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[Miles Quaritch]

This sounds more like you don't have the "balls" (I know I know, not the best term) to move and just want to mooch off your parents and live without any complexity. You know what? That's not how the world works. You are just cozy and comfy and don't wany to put yourself out there.

Please do tell me how will you invite a girl you are dating to your parents house if you are 24+. Or how in a working environment with professionals will you invite some for a drink over to your parents house? Hell, buying your own groceries is exciting as fuck. Grow up and get away from your comfort zone, it's gonna keep crushing you.

I'm mooching off my parents? LOL.

LOL.

LOL.

And Jesus wept. You're so caught in your superiority complex you're not able or willing to consider all sides of why someone would stay at home into their thirties.

As to your examples. Hotels exist, bars exist. I've never invited work colleagues over to my house. I have no reason to. If I want to socialise with them, I'll do it in a bar or other social setting. As for my girlfriend, she frequently stays over for weekends. She can't move in because she's currently living at home and helping her mum pay the mortgage, which her mum can't afford alone.

 

[Bisnic]

I moved out at 28. Main reason being I wanted to earn enough money to afford living alone in a decent apartment. Considering my salary during most of my 20s averaged between 12$ and 18$ an hour, it was only once I got above 20$/hour that I decided to move out.
I sure as hell wouldn't have been able to live on my own with only 15$. Not when decent 3½ apartments are around 700$/month. Then I have to pay for the car, the gas, the insurances, the food, the internet, the phone, everything needed for a cat, the electrical bills, and entertainment(gaming, movies, tv shows). All of that can add to a lot of money monthly.

Didn't really mind living with my parents, they're cool people. Of course it kinda stopped me in the dating scene since I feared that the stigma of "living with his parents when he's over 25" would hurt me greatly.

 

[Piers]

Even if your budget is tight, move out. There is nothing better than living alone.

Living alone generally isn't affordable unless you're rolling in the riches.

 

[John Kowalski]

Man this thread is a riot.

 

[Foffy]

Don't sweat it, you are going to die one day and everything you thought you worked for will be lost. Keep in mind there's no free will, you were always going to be living at home at 30.

Haha, awfully apt and on point.

The free will bit though, that doesn't help people who don't get it. Until the idea of "I, the doer/mover/thinker/feeler/haver" is broken, your claims go in one ear and out the other.

 

[Relix]

I'm mooching off my parents? LOL.

LOL.

LOL.

And Jesus wept. You're so caught in your superiority complex you're not able or willing to consider all sides of why someone would stay at home into their thirties.

As to your examples. Hotels exist, bars exist. I've never invited work colleagues over to my house. I have no reason to. If I want to socialise with them, I'll do it in a bar or other social setting. As for my girlfriend, she frequently stays over for weekends. She can't move in because she's currently living at home and helping her mum pay the mortgage, which her mum can't afford alone.

Superiority complex? Perhaps. I am not the one living with my parents .

Yeah because a girl you date you are gonna take every night to a hotel. Right? Every... Single night. Not only that, it shows the girl you are not responsible and that you cannot take care of yourself. Plus that huge hole in your pocket.

As for your girlfriend.... That's her mother's fault. She should move and rent somewhere else not hold down her daughter. I have a friend in a similar case and thankfully I've gotten him to wake up.... The mortgage is not his responsibility, it's his parents. How is he gonna grow up and even buy a house of his own if he's paying his parents mortgage? Same case as your girlfriend. It's cold, but it's how life works.

 

[finalflame]

Man this thread is a riot.

Seriously. People trying to justify still living with mommy and daddy into their thirties is a healthy mixture of hilarious and sad.

I tried to take the thread seriously at first, but what it has devolved into is beyond discussion, really. There are no "merits" of being an overgrown child still living at home into adulthood. If it's THAT hard to see the intrinsic value of independence and gaining maturity/freedom by moving out, then it's probably not even worth arguing.

I'm sure those of you making this decision will look back at life and be content with the fact that you spent what are arguably some of the best years of your life (18-30) living at home.

 

[Future]

I didn't feel like I truly grew up until I moved out. If your parents still shelter you at older ages then definitely recommend moving out to make you stronger at being independent. If you live with family but are actually kind of the head of the household (pay all the bills, generally make shit happen) then that advice doesn't apply to you.

There is just some shit you will not experience if you aren't the one doing it all. It's like the difference in driving a car alone versus having the instructor or parent in the other seat. There IS a difference there that is hard to see until you are out there alone.

