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[BoobPhysics101]

Weighed myself today. I've lost 15 pounds since being dumped. Yeah, this can't be healthy.

Nah, you're just making an effort to look even better so you can go out and really impress the ladies. I hope. :\

Man, I'm clueless and even more fucking confused. On the one hand, I feel like I should be more proactive in trying to find girlfriends. On the other hand, I feel that such an aim is misguided and useless considering the deep issues I'm trying to resolve. Then on the other hand, I'm trying to figure out if my desire for such social company and interactions is just me searching for some kind of validation, which if that's the case, then it would be the worst possible reason for me to do it because then it'd be like a drug propping up myself when I should be getting validation from within.

Then comes the part where I just don't have no idea what to do to meet girls. Over the past year I've driven places around here and gone to some bars, but I never really meet anyone. There's one bar where I know regulars, but they stay within that sub-category of people you just know from the bar. People have suggested things like dance classes but I can't find any locally. And I'm super annoyed that all the meetup groups so far that I've joined only seem to be holding happy hour events which coincide with me being at work (never mind I can't drink alcohol).

Oh well, on the bright side my therapist has me doing activities to feel better about myself, so maybe if this works, I won't be thinking about these things too much. Sure I'll still be a 30+ year old virgin, but at least I'll be able to tell myself that I'm still cool....somehow.

Maybe the area you're in sucks and you need to find greener pastures. Some cities simply have nothing to do and no one to do anything with.

 

[Combine]

Maybe the area you're in sucks and you need to find greener pastures. Some cities simply have nothing to do and no one to do anything with.

Nah, I can't use that excuse, because I live in the San Francisco Bay Area (though it ain't fun commuting to the city proper) so that's like, no excuse right there. But I don't have any connections to anything, so I'm just stuck searching for things. Working full-time sucks in the sense that there's little time to really devote to doing something new, especially when you only have the weekend to do things.

Doesn't help that every time I see a new meetup announcement coinciding when I'm at work, I just smh at the whole thing. I can't rely on things like that, so I try to go out and just go to different places. But, because I'm so unsure when I should speak or look at people, I don't really interact and especially "connect" with anyone.

 

[Xun]

Nah, I can't use that excuse, because I live in the San Francisco Bay Area (though it ain't fun commuting to the city proper) so that's like, no excuse right there. But I don't have any connections to anything, so I'm just stuck searching for things. Working full-time sucks in the sense that there's little time to really devote to doing something new, especially when you only have the weekend to do things.

Doesn't help that every time I see a new meetup announcement coinciding when I'm at work, I just smh at the whole thing. I can't rely on things like that, so I try to go out and just go to different places. But, because I'm so unsure when I should speak or look at people, I don't really interact and especially "connect" with anyone.

Do you not work 9-5?

Also I'm sure there is someone here who would be willing to go out with you for drinks.

 

[BoobPhysics101]

Nah, I can't use that excuse, because I live in the San Francisco Bay Area (though it ain't fun commuting to the city proper) so that's like, no excuse right there. But I don't have any connections to anything, so I'm just stuck searching for things. Working full-time sucks in the sense that there's little time to really devote to doing something new, especially when you only have the weekend to do things.

Doesn't help that every time I see a new meetup announcement coinciding when I'm at work, I just smh at the whole thing. I can't rely on things like that, so I try to go out and just go to different places. But, because I'm so unsure when I should speak or look at people, I don't really interact and especially "connect" with anyone.

Right, it's a great area. I used to live in SF and San Jose, and I know quite a few people there. While I can't magically solve your dilemma with words, I do know a few people there you may enjoy hanging out with. For example, I know a couple there who both enjoy games like Gears of War, they go to the Uncharted events, they don't smell funny, and they're awesome people. If you hung out with them, you could probably meet some really cool people with similar interests. I've hung out with them before when I lived there and when I was back visiting, and they're a hoot.

I could set you up with them and you guys could all hang out. At the very least, you could make two very cool new friends.

I realize this may sound weird, but hey, this is the Internet, it's 2011, and you can meet new friends anywhere, anytime.

 

[Miguel]

stuff

Don't sweat it, sounds like she was just being moody. Based off your first date, and even parts of the second it sounds like she's obviously in to you. I would imagine she'll reach out to you soon if she hasn't already. Stay the course.

