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[SleepyJohn11]

Yep, going to try to sign up to a gym and a have personal trainer to push.

I feel like being depressed is connected to me never pushing myself in fitness in a long time. Just lost complete desire to sit around on the computer all day.

Been seeing a counselor too, also a nice means to open up.

 

[SlipperySlope]

Oh. My. God.

At the beginning of this year, I had two reasons to continue. I just lost the second one today. ... don't know what I'm going to do. I have... nothing. Nothing at all.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

Oh. My. God.

At the beginning of this year, I had two reasons to continue. I just lost the second one today. ... don't know what I'm going to do. I have... nothing. Nothing at all.

What happened?

 

[SlipperySlope]

What happened?

It's complicated. I was trying to turn friendships into relationships. A lot of work and effort. The second one just fell through. I'm not friends with either of them anymore (don't think the second ever truly saw me as a friend, I think she was using me).

I know what I was attempting had long odds, but it's all I had going for me. I hit up dating sites every day or two (only send one message a day max, I hate rejection), bars and what not. Never get any biters. I tried calling all of my ex's recently that I could possibly restart things with. Nope.

Nothing. I have literally zero prospects. Totally empty. Don't know what to do. And before it gets brought up, I have been going to the gym and running 2 miles a day. It's not helping with my mental condition.

I feel hollow.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

It's complicated. I was trying to turn friendships into relationships. A lot of work and effort. The second one just fell through. I'm not friends with either of them anymore (don't think the second ever truly saw me as a friend, I think she was using me).

I know what I was attempting had long odds, but it's all I had going for me. I hit up dating sites every day or two (only send one message a day max, I hate rejection), bars and what not. Never get any biters. I tried calling all of my ex's recently that I could possibly restart things with. Nope.

That sucks. :/

Nothing. I have literally zero prospects. Totally empty. Don't know what to do.

I feel hollow.

Same here.

 

[MisterLuffy]

It's complicated. I was trying to turn friendships into relationships. A lot of work and effort. The second one just fell through. I'm not friends with either of them anymore (don't think the second ever truly saw me as a friend, I think she was using me).

I know what I was attempting had long odds, but it's all I had going for me. I hit up dating sites every day or two (only send one message a day max, I hate rejection), bars and what not. Never get any biters. I tried calling all of my ex's recently that I could possibly restart things with. Nope.

Nothing. I have literally zero prospects. Totally empty. Don't know what to do. And before it gets brought up, I have been going to the gym and running 2 miles a day. It's not helping with my mental condition.

I feel hollow.

I'm sorry to hear that.

 

[neojubei]

Had a bad day at therapy yesterday. I was talking about trying to lose weight and how i don't want to go back to japan the same fat guy i am now and how i want to wear certain clothes and feel good about myself. Well i think he was trying to convince me that there are "healthy fat people in this world" I told him i really do not care about those people only about myself and how i do not want to be fat. Rubbed me the wrong way and now i am pissed off even thinking about it now. if i have to be fat all my life i might as well shoot myself in the head. i will never ever accept it. It isn't fair others get to have a nice body wear clothes that fit them well and make them look good. i am so tired being fat it is so depressing to go to clubs or bars and feel like the fattest thing there. i think i might change therapists or something.

 

[Xun]

Had a bad day at therapy yesterday. I was talking about trying to lose weight and how i don't want to go back to japan the same fat guy i am now and how i want to wear certain clothes and feel good about myself. Well i think he was trying to convince me that there are "healthy fat people in this world" I told him i really do not care about those people only about myself and how i do not want to be fat. Rubbed me the wrong way and now i am pissed off even thinking about it now. if i have to be fat all my life i might as well shoot myself in the head. i will never ever accept it. It isn't fair others get to have a nice body wear clothes that fit them well and make them look good. i am so tired being fat it is so depressing to go to clubs or bars and feel like the fattest thing there. i think i might change therapists or something.

It'll probably help man.

What's your diet like? I'd suggest changing your diet at first if you want to lose weight, and then start to slowly bring in exercise.

 

[neojubei]

It'll probably help man.

What's your diet like? I'd suggest changing your diet at first if you want to lose weight, and then start to slowly bring in exercise.

I'm just feeling immense rage right now just thinking about this.

 

[Xun]

I'm just feeling immense rage right now just thinking about this.

Wait what, was it something I've said?

I didn't mean to offend in anyway.

 

[neojubei]

Wait what, was it something I've said?