I'd send my kids out at 18 if I could. 23 or so at the latest

 

[QuicheFontaine]

So to everyone who moved out at 18 or thereabouts. If you have kids, will you expect them to move out at 18 too? regardless of the reality of the situation they'll face with increasing rents, fewer jobs that pay less and generally less opportunities than we have right now?

Yes. I will consider myself to have earned a break after 18 years.

If it all turns to shit they will of course be able to come back, but I'm going to make it clear that they need to go out into the world and try.

I don't see any reason to just assume at this point that they will have "generally less opportunities" either tbh. I don't have a crystal ball, but I'm an optimist.

 

[DOWN]

My heart goes out to OP's parents.

 

[LyleLanley]

Living alone generally isn't affordable unless you're rolling in the riches.

Go live with roommates then, it'll still be a big step up from living with your parents into your thirties.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Superiority complex? Perhaps. I am not the one living with my parents .

Yeah because a girl you date you are gonna take every night to a hotel. Right? Every... Single night. Not only that, it shows the girl you are not responsible and that you cannot take care of yourself. Plus that huge hole in your pocket.

As for your girlfriend.... That's her mother's fault. She should move and rent somewhere else not hold down her daughter. I have a friend in a similar case and thankfully I've gotten him to wake up.... The mortgage is not his responsibility, it's his parents. How is he gonna grow up and even buy a house of his own if he's paying his parents mortgage? Same case as your girlfriend. It's cold, but it's how life works.

LOL.

Okay, to stop this. As I mentioned earlier, my parents are dead. They have been for quite some time. The only family I have are my aunt and uncle and they left me to my own devices when I hit 21. So yeah, while I had my aunt and uncle, I've technically be alone for nearly close to two decades.

If the woman you're dating is so into that she's willing to spend every night with you, she'll be open minded enough to understand your reasons for why you're still at home. She'll likely be in a similar situation and if she isn't and has her own place, it's a non issue.

Yes, it's my girlfriends mothers fault her husband died from a heart attack. The inconsiderate bastard. How dare my girlfriend show empathy for the woman who gave birth to her and raised her to be the awesome woman she is and try to repay it in whatever she can.

The gall. The sheer fucking nerve of this woman. I should break up with her pathetic arse right now.

 

[Future]

Living alone generally isn't affordable unless you're rolling in the riches.

Often untrue. I moved out at 10 bucks an hour. Eat efficiently. Manage your debt. Get roommates

 

[Carlisle]

Just go for it man. Sometimes you can't just wait around for the right time to make a move. There will always be a reason to not do it, another reason to push back the goal posts. I don't make enough, I can't find a roommate, it's too cold to move in the winter, too hot to move in the summer, I'm trying to find a new job and don't know where I'll be, I'm working on a big project and don't have time to think about moving. Sometimes you just gotta go for it and make the most of it. If you fail, you still have your parents nearby where you can go back and regroup. You won't always have that safety net so take your chances while you can.

When I first moved out, I was super hesitant about affording it. I ran the numbers and was falling short by a substantial amount... something like I needed to be bringing in double what I was at the time to afford it. But I really needed to go, my commute was 1.5 hours each way and I had to get a place in the city before I lost my mind.

I convinced myself I could live with a lower entertainment budget and just bit the bullet. Immediately I found that I was dramatically overestimating how much money I needed to live on. It was so much simpler than I had been planning and life turned out to be much more flexible regarding what I spent on different things than I imagined. Yeah some things were tighter than others here and there and from month to month, but all in all it worked out great. You can make it work, one way or the other. Just dive in and do what you have to do to make it happen.

 

[Tesseract]

i can't imagine the type of personality that kicks their kids out at 18

it's kinda gross

like, my brain can't handle it

 

[Relix]

LOL.

Okay, to stop this. As I mentioned earlier, my parents are dead. They have been for quite some time. The only family I have are my aunt and uncle and they left me to my own devices when I hit 21. So yeah, while I had my aunt and uncle, I've technically be alone for nearly close to two decades.

If the woman you're dating is so into that she's willing to spend every night with you, she'll be open minded enough to understand your reasons for why you're still at home. She'll likely be in a similar situation and if she isn't and has her own place, it's a non issue.

Yes, it's my girlfriends mothers fault her husband died from a heart attack. The inconsiderate bastard. How dare my girlfriend show empathy for the woman who gave birth to her and raised her to be the awesome woman she is and try to repay it in whatever she can.

The gall. The sheer fucking nerve of this woman. I should break up with her pathetic arse right now.