I've for the most part avoided contact with her the past 2 days, minus a pic of the University of Houston game/tailgate on saturday afternoon, which she replied to and I just didn't really bother messaging back. Didn't message her today mostly because I had another convo going, and I was out with friends and didn't want to be messaging with 2 chicks while my buddies are talking to me about the chicks at the bar and football and I'm not paying attention.

In any case, I'll probably end up sending her a text tomorrow, and see how shattered this has already become, lol. Probably not a big deal, but something inside me just doesn't want to bother with texting her at the moment. I gotta say I was a bit bitter about the situation, since I kinda hoped things would progress the 2nd date, not go into shutdown, but tired from work/week and not feeling well are well and good, I just don't handle that well since I'm always inclined to believe it's not always 100% factual. Have to get out of my own head sometimes, people actually do get sick and feel bad at times.

Until then, I will see how it goes with this other girl I'm talking to now, the flakey one never responded back, so she's out of the current running.

 

[ThanksVision]

So the girl and I fell apart...

I could tell she wasn't that interested anymore... We hungout and played skyward sword but it seemed really forced. and I dunno

I told her that it'd prob be best if we didn't see as much of each other, and she silently agreed... I asked her what happened? Cause that previous (and other) night(s) was so amazing. But she said she honestly didn't know. I just told her I didn't want to push it in that case, and walked away. She didn't protest.

I don't know whyyy

4 months of awesome interaction and buildup kaputt.

feels terrible

 

[ConradCervantes]

No offense to anybody in here, but I hoped I'd never have to post in this thread.

I'm thinking of pursuing therapy. It's been three years since one of my exes and I broke up, and it was a hard one. I've dated and have had a couple of serious relationships since, but I always end up thinking about her. I've been currently single now for a few months, the longest stretch I've been alone in six years, and with the holidays looming and my depression heightening, I've been thinking about her more than ever.

I mean, I have done literally EVERYTHING to attempt to move on. I have been with other women, I have gotten shitfaced with friends and drunkenly flirted my ass off, and I've cut her out of my life completely. The last time I've ever spoken to her was over a year and a half ago when she came back from a school trip in Spain, and we only had a few drinks that night and went our separate ways.

Nothing is working though. Any time I have a free moment to think, I think about her. And I hate myself for it, because of how long it's been and my potential to meet better women. I'm just stuck in the past, and I want so badly to move on.

Is therapy a viable option for my problem, or am I just overreacting and should go out and fuck and drink even more?

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

No offense to anybody in here, but I hoped I'd never have to post in this thread.

I'm thinking of pursuing therapy. It's been three years since one of my exes and I broke up, and it was a hard one. I've dated and have had a couple of serious relationships since, but I always end up thinking about her. I've been currently single now for a few months, the longest stretch I've been alone in six years, and with the holidays looming and my depression heightening, I've been thinking about her more than ever.

I mean, I have done literally EVERYTHING to attempt to move on. I have been with other women, I have gotten shitfaced with friends and drunkenly flirted my ass off, and I've cut her out of my life completely. The last time I've ever spoken to her was over a year and a half ago when she came back from a school trip in Spain, and we only had a few drinks that night and went our separate ways.

Nothing is working though. Any time I have a free moment to think, I think about her. And I hate myself for it, because of how long it's been and my potential to meet better women. I'm just stuck in the past, and I want so badly to move on.

Is therapy a viable option for my problem, or am I just overreacting and should go out and fuck and drink even more?

Therapy wouldn't hurt. If you can't seem to move on then there's something about yourself that is so seriously wrong that you yourself can't fix on your own.....

 

[Subtervotion]

Ok GAF, I need some opinions.

So I've been regularly messaging these two girls on okcupid. In both situations, ~5 messages have been sent from both sides. I figured it was best to upgrade from okc messaging to texting, so I gave both of the girls my number. Days and days passed. Never got a text from either of them. Finally ~6 days later I get messages on okc from them. One of them says I never gave her my name so she didn't want to text without knowing it and the other one said something about every time she thinks about texting me it's "too late o'clock". She then gave me her number and said shes anticipating my text.

So I messaged the first girl and told her my name, but the second girl has me wondering if shes testing me. (This is the main reason I'm posting.)

A little back story, The first girl messaged me first. I messaged the second girl first. I've had interesting conversation with both of them. And I thought it was a good sign that second gave me her name in one of her later messages.

