Is refusing to date people of certain races racist?

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If I hear one more defense about "preferences" my god.

I prefer Coke to Pepsi but I still like cola. Now sure, you can like cola but not like Pepsi, but when applying these "preferences" to entire races, there is just suuuuuuuuuch a wide variety of people, combinations, and appearances that such an absolute statement is incredibly suspect.

What is it about a [fill in the blank here] person you find unattractive? Just ask yourselves that.
 
Doc_Drop said:
I think you need to have a think about your attitude, language, and general outlook because you sound creepy as fuck
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You missed Z..'s creepier post haha
Z.. said:
Like I stated, I find most people that I see attractive. I do mean that, on the average train ride to work I'd fuck 3 out of every 5 people I see, if I could. I like ordinary looking men and women. Not just ones I'm frequently exposed to, either, I find alot of cultures I have barely any contact with at all very attractive despite barely having interacted with them. I was in the Philippines for 3 months and I saw maybe 3 or 4 people I found attractive that whole time. Clearly, I'm biased against Pinoy as far as attraction goes.
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FUME5 said:
Having preferences is one thing, outright refusing to date anyone of a certain race is another thing entirely.

And that thing is racist.
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This covers it.

I've never met a race of people that weren't attractive. We basically all look similar enough that it seems strange to block an entire race off.
 
Izuna said:
They racist.

Next.
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Ahh yes family. My racist dad tried that same bs with me. I let him know in no small terms that I'm the one that has to wake up every morning to the person I choose. That if it came down to it I would side with my wife and if he ever wants to see me or any grandchildren he will keep his bigoted views to himself.

We came to an understanding.
 
cpp_is_king said:
I’ve always interpreted “racism” to mean a broad overarching sense of superiority/disdain against a certain race. There’s a difference between “Indian people smell bad” and “i hate Indian people and the mere sight of one enrages me”

They are both biases, but I would argue only the second one should be called racism
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No, this is false. This is a common issue with racism. Many people follow the view that you have of racism. And when they are challenged on a particular view they have that is likely racist they internally ask themselves “Am I being racist?” And all they really do is see how they are not as bad as KKK member and promptly pat themselves on the back for clearly not being racist.

You don’t have to hate somebody of a certain race to be racist. And saying black people are unattractive is making a clear superiority/inferiority claim based on race.
 
Z.. said:
Not sure it's a racially motivated fetishism with her... guys are mostly casual affairs for her so she goes black because she's a self professed size queen and the odds are usually better. She is known to have engaged with males of other races if she is aware of them packing a wallop.
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I'd say that's a textbook example of racially motivated fetishism/exoticism.
 
cpp_is_king said:
I’ve always interpreted “racism” to mean a broad overarching sense of superiority/disdain against a certain race. There’s a difference between “Indian people smell bad” and “i hate Indian people and the mere sight of one enrages me”

They are both biases, but I would argue only the second one should be called racism
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You're denigrating indians for how they smell, based on I don't know even what stereotypical generalization? That indians eat curry or something, so they smell bad? They're both racist statements.
 
cpp_is_king said:
I've always interpreted "racism" to mean a broad overarching sense of superiority/disdain against a certain race. There's a difference between "Indian people smell bad" and "i hate Indian people and the mere sight of one enrages me"

They are both biases, but I would argue only the second one should be called racism
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... I would certainly argue that "Indian people smell bad" is incredibly overt racism. Indian people don't have a "smell" intrinsic to their physiology.
 
I'm mixed race, mostly white, but enough brown to look more "ethnic" than white. Had a white girl who I dated for a bit tell me that we could never have a furore because her family would never "accept" me.

Also, I've seen an alarming number of people willie online dating who state that they prefer to date within their race. That preference isn't as predominant in the city as it is in the suburbs and rural areas, but it's there and its more than you would think.

Saw a stat that more than twice as many women prefer to date within their own race than men.
 
Sanctioning your type by race is not realistic for anyone unless they actually harbor racist feelings toward certain groups. There are too many fucking people on this planet, so being like “I’m not into black guys haha” is an implication that you’ve made that decision based on stereotypes and blanket assumptions about a whole race of people, and that’s the problem.

If you really insist on not being attracted to someone based on their race, then you need to take a look at why you decided to separate attractiveness based on race and not other categories. I refuse to believe that you’re unable to be attracted to a single person from a given race. It’s not possible unless you’re deliberately choosing not to.
 