So, if you've been alone for so long... You know the benefits of living alone. I am gonna take it that you don't live under your uncle's roof (because in that case, yeah move out). For dating? Yeah I can agree if you do find a worthwhile woman. If you are into quick dating or anything remote to that it will be a turn off.

Now let me get his clear, My girlfriend lives with her parents ever since I moved far away for a new a job opportunity, maybe a 2 hour drive or more. I get it. It's good to take care of your parents, but they made their own life. Shit happens, sadly the father died. The girl cannot take care of the whole house forever, she will never move on. It's cruel but her mother needs to move on and get somewhere either cheaper or rented.

 

[SMOK3Y]

Anyone else in their late 20's or early 30's that has never moved out?

I moved out when I was 14

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Yes. I will consider myself to have earned a break after 18 years.

If it all turns to shit they will of course be able to come back, but I'm going to make it clear that they need to go out into the world and try.

I don't see any reason to just assume at this point that they will have "generally less opportunities" either tbh. I don't have a crystal ball, but I'm an optimist.

So having children is a burden that you deserve a break from? Why even bother having any if that's how you view having children?

 

[Dusk Soldier]

Often untrue. I moved out at 10 bucks an hour. Eat efficiently. Manage your debt. Get roommates

If you have roommates, you're not alone.

 

[LyleLanley]

i can't imagine the type of personality that kicks their kids out at 18

it's kinda gross

like, my brain can't handle it

Calling it "kicking out" makes it sound worse than it actually is. Parent's aren't neglecting their kids nor are they cutting them off necessarily. They're just telling them to get out and start living their own lives.

If you have roommates, you're not alone.

Living with roommates is a lot different from living with your parents.

So having children is a burden that you deserve a break from? Why even bother having any if that's how you view having children?

It's about more than just relieving yourself of a burden. But beyond that, is there no limit to how long you think a child should live with their parents? Should a financially stable forty five year old man live with his healthy parents just because it technically makes more financial sense to do so?

 

[John Kowalski]

Seriously. People trying to justify still living with mommy and daddy into their thirties is a healthy mixture of hilarious and sad.

I tried to take the thread seriously at first, but what it has devolved into is beyond discussion, really. There are no "merits" of being an overgrown child still living at home into adulthood. If it's THAT hard to see the intrinsic value of independence and gaining maturity/freedom by moving out, then it's probably not even worth arguing.

I'm sure those of you making this decision will look back at life and be content with the fact that you spent what are arguably some of the best years of your life (18-30) living at home.

Uh, that's not what i was talking about really. Just the overall myopia. Any one person trying to discern someone's character on whether they live close or with their parents is being incredibly silly. You can live close to or with your parents and still be a capable individual with every skill to live on your own, i had friends in high school who could run their whole home if necessary, and we would often vacation halfway across the country for weeks completely alone in the tiniest town possible, and the majority of them are still living with their parents at 25. There are so many different situations people find themselves in all over the world, from where they live, to their culture, to the nature of their careers, like come on.

 

[Wreav]

So having children is a burden that you deserve a break from? Why even bother having any if that's how you view having children?

This is the most ridiculous post in this thread.

Moving out is a part of growing up.

 

[QuicheFontaine]

So having children is a burden that you deserve a break from?

Well, yes. I think by any objective measure looking after kids is work. You've got to cook for them, clean for them, buy them shit. It doesn't look like a cakewalk by any means.

But when they're 18 years old, they can do all that themselves. And I think they should! Yeesh, I already said they can come back if it doesn't work out - but I at least want them to give it a try.

Why even bother having any if that's how you view having children?

Because I think having kids is a big part of life. I want to experience that, and I'm sure I'll love the heck out of the little buggers. But I'm not going to keep looking after them when they're full grown adults, they can do that themselves at that point.

I've seen it with some friends of mine. They don't move out - they never grow up. And they often seem unhappy and unfulfilled. That's precisely what I don't want to happen to my kids.

 

[finalflame]

Uh, that's not what i was talking about really. Just the overall myopia. Any one person trying to discern someone's character on whether they live close or with their parents is being incredibly silly. You can live close to or with your parents and still be a capable individual with every skill to live on your own, i had friends in high school who could run their whole home if necessary, and we would often vacation halfway across the country for weeks completely alone in the tiniest town possible, and the majority of them are still living with their parents at 25. There are so many different situations people find themselves in all over the world, from where they live, to their culture, to the nature of their careers, like come on.

