...what?
people used to assume depression to be that the person was just insane
progress is always being made, albeit slowly, so its a logical assumption
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
- Start date
- Status
...what?
people used to assume depression to be that the person was just insane
progress is always being made, albeit slowly, so its a logical assumption
It is an assumption that may often be wrong but out of your available options it's got the best odds.
So last night I confessed to my friend how depressed I really am and how much I think about just wanting to die. She was really supportive and nice about it and insisted that I speak to a professional, and I told her I'd look into it. It felt good to just let someone close to me know about it.
Ok so you're only two years older than I am. My hunch was pretty close. And I would ask your parents if they thought you were ever happy. Would they say yes?
Either way, the study, application and awareness of mental health has made pretty significant strides even if you look at just the past 50 years. We went from lobotomies, ECT, thorazine, benzos, lithium (ugh) to CBT, analyzing the role of genetics in a patient's mental health history, SSRIs (for better or worse), and an increased focus on therapy and rehabilitation.
Mercury Fred
Banned
lunchtoast
Member
Have any of you found your calling in life. I mean like a job/skill/hobby you've always enjoyed? I think that's my main problem right now. I know many people go through life just going with the flow never finding what makes them happy and making the best of it, but what about those people who say they've been doing something their whole lives and still enjoy it? I can't believe people who say stuff like "I've been drawing my whole life and it makes me happy" or "I've been making movies since I was a kid and I can't believe I get paid to do this."
I wish we had those chips like in Futurama that tell you what you're best at. Everything I thought I would enjoy as a career I eventually get bored and lose interest in. Maybe it's because I back off once hard work is introduced, or the challenges to reach the goal isn't worth it. Most likely I'm just part of the self entitled generation.
Nothing really brings me happiness anymore. The only slight motivation I have for finding a job is to get a motorcycle. I've wanted one for years. I got my license back in 2004 before I went to bootcamp and just haven't been able to get one. Another reason is because they are dangerous there could be a good chance I can die in an accident at a young age so I wouldn't have to worry about how my life can turn out. Just let it all go.
/livejournal
I wish we had those chips like in Futurama that tell you what you're best at. Everything I thought I would enjoy as a career I eventually get bored and lose interest in. Maybe it's because I back off once hard work is introduced, or the challenges to reach the goal isn't worth it. Most likely I'm just part of the self entitled generation.
Nothing really brings me happiness anymore. The only slight motivation I have for finding a job is to get a motorcycle. I've wanted one for years. I got my license back in 2004 before I went to bootcamp and just haven't been able to get one. Another reason is because they are dangerous there could be a good chance I can die in an accident at a young age so I wouldn't have to worry about how my life can turn out. Just let it all go.
/livejournal
Trileptal and Celexa. The key here was in figuring out that I was bipolar II and not just depressive. It seems that giving bipolar people antidepressants without a mood stabilizer can cause an increase in the periodicity of their cycles, leading ultra radian cycling and mixed states. So as doctors kept upping my dosage of antidepressants, I was getting worse and worse, until I came completely off the rails. Once I got on the mood stabilizer, the Celexa did a good job at handling the depression. I wouldn't say I'm all better, but I'm shit tons better than I have been in a long time. I started off with cycles that flipped at about three to four month intervals and once I started on the antidepressants that went to monthly, then weekly, then daily, then multiple flips a day, and finally into one hellish two year period of a permanent mixed state of depression and hypomanic anxiety, where I spent most of my time wishing I was dead or planning to get that way.
It cost me my career, many friends, probably my wife, and nearly a decade of emotional agony. Being on the road to recovery is hard, but it's nice to be trending upward instead of downward.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
No, but I do write small posts and then delete them.
lunchtoast
Member
I'm feeling terrible right now. My paxil prescription ran out last week and I didn't refill it. Now I'm experiencing the withdrawal symptoms such as depression, dizziness, tingling. I'm seeing my doctor on the 13th and I'm telling him I'm done with this.
