Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!

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By the way, I posted on the last thread a couple of weeks ago asking for advice on thinking too much about somebody else while on a relationship...

I haven't actually worked on that but I think it was just me freaking out a bit and overthinking things. I wasn't really thinking about that other guy most of the time, instead I was thinking "I can't be thinking about him, why am I thinking about him?, stop thinking about him!" so I was just sort of constantly punishing myself for being aware of , maybe liking someone a bit more than I should but it's definitely something I should not lose my sleep for.

Don't know if that makes any sense.

Also the fact that I've been extremely busy with work for the last couple of weeks has helped me move on, at least for now.
 
I hate going to gay bars with just one other person. Everyone always thinks we're together.

Totally cramps my style.

So anyone gonna be in Chicago for IML?
 
BeesEight said:
Well, if you've been hitting things off in TC, doesn't that count as a connection? How long are you going to be in California?

I don't know if I want to encourage something that you may feel you're forcing. I guess my suggestion would be if you want to go through with it, give it a try but don't feel like you have to commit to anything. If you aren't comfortable with it, remember that you can always stop whenever you need to.

Have you mentioned this to the guy?
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I have. He actually said to me any type of relationship is a no go because he wants someone there. Which is why he is chasing after some little 18 year old. BUT he understands and he said if I dont want sex it's okay he's cool with just going to PMC with me.

He made it clear though he is down to whatever and made a note that he wanted me first. I think I'll go through with it.
 
gaybigaf.png


My gift to GayGAF.
 
New topic! Subscribing! I wanted to make a pun about the bears but I'm terrible at it :P

sublime085 said:
I hate going to gay bars with just one other person. Everyone always thinks we're together.
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I've met more people alone, but I've had a better time with groups, going alone is dangerous too, it sucks there aren't a lot of places to meet people outside of clubs.
 
Delio said:
I have. He actually said to me any type of relationship is a no go because he wants someone there. Which is why he is chasing after some little 18 year old. BUT he understands and he said if I dont want sex it's okay he's cool with just going to PMC with me.

He made it clear though he is down to whatever and made a note that he wanted me first. I think I'll go through with it.
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PMC? Private Military Company? What are you getting into in California?!

Well, if that's the case, have fun man and do what you feel most comfortable doing. Be safe and all that too and don't forget to share the gritty details when you get back.
 
victormartin said:
I haven't actually worked on that but I think it was just me freaking out a bit and overthinking things. I wasn't really thinking about that other guy most of the time, instead I was thinking "I can't be thinking about him, why am I thinking about him?, stop thinking about him!" so I was just sort of constantly punishing myself for being aware of , maybe liking someone a bit more than I should but it's definitely something I should not lose my sleep for.
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If you say you won't lose sleep over it then it should be ok. Is your relationship going smoothly? I don't think finding someone attractive or thinking about someone else while in a relationship is that bad (as you don't do anything :P). I mean, you can't really control what pops in your head.
sublime085 said:
I hate going to gay bars with just one other person. Everyone always thinks we're together.
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I usually go with my roomate to the clubs and everything is fine because we don't really look like a couple lol. I doubt I'm ever going alone though because I lack social skills and won't be able to talk to random strangers (Although once, when my roomate got a hookup and left me by myself at the club for a while, I had to ask someone else to dance with me so I wouldn't look like a loser dancing by myself D:).
 
I think I am reaching the bottom if this (no pun intended...)

in the last 3 months, I've been using this dating site with some amount of success, but as of today, I am really stressed and worn out with this nonsensical dating and writing messages and I am thinking of cancelling my profile all together but I am not sure...

one thing is sure, the thing I am looking for is NOT in that site, it just isn't, no matter how hard I look for it or how many profiles I browse through.

On the other hand, that site is my only connection to the gay world in this country where I know nobody, I am fearing I will get into some obscure behaviour making my senseless and or asexual... On the other hand, If I take some time, maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to feel something for somebody becuase so far, I meet these nice guys that I couldn't care any less for, getting to know any of them feels like a chore,...

I think I need a break, if my heart is out of service, why date then? Casual sex sucks for the most part anyway.
 
Delio said:
Oh my. More tell me more!
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nothing sexual happened lol, though they did stripped me of my clothes because they didnt want me to throw up on myself and have nothing to wear in the morning. All I remember was throwing up in the street and being carried to the car

They were fun and it was nice finally meeting more gay people for just friendship
 
SaintZ said:
If you say you won't lose sleep over it then it should be ok. Is your relationship going smoothly? I don't think finding someone attractive or thinking about someone else while in a relationship is that bad (as you don't do anything :P). I mean, you can't really control what pops in your head.
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Actually we had a bit of a fight last weekend over something trivial. My BF and I have very different personalities, usually it's fine but once in a while we really get on each others nerves. I might have overreacted due to the inner struggle I was having at the moment but I felt so much better after the fight (well after we made up the next morning) I think it kind of put things back into place for me.
 