My personal opinion is still that living with your parents into your 20s is juvenile and a cop-out from living a real life of your own. I understand the cultural context of why people stay at home varies, but my opinion stays the same.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

So, if you've been alone for so long... You know the benefits of living alone. I am gonna take it that you don't live under your uncle's roof (because in that case, yeah move out). For dating? Yeah I can agree if you do find a worthwhile woman. If you are into quick dating or anything remote to that it will be a turn off.

Now let me get his clear, My girlfriend lives with her parents ever since I moved far away for a new a job opportunity, maybe a 2 hour drive or more. I get it. It's good to take care of your parents, but they made their own life. Shit happens, sadly the father died. The girl cannot take care of the whole house forever, she will never move on. It's cruel but her mother needs to move on and get somewhere either cheaper or rented.

The few benefits aren't particularly great after a while. You're really overstating them.

She's not taking care of the whole house. The mother works but my girlfriend, being the awesome person she is, is staying at home and helping her pay the mortgage so it's paid off sooner and she can leave knowing her mother is secure in that house and not have to worry about her struggling when she's not there.

There's also the added benefit of her mum actually owning the home and being able to pass it down to her when she passes away. She's smart enough to know that this is really the best option she has for home ownership in London.

So yeah, be selfish or be intelligent. Be an adult or approach this with an almost child-like mentality of why should I...

 

[Instro]

I moved out last year(was 25). My girlfriend and I bought a house together, butnup until that point we had been living with our respective parents saving. I see no reason to rush though if it doesn't make financial sense at the moment.

 

[Unai]

I remember when I was a kid it was weird watching movies or cartoons of Superman and Spider-Man and see them leaving their old mother / aunt alone and moving out. I only understood that was a North America thing later on.

Edit: Also, the concept of paying rent for you parents if kind of alien to me. I don't think I have never seem anyone I know IRL do that.

 

[xxracerxx]

i can't imagine the type of personality that kicks their kids out at 18

it's kinda gross

like, my brain can't handle it

It isn't kicking them out, a parent would hope that their kid is responsible/mature enough to move on to the next part of their life (college, job, etc) and that they don't feel like they need to live with you anymore.

 

[John Kowalski]

My personal opinion is still that living with your parents into your 20s is juvenile and a cop-out from living a real life of your own. I understand the cultural context of why people stay at home varies, but my opinion stays the same.

Well it goes to demonstrate your priorities i guess.

 

[CrocMother]

I remember when I was a kid it was weird watching movies or cartoons of Superman and Spider-Man and see them leaving their old mother / aunt alone and moving out. I only understood that was a North America thing later on.

It's a first world privilege for those whose families have wealth.

 

[Relix]

The few benefits aren't particularly great after a while. You're really overstating them.

She's not taking care of the whole house. The mother works but my girlfriend, being the awesome person she is, is staying at home and helping her pay the mortgage so it's paid off sooner and she can leave knowing her mother is secure in that house and not have to worry about her struggling when she's not there.

There's also the added benefit of her mum actually owning the home and being able to pass it down to her when she passes away. She's smart enough to know that this is really the best option she has for home ownership in London.

So yeah, be selfish or be intelligent. Be an adult or approach this with an almost child-like mentality of why should I...

In that sense I'd agree if the mortgage gas maybe... 10 years or so? Anything more will be problematic for the relation. See, I guess you guys wanna grow as partners, staying in separate places can and will hinder that. Maybe she can stay with you and help her mother pay the mortgage? Basically paying for the house she will own in a decade or two. It's the smarter option for sure, and this case I'd consider different from some of the ones I've read in this thread which ooze completely opposite Thing.

 

[NeonBlack]

From reading some of these posts I'm seeing financial stability is not a high priority for some.

 

[finalflame]

Well it goes to demonstrate your priorities i guess.

I suppose I very heavily prioritize freedom and independence, and always have. I still support and visit my parents regularly, talk with them on the phone daily, and on occasion help them financially. But all-in-all, I cannot imagine a life where I did not move out and do my own thing at 18.

Perhaps my wording is harsh, but I think people who have chosen to stay at home without ever even giving moving out a shot would do good in at least trying it. At least for 1-2 years of college, and try to embrace it. If it's not for you, or if you have special circumstances that require you to stay at home, sure. But just accepting a life of being sheltered and at home from birth-30+ seems misguided.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

It's about more than just relieving yourself of a burden. But beyond that, is there no limit to how long you think a child should live with their parents? Should a financially stable forty five year old man live with his healthy parents just because it technically makes more financial sense to do so?