Douglas Quaid
Member
Have any of you with more severe depression considered ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) ?
It has unfortunately been misrepresented in the media as some kind of torture method (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest), but this is really not the case at all! It has helped a lot of people in a very powerful way conquer their depression and sort of "reboot" so to speak.
This is a really really great talk, check it out:
http://www.ted.com/talks/sherwin_nuland_on_electroshock_therapy.html
It has unfortunately been misrepresented in the media as some kind of torture method (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest), but this is really not the case at all! It has helped a lot of people in a very powerful way conquer their depression and sort of "reboot" so to speak.
This is a really really great talk, check it out:
http://www.ted.com/talks/sherwin_nuland_on_electroshock_therapy.html
tearsofash
Member
It almost always varies person to person.
Been really depressed since last Sunday. Lacked motivation, had suicidal thoughts, and was genuinely disgusted with myself. I tried exercising, being social, and none of it really helped. I told my therapist about it earlier this week. I'm on mood stabilizers, so my mood's never really "sour" so to speak. I just get all that other stuff that mood stabilizers don't aid.
I seem to have avoided it for the most part today, but mostly because of small group socializing instead of large groups (yikes).
It usually doesn't hit real hard until I come home for the day. I don't know if I'm done with it, but hopefully spring break will give me some time to either get better or get tremendously worse. I tend to overthink and rationalize a lot of my behaviors - so I always have a plan of attack to 'get healthier' but sometimes putting into action is hard when you've suddenly lost all interest and hate yourself. You know how it goes.
I've been transgendered for as long as I can remember, but I've always hid it. At least, I rarely talk about it. The few times I've mentioned it, it's blown back in my face. This is one of those times than I can't keep the lid on the boiling pot, and it's been affecting me quite a bit. This time, I've tried being more open about it trying to get all that negative energy out of me so I don't get in the traditional depressive loop.
Been really depressed since last Sunday. Lacked motivation, had suicidal thoughts, and was genuinely disgusted with myself. I tried exercising, being social, and none of it really helped. I told my therapist about it earlier this week. I'm on mood stabilizers, so my mood's never really "sour" so to speak. I just get all that other stuff that mood stabilizers don't aid.
I seem to have avoided it for the most part today, but mostly because of small group socializing instead of large groups (yikes).
It usually doesn't hit real hard until I come home for the day. I don't know if I'm done with it, but hopefully spring break will give me some time to either get better or get tremendously worse. I tend to overthink and rationalize a lot of my behaviors - so I always have a plan of attack to 'get healthier' but sometimes putting into action is hard when you've suddenly lost all interest and hate yourself. You know how it goes.
I've been transgendered for as long as I can remember, but I've always hid it. At least, I rarely talk about it. The few times I've mentioned it, it's blown back in my face. This is one of those times than I can't keep the lid on the boiling pot, and it's been affecting me quite a bit. This time, I've tried being more open about it trying to get all that negative energy out of me so I don't get in the traditional depressive loop.
Anyone have the experience of working a job you hate so much it basically kills your spirit, and turns your weekend into a torturous countdown to monday morning, but are too depressed and clueless about what else you'd do to look for another job? That's where I'm at right now. I'm already depressed, but this job is sucking the goddamn life out of me, and I have no idea how to go about looking for another one. I don't like what I'm doing right now (bank call center), but I have no experience/training/education in anything else, have no connections/network of people, and just the thought of doing interviews where I have to sell myself as someone they'd want to hire is a draining experience when my self-esteem and self-confidence are rock bottom.
Right now I'm just kind of sitting around dreading having to go back to work tomorrow at 7:30am. This job is fucking killing me.
Right now I'm just kind of sitting around dreading having to go back to work tomorrow at 7:30am. This job is fucking killing me.