Upset at what my therapist said. i am not going to accept being fat. never ever.

I think being fat and gay both have been a huge contribution to my depression. I wish there was a way to to not be gay.

Home alone, sort thinking if i died tonight no one would know until a few days later. my mother and sister went to texas for the weekend so i am here alone drinking and thinking. Thinking even if i lose the weight guys i like do not like me one bit. its like my whole life is some butt of a joke or something. Guys I wanted to date were either straight, into other types or just do not want me. Wondering how my family would feel if they found me dead in the bathroom. its not like i will miss anything i never had. Even looking online guys i like definitely do not want me. it would be worth it not to feel so rejected or an outcast. everywhere i go and everything i do turns to crap. i turned off all the light in this house. i wish i could just have some peace.

I've always put myself out there only to be rejected so often so many times. all i can do is sit here and think about all my failures in life. i really wish i could vanish and just not exist in anyone's memories.

 

[MisterLuffy]

I've always put myself out there only to be rejected so often so many times. all i can do is sit here and think about all my failures in life. i really wish i could vanish and just not exist in anyone's memories.

I keep asking myself "Why do I exist?" my friends and family are doing a lot better than me. I just want to escape and relax from everything. I keep telling myself that I'm worthless human being who doesn't have the motivation of changing his life. I keep hiding my horrible secrets from my family, but some of my friends know what I did. However, they didn't seem to care because it's natural but when it comes to my family it's not. Either way I feel disgusted with myself.

 

[starchild excalibur]

It isn't fair others get to have a nice body wear clothes that fit them well and make them look good. i am so tired being fat it is so depressing to go to clubs or bars and feel like the fattest thing there. i think i might change therapists or something.

These people (and I'm certainly not one of them, trust me) work hard to get to this state. They may make it look effortless, but even the ones that the average person may consider the most shallow work hard to get those nice bodies. It's not an issue of what's fair, it's an issue of how hard you're willing to change your situation.

Upset at what my therapist said. i am not going to accept being fat. never ever.

This is great to hear from you, so why not take up the advice that other people posted just earlier on this page with cutting carbs and monitoring intake? I know it's not something that will change over night and you will probably have days where you slip and gorge yourself, but as long as you're trying then it'll work itself out. And you'll feel much more proud about yourself than I'm sure you would if you just assume it won't work without any effort.

Like another poster said earlier - everyone here is trying to support and encourage you. None of it is going to help if you don't support and encourage yourself, though. Sometimes it's easier to just assume nothing will get better and not put in the effort than it is to keep trying. You have the strength to keep trying and I hope you do.

I won't assume to know what you're going through, but as for me I've lost the family member I was closest to in the past half year, have been in the worst shape in my whole life, constantly feel like I haven't matured both sexually and in developing sexual relationships and don't know what job prospects I have right now. Still, I'm trying to slowly come to terms with the death of my brother, have recently starting reading up more on health and have started practicing keto (low carb consumption and have lost a few pounds this past week), have started trying to get out more and talk to more women (not to start relationships, just to get more comfortable with talking) and will be getting back to working on more projects that will hopefully yield better job prospects down the road. I was near suicidal after my brother's death and now I'm at least able to enjoy life to a better degree than I used to. I'm not perfect - I still get depressed and cry and bargain for his life with nonexistent beings - but I'm getting better.

Time can either help or hurt and it all depends on what you decide to do during this period of time.

 

[neojubei]

I keep asking myself "Why do I exist?" my friends and family are doing a lot better than me. I just want to escape and relax from everything. I keep telling myself that I'm worthless human being who doesn't have the motivation of changing his life. I keep hiding my horrible secrets from my family, but some of my friends know what I did. However, they didn't seem to care because it's natural but when it comes to my family it's not. Either way I feel disgusted with myself.

I feel the same everyday. There are so many better looking guys than me with better personalities so why would anyone want to be with me.

These people (and I'm certainly not one of them, trust me) work hard to get to this state. They may make it look effortless, but even the ones that the average person may consider the most shallow work hard to get those nice bodies. It's not an issue of what's fair, it's an issue of how hard you're willing to change your situation.



This is great to hear from you, so why not take up the advice that other people posted just earlier on this page with cutting carbs and monitoring intake? I know it's not something that will change over night and you will probably have days where you slip and gorge yourself, but as long as you're trying then it'll work itself out. And you'll feel much more proud about yourself than I'm sure you would if you just assume it won't work without any effort.