When you are on the receiving end of comments like that and realize the gamut of emotions that comes afterwards you'd see the impact of discriminatory offenses more clearly.

"I don't like [race] [gender], but I'd date you":

- mild shock
- mild anger
- whats this, flattery?
- disgust in self at previous thought
- contemplating attempt at pointing out issues with said statement
- deciding not to due to various reasons (confrontation, possible victim complexes, etc)
- think about it for a few hours afterwards
 
"OF COOOOOOURSE!!!" -Cenk Uygur

Many opportunities blew up in my face because of this. Had a former friend tell me his reason for not dating a latina back in the day "I wan't my kids to look like me." lol.
 
Messofanego said:
You're denigrating indians for how they smell, based on I don't know even what stereotypical generalization? That indians eat curry or something, so they smell bad? They're both racist statements.
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It’s a pretty common stereotype. The fact that i used it as an example does not imply i share the belief. I had a college professor once who on the first dsy of class saw 80% indians and said “man, I hope you all shower and wear deodorant”. Just google it, it’s a pervasive stereotype, and while I think it’s harmful, i think it’s *less* harmful than just outright hatred.

In any case, this seems like a philosophical discussion. I think the severity of the word should accurately reflect the severity of the situation it is applied to. Maybe I just prefer to pick my battles and focus on the things I think we as a society can actually make headway on. I think we can make progress on viewing one group of people as subhuman, or not worthy of the same opportunities, as “not belonging” or being welcome, and that sort of thing.
 
cpp_is_king said:
It’s a pretty common stereotype. The fact that i used it as an example does not imply i share the belief. I had a college professor once who on the first dsy of class saw 80% indians and said “man, I hope you all shower and wear deodorant”. Just google it, it’s a pervasive stereotype, and while I think it’s harmful, i think it’s *less* harmful than just outright hatred.

In any case, this seems like a philosophical discussion. I think the severity of the word should accurately reflect the severity of the situation it is applied to. Maybe I just prefer to pick my battles and focus on the things I think we as a society can actually make headway on. I think we can make progress on viewing one group of people as subhuman, or not worthy of the same opportunities, as “not belonging” or being welcome, and that sort of thing.
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That professor is a racist then.
 
Well it is.

I mean I never dated a black girl in Germany, but I did date a variation of women from different countries races. I gotta say black women are not my type but I wouldn't refuse it if she is a decent woman I could see a future with. Either way I'm married to a Japanese, so it's not something I actually think about. lol
 
cpp_is_king said:
It’s a pretty common stereotype. The fact that i used it as an example does not imply i share the belief. I had a college professor once who on the first dsy of class saw 80% indians and said “man, I hope you all shower and wear deodorant”. Just google it, it’s a pervasive stereotype, and while I think it’s harmful, i think it’s *less* harmful than just outright hatred.

In any case, this seems like a philosophical discussion. I think the severity of the word should accurately reflect the severity of the situation it is applied to. Maybe I just prefer to pick my battles and focus on the things I think we as a society can actually make headway on. I think we can make progress on viewing one group of people as subhuman, or not worthy of the same opportunities, as “not belonging” or being welcome, and that sort of thing.
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It's a racist stereotype. I can't even see how you can argue it's not racism to say "indians smell bad". Both of the statements are harmful, who cares if one is less bad when they're both like really bad? You can harm people emotionally, psychologically, financially, and other ways than just violently.
 
Messofanego said:
It's a racist stereotype. I can't even see how you can argue it's not racism to say "indians smell bad". Both of the statements are harmful, who cares if one is less bad when they're both like really bad? You can harm people emotionally, psychologically, financially, and other ways than just violently.
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Because one is an existential threat to a society’s overall well being, and the other is “merely” obnoxious.

That doesn’t mean they aren’t both bad, it just means one deserves a stronger reaction than the other
 
cpp_is_king said:
It’s a pretty common stereotype. The fact that i used it as an example does not imply i share the belief. I had a college professor once who on the first dsy of class saw 80% indians and said “man, I hope you all shower and wear deodorant”. Just google it, it’s a pervasive stereotype, and while I think it’s harmful, i think it’s *less* harmful than just outright hatred.