Opinions? Am I over thinking the whole thing?

 

[overcast]

As I'm on my phone, a couple quick ones: don't overanalyze things, as always. If sometimes things don't go perfectly, don't assume it's because of you or the end of you two. She, or you, could just be having a shitty day. Don't get jealous. She should still have her own life, as should you. Thats perfectly normal. And a last one: enjoy it

Btw, how come 'not so soon'?

Alright, thanks a lot for the tips. I'll try my best. Well I figured we would wait like a month before making it "official". Talked last night, probably a few weeks.

Sorry for the late response.

 

[Blader]

Ok GAF, I need some opinions.

So I've been regularly messaging these two girls on okcupid. In both situations, ~5 messages have been sent from both sides. I figured it was best to upgrade from okc messaging to texting, so I gave both of the girls my number. Days and days passed. Never got a text from either of them. Finally ~6 days later I get messages on okc from them. One of them says I never gave her my name so she didn't want to text without knowing it and the other one said something about every time she thinks about texting me it's "too late o'clock". She then gave me her number and said shes anticipating my text.

So I messaged the first girl and told her my name, but the second girl has me wondering if shes testing me. (This is the main reason I'm posting.)

A little back story, The first girl messaged me first. I messaged the second girl first. I've had interesting conversation with both of them. And I thought it was a good sign that second gave me her name in one of her later messages.

Opinions? Am I over thinking the whole thing?

Yes.

You have their names and numbers. That's moving up. Just text.

 

[TheSchwab_7]

Talked to this girl I knew from high school, gave her my number telling her to text me if she wanted to talk. Texted me about five minutes later asking a bunch of stuff about me. Daddy's home. We actually had a lot of stuff in common, and it doesn't hurt that she's pretty cute.

 

[Mr.City]

Man, I'm clueless and even more fucking confused. On the one hand, I feel like I should be more proactive in trying to find girlfriends. On the other hand, I feel that such an aim is misguided and useless considering the deep issues I'm trying to resolve. Then on the other hand, I'm trying to figure out if my desire for such social company and interactions is just me searching for some kind of validation, which if that's the case, then it would be the worst possible reason for me to do it because then it'd be like a drug propping up myself when I should be getting validation from within.

Then comes the part where I just don't have no idea what to do to meet girls. Over the past year I've driven places around here and gone to some bars, but I never really meet anyone. There's one bar where I know regulars, but they stay within that sub-category of people you just know from the bar. People have suggested things like dance classes but I can't find any locally. And I'm super annoyed that all the meetup groups so far that I've joined only seem to be holding happy hour events which coincide with me being at work (never mind I can't drink alcohol).

Oh well, on the bright side my therapist has me doing activities to feel better about myself, so maybe if this works, I won't be thinking about these things too much. Sure I'll still be a 30+ year old virgin, but at least I'll be able to tell myself that I'm still cool....somehow.

Instead of doing this same old fucking self-analysis, it's time to look at yourself and say, "I'm a lonely man who can't handle being alone. What am I doing to do about this?" For years, it's been this petrified report back here on the forums WITH NO REAL INTERACTIONS WITH ANY PEOPLE. How many people have you interacted over this week?

As for your last paragraph, it's all bullshit. If you're going to treat therapy like a drug, why just do some fucking drugs?

 

[Ninja_Hawk]

Talked to this girl I knew from high school, gave her my number telling her to text me if she wanted to talk. Texted me about five minutes later asking a bunch of stuff about me. Daddy's home. We actually had a lot of stuff in common, and it doesn't hurt that she's pretty cute.

Swag.

 

[low-G]

Something I learned for myself tonight: Sometimes when things don't work out with the girl it's because she's already seeing someone and she's more of a mental case than you ever were (also, she lies a lot because she hates herself).

 

[masud]

Ok GAF, I need some opinions.

So I've been regularly messaging these two girls on okcupid. In both situations, ~5 messages have been sent from both sides. I figured it was best to upgrade from okc messaging to texting, so I gave both of the girls my number. Days and days passed. Never got a text from either of them. Finally ~6 days later I get messages on okc from them. One of them says I never gave her my name so she didn't want to text without knowing it and the other one said something about every time she thinks about texting me it's "too late o'clock". She then gave me her number and said shes anticipating my text.

