room without thought as it's usually quite social with the couch and console gaming. So they barge in and get a little embaraased, turn around and go to leave when the girl asks where they're going. During this session there was a point where she had the D in each orifice and one in each hand.
I've never doubted my friend of his story but have met a couple of the other housemates years later and bought this up and they swear it's all true. I had met the girl as well, but this was before the orgy and she was indeed always dtf.
Another story, but very short, my workmate used to have this booty call with a very attractive blonde in her early 20s. This particular night she called him up for a bit of how's ya father while she was on the bus home. He went round and met her there, she was drunk as hell. They went upstairs, got into bed and he went down on her and there was a condom left inside her from earlier that night. He left and never hooked up with her again.
One of my closest friends of the last 27yrs used to house share in his early 20s with a couple of other guys. He and one of his housemates and a friend were out while his other housemate came home with a girl and his friend. His friend sat on the couch in the bedroom while the girl and guy were laying on the bed. They started getting it on, and taking it off when she says "What about your friend?", well he didn't need to be asked twice.
So the threesome is in full swing and the other three come home. They barge into the other room without thought as it's usually quite social with the couch and console gaming. So they barge in and get a little embaraased, turn around and go to leave when the girl asks where they're going. During this session there was a point where she had the D in each orifice and one in each hand.
I've never doubted my friend of his story but have met a couple of the other housemates years later and bought this up and they swear it's all true. I had met the girl as well, but this was before the orgy and she was indeed always dtf.
Another story, but very short, my workmate used to have this booty call with a very attractive blonde in her early 20s. This particular night she called him up for a bit of how's ya father while she was on the bus home. He went round and met her there, she was drunk as hell. They went upstairs, got into bed and he went down on her and there was a condom left inside her from earlier that night. He left and never hooked up with her again.
perfectchaos007
Member
Loooool nah. It happened on 2 different occasions. One fart each time.
Stallion Dan
Member
Story has minor details about the deed, but they kinda need be there to explain the story, otherwise I'd skip them. You were warned.
So when a lot younger than I am now, I was going at it with a long time girlfriend. It was a really hot summer night and we don't get those often in the UK, adding the fact we were in an double attached house (houses on both sides) we needed close the windows to hide the noise and we kept the lights off, so the heat was even worse. We were going at it very passionately, me on top of her with her legs and arms wrapped around my back/lower half. To say the heat was extreme is an understatement, it was hitting us so hard I was sweating pounds off. The sex went on for quite a while and my back started really hurting, but I continued on and eventually we finished.
As I lay next to her afterwards I noticed the bed was really wet under me, I reach round with my hand and felt my lower back and it was drenched in sweat, so I said I was gonna take a shower and she said she needed one after me and would be changing the sheets while I did so. So I walk into the bathroom and turn on the light, as my eyes began adjusting to the light being turned on, the bedroom being dark the entire time, I notice something wrong with my hand. It wasn't the right colour, too bright. As my focus became proper I finally saw, it was red. A million things are rushing through my mind in the next second, the thoughts interupted by a scream coming from the bedroom.
So I rush back into the bedroom, the light in there having been turned on by my girlfriend and I see what looks like a scene from a horror movie. The bed is red wth blood, and my girlfriend has blood all over her naked body.
So it turns out that huge amount of wet I could feel was mostly blood, not sweat. That pain in my back was where she had sunk her nails into me and left either holes or small slices. She had sunk them into my back in the past, but never broke skin or left lasting marks. Well she had this time, enough to make me bleed heavily and I needed go to the hospital and have them glued shut. I was scarred for about 2 years before they eventually faded. She always cut her nails short after that and used fakes when needed.
So when a lot younger than I am now, I was going at it with a long time girlfriend. It was a really hot summer night and we don't get those often in the UK, adding the fact we were in an double attached house (houses on both sides) we needed close the windows to hide the noise and we kept the lights off, so the heat was even worse. We were going at it very passionately, me on top of her with her legs and arms wrapped around my back/lower half. To say the heat was extreme is an understatement, it was hitting us so hard I was sweating pounds off. The sex went on for quite a while and my back started really hurting, but I continued on and eventually we finished.
As I lay next to her afterwards I noticed the bed was really wet under me, I reach round with my hand and felt my lower back and it was drenched in sweat, so I said I was gonna take a shower and she said she needed one after me and would be changing the sheets while I did so. So I walk into the bathroom and turn on the light, as my eyes began adjusting to the light being turned on, the bedroom being dark the entire time, I notice something wrong with my hand. It wasn't the right colour, too bright. As my focus became proper I finally saw, it was red. A million things are rushing through my mind in the next second, the thoughts interupted by a scream coming from the bedroom.
So I rush back into the bedroom, the light in there having been turned on by my girlfriend and I see what looks like a scene from a horror movie. The bed is red wth blood, and my girlfriend has blood all over her naked body.
