How to Drive in America: a guide for Brits.

Status
Not open for further replies.
Sarcasm said:
Most of that sounds like California driving. If you want to see crappy driving come to Asia. Over here its the land of the free (driving).
Click to expand...

I moved from MD to California, and the first thing I noticed was the turn signals...

Or, I should say, I noticed that there was nothing to notice.
 
Ignatz Mouse said:
I've seen the comparison pic before, but I still lose it at Motorized Rollinghams.
Click to expand...

rooty tooty point n shooties.

man these always got me when someone would post something fairly logical, but there would be one of these words in there somewhere. Just validated that euro's speak just like this.

I hope they really do and everyone on the internet just tries to hide it.
 
Nevasleep said:
Countdown_pedestrian_signal.jpg

I like the countdown timers, wish we had them in the UK. -- We do have them in the UK!
Although it'll be interesting to know if they persuade more people to wait.
Click to expand...

Most people use these to see how much time they have to wait at the light
 
Stinkles said:
TURN SIGNALS: in the US, these are actually called BITCH CLUES. Used correctly, they will show the drivers around you what you just did - one blink to indicate you already veered in front of them. However, used incorrectly they will alert other drivers of your intention to turn, merge etc, giving them ample time to accelerate or decelerate to PREVENT you from doing whatever maneuver you foolishly gave away.
Click to expand...

My sister went to a professional driver instructor (I just got pushed out of the tree, so to speak) and he actually told her to do all of this.
He would actually yell at her when another car managed to get into her lane.
 
ah pffftt. You americans have it easy, I live in what is statistically the worst place to drive in north america - edmonton, canada.

And the majority of the ops post is true here too, although on the plus side almost no one has guns here so you don't need to worry about road rage ending in a bullet to the face.
 
I seriously don't understand why here (Portland), Berkeley and other places put roundabouts at 4 way intersections. It's just awkward and no one knows to let the person to their right go first. And if 4 people end up at the intersection it's a clusterfuck of dumb. Plus in my hometown they had one on a main drag that people would plow right through. Every time I went in it I expected to get T-boned out of nowhere since the non-main streets came in at downward angled curves.
 
Someone gave you a revolver with one in the barrel and told you to spin it, put it to your head, and pull the trigger. You must do this every time you enter your car. That's what it's like driving in South Florida. Add an extra bullet for driving in Miami.
 
You also forgot where if somebody finds out that they're in the wrong lane at the last second, they have the right to merge into your lane with no signal, and no matter how much space is in between you and the car in front of you. Because it's too hard to just go a bit further and turn around somewhere.
 
Stinkles said:
TURN SIGNALS: in the US, these are actually called BITCH CLUES. Used correctly, they will show the drivers around you what you just did - one blink to indicate you already veered in front of them. However, used incorrectly they will alert other drivers of your intention to turn, merge etc, giving them ample time to accelerate or decelerate to PREVENT you from doing whatever maneuver you foolishly gave away.
Click to expand...

ugh this is so true. Oh! he has his turn signal on! let me speed up or slow down so he can't get in. fuck you.
 
Devolution said:
I seriously don't understand why here (Portland), Berkeley and other places put roundabouts at 4 way intersections. It's just awkward and no one knows to let the person to their right go first. And if 4 people end up at the intersection it's a clusterfuck of dumb. Plus in my hometown they had one on a main drag that people would plow right through. Every time I went in it I expected to get T-boned out of nowhere since the non-main streets came in at downward angled curves.
Click to expand...

I thought the person on the left has right of way? I never had a problem with roundabouts following that rule...
 
Al-ibn Kermit said:
I thought the person on the left has right of way? I never had a problem with roundabouts following that rule...
Click to expand...

In Britain maybe. If you allow the person on the right in a country where people drive on the right hand side you can pretty much go at the same time since they'll be out of your way.
 