In any case, this seems like a philosophical discussion. I think the severity of the word should accurately reflect the severity of the situation it is applied to. Maybe I just prefer to pick my battles and focus on the things I think we as a society can actually make headway on. I think we can make progress on viewing one group of people as subhuman, or not worthy of the same opportunities, as “not belonging” or being welcome, and that sort of thing.
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I'm really struggling to see how this is not a horribly racist comment.
 
I have a question for you guys. Yes refusing to date people of a particular race is indeed racist without a doubt, but what about when people say either:

1) They are open to dating people from any race but for the most part they are generally more attracted to people from a particular race X or generally or less attracted to people from a particular race Y.

2) They are open to dating people from any race but haven't met anyone in person from a particular race Y that they've been attracted to yet. But also acknowledge that there are plenty of celebrities/famous people (people they haven't met) from race Y who they find attractive.

Is either of these two racist? Because I'm pretty sure I fall in the number 2 and if that's racist then maybe I need to introspect.
 
Llyranor said:
Don't forget Asian men!
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From what i hear they have it the worst. Like people don't even consider that racist or something.

I think it would be foolish to say we all have to be atracted to everyone. But lets remain openminded and find out when the opportunity is there.
 
nOoblet16 said:
I have a question for you guys. Yes refusing to date people of a particular race is indeed racist without a doubt, but what about when people say either:

1) They are open to dating people from any race but for the most part they are generally more attracted to people from a particular race X or generally or less attracted to people from a particular race Y.

2) They are open to dating people from any race but haven't met anyone in person from a particular race Y that they've been attracted to yet. But also acknowledge that there are plenty of celebrities/famous people (people they haven't met) from race Y who they find attractive.

Is either of these two racist? Because I'm pretty sure I fall in the number 2 and if that's racist then maybe I need to introspect.
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Not really. We're pretty specific to what we find attractive. From eyes, to body shape, smell, voice, etc. And we're used to what we grow up with.
But the key point is being openminded and not excluding people on forehand
 
cpp_is_king said:
Because one is an existential threat to a society’s overall well being, and the other is “merely” obnoxious.

That doesn’t mean they aren’t both bad, it just means one deserves a stronger reaction than the other
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Racism has nothing to do with severity. But sure, keep pushing the needle back on what constitutes "real racism" and see what happens.
 
It's morning and this thread is still going?
I wonder w...

Z.. said:
Not sure it's a racially motivated fetishism with her... guys are mostly casual affairs for her so she goes black because she's a self professed size queen and the odds are usually better.
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cpp_is_king said:
I had a college professor once who on the first dsy of class saw 80% indians and said "man, I hope you all shower and wear deodorant".
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...Oh.
 
Messofanego said:
How is it not racist, though?
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Because my definition of “racism” does not include an exhaustive list of every possible racial bias, only the ones that are a serious threat to society’s well being.

Severity matters, otherwise you inadvertently make it more difficult to address the severe cases because you’ve diluted the word to include the less severe cases
 
cpp_is_king said:
It’s a pretty common stereotype. The fact that i used it as an example does not imply i share the belief. I had a college professor once who on the first dsy of class saw 80% indians and said “man, I hope you all shower and wear deodorant”. Just google it, it’s a pervasive stereotype, and while I think it’s harmful, i think it’s *less* harmful than just outright hatred.

In any case, this seems like a philosophical discussion. I think the severity of the word should accurately reflect the severity of the situation it is applied to. Maybe I just prefer to pick my battles and focus on the things I think we as a society can actually make headway on. I think we can make progress on viewing one group of people as subhuman, or not worthy of the same opportunities, as “not belonging” or being welcome, and that sort of thing.
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If it's a common stereotype it is both common and racist as shit, those aren't exclusive categories. This isn't philosophical hair-splitting. Do you really think "They all smell bad" is a kind of racism that doesn't affect people "being welcome" or having opportunities like getting hired? If a professor told a hilarious joke like that about your own ethnicity, would you feel comfortable going to them for mentoring?
 
cpp_is_king said:
I've always interpreted "racism" to mean a broad overarching sense of superiority/disdain against a certain race. There's a difference between "Indian people smell bad" and "i hate Indian people and the mere sight of one enrages me"

They are both biases, but I would argue only the second one should be called racism
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cpp_is_king said:
Because my definition of "racism" does not include an exhaustive list of every possible racial bias, only the ones that are a serious threat to society's well being
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But your definition is wrong, so...
 
cpp_is_king said:
It’s a pretty common stereotype. The fact that i used it as an example does not imply i share the belief. I had a college professor once who on the first dsy of class saw 80% indians and said “man, I hope you all shower and wear deodorant”. Just google it, it’s a pervasive stereotype, and while I think it’s harmful, i think it’s *less* harmful than just outright hatred.