So it turns out that huge amount of wet I could feel was mostly blood, not sweat. That pain in my back was where she had sunk her nails into me and left either holes or small slices. She had sunk them into my back in the past, but never broke skin or left lasting marks. Well she had this time, enough to make me bleed heavily and I needed go to the hospital and have them glued shut. I was scarred for about 2 years before they eventually faded. She always cut her nails short after that and used fakes when needed.
OniBarubary
Banned
Holy shit dude, as someone who has had many an experience with hard scratching enough to draw blood it was NEVER that bad that it actually like ran rivers of blood down my back or chest. Jesus that had to have been fucking HARD to get that kind of bloodflow and I'm speaking from experience here.
HyperCubed4
Member
I once had a girl lick a Fruit Roll-Up off my wiener. Other than that, my sex life has been pretty normal. In that, I don't have enough sex to have "weird" experiences.
Holy fucking shit. The dog one. Dying.
Damerman
Member
Mine is pretty tame.
So i go on this france trip with 4 or 5 complete strangers for a class trip. I've only known them for one semester. By the end of the trip one of the girls was reeeaaaly feeling me. The night before our last night, the furtherst i went with her was some pretty heavy kissing and grinding at a club and it was the furthest i wanted to go with an american girl in france. The night we were to leave, we were all hanging out in me and my roomates room playing drinking games.
Towards the end when everyone was tired, i was sitting on my bed and i look over to my friends bed and i see the girl lifting her shirt and just laying there bare chested staring into my soul, i almost do a double take, but i had to play it smooth so she didnt feel awkward so i just held her gaze. She reached out to me so i just gave her my hand, not really sure what she was planning. She takes my thumb into her mouth and i just remember all the blood in my body rushing as i looked around to see if anyone else was seeing what i was seeing. Mind you most everyone else is in the room sleeping. She gets up and sits next to me and we begin to kiss, i start rub her out and i have never ever felt a girl this wet. Like the more i rubbed the more wet she got and it felt like my hand was submerged in a body of water. So we keep going until i tell "jesus christ you are wet" and my roomate who was on the other bed just starts laughing. And every one wakes up. Me and the girl try to play it off.
So i go on this france trip with 4 or 5 complete strangers for a class trip. I've only known them for one semester. By the end of the trip one of the girls was reeeaaaly feeling me. The night before our last night, the furtherst i went with her was some pretty heavy kissing and grinding at a club and it was the furthest i wanted to go with an american girl in france. The night we were to leave, we were all hanging out in me and my roomates room playing drinking games.
Towards the end when everyone was tired, i was sitting on my bed and i look over to my friends bed and i see the girl lifting her shirt and just laying there bare chested staring into my soul, i almost do a double take, but i had to play it smooth so she didnt feel awkward so i just held her gaze. She reached out to me so i just gave her my hand, not really sure what she was planning. She takes my thumb into her mouth and i just remember all the blood in my body rushing as i looked around to see if anyone else was seeing what i was seeing. Mind you most everyone else is in the room sleeping. She gets up and sits next to me and we begin to kiss, i start rub her out and i have never ever felt a girl this wet. Like the more i rubbed the more wet she got and it felt like my hand was submerged in a body of water. So we keep going until i tell "jesus christ you are wet" and my roomate who was on the other bed just starts laughing. And every one wakes up. Me and the girl try to play it off.
mariachi507
Member
"But it doesn't feel like cheating. She's just my sister."
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
Mattlikewhoa
Member
Well then...
For a second I thought your dog sucked it off you
biggersmaller
Banned
One dark night in college my girlfriend and I pulled the car over onto a rural dirt road for some action. As we were in the back seat getting warmed up a speeding train sped maybe a fucking foot from my car's front bumper.
If I would've pulled that car up a little more onto that unmarked crossing I wouldn't be typing this to you now and our parents would've had the most embarrassing police report ever to read.
If I would've pulled that car up a little more onto that unmarked crossing I wouldn't be typing this to you now and our parents would've had the most embarrassing police report ever to read.
OniBarubary
Banned
Was she Korean?
Goose_Se7en
Banned
Some cray shit has happened to you Gaffers while laying pipe.
My story isn't anything crazy, more embarrassing really.
I was 16, me and my girlfriend were straight fucking and I got an asthma attack during our session. Didn't take my Singulair pill nor my pump and I was on top and just felt my chest seize and started wheezing.
My asthma attacks usually are never that sudden but that day I got fucked. Luckily my gf at the time knew about my attacks and got me my pump.
We just recently had started sleeping together so it was embarrassing for me.
My story isn't anything crazy, more embarrassing really.
I was 16, me and my girlfriend were straight fucking and I got an asthma attack during our session. Didn't take my Singulair pill nor my pump and I was on top and just felt my chest seize and started wheezing.
My asthma attacks usually are never that sudden but that day I got fucked. Luckily my gf at the time knew about my attacks and got me my pump.
We just recently had started sleeping together so it was embarrassing for me.
Went on holiday a few years ago with my GF, our friend from school, Rachel and her boyfriend. We had a joining room at the hotel.