Ninja Beagle
Member
Anyone have the experience of working a job you hate so much it basically kills your spirit, and turns your weekend into a torturous countdown to monday morning, but are too depressed and clueless about what else you'd do to look for another job? That's where I'm at right now. I'm already depressed, but this job is sucking the goddamn life out of me, and I have no idea how to go about looking for another one. I don't like what I'm doing right now (bank call center), but I have no experience/training/education in anything else, have no connections/network of people, and just the thought of doing interviews where I have to sell myself as someone they'd want to hire is a draining experience when my self-esteem and self-confidence are rock bottom.
Right now I'm just kind of sitting around dreading having to go back to work tomorrow at 7:30am. This job is fucking killing me.
I'm with you man. I hate my job. It's sort of a call center job as well. People and their repulsive voices right in my ear all day long. Fuck. Me.
lunchtoast
Member
I once worked for a research call center for a month. We would call people asking them to do surveys. The only reason I did it is because I had some friends work there. I couldn't do it though. The fact of having to call person after person like a solicitor killed me. Left after a month. When I worked in IT it sucked too, having to answer calls from people with their idiotic problems. Some people were nice and understanding, but the higher ups could be some dicks sometime. I hate phone jobs.
I've been suffering from depression pretty much my whole life, sometimes I feel like I'm able to make it go away, but sometimes it comes back so heavily and just makes me want to give up. Sometimes it seems the littlest things triggers it.
I don't really want to talk about my personal issues as it's personal, and would be repeating a lot of what has been said in this thread anyways.
I just wanted to wish the best for everyone that is suffering from depression. I'm suffering from it at the moment and it's just such a horrible feeling. Making yourself do stuff you don't want to do, when you would rather just be alone with your thoughts of despair, but you cant do that, it only makes it worse, the only way to get better is to keep living life, despite how much you don't want to. That's what I've learned from my experience at least... I found that if I just stopped living life that my depression would only get worse.
Stay strong
I don't really want to talk about my personal issues as it's personal, and would be repeating a lot of what has been said in this thread anyways.
I just wanted to wish the best for everyone that is suffering from depression. I'm suffering from it at the moment and it's just such a horrible feeling. Making yourself do stuff you don't want to do, when you would rather just be alone with your thoughts of despair, but you cant do that, it only makes it worse, the only way to get better is to keep living life, despite how much you don't want to. That's what I've learned from my experience at least... I found that if I just stopped living life that my depression would only get worse.
Stay strong
ThisWreckage
Banned
Anyone have the experience of working a job you hate so much it basically kills your spirit, and turns your weekend into a torturous countdown to monday morning, but are too depressed and clueless about what else you'd do to look for another job? That's where I'm at right now. I'm already depressed, but this job is sucking the goddamn life out of me, and I have no idea how to go about looking for another one. I don't like what I'm doing right now (bank call center), but I have no experience/training/education in anything else, have no connections/network of people, and just the thought of doing interviews where I have to sell myself as someone they'd want to hire is a draining experience when my self-esteem and self-confidence are rock bottom.
Right now I'm just kind of sitting around dreading having to go back to work tomorrow at 7:30am. This job is fucking killing me.
I work two part time jobs in retail so I know where you are coming from. It's absolutely soul crushing.
College has made me feel really depressed this semester. I can't get a shit ! , it's depressing because the topics are "way too easy" according to my friends, but to me they seem near-impossible.
Not being smart really sucks, effort and hard work means nothing, what's the point if i'm going to waste the whole day trying to figure out the solution for a differential equation which the rest of the class does in like 5 minutes.
Not being smart really sucks, effort and hard work means nothing, what's the point if i'm going to waste the whole day trying to figure out the solution for a differential equation which the rest of the class does in like 5 minutes.
