First time poster in this thread.
I'd like to see what some of your guys opinions are on this situation I've found myself in. It's semi-complex, so I'll try to make it as clear as I can. Anyway, here goes this wall of text.
Let me preface this by saying I still have my V-card and this is my first semi-serious attempt at a relationship. I also have a hard time becoming attracted to most girls on a deeper level than surface sexual attraction.
I met this girl about seven months ago through a mutual friend at a party. We connect pretty well, and I think that this girl may have some attraction to me. I don't think much of it however. Over the next few months, we keep seeing each other at these parties our mutual friend throws, and we keep talking. I'm in college, so right before I head off campus for summer, I think that this girl definitely has interest in me, but I'm unsure what I feel about her. I go back home for summer break and continue to think about this girl.
Summer goes by and I've thought about this person more and decide that if she's interested in hanging out together, outside of just parties, then I'd be happy with that too. A month goes by and we see each other at one of our mutual friends parties again. We're both under the influence, and she tells me "You're cute.". Cue a bunch of drunk friends jokingly saying "Man, she wants to have sex with you" etc. etc. A few days after the party, our mutual friend tells me that this girl wants my number and that she wants to start talking to me. "Great!" I think to myself. Then we start seeing each other. The
first time we hang out, we go to dinner as a group with our mutual friend, then we go back to her house and hang out in her bed. This girl seems pretty forward, but since I'm a total noob at this relationship stuff, I don't really know how to act. I make the move to snuggle in her bed and it goes pretty well. We talk and generally seem to enjoy each others company.
Now we start seeing each other a few days out of the week, and she talks to me through text regularly (frequently each day). We go out to see a movie, and we continue to hang out at both her and my place. Things seem to be going very well, but then things start to happen. Out of the blue she stops talking to me so frequently, and starts sort of giving me the cold shoulder. I don't feel like I've really done anything to warrant this reaction so I openly question her about it. All she tells me is that she "had a change of heart". Oh no, I think. She's found a new guy she has interest in. Wrong, but this is where it starts to get interesting.
So I start coaxing some truth about the situation from her and our mutual friend. As it turns out, this girl and our mutual friend, another girl, had a relationship for a period over the summer, and the girl I have interested in is having conflicting feelings. Our mutual friend tells me that their relationship is now strictly friendship and that's it. Especially considering that this relationship of theirs was an extramarital affair.
For the next two months, this girl goes from showing interest to not showing interest and constantly keeping me in a state of confusion. At this point I've grown to be pretty attracted to this girl and feel like we are a decent match for each other, yet there's this "issue" she's having. This past relationship with our mutual friend
cannot happen again, yet she's still having this conflict of interest. I can't tell if it's just an issue of sexuality or what, and she decides to stop opening up to me about things.
I start talking to our mutual friend about this girl a lot more and I spend more time talking to her than I do the girl I have interest in. There seems to be a lot of drama between the two of them and it's not just my relationship that's in flux constantly. This girl, however, definitely still seems to have interest in me and we continue our casual talking. We don't really talk about the relationship between the two of us however, and we do most of our personal talking through text, rather than in person or via a phone call.
A few weeks ago we hang out at a Halloween party our mutual friend throws. This girl is all over me and seems to definitely have interest. However, after this we stop talking quite as much, and we haven't seen each other in person since then. She's kept promising that we'd hang out, only to change her mind every time. Now I'm starting to get somewhat frustrated, even though I like this girl and am trying to be as patient with her as I can be.
My question to you guys is, do you think this is worth it? I like this girl, and feel like there's great potential for the two of us, but only if we can deal with these things together and communicate through them. Rationally I think that maybe all of this shit isn't worth it, and that there's plenty of fish in the sea. Emotionally though, I feel like this girl is worth trying to be patient for and to ride out this potential storm.
At this point, I don't really care either way if she does or doesn't want to be with me. If she does, that's great. If she doesn't, I'm fine with that too. I just want some resolution from her.
If you've read all of this, I commend you and thanks. There's more details I've neglected, but this is pretty much the gist of it. I'd love to see what you all think.