So I messaged the first girl and told her my name, but the second girl has me wondering if shes testing me. (This is the main reason I'm posting.)

A little back story, The first girl messaged me first. I messaged the second girl first. I've had interesting conversation with both of them. And I thought it was a good sign that second gave me her name in one of her later messages.

Opinions? Am I over thinking the whole thing?

Why do you give them your number instead of asking for theirs? Also I had the most success with online dating when I got to the dating part as soon as possible. If you guys talk for weeks before hand what are you gonna talk about on the date? It also takes the suspense and excitement out of a 1st date imo. 2 to 3 messages back and forth tops before you ask them out I say. Just go for it, if she's not interested in going on a date with you then why is she talking to you on a dating website?

 

[Combine]

Instead of doing this same old fucking self-analysis, it's time to look at yourself and say, "I'm a lonely man who can't handle being alone. What am I doing to do about this?" For years, it's been this petrified report back here on the forums WITH NO REAL INTERACTIONS WITH ANY PEOPLE. How many people have you interacted over this week?

As for your last paragraph, it's all bullshit. If you're going to treat therapy like a drug, why just do some fucking drugs?

Well, I obviously interact with people at work, in transactions like getting lunch and other shopping. Though, I'm not sure if they qualify as "real interaction" since I don't know what that really means.

I'm still not sure what therapy is going to do for me to be honest other than making me take a closer look at myself. Though things don't go so well when anxiety and panic attacks start up again and I become more focused on trying to get rid of those.

You ask me what I'm going to do about it. I don't know what to do about it. And what is so confusing is what you just said about therapy or anything else I do to try and better myself, how do I know if I'm treating it like a drug or not?

Do you not work 9-5?

Also I'm sure there is someone here who would be willing to go out with you for drinks.

Still hasn't happened. I'm definitely not holding out for that. By now I doubt there is anyone left on this forum sans City who'd be willing to put up with me in person, since they can barely put up with me online.

 

[TheVampire]

I am so fucking in with this girl

Girl im meeting tomorrow for the first time just sent me this:

"Just don't work to hard tomorrow (maybe do a 1/3 of the pile) don't want you all tired out by tomorrow night"

:O

I hope I loose my vcard and I hope I dont blow it literally and figuratively speaking.

 

[Snakeyes]

Congrats! Don't set the bar too high because you'll probably suck during your first time (and that's perfectly normal).

 

[luckyboyceo]

No offense to anybody in here, but I hoped I'd never have to post in this thread.

I'm thinking of pursuing therapy. It's been three years since one of my exes and I broke up, and it was a hard one. I've dated and have had a couple of serious relationships since, but I always end up thinking about her. I've been currently single now for a few months, the longest stretch I've been alone in six years, and with the holidays looming and my depression heightening, I've been thinking about her more than ever.

I mean, I have done literally EVERYTHING to attempt to move on. I have been with other women, I have gotten shitfaced with friends and drunkenly flirted my ass off, and I've cut her out of my life completely. The last time I've ever spoken to her was over a year and a half ago when she came back from a school trip in Spain, and we only had a few drinks that night and went our separate ways.

Nothing is working though. Any time I have a free moment to think, I think about her. And I hate myself for it, because of how long it's been and my potential to meet better women. I'm just stuck in the past, and I want so badly to move on.

Is therapy a viable option for my problem, or am I just overreacting and should go out and fuck and drink even more?

I'd give it a go, especially if you have some resources available to you that can make it affordable (school, work, insurance). I've gone to a few therapy sessions in my lifetime, over what sounds like a very similar situation, and if anything just being able to talk to someone about how I was feeling at the time helped a lot. Try it out and if it's not your thing, bail, but I think you'll find it helpful.

Talked to this girl I knew from high school, gave her my number telling her to text me if she wanted to talk. Texted me about five minutes later asking a bunch of stuff about me. Daddy's home. We actually had a lot of stuff in common, and it doesn't hurt that she's pretty cute.

Hell yeah. Get that shit son!

 

[Dartastic]

I just wanted to get advice about getting back with an ex. We broke up in June, but kinda hung out for a while over the summer. We haven't really spoken regularly since early September. We had some problems, but nothing too major I guess in the long run. She contacted me way too much, didn't give me the space I needed, and needed to lose some weight. Other than that, we really got along great, and I can chalk those first two up to immaturity/a lack of communication on my part.