Like another poster said earlier - everyone here is trying to support and encourage you. None of it is going to help if you don't support and encourage yourself, though. Sometimes it's easier to just assume nothing will get better and not put in the effort than it is to keep trying. You have the strength to keep trying and I hope you do.

I won't assume to know what you're going through, but as for me I've lost the family member I was closest to in the past half year, have been in the worst shape in my whole life, constantly feel like I haven't matured both sexually and in developing sexual relationships and don't know what job prospects I have right now. Still, I'm trying to slowly come to terms with the death of my brother, have recently starting reading up more on health and have started practicing keto (low carb consumption and have lost a few pounds this past week), have started trying to get out more and talk to more women (not to start relationships, just to get more comfortable with talking) and will be getting back to working on more projects that will hopefully yield better job prospects down the road. I was near suicidal after my brother's death and now I'm at least able to enjoy life to a better degree than I used to. I'm not perfect - I still get depressed and cry and bargain for his life with nonexistent beings - but I'm getting better.

Time can either help or hurt and it all depends on what you decide to do during this period of time.

It's hard for me to think clearly sometimes especially when I am very depressed.

 

[neojubei]

Can anyone help me quit this awful job i have? I know I need to get myself together. Resume, cover letter, new suit or even interview clothes. I've been at this shitty job for 8 years now and i really need to get out of here. I had a long conversation about this with my sister last night but it just feels impossible. i know i do not want to be unhappy stuck with this job like my mother though it feels i am stuck with her bad luck with everything. Somehow my sister lucked out and has a career she loves. She acts as though i already know what i want to do. I am much older than her and yet it seems i cannot grow up internally as if there is some mental block in my head. What I really want to do seems so faraway right now. A long time ago I wanted to be a translate books from Japanese to English and vice versa however I haven't kept up with my Japanese studies and since i am poor I could not live in Japan as I wanted to do after college. Now I am way into my 30s with no prospects. I feel like just walking out of this job right now and in front of a train.

 

[Out of Working Order]

Somebody I knew went to Japan to teach English, and has lived there for the past five years. Could you not do that for a job there?

Is there something you wouldn't mind doing in the meantime, like an outdoors job, while you figure out what you want for a career? Something to get you away from the job you hate quickly?

Could your sister help you get in where she works?

 

[Vicetrailia]

I want money

 

[neojubei]

Somebody I knew went to Japan to teach English, and has lived there for the past five years. Could you not do that for a job there?

Is there something you wouldn't mind doing in the meantime, like an outdoors job, while you figure out what you want for a career? Something to get you away from the job you hate quickly?

Could your sister help you get in where she works?

I do know. I thought about teaching in Japan but I am not good with talking in front of others. Also I've read a lot about teaching abroad and I do know if that is what i want to do. I do not want to live in a hostel or something like that with a group of people I don't know.

I've been looking online for jobs just cannot find one or should I say find one I am qualified for.

I swear I wish i can lay down somewhere and just sleep and never wake up.

 

[Charoncaori]

neojubei, you could try to start by changing one thing in your life... I can't give you job advice, but if you can just change things in your life you have power over bit by bit it'll slowly help you feel better...

And as someone with thyroid issues, maybe you could tell your doctor you need a higher dose. I've been told that a lot of cases of hypothyroidism (not sure about hyper) are undermedicated because the doctors are estimating what a normal level is for you, and could be getting it wrong. It can definitely cause depression.

That won't fix all your problems, but maybe it could give you the energy to try... sorry if I'm giving unsolicited advice.

 

[neojubei]

neojubei, you could try to start by changing one thing in your life... I can't give you job advice, but if you can just change things in your life you have power over bit by bit it'll slowly help you feel better...

And as someone with thyroid issues, maybe you could tell your doctor you need a higher dose. I've been told that a lot of cases of hypothyroidism (not sure about hyper) are undermedicated because the doctors are estimating what a normal level is for you, and could be getting it wrong. It can definitely cause depression.

That won't fix all your problems, but maybe it could give you the energy to try... sorry if I'm giving unsolicited advice.

Thanks for the advice. I think i will take 3 pills instead of the one ive been taking. I'm quite tired of going back and forth with my doctor and therapist since both seem to not be able to help me at all. i know the one thing i need to change now is my job. i cannot stand having to listen to angry people all day. it totally ruins my mood, makes me even more anti-social, sometimes i think i will just explode with negative emotions on someone so i try and distance myself from people after work. i do not want to be here for another year let alone 10 or 20 years. there is no advancement here either. only thing i got going for me is a good health plan.