I suffered from depression pretty severely during my senior year of high school and the summer before I started college. When I say severely, it probably does not compare to other people here, but it definitely impacted my life negatively on numerous occasions. Hurt friendships, family, my own personal well-being, etc. The biggest reason, I think, why I suffered from depression is my own thoughts. I was the type that had these pre-conceived notions of what I wanted people to say or do, and if they didn't do them, I would take it personally. When something like that happened regarding a close friend, major event, or multiple times in quick succession, I almost surely would be depressed for a few days. In the summer, I was mainly depressed thinking about how quickly high school ended, losing friends, losing my best friend, moving away from home, nervousness about college, all these things.
I'm happy to say that since college, my depression problems have significantly decreased to almost non-existent currently. Main reason, I think, is that I keep my expectations in check. No longer do I expect something out of people that has little chance of happening. Some might see it as a bad happening to never expect anything out of people, but it keeps me happy (though perhaps sometimes emotionally distant?).
To those suffering, stay strong. I'm in no position to really give advice given my situation. However, I do think it's important to sort of self-identify what makes you upset/depressed. Obviously, this does not apply to everyone, or even majority. But for those who have depression spells like I did, try and find the cause. It might be curable by your own volition.
I'm happy to say that since college, my depression problems have significantly decreased to almost non-existent currently. Main reason, I think, is that I keep my expectations in check. No longer do I expect something out of people that has little chance of happening. Some might see it as a bad happening to never expect anything out of people, but it keeps me happy (though perhaps sometimes emotionally distant?).
To those suffering, stay strong. I'm in no position to really give advice given my situation. However, I do think it's important to sort of self-identify what makes you upset/depressed. Obviously, this does not apply to everyone, or even majority. But for those who have depression spells like I did, try and find the cause. It might be curable by your own volition.
My heart goes out whenever I see someone in their 40s working retail. In a perfect world, only teenagers and young adults should work retail while they are in school.Anyone have the experience of working a job you hate so much it basically kills your spirit, and turns your weekend into a torturous countdown to monday morning, but are too depressed and clueless about what else you'd do to look for another job? That's where I'm at right now. I'm already depressed, but this job is sucking the goddamn life out of me, and I have no idea how to go about looking for another one. I don't like what I'm doing right now (bank call center), but I have no experience/training/education in anything else, have no connections/network of people, and just the thought of doing interviews where I have to sell myself as someone they'd want to hire is a draining experience when my self-esteem and self-confidence are rock bottom.
Right now I'm just kind of sitting around dreading having to go back to work tomorrow at 7:30am. This job is fucking killing me.
I work at a theatre. It was cool for the first month or so, but now I hate it.
lunchtoast
Member
I watched Young Adult last night. Although I liked it, it made me feel pretty terrible, especially when Patton's character said "Guys like me are born loving girls like you."
lunchtoast
Member
edit-double post, gaf is all wonky tonight.
Anyone have the experience of working a job you hate so much it basically kills your spirit, and turns your weekend into a torturous countdown to monday morning, but are too depressed and clueless about what else you'd do to look for another job? That's where I'm at right now. I'm already depressed, but this job is sucking the goddamn life out of me, and I have no idea how to go about looking for another one. I don't like what I'm doing right now (bank call center), but I have no experience/training/education in anything else, have no connections/network of people, and just the thought of doing interviews where I have to sell myself as someone they'd want to hire is a draining experience when my self-esteem and self-confidence are rock bottom.
Right now I'm just kind of sitting around dreading having to go back to work tomorrow at 7:30am. This job is fucking killing me.
I'd be very inclined to agree with all of these. My mother did telemarketing for 15 years because she had kids to feed. Being on the phone is not something I'd ever apply for. Retail's pretty awful too - nothing will make you feel older faster than that.
This is still getting caught up in a negative thought pattern. I could dread going to school in the morning every monday, or having a mix deadline looming. I just don't think about them unless I have to. The more I run them over in my mind, well.. The more depressing they get, and they're not depressing things to do at their core.