Marius_ said:
nothing sexual happened lol, though they did stripped me of my clothes because they didnt want me to throw up on myself and have nothing to wear in the morning. All I remember was throwing up in the street and being carried to the car

They were fun and it was nice finally meeting more gay people for just friendship
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Aw well that sounds lovely. I really wish I knew more local gays around me. Would be fun to have some friends I can chill with.
 
sphinx said:
On the other hand, that site is my only connection to the gay world in this country where I know nobody, I am fearing I will get into some obscure behaviour making my senseless and or asexual... On the other hand, If I take some time, maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to feel something for somebody becuase so far, I meet these nice guys that I couldn't care any less for, getting to know any of them feels like a chore,...

I think I need a break, if my heart is out of service, why date then? Casual sex sucks for the most part anyway.
Click to expand...

Have you considered dating girls?
jokes

It might be a good idea to just hold back for a bit then. There isn't anything wrong with some alone time and if things aren't working out it might be good to take a break and focus on something else in your life for a bit.

And I promise I won't grumble about the fact that you're able to find dates in the first place.

red_13th said:
Barb's so dreamy. <3
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Of all the males, I thought only the DH was particularly good looking. And yet they went ahead and made all the girls pretty. Guess Blizzard knows their audience.

Delio said:
Power Morphicon, he's a 90's buff like me and wants to meet power rangers actors. So I said "hey come with me to that."
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And I was starting to like the idea of you being a military man.

SpaceBridge said:
Oh wow, new thread. Congrats GayGAF.
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You're alive!
 
sublime085 said:
I hate going to gay bars with just one other person. Everyone always thinks we're together.

Totally cramps my style.

So anyone gonna be in Chicago for IML?
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This keeps happening to me with girls, damn it >.> I need to stop having female friends, I'm too fucking flirty for my own good with them.
 
i_am_ben said:
ever had that moment when the clearly gay guy at work announces that he's getting married to a woman and there's an awkward silence as everyone looks at each other in astonishment?

'cos I had that on Friday and you could have heard a pin drop.
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Congratulations! What's her name?
 
BeesEight said:
Have you considered dating girls?
jokes

It might be a good idea to just hold back for a bit then. There isn't anything wrong with some alone time and if things aren't working out it might be good to take a break and focus on something else in your life for a bit.

And I promise I won't grumble about the fact that you're able to find dates in the first place.!
Click to expand...

It's done, I cancelled my profile over there, after 4 years of having it, with all the saved users and whatnot, I scrolled through them and all I was thinking was "escape while you can".. and I feel so very relieved. It really is time to work more on me, my job, my studies, my students, etc. I have been fighting against the fact that I just can't be serious regarding relationships with anyone, even if I tried. heart is out of service, it's a fact.

In that sense, I think I have been unintentionally hurting people.

Since March 15, when I moved into my "sinlge guy" apartment, I have had 4 dates...long story short, I was rejected once and rejected 3 other guys.

on that one rejection, I swore I had found the most beautiful german guy ever, gorgeous hands, gorgeous ass, the face of a nordic european god and for 2 days, I gave my best and took steps and all, and nothing, he just disappeared, I wished I had gotten a " hey, you are a nice guy, just not quite my type" but not even that. I even got somewhat sad 1 or 2 days because it wasn't going anywhere but I understand the rules and carry on.

but the other way around, 2 of the 3 guys have gone like "yeah, of course he ran away, everyone runs away from me cause I am a piece of shit, nothing new here"..... -_- .. and I feel VERY burdened and it really sucks, it's like I am asshole because I just couldn't like them and now I caused them a depression. It is not fair, those are the rules of the game.

It just got to complicated and I just can't be there anymore. I am doing everyone a disservice.

this thread is my only gay connection to the world, this and my group of friends in Facebook ^_^

EDIT: Dating a girl.. +_+ ... hehe I love girls :D but as friends, no need to do them a disservice as well
 
Mr_Zombie said:
Where do you draw a line between being gay and simply liking men?
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That was a joke, in case anyone else got confused. I'm way past debating whether or not I should take the gay label or not.

Having said that, I find it interesting how both straight and gay side always get tetchy when someone say something like this. Maybe it's because it tores the label apart and makes it difficult for people to generalize if someone is gay or straight.

But I think I'd like it better if we'd do away with labels and just fall in love with a person instead.
 
I came out to my mom with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, but she didn't take it very well. Other family members supported me but my mom just didn't get it. When I'm with him I couldn't be any happier, but she really didn't want me to be with him. Last night he told me we had to be just friends for now because of her which pretty much tore me apart; I couldn't stop crying. I just don't what to do, I feel so empty.
 
TwizzlerScribble said:
I came out to my mom with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, but she didn't take it very well. Other family members supported me but my mom just didn't get it. When I'm with him I couldn't be any happier, but she really didn't want me to be with him. Last night he told me we had to be just friends for now because of her which pretty much tore me apart; I couldn't stop crying. I just don't what to do, I feel so empty.
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:(

I'm terrified of the same thing happening to me. But your bf leaving you? That's not fucking fair. Not at all.