Gouty said:
Automatics aren't taking over the rest of the world too?
Click to expand...

never met a single british person who drove an automatic car, i'd say at least 90 percent are manual. rented an automatic in the states once and it was terrifying, i will never ever buy one.

and the reason why roundabouts work in the UK is that they're everywhere and an essential part of the driving test (which seems to be a lot more thorough). i can't imagine plonking them down on a crossroads in the middle of iowa would make much sense.
 
Zabka said:
Had 3 cars attempt to merge into me while driving through Brooklyn today. Not a single one checked their blind spot.
Click to expand...
Those people are not great drivers, but you should check your own habits as well. Driving in someone's blind spot in Europe is considered purposely offensive. That's part of the reason for having a "weakness vacuum," or safe driving distance, as well as for only using extra lanes for passing. If you're spending more than a second in someone's blind spot, you're probably in the wrong lane.
 
SCHOOLBUS: if you see a SCHOOLBUS anywhere near you, with any kind of lights flashing at all, just turn around and go home. Nothing further can be done in your car that day.
Click to expand...

:lol :lol i love this.

A truck was behind me earlier this week and i turned to the left lane to get home and as i was turning the guy slams his accelerator, as if somehow me turning left destroyed his masculinity.
 
Battersea Power Station said:
Those people are not great drivers, but you should check your own habits as well. Driving in someone's blind spot in Europe is considered purposely offensive. That's part of the reason for having a "weakness vacuum," or safe driving distance, as well as for only using extra lanes for passing. If you're spending more than a second in someone's blind spot, you're probably in the wrong lane.
Click to expand...
These were people merging onto the right lane as I was passing them in the middle. They just keep moving left without signaling. People in giant SUVs do it all the time.
 
Stinkles said:
TURN SIGNALS: in the US, these are actually called BITCH CLUES. Used correctly, they will show the drivers around you what you just did - one blink to indicate you already veered in front of them. However, used incorrectly they will alert other drivers of your intention to turn, merge etc, giving them ample time to accelerate or decelerate to PREVENT you from doing whatever maneuver you foolishly gave away.
Click to expand...

This is the best when combined with another habit of terrible drivers: changing multiple lanes at once. Driving on the freeway, dude in front of me takes off diagonally across 3 lanes with no warning. Peace out crazy person! Why even fucking have lanes.
 
You ever been to Massachusetts, Stinkles? Its like a Russian state in regards to driving. YELLOW MEANS SPEED UP! Some old highways are like vehicular thunderdomes.
 
Trent Strong said:
I've never seen or heard of a foot activated handbrake.
Click to expand...

I have one in my '91 Mercury Sable. It's built into the dash rather than the floor and sits up closer toward the driver with a release latch built into the dash itself. I think they're more common in automatics and are more for emergency stopping rather than fancy driving like many idjits use handbrakes for. They let you keep both hands on the wheel in an emergency situation like brake failure.
 
Thank you OP, I needed some laughter in my day.

And it's mostly true, too...give or take a few based on state/city or rural.
 
Devolution said:
In Britain maybe. If you allow the person on the right in a country where people drive on the right hand side you can pretty much go at the same time since they'll be out of your way.
Click to expand...
I don't quite understand what you are describing here. I love roundabouts, have a few close to my house, they really improve traffic flow and are great in winter.
 
Wow drivers on the UK piss me of enough at times but man these are all the worst extreme offences.

If I drove in the US I'd be a hopeless rage machine.

Someone getting behind me or trying to take my spot when reverse parking would send me over the edge.
 
I loathe people who don't use their blinkers and who expect me to go 20 mph over the speed limit on a suburban road just because I'm in the left lane.

I hope those people choke on a shoe.
 
As a Southern Californian, I can confirm basically all of this.

Unfortunately Stinkles missed one key point: The SPEED LIMIT is not the fastest you can go. It is the minimum speed you should be traveling, but anywhere up to about 15mph faster than that is usually also acceptable. If you are not traveling at least at the SPEED LIMIT, expect to be aggressively tailgated and then overtaken while receiving dirty looks.
 
thezerofire said:
As a Southern Californian, I can confirm basically all of this.