As far as the actual work itself, you have to do whatever you can to change it. Vast oversimplification but all the more necessary. Unless you're a supreme court judge, there's a good chance you can change your career.
Oh yeah, it gets continually worse the less you do. For me it feels good in the first hour to quit my job or skip class or do some other irresponsible shit... Then the reality sets in and I feel much worse than I did before. Now everything's suddenly caving in for real.
How much do you practice? How much time do you devote to class? If there's difficulty, what are you doing to alleviate that?
Also, the point is your degree. Whether or not certain classes are pertinent is ultimately getting caught up in the details. I know it's hard to keep your eye on long term goals such as these, but it's very important.
lunchtoast
Member
For you personally, have you found out what life is worth living for?
Domino Theory
Crystal Dynamics
You could try to take L-Tyrosine which is an amino acid and not a chemical but it's known for its uplifting, anti-depressant effects. You can read reviews on Amazon for more information.
lunchtoast
Member
oh wow I'm going to look into this, thanks.
Even by the most casual meaning, I don't understand how an amino acid would fail to qualify as a chemical.
So ive been depressed for about 12 years now, diagnosed about 2 years ago, put on meds but they didnt seem to help so ive been off them for a while. I generally find it hard to function day to day, im lucky I have a job which doesnt require too much flexibility. Man im having a rough time of it at the moment, I got quite badly ill in december which ended early feb and since it was fixed ive just been scared shitless its going to come back, because the chances are it will. Last 2 weeks have been hellish really, its one of those situations where ive lived basically more of my life depressed than not, all of my adult life that way, I know no other way to live and it feels impossible to see a future where im not, or what that would even look like.
What the hell do you guys tell yourselves in this circumstance? Im seriously sat here clueless
What the hell do you guys tell yourselves in this circumstance? Im seriously sat here clueless
Not just a chemical, but a drug if it actually has the purported effects.
So I just called my insurance company and asked them what coverage would be like for seeing a psychologist, and it's a $900 deductible so it would be around $110-$120 per session (which is apparently a slightly reduced payment) for the first $900 and then 80% coverage after that. Plus meds if I were to go on them, of course. I can't afford that. So much for fixin my problems!
malingenie
Member
Not who the question was intended to, but in my case it is always that any experiences are better than no experiences. And if I had quit in my early twenties as I wanted to, I would have missed out on things that have literally given me tears of joy. But it won't be a 1950's propaganda video.
Douglas Quaid
Member
there isn't nothing worth living for
Mercury Fred
Banned
That's not what Kate Kane would say.
It saddens me that this will probably not go anywhere.
Speaking of which I wish I could somehow get some shrooms. :/
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
I'll have to try some shrooms then, I doubt I'd really ever go on traditional anti depressants out of fear of the side effects.
AzureNightmare
Banned
So I just found out there's a tumor in my mother's abdomen, and it could either be benign or cancerous, they don't know yet.
Sorry to hear that man. I don't have the closest relationship with my mom (complicated), but a year and a half ago when she had a skin cancer scare I was worried sick. Turned out to be nothing but it's a pretty awful and helpless feeling. Hope it's nothing in your mom's case.
I dont even know why im living anymore. Its like, theres no fucking point. I see so many people smiling and happy and in relationships it seems so alien to me, like im on another planet. I try to mimic things so well but i just dont have the natural ability. Im sick of working so hard every day trying to make a living and improve myself and getting nowhere. Still hindered by fatal flaws that will never be fixed. Im getting more manic now. I randomly cry about shit. I havent done that since my devastating high school years. Im 28 now. Best i can do these days is just distract myself with as much shit as possible to make me feel something different.
Wow reading this thread actually makes me feel quite a bit better about my own situation. I don't have any serious mental illnesses but i have a shy bladder and can't use urinals whatsoever. It sounds pretty funny but as soon as someone is within 15ft i just can't go. I can use a stall but if it's busy in the bathroom I'm screwed.