 

[(._.)]

Had a bad day at therapy yesterday. I was talking about trying to lose weight and how i don't want to go back to japan the same fat guy i am now and how i want to wear certain clothes and feel good about myself. Well i think he was trying to convince me that there are "healthy fat people in this world" I told him i really do not care about those people only about myself and how i do not want to be fat. Rubbed me the wrong way and now i am pissed off even thinking about it now. if i have to be fat all my life i might as well shoot myself in the head. i will never ever accept it. It isn't fair others get to have a nice body wear clothes that fit them well and make them look good. i am so tired being fat it is so depressing to go to clubs or bars and feel like the fattest thing there. i think i might change therapists or something.

Don't mind me asking but do you have a health condition or something? Or are you naturally just bigger so it will be hard for you to lose weight? You definitely can lose weight if you tried. It's harder for some and many people fail multiple times before they get it right but it is totally possible for you to lose weight. Why don't you take a day to just google and plan some things out? A work out plan, a diet, etc... I'm just starting to get back into working out and it is hard to keep with so you aren't alone.

 

[neojubei]

Don't mind me asking but do you have a health condition or something? Or are you naturally just bigger so it will be hard for you to lose weight? You definitely can lose weight if you tried. It's harder for some and many people fail multiple times before they get it right but it is totally possible for you to lose weight. Why don't you take a day to just google and plan some things out? A work out plan, a diet, etc... I'm just starting to get back into working out and it is hard to keep with so you aren't alone.

I don't have a health condition outside of my thyroid and mental health. My therapist suggested gastro bypass but i think i want to lose weight the normal way. i do want to end up with layers of excess skin. I do need to work on a diet plan and stop going to dunkin donuts and burger king.


I wish i had more friends or just people to talk to face to face. my only friend is a straight guy who i know through working with his mother. he is very anti-gay so i cannot really be myself around him. I tried meetup.com but i dont have any interest or hobbies that match with that website. ok i decided to join a Japanese language meet up and a skating meetup, hopefully they do not reject me.

 

[Bel Marduk]

I wonder if people would understand that life has become unbearable and suicide is the only way out. Would they ever forgive someone for doing it? Would it lead to long-term depression even if the entire world were better off if someone killed themselves?

 

[Jimothy]

I hung out with a girl for the first time in my life tonight.

Finished the date with a hug.

We're going out again on Thursday, and I'm definitely gonna try to make a move.

It gets better, guys.

 

[neojubei]

I hung out with a girl for the first time in my life tonight.

Finished the date with a hug.

We're going out again on Thursday, and I'm definitely gonna try to make a move.

It gets better, guys.

Please don't use the it gets better line. Happy it got better for you but it never got better for me.

 

[Uchip]

I hung out with a girl for the first time in my life tonight.

Finished the date with a hug.

We're going out again on Thursday, and I'm definitely gonna try to make a move.

It gets better, guys.

not when you go on a date with an amazing girl and you're too depressed to care...

 

[Atrus]

Hey, does anybody have a form of bipolar that could help me with something. I have been seeing a doctor about random episodes of depression and other weird moods, but haven't seen him since he gave me a number to ring, which was to make cognitive therapy sessions.

I haven't been to the doctors since spring, mainly because I haven't had a serious issue in the meantime and I still haven't gotten to ringing up the number. I have been put on anti depressants once, but the doctor decided it wasn't the best course of treatment because the moods I have come on so fast, and I don't always feel depressed.

I am about to break up for the summer holidays (which is a happy time) but just today I feel really shit, hopefully it will pass, but if it doesn't, does anybody know of any methods I can use to uplift my attitude because at the moment I just feel like sitting and staring at a wall :/ I don't even have the motivation to do things I normally enjoy.

There's no definitive way to overcome bipolar disorder through lifestyle changes due to the biological aspect of it. My will is pretty much absolute and yet I still struggle to control my downs though I've become fairly good at it to the point where I'll have years between a bad down.

Bi-polar disorders are an oscillation between two sides, an up and a down.

If you control it and limit the huge extreme swings, you'll likely end up with tiny oscillations and therefore have a lot of smaller ups and downs. Any down is pretty much shit.