Unfortunately Stinkles missed one key point: The SPEED LIMIT is not the fastest you can go. It is the minimum speed you should be traveling, but anywhere up to about 15mph faster than that is usually also acceptable. If you are not traveling at least at the SPEED LIMIT, expect to be aggressively tailgated and then overtaken while receiving dirty looks.
Click to expand...
Yup. You need to go 80mph when it's clear to make up all the time you were going 5-20 MPH on other days.
Stinkles said:
British drivers are often fascinated by the differences, apart from the direction we drive and the side of the car the steering weel is on, so heres a handy guide to some of our standards.

100% True.
STOPPING DISTANCE: Most important. In the UK safe stopping distance is often hundreds of feet. In America, the gap between vehicles traveling at high speeds is called a WEAKNESS VACUUM and should be filled IMMEDIATELY. Inform the car in front of you that you are not weak by tailgating it at 70mph with no intention of overtaking. Which brings us to...

50% True
OVERTAKING LANE: Note, it is not called the FAST LANE in the US, because it is designed for elderly people in Buicks or Cadillacs to go at about ten miles less than the posted speed limit. They are using their turn signal as if to indicate they will merge right. They will not. They will simply keep going until a mass of pedestrians at a Farmer's Market eventually slows them down. Which brings us to...

95% True
TURN SIGNALS: in the US, these are actually called BITCH CLUES. Used correctly, they will show the drivers around you what you just did - one blink to indicate you already veered in front of them. However, used incorrectly they will alert other drivers of your intention to turn, merge etc, giving them ample time to accelerate or decelerate to PREVENT you from doing whatever maneuver you foolishly gave away.

50% True( Too many cars, too many on ramps, too many exits )
MERGE LANES: if you are on the freeway already, watch out for merge lanes. Other drivers will, incredibly, try to get on the freeway. Make sure you get all the way over to the merge lane and accelerate or decelerate to prevent them from going to wherever they are trying to go. If you are merging ON to the Freeway, it is best to lock your speed at 40mph and haphazardly try to jerk your car into a gap, ensuring a cascading brake effect ten miles behind you.
Click to expand...
 
Also as a Southern Californian, I know the etiquette for a passing lane, but almost all our freeways have like 5 lanes a side. Surely you're not supposed to only stay in the right lane unless you're passing


Log4Girlz said:
I live in Miami, driving anywhere is a fucking adventure.
Click to expand...
I don't know if Miami traffic is anything like Orlando traffic, but when I was there last summer the news reported a "traffic jam," and all the cars were going like 50 mph. My family and I had a good laugh.
 
thezerofire said:
As a Southern Californian, I can confirm basically all of this.

Unfortunately Stinkles missed one key point: The SPEED LIMIT is not the fastest you can go. It is the minimum speed you should be traveling, but anywhere up to about 15mph faster than that is usually also acceptable. If you are not traveling at least at the SPEED LIMIT, expect to be aggressively tailgated and then overtaken while receiving dirty looks.
Click to expand...
Fuck people that speed. Fuck them hard.

:lol at the OP. Best one in a while.
 
For most Americans who aren't like fucking old and shit, driving is a goddamn race, a competition which can at times be life or death. Man are so many people stupid.
 
I finally got my license a couple weeks ago. I still practice highway driving, but mostly at night.

Fucking hell it's so annoying when either people won't let you on, or box you in.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

How are you doing for retirement?
2 3
103
1K
StreetsofBeige replied
  • Locked
Welcome to the Gulf of America
2 3 4
196
12K
DeafTourette replied
Dr. Pepper maintains its spot as the #2 soda in America.
2 3 4
150
3K
Herr Edgy replied
  • Locked
FAO of all Brits, sign this petition ASAP
34
1K
Hookshot replied
  • Poll
How lazy are you? Stream movie with ads or get off the couch to put in DVD?
2
58
838
EverydayBeast replied
Top Bottom