In any case, this seems like a philosophical discussion. I think the severity of the word should accurately reflect the severity of the situation it is applied to. Maybe I just prefer to pick my battles and focus on the things I think we as a society can actually make headway on. I think we can make progress on viewing one group of people as subhuman, or not worthy of the same opportunities, as “not belonging” or being welcome, and that sort of thing.
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This post is confusing. Wouldn't challenging your professors racist comment be an easy battle to pick and actually change unlike racism that is bigger in scale. Aren't stereotypes making people more subhuman and making them feel unwelcome.
 
Royce McCutcheon said:
Life ain't simple like that man. I never understood how y'all could speak so freely of cutting off your family. Don't you love your family? I can't imagine a scenario where my mother isn't in my life, definitely won't be over who I marry. This ain't immediate family only, it's the whole tree. If I cut off my mama to marry a white girl, I would have uncle's, brothers, and cousins ready to stomp me. It's disrespectful.
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What’s disrespectful is family members trying to control who you date. My family could fuck off if they tried to tell me not do date who I’m dating now (an arab Muslim woman), cuz they aren’t the ones dating her.
 
cpp_is_king said:
I’ve always interpreted “racism” to mean a broad overarching sense of superiority/disdain against a certain race. There’s a difference between “Indian people smell bad” and “i hate Indian people and the mere sight of one enrages me”

They are both biases, but I would argue only the second one should be called racism
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That's very racist. Wtf are you talking about?
 
cpp_is_king said:
Because one is an existential threat to a society’s overall well being, and the other is “merely” obnoxious.

That doesn’t mean they aren’t both bad, it just means one deserves a stronger reaction than the other
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You’re basically saying “but guys, these kind of racial biases isn’t as bad as being a racist that thinks people of race X should be killed off.” It is a distinction that has no significance in this context.
 
cpp_is_king said:
Because my definition of “racism” does not include an exhaustive list of every possible racial bias, only the ones that are a serious threat to society’s well being.

Severity matters, otherwise you inadvertently make it more difficult to address the severe cases because you’ve diluted the word to include the less severe cases
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That’s not how definitions work. You don’t get to pick your own.
 
cpp_is_king said:
Because my definition of “racism” does not include an exhaustive list of every possible racial bias, only the ones that are a serious threat to society’s well being.

Severity matters, otherwise you inadvertently make it more difficult to address the severe cases because you’ve diluted the word to include the less severe cases
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Your defenition of racism is racist.
 
cpp_is_king said:
It’s a pretty common stereotype. The fact that i used it as an example does not imply i share the belief. I had a college professor once who on the first dsy of class saw 80% indians and said “man, I hope you all shower and wear deodorant”. Just google it, it’s a pervasive stereotype, and while I think it’s harmful, i think it’s *less* harmful than just outright hatred.

In any case, this seems like a philosophical discussion. I think the severity of the word should accurately reflect the severity of the situation it is applied to. Maybe I just prefer to pick my battles and focus on the things I think we as a society can actually make headway on. I think we can make progress on viewing one group of people as subhuman, or not worthy of the same opportunities, as “not belonging” or being welcome, and that sort of thing.
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Pretty sure the indians in that class all learned their professor was a racist that day.
 
cpp_is_king said:
Because my definition of "racism" does not include an exhaustive list of every possible racial bias, only the ones that are a serious threat to society's well being.

Severity matters, otherwise you inadvertently make it more difficult to address the severe cases because you've diluted the word to include the less severe cases
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Ah, ok. So you don't care to address the racism in statements like "indians smell bad" because they're not a serious threat as racism to you is only about violence or absolute hatred or something (even though saying indians smell bad is hatred), and if you make "indians smell bad" to be racist then you're trivialising worse kinds of racism...wait wut I'm so confused right now. Why not just address both statements and deem them as racist, rather than ignore one for the other. It shouldn't be mutually exclusive which statement you're bothered by.
 
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