*hugs you*
 
TwizzlerScribble said:
I came out to my mom with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, but she didn't take it very well. Other family members supported me but my mom just didn't get it. When I'm with him I couldn't be any happier, but she really didn't want me to be with him. Last night he told me we had to be just friends for now because of her which pretty much tore me apart; I couldn't stop crying. I just don't what to do, I feel so empty.
Click to expand...

you should give time to your mom and specially, not so much info...

As honest and upfront you wanted to be, I think telling your mom you are gay AND showing her your boyfriend was too much for her to take. She probably hadn't pictured you as a gay man, much less making out with another one.

regarding you boyfriend.. damn, don't know, can you keep seeing each other? I am sure that a couple of weeks could fix things but he has to be willing to stay by your side somehow.
 
Nlroh said:
This always ends with misunderstandings. I wish I could stop being flirty with everyone.
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I like flirty people :D

I get to ask " Are you just like that or do you actually like me? ;) " I could picture you in a matrix-like slow motion for 2 seconds thinking about the right the answer, lol
 
sphinx said:
you should give time to your mom and specially, not so much info...

As honest and upfront you wanted to be, I think telling your mom you are gay AND showing her your boyfriend was too much for her to take. She probably hadn't pictured you as a gay man, much less making out with another one.

regarding you boyfriend.. damn, don't know, can you keep seeing each other? I am sure that a couple of weeks could fix things but he has to be willing to stay by your side somehow.
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Yeah I now realize that it was bit of a mistake to do something like that.
Billiechu said:
:(

I'm terrified of the same thing happening to me. But your bf leaving you? That's not fucking fair. Not at all.

*hugs you*
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Thanks :)
 
sphinx said:
this thread is my only gay connection to the world, this and my group of friends in Facebook ^_^

EDIT: Dating a girl.. +_+ ... hehe I love girls :D but as friends, no need to do them a disservice as well
Click to expand...

How long have you been in Germany? If you're just looking for friends are there any social groups or clubs you could possibly join?

Girls as friends are a lot less hassle than as dates. You want to know crazy...?

TwizzlerScribble said:
I came out to my mom with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, but she didn't take it very well. Other family members supported me but my mom just didn't get it. When I'm with him I couldn't be any happier, but she really didn't want me to be with him. Last night he told me we had to be just friends for now because of her which pretty much tore me apart; I couldn't stop crying. I just don't what to do, I feel so empty.
Click to expand...

That sounds really shitty. Your mom taking it hard isn't that unexpected (from a complete stranger's perspective, obviously I don't know your family) but I'm a little surprised the bf decided to dump you because of it. Seems to say a lot about him.


Man, Desmond has to be least likeable part of Assassin's Creed. Though I laughed during the section where you're "retention" of Ezio's skills are put to the test by turning on the modern security system. Lisa or whatever the blonde chicks name is seemed really impressed with my abilities to walk across the warehouse floor, climb a few ladders and turn a few switches. Yup, that's obviously demonstrating that I've learned assassin skills. Silly broad.
 
BeesEight said:
Man, Desmond has to be least likeable part of Assassin's Creed. Though I laughed during the section where you're "retention" of Ezio's skills are put to the test by turning on the modern security system. Lisa or whatever the blonde chicks name is seemed really impressed with my abilities to walk across the warehouse floor, climb a few ladders and turn a few switches. Yup, that's obviously demonstrating that I've learned assassin skills. Silly broad.
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I really don't get peoples problems with Desmond. He isn't... bad...?

Also Lucy: Keep playing. You'll see.
 
BeesEight said:
How long have you been in Germany? If you're just looking for friends are there any social groups or clubs you could possibly join?

Girls as friends are a lot less hassle than as dates. You want to know crazy...?
Click to expand...

20 steps from my door, there is this "Rat und Tat für Schwule und Lesben" club (roughly translated into "Advice and Actions for Gays and Lesbians"), the guy that rejected me is honorary member of the crew and took me there in that one date.. besides not wanting to see him again only to remember he doesn't want me, the people there were weird and not very friendly, gays here are sometimes too bitchy, I understand that bitchiness is standard in gay culture but I wished more people understood the difference between friendly bitchiness and being-an-asshole bitchiness.

what do you mean with the bolded?.. crazy.. mmh girls??

Billiechu said:
Welcome to my nightmare!
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what is the nightmare exactly? you mean you get friendzoned by girls all the time?
 
Billiechu said:
Girls are so crazy but so, so attractive. Guys are way simpler.
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you sure about that? I'd say guys are as crazy as girls but in different ways. :)

The one thing I notice is that girls are free and men are more like prisoners of their own preconceptions. (hard to explain, sorry if that didn't make any sesne)
 
sphinx said:
you sure about that? I'd say guys are as crazy as girls but in different ways. :)

The one thing I notice is that girls are free and men are more like prisoners of their own preconceptions. (hard to explain, sorry if that didn't make any sesne)
Click to expand...

Hey, I'm trans. I understand guys better than most girls ;)

Try adding being a trans woman onto the restrictions guys have to go through. NOT A VERY GOOD WAY TO LIVE.
 
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