We went out got really drunk, as you do, and then all crashed in one room, when we got back to hotel. I got up in the middle of the night and went into the other room and got in bed, I then heard the door open and close and my GF sat on top of me and started kissing me, so we got naked and got it on.
But I noticed something wasn't quite right and flicked the light on, it wasn't my GF at all, it was Rachel sat on top of me, we stopped and looked a little shocked at each other, clearly she thought it was her BF, but us still being quite drunk, she suddenly started to smile, flicked the light off and carried on, and it was amazing.
After we had done, she fell asleep and I got up and went back to the other room, so not to get caught by my GF or her BF. Luckily she's open minded about sex, so kept it our little secret.
This is the hottest shit.
B_Spooky13
Member
Shmuppers
Member
Well yes.
Fucking dying. I can just imagine.
Sheriff_Battlesnake
Banned
Sister's brides maid's first. Very important distinction.
I like imagining my girlfriend busting out in fluent Korean mid session. She is pretty damn Caucasian
Crimsonlink
Member
I must have read it too fast and thought he ended the sentence after the quote. So it looked like it said
lol
I can't think of anything weird during sex besides having sex with a girl on her period and I wasn't aware. It was in my room and it was dark, I had a condom on and I was surprised at how "wet" she was. We finish and I turn the light on...blood everywhere.
Some weird shit has happened to me during head when drunk as well.
A girl told she had a surprise for me and told me to close my eyes next thing you know she was blowing with ice cubes in here mouth.
Same girl a couple of months later threw up while giving me head surprisingly there was barely anything and so we kept going. Apparently she had clam chowder at one point that day.
Some weird shit has happened to me during head when drunk as well.
A girl told she had a surprise for me and told me to close my eyes next thing you know she was blowing with ice cubes in here mouth.
Same girl a couple of months later threw up while giving me head surprisingly there was barely anything and so we kept going. Apparently she had clam chowder at one point that day.
Switch Back 9
a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
I was once doing a girl doggy style when my knee slipped off the side of the bed, and I fell spine-first onto a little tube TV that was on the floor beside the bed.
Basically felt like this.
Basically felt like this.
Frozenprince
Banned
I like bloodplay. With a LOT of blood.
OniBarubary
Banned
I thought she wasn't which is why that was weird. Like you were fucking her so hard she started speaking in a tongue she didn't know. That'd be pretty impressive.
Sex so good she speaking in tongues
Frozenprince
Banned
Commanche Raisin Toast
Member
-Girl was riding me and kissing/sucking on my neck, and suddenly bit my neck and started shaking her head like a dog does when it has a toy in its mouth. Wtf...
-Totally had a "wrong hole!" Moment and realized how easy it is for it to slip into the other one accidentally depending on the person. I felt so bad, but she played it off and could tell it was an accident.
-During fast penetration it slipped out slightly and went back in, which caused a bit of air to get in, and when I thrusted it made a fart sound. O__O
-Making out with a girl on my bed and she undid my pants and pulled it out to use her hand. She was surprisingly good at it and I suddenly came, and it shot out with such velocity that when I stopped kissing her for a split second before it happened I saw it shoot right between/past our faces like a bullet. It was a close call, and she seemed super smug and happy with herself for her achievement or something.
Edit: we were laying down on our sides facing each other.****
That's about all I can think of right now.
-Totally had a "wrong hole!" Moment and realized how easy it is for it to slip into the other one accidentally depending on the person. I felt so bad, but she played it off and could tell it was an accident.
-During fast penetration it slipped out slightly and went back in, which caused a bit of air to get in, and when I thrusted it made a fart sound. O__O
-Making out with a girl on my bed and she undid my pants and pulled it out to use her hand. She was surprisingly good at it and I suddenly came, and it shot out with such velocity that when I stopped kissing her for a split second before it happened I saw it shoot right between/past our faces like a bullet. It was a close call, and she seemed super smug and happy with herself for her achievement or something.
Edit: we were laying down on our sides facing each other.****
That's about all I can think of right now.
Yeah, had an ex who has done that before. A couple of days later and completely unprovoked, she randomly asks "In what language should I call you "Daddy" during sex? My friend is Hispanic and she always uses Papi, but I like Daddy more." She was not receptive to my response of "You probably don't have to call me daddy at all."
GustyGardens
Banned
At around that same age I was dating a girl that took a safety pin from my desk and began to cut my thighs up with it. Yeah. We don't see each other anymore.
The cuts weren't deep, thank God, but they stung for a few days afterward.
A few months later, I had a run in with another one of her exes, whom I knew, and she had a similar story. She showed me the cut on her thigh, and it was pretty bad. Hers was done with a knife!
I don't know where this person is now, but to the person she's dating:
7DollarHagane
Banned
Had the infamous bent dick happen with m girlfriend in college. She was on top and took too low of an angle. Felt real bad, heard an audible pop noise and it bled for a few days and swelled up.
it healed at least. But makes me super nervous about trying any weird angles or positions that put a lot of tension on the penis.
it healed at least. But makes me super nervous about trying any weird angles or positions that put a lot of tension on the penis.
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