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I'm 30 and have never moved out

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Moved out when I was 18 for college, moved back in last year to save money. The goal is to save $30k as a down payment on a home.
 
I'm turning 23 next week and I still live at my mom's. I pay rent and other bills to her though like internet and phone. Living with her is still cheaper than moving to an apartment, and I really want to save up enough money to move out to my own home but paying her nearly $800 a month makes it harder for me to save up and move out like she wants me too; but at the same time she is fully in her right to charge me rent. Now I don't know if she just likes the extra money she's getting because I certainly don't use that my electricity or eat that much food xP
 
That sounds insane to me. I can't imagine living with my parents that long, i'm 24 and I moved out when I was 18.

While I only live 40 miles away from my parents now(chicago), I lived in Seattle and San Antonio and didn't see my parents for 4 years so imagining seeing them almost everyday for 30 years is blowing my mind.
 
29 years old here and in the process of finding a place. Saved up some money and although I am working a part-time job at the moment I can move out. Have enough money to get a decent place, I just need to find what I am looking for. Being Greek this is pretty normal for me though. I know a bunch of people in the same spot as me at the moment.
 
Man the western culture on this is so different to Asians.
It's common in Asia for people to live with their parents up to the point where they get married.
I mean, why would you spend a lot of money paying rent when you can save those up for your house deposit.
 
Don't sweat it, you are going to die one day and everything you thought you worked for will be lost. Keep in mind there's no free will, you were always going to be living at home at 30.
 
a916 said:
To those that don't move out... how do you date? Are you bringing partners back to your place?
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You go to their places, it's not rocket science. I lived nearby the college I went, so there was no point living in residence, but I still spent most of my free time there. If they also live with their parents they're not in a spot to judge.
 
nearing 30, would love to be on my own but buying an apartment in Beirut or its suburbs is out of the question, cheapest I could find is 150K $ and I don't make nearly enough to be able to pay the monthly payments. Sucks too, because without an apartment most women around here don't even look at as husband material.
 
Tesseract said:
Don't sweat it, you are going to die one day and everything you thought you worked for will be lost. Keep in mind there's no free will, you were always going to be living at home at 30.
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StoneFox said:
I'm turning 23 next week and I still live at my mom's. I pay rent and other bills to her though like internet and phone. Living with her is still cheaper than moving to an apartment, and I really want to save up enough money to move out to my own home but paying her nearly $800 a month makes it harder for me to save up and move out like she wants me too; but at the same time she is fully in her right to charge me rent. Now I don't know if she just likes the extra money she's getting because I certainly don't use that my electricity or eat that much food xP
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You're paying $800 a month and still living with your mom? That's like the worst of both worlds.
 
I am 28 and still live at home. I pay some of the bills and any repairs/upgrades the house needs.

Though some how I do plan on moving out this year.
 
Love my parents very much but I can't live with them full time. Would go crazy.

Moved out at 18 and haven't been back other than for holidays.
 
StoneFox said:
I'm turning 23 next week and I still live at my mom's. I pay rent and other bills to her though like internet and phone. Living with her is still cheaper than moving to an apartment, and I really want to save up enough money to move out to my own home but paying her nearly $800 a month makes it harder for me to save up and move out like she wants me too; but at the same time she is fully in her right to charge me rent. Now I don't know if she just likes the extra money she's getting because I certainly don't use that my electricity or eat that much food xP
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Dude, you can pay $800 including utilities and live alone.
 
if you can't save the money with much lower expenses now, I'd consider looking at an entire new path or secondary income.

Unless there is something I am missing... Why be bound to an inherently low paying option? Kick that poker table over, it isn't worth playing.
 
If you and your parents can get along and they're fine with it, I guess I don't necessarily hold it against someone who's thirty and still lives at home.

It doesn't seem like a very pleasant life to me personally, but you're not hurting me, so do whatever you want.

I do think that some people who choose to stay with their parents are hurting themselves in the long run. I see a bunch of people talking about not moving out because then they'd be broke, and they prefer to live a nice lifestyle at home until such a time as they get a degree-oriented job and can transition to a nice lifestyle on their own.

I think it's good for you to be broke as shit in your twenties, living on your own. I think it teaches you a lot of valuable lessons you're not likely to get anywhere else. I think you do yourself a disservice relying on someone else until you can step gently off their boat onto your own. You're willingly passing up important life skills and emotional tools you'll likely need later down the line.