A financially stable forty five year old man doesn't have any reason to. He's at a point where he can leave but is choosing not to. That's different from a late twenties/early thirties person struggling and staying at home to save.

This is the most ridiculous post in this thread.

Moving out is a part of growing up.

According to who? You can't grow up while still staying at home?

Well, yes. I think by any objective measure looking after kids is work. You've got to cook for them, clean for them, buy them shit. It doesn't look like a cakewalk by any means.

But when they're 18 years old, they can do all that themselves. And I think they should! Yeesh, I already said they can come back if it doesn't work out - but I at least want them to give it a try.


Because I think having kids is a big part of life. I want to experience that, and I'm sure I'll love the heck out of the little buggers. But I'm not going to keep looking after them when they're full grown adults, they can do that themselves at that point.

I've seen it with some friends of mine. They don't move out - they never grow up. And they often seem unhappy and unfulfilled. That's precisely what I don't want to happen to my kids.

So wouldn't you agree the more sensible approach would be to sit them down when they reach 18 and tell them they can stay at home and use this opportunity to set themselves up for a stable future? Use the opportunity to save so they aren't just throwing money away renting some garbage little box that likely isn't even up to code.

Why expect them to leave at 18 and give the option to return when you could just tell them to stay at home for a while longer and use the time to save. And you're right, they can do that by themselves much sooner than 18, so again, them staying at home isn't so much about you looking after them, but allowing them the opportunity to establish a better future for themselves.

Leaving and returning in failure is going to do more damage than staying at home for a few more years and not having to return.

 

[Dusk Soldier]

Living with roommates is a lot different from living with your parents.

Living with roommates isn't really better or worse than living with parents.

It really just boils down to who you are as a person, and who you're living with.

Not everyone is coddled by their parents. And not all roommates have their shit together.

You don't need to move out of your parent's house to learn how to cook, clean, do laundry, and pay bills.

Honestly you should already feel comfortable doing that stuff when you turn 18 regardless.

 

[xxracerxx]

From reading some of these posts I'm seeing financial stability is not a high priority for some.

Umm...you can have both, it isn't a hard line between financial stability and moving out.

 

[Unai]

It's a first world privilege for those whose families have wealth.

I don't know. Reading this thread (and others) it seems that leaving your house as soon as possible is a thing for almost everyone there, not just for the wealthy.

 

[finalflame]

It's a first world privilege for those whose families have wealth.

It definitely does not require wealth. My entire family is basically dirt poor (a smidgeon above welfare, lower middle class), and I moved out as soon as I graduated high school. Hard work and a full ride to my state school allowed that to happen, but I could've also done it on work+school, like a lot of people do.

 

[NeonBlack]

Umm...you can have both, it isn't a hard line between financial stability and moving out.

Well some posters want the kid out the house before 20, period. Education can be pricey and depending on where you live it may not be wise to try and go out on your own.

 

[CrocMother]

It definitely does not require wealth. My entire family is basically dirt poor (a smidgeon above welfare, lower middle class), and I moved out as soon as I graduated high school. Hard work and a full ride to my state school allowed that to happen, but I could've also done it on work+school, like a lot of people do.

Lower middle class in America is rich by world standards. If your family doesn't rely on your income to support themselves, consider yourself privileged.

 

[Relix]

Chiming on the age to leave the house... I don't want kids but if I had some I'd honestly wait for them to finish their bachelor's at the maximum if so they desire or need, but if they wanna leave before the merrier I guess.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

In that sense I'd agree if the mortgage gas maybe... 10 years or so? Anything more will be problematic for the relation. See, I guess you guys wanna grow as partners, staying in separate places can and will hinder that. Maybe she can stay with you and help her mother pay the mortgage? Basically paying for the house she will own in a decade or two. It's the smarter option for sure, and this case I'd consider different from some of the ones I've read in this thread which ooze completely opposite Thing.

Should be paid off in just under five years if everything stays the same as it is now.

And yeah, we've talked about her moving in and just paying the mortgage, which is why we're doing the weekend thing. She comes down Friday night and stays until Monday. It's going well and this might end with her moving in permanently and just paying the mortgage, but I'm not going to push this. Her mum is very important to her and I'm not going to give some silly ultimatum. We're happy with how things are and the way she's looking after her mum tells me a lot about the kind of person she is.

 

[Future]

Living with roommates isn't really better or worse than living with parents.