I saw her the other day, and it was obvious that there was some chemistry there. Part of that might have been because we were drunk, but whatever. The weight was gone, and she looked absolutely beautiful. She spent the night at my place, and I still felt really good in the morning, so I'm pretty sure it wasn't all drunkenness. I can't stop thinking about her again. I wonder if part of this is because I think she's dating some people and it's jealousy or something (I'm not normally a jealous person) but I just... bleh. I think I miss her.

I'm dating a couple people as well, and one of them is really nice and cute as well. But like, ugh. I don't know what the hell to do. :/

 

[BoobPhysics101]

I am so fucking in with this girl

Girl im meeting tomorrow for the first time just sent me this:

"Just don't work to hard tomorrow (maybe do a 1/3 of the pile) don't want you all tired out by tomorrow night"

:O

I hope I loose my vcard and I hope I dont blow it literally and figuratively speaking.

Don't get your hopes up too high, but if you get the chance, give her some sweet lovin'. And go slow at first, don't just tear that shit up because chances are you can't handle the feeling and you'll end up blowing your nut if it does happen. Get used to it, and gradually increase speed.

It's like riding a bike, but instead of handlebars you've got her hair and instead of a seat, there's a vagina. And you steer with your penis.

But most importantly, if it happens, it happens. Don't try to force the issue, let things flow! Worst thing you can do is just 100% expect sex and unconsciously influence the situation towards that and if that's not her intention, bad move. So be smooth and let her initiate the pickle tickling.

 

[TheVampire]

Thanks for the advice.

If anything did happen like tomorrow, next week, next month etc... I'd be sure to make an indepth thread about it with every little detail.

 

[Minamu]

Ok GAF, I need some opinions.

So I've been regularly messaging these two girls on okcupid. In both situations, ~5 messages have been sent from both sides. I figured it was best to upgrade from okc messaging to texting, so I gave both of the girls my number. Days and days passed. Never got a text from either of them. Finally ~6 days later I get messages on okc from them. One of them says I never gave her my name so she didn't want to text without knowing it and the other one said something about every time she thinks about texting me it's "too late o'clock". She then gave me her number and said shes anticipating my text.

So I messaged the first girl and told her my name, but the second girl has me wondering if shes testing me. (This is the main reason I'm posting.)

A little back story, The first girl messaged me first. I messaged the second girl first. I've had interesting conversation with both of them. And I thought it was a good sign that second gave me her name in one of her later messages.

Opinions? Am I over thinking the whole thing?

I think that if you have to ask, then yes, you are over thinking it. But I also see your point and why you're concerned. I think it might be a streak of bad luck, really. I gave out my number a while back and neither of us knew our names and it wasn't a problem at all (good opportunity for nick names, guessing games and teasing). The other girl might be shy or is making shit up due to lack of interest/comfort/tension build up (or it became a too big a deal to text you). Hard to tell if it's a test and I'm not sure how to counter it. I think the bigger question is, do you want to put up with these stupid tests or not?

Edit: Even with a new profile and some of the best pictures people have ever taken of me, I mostly go ignored no matter what I write... Writing personal messages based on profiles ain't helping at all. Too much work I suppose they may be a bit wussy. Time to change!

Why do you give them your number instead of asking for theirs?

Because he decides if they are worthy or not Church is the price. It's kinda like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6wNCRLybN8

 

[zatara]

Update:

Got told she wanted to divorce me by text. I suggested we meet face to face to discuss splitting everything up. We did. 10 hours later I get a message from an old friend on Facebook saying "why did your wife change her status to single", I hop on Facebook, she blocked me.

 

[Minamu]

Update:

Got told she wanted to divorce me by text. I suggested we meet face to face to discuss splitting everything up. We did. 10 hours later I get a message from an old friend on Facebook saying "why did your wife change her status to single", I hop on Facebook, she blocked me.

That's beyond icecold... Divorce notice via sms should tell you a shit ton about her overall lack of character. Get out and never ever look back. She isn't worth going sentimental over. Hang in there!

Spoiler

Maybe get tested? :S I'd really work under the assumption that she has been cheating at this point.

 

[Mordeccai]

How do I abuse the fact that its my birthday to get some pussy GAF.