But, again, it's not really my business to direct someone else's life.
 
StoneFox said:
I'm turning 23 next week and I still live at my mom's. I pay rent and other bills to her though like internet and phone. Living with her is still cheaper than moving to an apartment, and I really want to save up enough money to move out to my own home but paying her nearly $800 a month makes it harder for me to save up and move out like she wants me too; but at the same time she is fully in her right to charge me rent. Now I don't know if she just likes the extra money she's getting because I certainly don't use that my electricity or eat that much food xP
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800$ a month lol. She's probably hoping you get the message and leave by yourself so she doesn't have to kick you out.
 
I am 29 and can't get a job in my field. I have tried to get into finance but I keep getting no replies back from applications. I pay €200 a month to supplement the food bill. I offer to pay more but they refused.


I have been looking for a place and I thought I found a perfect one. It was 2 bedroom and €900 a month. It would be about 58% of my wage a month. I thought about getting a room mate and it would be affordable but nope the landlord wants to charge €900 per person. It I got a third person to sleep on the couch that would be €900 again.

I need a better job and it will be the first thing I will do.
 
I'm 26 live with mom in a 2 bedroom apartment. Pay rent, and bills. I'm still barely getting by. My Mom works retail and makes less then me. We're both screwed if either one of us leaves but, she's wanting to move with her sister far way and I've gotmy career to worry about.

besada said:
If you and your parents can get along and they're fine with it, I guess I don't necessarily hold it against someone who's thirty and still lives at home.

It doesn't seem like a very pleasant life to me personally, but you're not hurting me, so do whatever you want.

I do think that some people who choose to stay with their parents are hurting themselves in the long run. I see a bunch of people talking about not moving out because then they'd be broke, and they prefer to live a nice lifestyle at home until such a time as they get a degree-oriented job and can transition to a nice lifestyle on their own.

I think it's good for you to be broke as shit in your twenties, living on your own. I think it teaches you a lot of valuable lessons you're not likely to get anywhere else. I think you do yourself a disservice relying on someone else until you can step gently off their boat onto your own. You're willingly passing up important life skills and emotional tools you'll likely need later down the line.

But, again, it's not really my business to direct someone else's life.
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It'd be true if I had a career. I'm working retail, and I don't have a car and theres no public transportation whatsoever here. I grew up and my family lived paycheck-paycheck.
 
Lucreto said:
I have been looking for a place and I thought I found a perfect one. It was 2 bedroom and €900 a month. It would be about 58% of my wage a month. I thought about getting a room mate and it would be affordable but nope the landlord wants to charge €900 per person. It I got a third person to sleep on the couch that would be €900 again.

I need a better job and it will be the first thing I will do.
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Wait, he's asking 900$ if you take the whole place to yourself, but 1800 if you take a roommate? That makes zero sense, or is one bedroom already occupied by someone? The last part talking about a third is confusing.
 
AlimNassor said:
It'd be true if I had a career. I'm working retail, and I don't have a car and theres no public transportation whatsoever here. I grew up and my family lived paycheck-paycheck.
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That's why you'll note I said "some." I know that a lot of people simply have no real choice. Everyone does what they need to to get by. I've been where you are and it's rough. I'm mostly talking about young people who were raised upper/middle class and decide to take the cushy option until they can fund their own upper/middle class lifestyle.
 
Aztechnology said:
Yeaaaa I'll gladly trade that freedom to actual be able to save money. Plus I have a really good relationship with my parents, awesome people.
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Saving money is great and all but I'm so happy I didn't spend my 20's living with my parents. The idea of living with your parents throughout your 20's just so you can buy a home at 30 sounds incredibly boring. I have a great relationship with my parents, I talk to them all the time but I think we're all better off not living together.
 
ascii42 said:
Right, there's nothing wrong with a situation like that. I think the stigma comes from the idea that the person is leeching off their parents. You are not in that situation, but I know some people who are.
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Completely agree. I was gonna add this to my post but, dinner was ready (momma's cooking, living at home pro lol).