An ordered routine helps such as waking up really early in the morning at the exact same time, sleeping before midnight, not missing meals, exercise after work, skipping fast foods, not sitting in silence (have radio music playing), and exposing yourself to maximum daylight helps a lot. Emphasizing more order in your life to combat disorder can save you from many social problems.

 

[Feep]

I wonder if people would understand that life has become unbearable and suicide is the only way out. Would they ever forgive someone for doing it? Would it lead to long-term depression even if the entire world were better off if someone killed themselves?

This is one of the most typical quotes I hear with depressed people, and it's almost always untrue (I suppose I can make exceptions for genuinely evil people). Can you give an example of how the world would be better without you? Deaths for your family members/friends are often incredibly stressful, painful, and expensive, you're contributing to the economy if you're working and/or buying things, and you can easily make a difference in the future, even if you haven't now, with adoption, charity, community service, et cetera. The only things you can do to actively hurt the world are generally crimes, and I doubt you do those.

 

[Jimothy]

Please don't use the it gets better line. Happy it got better for you but it never got better for me.

Yeah, on the second thought, that post was pretty douchey of me, and I apologize. I normally hate the "it gets better" shit as well, but I was in a very good mood for the first time in a while when I wrote it. Sorry for peddling that BS.

 

[neojubei]

This is one of the most typical quotes I hear with depressed people, and it's almost always untrue (I suppose I can make exceptions for genuinely evil people). Can you give an example of how the world would be better without you? Deaths for your family members/friends are often incredibly stressful, painful, and expensive, you're contributing to the economy if you're working and/or buying things, and you can easily make a difference in the future, even if you haven't now, with adoption, charity, community service, et cetera. The only things you can do to actively hurt the world are generally crimes, and I doubt you do those.

Why contribute to a world that you suffer in?

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

It's complicated. I was trying to turn friendships into relationships. A lot of work and effort. The second one just fell through. I'm not friends with either of them anymore (don't think the second ever truly saw me as a friend, I think she was using me).

I know what I was attempting had long odds, but it's all I had going for me. I hit up dating sites every day or two (only send one message a day max, I hate rejection), bars and what not. Never get any biters. I tried calling all of my ex's recently that I could possibly restart things with. Nope.

Nothing. I have literally zero prospects. Totally empty. Don't know what to do. And before it gets brought up, I have been going to the gym and running 2 miles a day. It's not helping with my mental condition.

I feel hollow.

I think you were mistaken to try and force friendships into relationships to begin with. Despite the fact that I really loathed the book, the authors of 'connected' may have a solid point with the idea that most people use their "social capital", which in this case is defined as the people you have friendships with, to gain more of it. Like facebook, the properties of your friends suggest other people that you could be friends with. The point that I am referring to with the cited book however, is that your friends will also automatically be 'on the lookout' for possible romantic connections that might fit [with you].
Part of this might be felt to be a bit condescending, since nobody likes to be pushed by another person into coupling (not sure if that's the correct word), but they might actually be right about it. I've seen it happen myself, so I have become a bit more convinced that the argument makes sense.

So instead of trying to turn friendships into relationships, you should (imo) learn to separate sex, compassion, and love from each other. Friends who don't want to be anything more than friends or fuckbuddies (not every sexual partner is romantic, if fact few are) will not take kindly to the unwanted push into the 'more than friends' territory.
But they might eventually point you towards other relations of theirs, that might be a near instant match. No one can predict when or how this will happen, but when it does, it will clear as day to everyone that it has.

in short: respect the distance people want, but keep adding to your circle of friends. Eventually, there is a pretty good chance you might get what you need from the collective effort.

 

[MisterLuffy]

Please don't use the it gets better line. Happy it got better for you but it never got better for me.

I know, people kept saying that to me. It's like it's the only advice to give us because they don't know what else they're going to say when hearing our issues.

 

[MisterLuffy]

I seriously hate when my parents say that someone younger than me has a job or car and I don't. It makes me hate my life even more. I don't know what's the point of living if I can't even help myself.

 

[Feep]

Why contribute to a world that you suffer in?

What does this have to do with my point? He is saying that he thinks the world would be better without him. He is contributing. So are you, by buying shit.

I seriously hate when my parents say that someone younger than me has a job or car and I don't. It makes me hate my life even more. I don't know what's the point of living if I can't even help myself.

Tell your parents to stuff it. Honestly. Ask them why Mark Zuckerberg is only 28, and has made literally several hundred thousand times what your parents will in a lifetime. I guess they're failures, then, huh?