It really just boils down to who you are as a person, and who you're living with.

Not everyone is coddled by their parents. And not all roommates have their shit together.

You don't need to move out of your parent's house to learn how to cook, clean, do laundry, and pay bills.

Honestly you should already feel comfortable doing that stuff when you turn 18 regardless.

How many people do you really think are comfortable with that at 18.

Moving out forces it and requires the change. That's the benefit. There is obviously the chance that you have all these experiences without leaving.... My wife did. She took care of her mom, chose what apartments to move into, and paid all the bills. She might as well been living with a roommate. Even then I saw a breakdown when she was sick for the first time away from her home and had to get adjusted to not being coddled by her mom

But for people where that is the reverse: parents still in "control" of most things, create all the rules, hand out money, get most of the food.... That's the pattern I think should break as early as possible in young adulthood. There is no one size fits all solution for this stuff, but man there are a lot of benefits in gaining independence

 

[digitalrelic]

So having children is a burden that you deserve a break from? Why even bother having any if that's how you view having children?

This person clearly doesn't have children. Anyone who thinks children aren't a burden at times is not a parent.

 

[finalflame]

Lower middle class in America is rich by world standards. If your family doesn't rely on your income to support themselves, consider yourself privileged.

How many people in this thread that say they are still living at home do you honestly believe are poor by world standards?

I understand that american lower middle class is rich by world standards, but that is absolutely not the context of this discussion.

 

[Unknown Soldier]

Living alone generally isn't affordable unless you're rolling in the riches.

LOL OK

TIL on GAF you need to be rich to live alone

 

[Relix]

Should be paid off in just under five years if everything stays the same as it is now.

And yeah, we've talked about her moving in and just paying the mortgage, which is why we're doing the weekend thing. She comes down Friday night and stays until Monday. It's going well and this might end with her moving in permanently and just paying the mortgage, but I'm not going to push this. Her mum is very important to her and I'm not going to give some silly ultimatum. We're happy with how things are and the way she's looking after her mum tells me a lot about the kind of person she is.

That works, I do the same with my girl although the mortgage is paid off in that case . It's just she hasn't been able to find a job close to where I am right now. Still, that's the smart choice so, good decision.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

But for people where that is the reverse: parents still in "control" of most things, create all the rules, hand out money, get most of the food.... That's the pattern I think should break as early as possible in young adulthood. There is no one size fits all solution for this stuff, but man there are a lot of benefits in gaining independence

No-one past the age of 13 should be in this position. Anyone in their twenties or thirties in this position...well damn.

This person clearly doesn't have children. Anyone who thinks children aren't a burden at times is not a parent.

Yes, I don't have children. So what? I don't believe children should be viewed as a burden. It's not like someone forced you to have them. You chose to have them so why approach it as something that's a burden?

 

[Ogodei]

My personal opinion is still that living with your parents into your 20s is juvenile and a cop-out from living a real life of your own. I understand the cultural context of why people stay at home varies, but my opinion stays the same.

It depends on your economic situation. I was at home for 20 months out of college because i was either unemployed or making poverty wages when i was (even the full-time job i had briefly in that period was $12 something an hour, and that was including a shift differential). Most of my high school acquaintances only moved out of their parents' place when they moved away for work in another place or if they got married.

 

[Mupod]

i can't imagine the type of personality that kicks their kids out at 18

it's kinda gross

like, my brain can't handle it

wouldn't say I was kicked out either time but it grew increasingly unpleasant to stay there. My parents have NEVER 'kicked out' any of their kids no matter how badly they (and I) may have needed it. But I still felt like shit simply because I knew they wanted me to get out on my own.

I don't think anyone would ever say my parents are bad people. We're not rich, we're a big family and not all of us have had an easy time after high school. When you've got 5 kids, 6 counting my cousin who stayed with us most of her life, and no financial means to support everyone forever (my dad retired years ago), what do you do? It's more surprising that they didn't kick anyone out, but if we hadn't all done our best to get out on our own (or move in with SOs) it would not have been pretty.

But even though I kind of rushed myself out the door I don't regret it. I've got a friend (only child) who makes more than me, lives with his well-off parents in a place where housing is quite cheap and has no intention of leaving because that's where he's comfortable and he doesn't think he would gain anything by moving out. That's insane to me and it's sounding like it's what some here are doing. I've got plenty of sympathy for those trapped in their situation but if you've got the power to live independently why wouldn't you? I'm seeing a lot of excuses and justifications but independence really is something people should experience.