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[Closer]

The genre should be a rhythm based RPG shooter.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

I'm not starting the job until the CEO can guarantee there's ping pong tournaments and free food.

 

[NormalGamer]

I'll be in charge of insulting 60% of our potential customer base online.

 

[Guilty_AI]

I'm closing it down and laying you all off

 

[Plague Doctor]

I'll be in charge of insulting 60% of our potential customer base online.

Better boost those numbers...

If we aren't insulting 70-75% of our potential consumer base, how are we ever going to feel superior to them all?

 

[Unknown?]

Don't care what the gameplay is, we just NEED to have a dedicated pee button. Games aren't realistic unless you can pee when you want.

 

[poppabk]

I just noticed that this is a selfie.

 

[NormalGamer]

Better boost those numbers...

If we aren't insulting 70-75% of our potential consumer base, how are we ever going to feel superior to them all?

You're disagreeing with me?

Sorry y'all. I'm going to be taking some mental health days because I'm not feeling safe and supported at my workplace. HR is going to be doing some mandatory workshops all next week as well.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

Which gaffers want to take up the job doing bullshot video clips and misleading trailers?

 

[TintoConCasera]

Okay dudes, enough is enough. Who's stealing all the breast milk?

 

[DarkShadowXI]

Rogue-like extraction shooter GaaS

…with Beanie Babies.


Call of Beanie |OT| Answer the call. Save the tag.

Only if you guys are tired of not having money.

 

[Generic]

Okay so we need to make an open world game, let's start with The Main character appearance?

Give her a big ass. The game will sell a lot despite the poor level design.

 

[Plague Doctor]

Rogue-like extraction shooter GaaS

…with Beanie Babies.


Call of Beanie |OT| Answer the call. Save the tag.

Only if you guys are tired of not having money.

Hnnnm I notice a frog plays a large role in your concept art.

Could we have a ranidaphobia toggle in the accessibility menu?

What if someone has a fear of frogs? We want to include them.

 

[envyzeal]

Hi guys sorry im late, I've been hooked on monster hunter and had this crazy disruptive idea, you guys can't wait to see it.

I really think we might have something truly special.

Spoiler: and the best thing is

Hulst loves it

 

[TintoConCasera]

Hi guys sorry im late, I've been hooked on monster hunter and had this crazy disruptive idea, you guys can't wait to see it.

I really think we might have something truly special.

Spoiler: and the best thing is

Hulst loves it

The one on the left is going to eat the other two, then proceed to demand another sacrifice.

 

[NormalGamer]

 

[DarkShadowXI]

Hnnnm I notice a frog plays a large role in your concept art.

Could we have a ranidaphobia toggle in the accessibility menu?

What if someone has a fear of frogs? We want to include them.

I'm so glad you mentioned that. Let's include a toggle for each and every animal phobia. That should only push back the project for 3-4 years.

 

[bender]

You are all fired and I'm taking the rest of the remaining money to blow on blackjack and hookers.

 

[Constantringing]

You are all fired and I'm taking the rest of the remaining money to blow on blackjack and hookers.

Good luck spending those 12 bucks I guess

 

[EverydayBeast]

Wallstreet sim

Rainbow Six Vegas 3 might sell a few...

In my mind, Loki from god of war getting his own game I think could point to a few sales...

 

[Deft Beck]

This is the kind of fun thread I'd expect out of old GameFAQs. Carry on!

 

[Signalis]

Any images before we (set) fire you?

This is all I can share

 

[Radical_3d]

I'm just waiting for the guys with the Ryzen 3D and 4090/5090 like OverHeat to buy us, put us to make GaaS because people like Men_in_Boxes told them that that's what is hip now, then close us because the game doesn't generate revenue and people like TintoConCasera and me aren't working and for IbizaPocholo to leak the whole thing to Jason Schreier.

 

[Disco Dave]

 

[Disco Dave]

Which gaffers want to take up the job doing bullshot video clips and misleading trailers?

I've got this. I've studied the art of Bullshito from Sensei Pitchford. He taught me the sacred move "Verticle Slice".

 

[Toots]

I bet the cesspool of iniquitous ideas that is this thread is actually very close to the western 3A studio experience.
As a videogame journalist/insider/brand ambassador/incel neckbeard I'll be sure to write all about it on my blog trying to politicize every gameplay decision you guys make. My goal being to make some out of touch studio head feel so guilty about those non existent offenses they will hire me as a writer even tho i can't write for shit.

 

[Londo]

I won't press a single keyboard key until I see a proper GDD of at least 20-50 pages.