But, yes. If you are just bumming around the house, not helping out. That is definitely wrong imo.
 
xxracerxx said:
If I were a parent, I am not sure how I would feel if my kid/s still lived at home into their late 20s/30s.
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I'd be fine if they were saving money along the years to have a good nest egg when they do move out. I'd prob do the "pay me rent" and give them the money back when they move thing.
 
Southern California here. Lived w/my parents until 28 (I did pay them rent) while saving and waiting for the damn housing bubble to burst. I finally got tired of waiting and proceeded to spend $92k in wasted ass rent until finally the bubble burst and I was able to buy a house 7 years ago. My mortgage now is lower than my last monthly rent payment. To answer the question about dating, I typically would just hang out w/them in public or their place. It was never really a problem. At the time my salary was around $70k a year when I left my parents house and I couldn't afford a house. Ridiculous.
 
I'm 31 and still live rent-free with my parents. I've offered to pay rent, but they just tell me to put my rent into savings. I'm the resident IT guy they love to have around to help. I will help with yard work when I can (I have no talent for yardwork and all plants look like weeds to me so I'm usually not asked to help since I kill everything). I do the shoveling/plowing during the snow though. I buy my own stuff (lunches, clothes) and will usually pay when we go out to eat. I usually don't cook because my mom goes to Zoomba most weekdays and I won't be home in time to cook and have it ready before she leaves. I do cook for big parties my mom has (she thinks I'm by far a better cook). I do my own laundry and clean "my" bathroom (every two weeks).

The house we live in is plenty big enough anyway (there's 4 official bedrooms, plus two or three other areas people could stay in) and it's payed off already. It's easy enough for everyone to avoid each other when we want space. It probably would cost money to downsize anyway. The house is pretty centrally located to everything (movies, work, doctors, places to eat) so it would be hard to find a better location anyway.

I'm a reclusive Asocial Asexual Introvert so I don't really give a shit where I live or how things affect my social life (since I don't want one anyway). Living with my parents or living alone makes no difference to me. After 12 hours of being around people for work, I just want to be alone. Besides now that my parents are retired (and because I live with them), they can leave their dog with me and go on frequent trips around the country. They even just bought a condo in Florida so they will be leaving during the winters now so it isn't like we will be suffocation each other.
 
Skeyser said:
Wait, he's asking 900$ if you take the whole place to yourself, but 1800 if you take a roommate? That makes zero sense, or is one bedroom already occupied by someone? The last part talking about a third is confusing.
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He's just being a greedy fucker. The place has been empty for nearly a year after the previous tenants left after he changed the contract on renewal.

It looks like he is charging less for the apartment as the rent used to be €1,200 but trying to get more by charging per person. He said both rooms have to be occupied so I pick the room mate or he will. He was contemplating using a sofa bed in the living room for a third person.
 
oneils said:
You don't pay rent to your parents? How about contributing to bills? I can understand living with parents if you have some skin in the game, but I'm not quite sure why some parents don't at least ask for something for bills and expenses.
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Why would I pay rent if they don't pay rent? Both parents have houses and both want me to live with them.

I pay my share of the bills/food.
 
I moved the first second I could. Tried as soon as I graduated but was forced into moving with family. Tried to leave after we moved. Couldn't for six months. Paid rent to family just for my own sake of independence and stayed gone. Left to move across the entire country. Fought back and forth awhile. Struggled. Survived because the restaurants I worked at essentially meant dollar menu half price was cheaper than groceries. Struggled. Worked Struggled and worked some more. Family knew I wanted my independence and to be my own person more than anything and eventually clued in that if they wanted to be apart of my life they needed to let me live my life. They offered to help me when times got really rough. Like top ramen and landlords goin through my stuff bad.

Was forced to live with them only once more for a short period of months after a landlord gambled in vegas then came back early and evicted everyone . So what'd I do? Stayed gone and used it as literally only a place to sleep and shower. Worked and struggled. Worked and struggled. Got married. Worked as a team. Supported each other. Worked and worked.

14 fucking years. We're more than fine now. We're on the fast track to success these days with my career and prospects. Wanna know how I feel looking back at those old days? They were fun even when they were hard because I was free. Free to say and act as I felt. Free to dress and go where I felt. Free to love and be with who I wanted. Free to discover who I actually was and what really truly mattered to me in life and what I wanted to achieve.

Move out and struggle. Live and discover who you are. Its worth every moment and so long as you remember you're free you'll never feel trapped no matter how much you struggle.
 