Comparing yourself to others is a recipe for disaster. Not the mention that material possessions are a very poor indicator of how happy someone is...some of the most depressed people I know are also the most wealthy.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

Tell your parents to stuff it. Honestly. Ask them why Mark Zuckerberg is only 28, and has made literally several hundred thousand times what your parents will in a lifetime. I guess they're failures, then, huh?

The current economic-cultural ideology that everything is a choice is a real bitch though. You can tell them to stuff it, but they really don't know how else things would be or how the current world works because their experience (and insults by their parents on them) don't have much value any more at this point.

And we should also not put to much focus on drop-outs who were basically already 'made' by the time they dropped out. That said, I know quite a few people who dropped their degree and have much more to show for it than those that did.

Maybe this guy is on to something: Why you will fail to have a great career
It's a good talk, but you should watch / read Ken Robinson's "the Element" along with it to get what he is talking about.

 

[(._.)]

I seriously hate when my parents say that someone younger than me has a job or car and I don't. It makes me hate my life even more. I don't know what's the point of living if I can't even help myself.

I hope you're at least being helpful around the house if you are currently unemployed. There is nothing wrong if you don't have a job for whatever reason but you should be trying to keep busy because sitting around will only make you more depressed.

 

[MisterLuffy]

I hope you're at least being helpful around the house if you are currently unemployed. There is nothing wrong if you don't have a job for whatever reason but you should be trying to keep busy because sitting around will only make you more depressed.

I know, it's so depressing staying at home all day and not doing anything, I can't wait for my summer class to start. At least I have that to keep me going through my summer break. But I still want a job, but I'm just too lazy right now. And even though I apply all places or more than once, there is little chance of me ever getting a job. I don't have a car and taking bus is to irritating because to time constraints. I don't even have a permit for god's sake. I failed twice on a written test and have one more chance to pass. Man my life is so upside down that I'm not even laughing. I just want to leave and never come back, you know. I keep thinking everyday on how it's better if I don't exist anymore because I'm a huge burden on my family. My dad still works to keep us warm and what do I do, absolutely nothing.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

I know, it's so depressing staying at home all day and not doing anything, I can't wait for my summer class to start. At least I have that to keep me going through my summer break. But I still want a job, but I'm just too lazy right now. And even though I apply all places or more than once, there is little chance of me ever getting a job. I don't have a car and taking bus is to irritating because to time constraints. I don't even have a permit for god's sake. I failed twice on a written test and have one more chance to pass. Man my life is so upside down that I'm not even laughing. I just want to leave and never come back, you know. I keep thinking everyday on how it's better if I don't exist anymore because I'm a huge burden on my family. My dad still works to keep us warm and what do I do, absolutely nothing.

I'm in pretty much the same situation, except I'm not taking any classes and I haven't applied for a job anywhere.

 

[(._.)]

I know, it's so depressing staying at home all day and not doing anything, I can't wait for my summer class to start. At least I have that to keep me going through my summer break. But I still want a job, but I'm just too lazy right now. And even though I apply all places or more than once, there is little chance of me ever getting a job. I don't have a car and taking bus is to irritating because to time constraints. I don't even have a permit for god's sake. I failed twice on a written test and have one more chance to pass. Man my life is so upside down that I'm not even laughing. I just want to leave and never come back, you know. I keep thinking everyday on how it's better if I don't exist anymore because I'm a huge burden on my family. My dad still works to keep us warm and what do I do, absolutely nothing.

I think if you keep at it though and get yourself on a schedule you will start feeling a little better. Think of it this way: your life is boring and depressing so getting up and following a schedule can't be much worse, can it? force yourself to get up no later that 10 am and be in bed by 3am. if you need extra sleep plan accordingly but always be up by 10 am. this will be very hard but try your best. try to apply for as many jobs as possible and maybe bring a book or listen to music when you ride the bus to work if you get a job. sitting around and just being lazy will only keep you in your current state. that is 100% certain. going out and trying to keep busy by finding a job etc does hold the chance of something paying off though.

 

[Amory]

Been feeling terrible lately. I made the decision to move up to Boston from CT last year because all of my friends had moved up here and I genuinely like the city. Took me the better part of a year to find a job, and when I finally ended up moving all the friends I have that were living up here ended up moving away for one reason or another.