This opportunity only comes around once a year!

 

[Idde]

Alright, thanks a lot for the tips. I'll try my best. Well I figured we would wait like a month before making it "official". Talked last night, probably a few weeks.

Sorry for the late response.

Ah, OK. So you're still dating, but it just isn't official yet? Only a matter of time. Good luck.

It's like riding a bike, but instead of handlebars you've got her hair and instead of a seat, there's a vagina. And you steer with your penis.

Damn, I knew I was doing something wrong Next time I'll try the bike technique.

 

[ShOcKwAvE]

Texted M again last night that I was really confused why she was ignoring me after SHE asked me to meet and talk. Now this morning:

Her: "I don't want to date anyone and I don't want to drag this out so just...so please understand. I don't want to meet on Tues. I'm sorry."
Me: "I'm glad you're finally honest, but you won't even use the phone and let me say what I wanted? I think you owe me that much...texts suck."

Seriously, texting sucks. She was the one dragging this out, not me. I actually feel a lot better knowing what she wants, but hiding behind texts is just pathetic.

Update:

Got told she wanted to divorce me by text. I suggested we meet face to face to discuss splitting everything up. We did. 10 hours later I get a message from an old friend on Facebook saying "why did your wife change her status to single", I hop on Facebook, she blocked me.

So sorry zatara. TEXTS SUCK. What person in their right mind thinks they should ask for divorce in that way?!

 

[Dartastic]

I just wanted to get advice about getting back with an ex. We broke up in June, but kinda hung out for a while over the summer. We haven't really spoken regularly since early September. We had some problems, but nothing too major I guess in the long run. She contacted me way too much, didn't give me the space I needed, and needed to lose some weight. Other than that, we really got along great, and I can chalk those first two up to immaturity/a lack of communication on my part.

I saw her the other day, and it was obvious that there was some chemistry there. Part of that might have been because we were drunk, but whatever. The weight was gone, and she looked absolutely beautiful. She spent the night at my place, and I still felt really good in the morning, so I'm pretty sure it wasn't all drunkenness. I can't stop thinking about her again. I wonder if part of this is because I think she's dating some people and it's jealousy or something (I'm not normally a jealous person) but I just... bleh. I think I miss her.

I'm dating a couple people as well, and one of them is really nice and cute as well. But like, ugh. I don't know what the hell to do. :/

Nobody? :/

 

[Schlep]

Texted M again last night that I was really confused why she was ignoring me after SHE asked me to meet and talk. Now this morning:

Her: "I don't want to date anyone and I don't want to drag this out so just...so please understand. I don't want to meet on Tues. I'm sorry."
Me: "I'm glad you're finally honest, but you won't even use the phone and let me say what I wanted? I think you owe me that much...texts suck."

Sorry, man, but she doesn't owe you anything. You might have caught her at a strange time, or put too much emphasis on it being a formal date, or something. A very small chance that you could have salvaged Tuesday, a larger chance that you could have met up with her sometime later, but you blew yourself out with that text by being needy and controlling. Not trying to be an ass, just trying to help.

And texts are great, and pretty much the only way I communicate with girls unless face to face. Being able to have a couple minutes to consider what you're going to say is great, and the nature of them is fun.

 

[Miguel]

Texted M again last night that I was really confused why she was ignoring me after SHE asked me to meet and talk. Now this morning:

Her: "I don't want to date anyone and I don't want to drag this out so just...so please understand. I don't want to meet on Tues. I'm sorry."
Me: "I'm glad you're finally honest, but you won't even use the phone and let me say what I wanted? I think you owe me that much...texts suck."

"Well now that we got that out of the way, let's go grab some drinks so I can screw your brains out later"

 

[Mordeccai]

^ you may as well say this, real talk, because you've got nothing to lose and everything to win.

I'd do it in your shoes.

 

[Ninja_Hawk]

I just wanted to get advice about getting back with an ex. We broke up in June, but kinda hung out for a while over the summer. We haven't really spoken regularly since early September. We had some problems, but nothing too major I guess in the long run. She contacted me way too much, didn't give me the space I needed, and needed to lose some weight. Other than that, we really got along great, and I can chalk those first two up to immaturity/a lack of communication on my part.