At some point in time, you will move out. Make the most of your stay so save what you can and contribute how you can. Don't feel rushed. Really, there is little you can do even if you worry, so just be patient and do what needs to be done to get to the next level.
 
I don't know any under-30 here (Rome) who did, unless you're counting people who still live on their parents' dime anyway.

Most people do when they get engaged\married and have good jobs.
 
This is a white person thing. Why do you feel bad for living with your parents? Why do you feel bad that you're keeping them company and helping with the bills? I don't understand why this is looked down on.
 
valeo said:
This is a white person thing. Why do you feel bad for living with your parents? Why do you feel bad that you're keeping them company and helping with the bills? I don't understand why this is looked down on.
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Because it's weird having a girl over and having her bump into your mum when she goes to the toilet.
 
valeo said:
This is a white person thing. Why do you feel bad for living with your parents? Why do you feel bad that you're keeping them company and helping with the bills? I don't understand why this is looked down on.
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Because parents are people, and a good amount of people like to have their privacy. Your mom and dad want to walk around naked and fuck in the kitchen but they can't because your 30 year old ass is sitting on the couch in your tighty whitey's drinking Dew and playing Xbone.
 
The Beard said:
Because parents are people, and a good amount of people like to have their privacy. Your mom and dad want to walk around naked and fuck in the kitchen but they can't because your 30 year old ass is sitting on the couch in your tighty whitey's drinking Dew and playing Xbone.
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I guess it depends on the situation but most parents I know prefer to have someone to talk to. I know my mum struggled when I moved out because of this.

I just don't get the whole mentality that you need to move out as soon as possible, especially as it gets harder and harder to do so on a normal wage - unless you're a complete bludger and are weighing your parents down rather than helping them, of course.
 
I moved out at 32. I wish I hadn't. Because I had no money after that. Living paycheck to paycheck. I'm thinking about moving back.
 
There are a lot of factors at play - how well you get along with your parent(s), their housing/economic situation, your own economic situation, motivation, etc.

I moved out with my girlfriend (and shortly after wife) at 21. We both worked retail jobs so we definitely weren't living large, renting a modest one bedroom apartment, but it was great to get out on our own. We had the first place among our group of friends so it was kinda like home base for everyone for a couple years there. Good times, none of it would have been possible living with parents, some wild stuff went down.
 
Android18a said:
I moved out at the ripe old age of 28. No shame in moving out late, it's hard to afford it. Without two wage-earners it's almost more trouble than it's worth.

I'm having a really, really bad month of it myself and just paying the rent is looking like a nightmare at the moment.

I'd really recommend it if you can find a 2-bedroom place and share with a good friend or partner though.
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I am about to move out at 29. Staying at home allowed me to just pay off the last of my Uni loans the last week and still have enough to be looking at a car and a apartment. So I don't regret it. Being debt free is nice
 
I'm 26 and moved out when I was 22. I lived with a friend for a 3 years, then moved in with my now ex-gf for about a year, and now live in a house with a few other guys in their mid-20's. I was faced with either move back home, or find a place with room mates, and I would take having room mates over moving back home any day. Yea, it would have been nice to live at home for almost free, but once you're out it's almost impossible to move back.

A lot of this is a cultural thing too. Apparently for other cultures it's not uncommon for children to stay living with their parents through their 20's and into their 30's, but in America it's just considered normal for kids to move out once they become adults. I have friends from Bosnian families for example that lived with their parents until just recently or even still do in their mid/late 20's. It was explained to me that Bosnian kids stay living at home with their parents until they get married then they use wedding money/save up and move out to start their own families. I know in Asian families it's not uncommon to have multiple generations living in a household. It's practical, but just different than what we're expected to do in America.
 
Still with them, almost 24. As long as I continue with college they pay for everything. But as soon as I graduate I am on my own. That was the deal.
 
Waikis said:
Man the western culture on this is so different to Asians.
It's common in Asia for people to live with their parents up to the point where they get married.
I mean, why would you spend a lot of money paying rent when you can save those up for your house deposit.
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That's so they can always be sure
you're not doing the hanky panky

And you won't be doing much that way. Inviting dates back to your parents place would be weird as fuck at 25, let alone 30+.

And I realize dating culture is different as well so it may be less of a consideration.
 
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