I was in a ROTC progam last semester and had to quit cause i just couldn't do the urinalysis. And i eventually figured out in the field you have no privacy what so ever and i could get someone killed if I'm worried about something else. While there was ups and downs in the program i've wanted to be in the military for as long as i remember and quitting was one of the toughest things i've had to. Everybody asks you and you have to awkwardly dodge the question, and you can tell everybody thinks your a total pussy.
Now i have so much time but i do nothing. I'm used to waking up early so i stay up late and go to class but I'm doing terrible in some of my classes. There are girls I'm interested in but i have to go back home next year because i have no money so I'm not pursuing that. I'm not pursuing any relationships actually. It's two months to the end of the semester and I'm just waiting it out.
But i just try to stay positive, read the bible, hit the gym, and just try to stay happy and look at the long term picture, which is actually pretty good. This phobia still hangs over me everyday but hopefully once i have more income i can get a good behavioral therapist and we can try to work to overcoming this. I look forward to the day I'm taking a pee with dudes all around me and I don't feel anxious, lock up at all
I was in a ROTC progam last semester and had to quit cause i just couldn't do the urinalysis. And i eventually figured out in the field you have no privacy what so ever and i could get someone killed if I'm worried about something else. While there was ups and downs in the program i've wanted to be in the military for as long as i remember and quitting was one of the toughest things i've had to. Everybody asks you and you have to awkwardly dodge the question, and you can tell everybody thinks your a total pussy.
Now i have so much time but i do nothing. I'm used to waking up early so i stay up late and go to class but I'm doing terrible in some of my classes. There are girls I'm interested in but i have to go back home next year because i have no money so I'm not pursuing that. I'm not pursuing any relationships actually. It's two months to the end of the semester and I'm just waiting it out.
But i just try to stay positive, read the bible, hit the gym, and just try to stay happy and look at the long term picture, which is actually pretty good. This phobia still hangs over me everyday but hopefully once i have more income i can get a good behavioral therapist and we can try to work to overcoming this. I look forward to the day I'm taking a pee with dudes all around me and I don't feel anxious, lock up at all
OpinionatedCyborg
Member
What about a psychiatrist? A psychiatrist's MO is to diagnose your illness and write a prescription for it. It could take as little was 1 - 2 visits before your psychiatrist is comfortable with a diagnosis and prescribes you medication. After you've found a medication that works, you will likely only visit your psychiatrist once every 6 - 8 months. I think this would be much more affordable than seeing a psychologist or a therapist (and more likely to be covered by your insurance?), but I am not familiar enough with the US medical system to know.
e: and your previous questions about meds... mirtazapine and bupropion are getting very popular nowadays. fewer undesirable side effects and some of the side effects may actually be positive (sleepiness of taking, increased appetite). they are also (mirtazapine in particular) easier to stop taking. there are more options available than the traditional SSRIs.
Mercury Fred
Banned
Wow, how nice of you to come in and let everyone know that their misery makes you feel better. What a great Christian you are.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
So my job search might be over, but I'm still freaking out here. I'm going to talk to a guy about being a stagehand tomorrow. I did some stuff like that in high school and was competent at it and he even said that no experience is needed. Still though, I'm so anxious about the whole thing and I hope it goes well.
lunchtoast
Member
Well, thanks for letting me know I have at least two years left before I get there.
ot-started watching season 1 of x-files. Damn Duchovny's got it going on.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
I know that by sitting around and doing nothing all day, nothing will ever change and that you have to seek out change in order to improve your life, but...how? I think I'm too depressed to do even that. I want to improve my life, whatever it takes, but I can't seem to find it in myself to take the first step...whatever that even means.
I said you have to manufacture willpower in a state of depression, and unfortunately it wasn't an empty sentiment. You do. It's not going to magically appear, and is probably the biggest catch 22 involved in beating depression.
pretty sure its a low dose, not high
- Status