I saw her the other day, and it was obvious that there was some chemistry there. Part of that might have been because we were drunk, but whatever. The weight was gone, and she looked absolutely beautiful. She spent the night at my place, and I still felt really good in the morning, so I'm pretty sure it wasn't all drunkenness. I can't stop thinking about her again. I wonder if part of this is because I think she's dating some people and it's jealousy or something (I'm not normally a jealous person) but I just... bleh. I think I miss her.

I'm dating a couple people as well, and one of them is really nice and cute as well. But like, ugh. I don't know what the hell to do. :/

Stop worrying? You're dating a couple people so you shouldn't be too attached or obligated to commit anything to one particular person unless it reaches that point. So go find some time and hang with her and see how things go, that will help you decide about how much you really care about her compared to everyone else, and you can make your decision off of that.

 

[Baconbitz]

So, the other day this girl I work with at Kmart told me that someone likes me and has noticed me flirting with her. I don't really like second hand talk and I sorta don't believe her since I don't remember flirting with her. She said that this girl likes me too. Anyways, from 1 to 10 she is between a 6 and a 7 in my book. I kinda feel like it might be a trap. Should I go for her or avoid it?

Edit: this girl keeps saying things like "Did you see your girlfriend, Daniel?"

 

[Dartastic]

Stop worrying? You're dating a couple people so you shouldn't be too attached or obligated to commit anything to one particular person unless it reaches that point. So go find some time and hang with her and see how things go, that will help you decide about how much you really care about her compared to everyone else, and you can make your decision off of that.

Good advice. Thank you. I just want to avoid getting involved and hurting her again, as I was the one who initiated the break up. At the time it was the right thing to do.

 

[Subtervotion]

Thanks for the advice guys. Going to text her sometime tomorrow or the next day. I'm a little worried about the first date though. She lives almost an hour away so I'm not too sure how to casually set up a date in a Bent-esque way.

 

[Miguel]

Thanks for the advice guys. Going to text her sometime tomorrow or the next day. I'm a little worried about the first date though. She lives almost an hour away so I'm not too sure how to casually set up a date in a Bent-esque way.

Why tomorrow or the next day? Do it now.

Thanksgiving plans pretty much rule later this week out, maybe weekend. It's possible she may be available today/tomorrow before Thanksgiving craziness comes around. Don't drag your feet, made that mistake way too many times in the past.

Girl 2 is the one in this situation right?

Do you have girl 1's number, or did she ever text you? If you have her number, text her too. Ask if they're free before thanksgiving, one or both might say yes, and you may end up having plans for tonight, tues, or wednesday, maybe 2 of the 3.

Jump in. Worst they can say is no at this point considering you've exchanged a few messages already. If they say no and you've given them no real reason to be (being a jerk or something) then they were probably going to say no anyway just further down the line stringing you along. And if they say yes, then you've got a date (or two) for the next few days.

 

[ATF487]

Update:

Got told she wanted to divorce me by text. I suggested we meet face to face to discuss splitting everything up. We did. 10 hours later I get a message from an old friend on Facebook saying "why did your wife change her status to single", I hop on Facebook, she blocked me.

I can't believe you were married to her for years. She sounds like a child, and not worth any anguish

It might suck right now, but I can honestly say that you will be much better off in the long term.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

Update:

Got told she wanted to divorce me by text. I suggested we meet face to face to discuss splitting everything up. We did. 10 hours later I get a message from an old friend on Facebook saying "why did your wife change her status to single", I hop on Facebook, she blocked me.

This is ridiculous. Dealing with my breakup has sucked, but at least I can say both of us are attempting to act like mature adults, even if we both have had minor setbacks at times. If she doesn't love you anymore or whatever, fine, but at least give the relationship the respect it deserves.

Did you ever see signs of this level of immaturity before? Did you at least get the chance to have an adult conversation with her about this shit?

 

[Subtervotion]

Why tomorrow or the next day? Do it now.

Thanksgiving plans pretty much rule later this week out, maybe weekend. It's possible she may be available today/tomorrow before Thanksgiving craziness comes around. Don't drag your feet, made that mistake way too many times in the past.

Girl 2 is the one in this situation right?

Do you have girl 1's number, or did she ever text you? If you have her number, text her too. Ask if they're free before thanksgiving, one or both might say yes, and you may end up having plans for tonight, tues, or wednesday, maybe 2 of the 3.