 

[TintoConCasera]

Sorry, can't work today. I'm uh... pregnant.

 

[Ainem Enamas]

According to Gemini this is what we have so far:

A third-person action-RPG/survival horror game set in a shifting, gothic-industrial city. Key mechanics include Souls-like combat, a world-rearranging "Shift" system, and a sanity mechanic affecting the environment. The project features a grimdark aesthetic with diegetic sound design and a focus on environmental storytelling, featuring a customizable agent using both melee and occult technology.

Gratz everyone we made Demon's Souls.

Replace

According to Gemini this is what we have so far:

A third-person action-RPG/survival horror game set in a shifting, gothic-industrial city. Key mechanics include Souls-like combat, a world-rearranging "Shift" system, and a sanity mechanic affecting the environment. The project features a grimdark aesthetic with diegetic sound design and a focus on environmental storytelling, featuring a customizable agent using both melee and occult technology.

Gratz everyone we made Demon's Souls.

This will be our Elden Ring moment i can feel it

 

[Ainem Enamas]

Looks like y'all are doing some good work here.

Unfortunately, as a random exec - You are all being let go as part of structuring and achieving our primary goal:

Increasing value to our shareholders.

Please return your office equipment, lanyards and access badges to security.

k-thnx-bai

Who the fuck let you in??
Edit we need cash manager interested?? We will not pay you Kronark will show your desk

 

[Ainem Enamas]

Where's the tasteful and understated homosexuality?

We are aaaaaallll a bit homosexual here kisses and meet me in the "room" fir a raise

 

[Ainem Enamas]

Can we get a cookbook writer to lead the story?

But that's you
Edit edit contact your cowriter Zacfoldor

 

[Ainem Enamas]

I propose we keep the game in development for as long as possible so we can maintain a steady income. If the game releases and is either a hit or a bomb we would just get laid off anyway.

I like the way you said that got that cashmind so to speak

 

[Ainem Enamas]

I mean, maybe a little bit.

Remember that's Love that's holding us together here

 

[Ainem Enamas]

Al Bundy saving strippers from the Nudy Bar from Marcy in a Beat 'em up.

Would sell billions of copies

Forgot about strippers we will do a whole stripper section in the open world structure

 

[Ainem Enamas]

I think we should make a GAAS game.

I don't understand "should" of course it's gaas

 

[Ainem Enamas]

Kronark is promoted you will get a new desk everybody let's congratulate Kronark doing a fantastic job here we will throw a party to celebrate Kronark

 

[Ainem Enamas]

The genre should be a rhythm based RPG shooter.

You Tenth Marketing manager interested??

 

[Closer]

You Tenth Marketing manager interested??

I do. We gonna go wild pushing this game. Put some chicks dancing to the OST wearing some Marushina clothing and we gonna sell gangbusters.

 

[Wastelander92]

Needs more hair dye.

 

[Bert Big Balls]

Roguelike, metroidvania tower defence with deck building, survival, and shmup elements. Did I nail all the buzzwords, boss?

 

[Hudo]

Engine will be written in C, only one dev branch. Every commit to main. We're testing in production.

 

[Bert Big Balls]

Engine will be written in C, only one dev branch. Every commit to main. We're testing in production.

I don't want a single fucking update pushed unless it's directly to the live game.

 

[Baemono]

My dream game: a Forza-like open-world car sim RPG with turn-based combat

 

[spookyfish]

Sorry, you're all fired. I just tweeted about it and posted on LinkedIn, so ... it's a done deal.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

I jut read 10 last messages, I'm scared to read the rest.

 

[Plague Doctor]

I am excited to announce we have expanded Human Resources by 200%.

Every room will now have a member from HR with them....... just in case you have a concern.

Also, the workplace conduct sessions will continue until morale improves.

 

[Ainem Enamas]

I do. We gonna go wild pushing this game. Put some chicks dancing to the OST wearing some Marushina clothing and we gonna sell gangbusters.

Okay you are now the leader for the project you will have to clean the toilets after work

 

[Ainem Enamas]

Roguelike, metroidvania tower defence with deck building, survival, and shmup elements. Did I nail all the buzzwords, boss?

I'm not the boss i just work here this will make a loooooooot of love in my account

 

[Ainem Enamas]

I'm not starting the job until the CEO can guarantee there's ping pong tournaments and free food.

But you are working here for 2 years now, i understand the confusion we started operate like a month ago
Edit you feed us your Family (free food are you fucking nuts??)