Basically all I had at that point was my girlfriend of almost 3 years, she's living in southern New Hampshire and I got to see her a few times a week. But the relationship wasn't making me happy anymore and I broke it off a couple months ago. Since then I've pretty much been alone. Mutual friends we shared in the area stopped contacting me, people I've known for years and years. I guess because they think I'm an asshole for leaving her, though I tried to do it in as kind a way as possible, because I did love her. I guess she just got into graduate school and they're all going out tonight to celebrate. I dunno what school, because no one will talk to me. I didn't even know she had applied.

It's really hard for me to meet new people. I want to really bad, but I've always been very shy. I'm not ugly, or terribly out of shape, and I'm fun to be around once you get to know me, but I have no ability to just relax and initiate conversation.

On top of everything, I work 12 hour night shifts, 7pm to 7am. I almost literally can't sleep during the day, I average about 2 or 3 hours if I'm lucky. Then on my off days I shift back to sleeping at night and then when I work again I have to try to readjust. I'm tired all the time.

I'm on zoloft already and it helps with my anxiety, but only social interaction is gonna help me at this point, I think.

I'm not at all suicidal, but lately I just really don't give a shit about life.

 

[neojubei]

Feeling pretty down today. I should have gone to the gym 4 hours ago but didn't leave my room, should have cleaned but do not have the energy to do it. I joined this Japanese group on meetup.com but now i am having second thoughts about going on Wednesday. I already know i will be the oldest guy there so everything will be awkward.

Reading some stuff online has also dampened my mood. Read so statistics yesterday which made me feel even worse even now that i think about it. I don't have any prospects, no kids, no obligations so why am i even alive. Reading those statistics made me realize i probably will never date let alone find a boyfriend. I don't have many friends or just people i can speak with that can understand me at all. I think that is the joke of my life. I'm sick of people laughing off my problems like if it was a minor thing.

My therapist isn't help at all. in fact i dont think anyone can. I have so many thoughts of just stabbing myself in the chest or filling up my bathtub and taking a lot of sleeping pills and drown in the water.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

Reading some stuff online has also dampened my mood. Read so statistics yesterday which made me feel even worse even now that i think about it. I don't have any prospects, no kids, no obligations so why am i even alive. Reading those statistics made me realize i probably will never date let alone find a boyfriend. I don't have many friends or just people i can speak with that can understand me at all.

You might want to consider getting a dog then.

Some people show remarkable results when they have to care for something that cares for them just the same. It's not your friend by default of course, it is a dog. But it can be a good friend when you learn how to treat it correctly for what it is.
And of course: you get free exercise and a good excuse to be around other people on the street.

 

[neojubei]

You might want to consider getting a dog then.

Some people show remarkable results when they have to care for something that cares for them just the same. It's not your friend by default of course, it is a dog. But it can be a good friend when you learn how to treat it correctly for what it is.
And of course: you get free exercise and a good excuse to be around other people on the street.

Thanks but i hate animals.

 

[Xeke]

Thanks but i hate animals.

Learn to love them. Change. A dog will not only give you a reason to get up in the morning but will help to create social interaction because everybody loves a dog, not to mention the physical benefit of having to walk the dog.

I fail to see how anyone can really hate animals. That is an issue in and of itself. They've been companions to humans for thousands of years.

I grew up with dogs and I have a little cat now. Pets are amazing because they don't judge you. Most of my good friends have moved away from here so I am looking to make more but it's nice to know that when I get home everyday my cat is super excited just to see me and purrs like no tomorrow when I pet her. Pets just want your attention and love. They really provide the closest thing to unconditional love and company when you can't be with people.

 

[Xun]

Thanks but i hate animals.

How can anyone hate this?

 

[Xeke]

How can anyone hate this?

Yeah really. I'd like to hear how anyone can hate animals. They just want your attention and love and give it back like no human could.

 

[neojubei]

Yeah really. I'd like to hear how anyone can hate animals. They just want your attention and love and give it back like no human could.

I took care of an old friend's dog once for a weekend and it was terrible. Never again.

 

[Uchip]

Thanks but i hate animals.

I don't even know what to say to this
things like kittens get me through hard times with pure cuteness

 

[Xeke]

I took care of an old friend's dog once for a weekend and it was terrible. Never again.

Taking care of a friends pet over the weekend isn't even close to having your own pet.

 

[neojubei]

Taking care of a friends pet over the weekend isn't even close to having your own pet.

I'm just not an animal person.