Jump in. Worst they can say is no at this point considering you've exchanged a few messages already. If they say no and you've given them no real reason to be (being a jerk or something) then they were probably going to say no anyway just further down the line stringing you along. And if they say yes, then you've got a date (or two) for the next few days.

I was going to wait a day or two because I just got her number last night. I didn't want to seem desperate or w/e by texting too soon. I see your point though. And yes this is girl 2 I'm talking about.

I do want to meet them sooner, rather than later. But like I said, they both live about an hour away. Has that ever been a problem for anyone here?

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

So sorry zatara. TEXTS SUCK. What person in their right mind thinks they should ask for divorce in that way?!

Someone that is completely selfish and totally immature, it's the kind of thing that you expect from your high school girlfriend, not your wife. He should take comfort in the fact she has totally screwed up her life, and will continue to do so long after he has found happiness with someone else.

Hope he blocks her number/email, cause she did all this so fast she might realize what she had and try to come crawling back eventually...

 

[Barrage]

UgH. I'm rattled. I'm gonna write this down, even though seeing it written makes the situation sound worse than it is.

So i've been dating this girl for two months. We are incredibly similar, as in, we not only have the same likes and dislikes, we have the same problems. And we deal with them in the same way (by watching stand-up and laying in bed all day).

After a good week of not seeing each other, we (and by we, I mean she) had a five hour conversation. She's been going through a horrible time recently, with about seven problems compounding each other. And I felt terrible, because we're so similar if I knew how to make her happy, I'd already be happy.

She told she's been snapping on people lately, and I noticed she was doing the same thing with me.

One day later, one of her relatives died.

She said she was overwhelmed, and she wanted a break. I said fine, I can undersrand that kind of stress. I told her I was there for her if she needs me. I've texted her twice since then (ten days ago). I'm finding out things from other people, and feel like I'm the last one to know anything/ I'm inconveinencing her by even trying totalk to her.

I dunno, man...I mean, I WANT to see her. But I dont want to pressure her. On the one hand, a romantic gesture would be too much, I guess. On the other hand, I shouldn't be feeling bad for contacting my girlfriend two days in a row.

Thoughts?

 

[soultron]

A girl I used to work with, but barely saw, messaged me saying she wants to be real-life friends. She's hella cute. Gave her my number and we're going out this week. I never used the word date but I also never acknowledged/used the word "friends."

Hopefully I am doing this right. We will see.

Barrage: Give her space, dude. She'll come to you. Don't add "BF pestering me while I need space" to her list of problems. She's not in the correct headspace to appreciate a romantic gesture right now either. You've already made contact, so let her come to you when she's ready.

zatara: Sorry to hear that. Well, not really. Because this just means you're cleared to move forward with the divorce and there's no uncertainty now. You're better off even though it might not seem that way yet.

 

[Baconbitz]

Anyone?

 

[Miguel]

So, the other day this girl I work with at Kmart told me that someone likes me and has noticed me flirting with her. I don't really like second hand talk and I sorta don't believe her since I don't remember flirting with her. She said that this girl likes me too. Anyways, from 1 to 10 she is between a 6 and a 7 in my book. I kinda feel like it might be a trap. Should I go for her or avoid it?

Edit: this girl keeps saying things like "Did you see your girlfriend, Daniel?"

Do you want to go out with her?

Same answer.

 

[Dilly]

Girl I like was texting me on saturday night while she was out with her friends. I'd say that's a good sign.

Cant' wait for the third date this friday. Haven't seen her for 2 weeks which felt way too long.

 

[Baconbitz]

Do you want to go out with her?

Same answer.

Like, I said she's a 6 to 7. I'm not even sure how old she is.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

Like, I said she's a 6 to 7. I'm not even sure how old she is.

This is ridiculous. Seriously the whole number scale makes no sense to me. Either you're physically attracted to the person and think they might be enjoyable to be around or you don't.

 

[Minamu]

Thanks for the advice guys. Going to text her sometime tomorrow or the next day. I'm a little worried about the first date though. She lives almost an hour away so I'm not too sure how to casually set up a date in a Bent-esque way.

What kind of tone do you (and others) use for opening conversations online? I scan their profile for common interests and ask genuine questions (their answers tell me if I should be interested or not) combined with some friendly humor. Should I tease them right from the start and be sexual or what?