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[desa]

How do you guys deal with suicidal episodes? I think everyone knows what I'm talking about. That dreaded feeling deep in your chest and the thought of just wanting to end it. I try to ride it out with music, talking to myself, or just sometimes taking it head on, almost like a rush/high. I know, weird.

I'm really used to feeling like that and I don't like it. I wonder one of these days, what it will take to tip me over the edge and just go through with it.

 

[Jimothy]

How do you guys deal with suicidal episodes? I think everyone knows what I'm talking about. That dreaded feeling deep in your chest and the thought of just wanting to end it. I try to ride it out with music, talking to myself, or just sometimes taking it head on, almost like a rush/high. I know, weird.

I'm really used to feeling like that and I don't like it. I wonder one of these days, what it will take to tip me over the edge and just go through with it.

I deal with it by imagining the nothingness of death. It scares the shit out of me, and I would rather keep on living with the hope of it someday getting better, however unlikely that is.

 

[sphinx]

I don't think I get as far as entretaining the idea of suicide but when I am the bottom of the barrel and feel like everything is fucking pointless I... just get very pissed, remain in silence for minutes and my eyes get moisty.

the ONLY thing I wished is that someone would be there for me, invite me to play a video game or go to a movie or just go for an ice cream.. but there's no one there and the rest of the time I keep my head up, go and work out and jogging like the world would give a fuck about whether I do it or not and I just hope for the better, that I won't feel lonely as fuck some day.

EDIT: sorry for my stupid avatar, I am feeling too much apathy right now to change it.

 

[airmangataosenai]

How do you guys deal with suicidal episodes? I think everyone knows what I'm talking about. That dreaded feeling deep in your chest and the thought of just wanting to end it. I try to ride it out with music, talking to myself, or just sometimes taking it head on, almost like a rush/high. I know, weird.

I'm really used to feeling like that and I don't like it. I wonder one of these days, what it will take to tip me over the edge and just go through with it.

I've had it enough times that I know it'll pass if I ride it out. Eventually I probably will go through with it if my life doesn't improve but for now I'm alright-ish.

 

[Mully]

I went to hang out with an old friend yesterday. He was talking about how he had a falling out with his girlfriend. They got into an argument a few weeks back and she said some really hurtful things to him. He got really upset and told her to work things out for herself while she was visiting her home in Texas and he would think things over in New York. Since then, she's been completely obsessed with what he's doing. She's been worried that he doesn't care as much as he used to and she'll get upset if they don't talk as much on the phone as they used to. All of this is making her unattractive to him and he's really thinking about ending it. He still loves her, but he's just not enjoying it right now.

After hearing his story, I realized that for a long time I was like his girlfriend to my ex and most of my best friends and co-workers. I have been so worried about what people think of me that even when I thought I was focusing on myself I was just doing it so people would think I'm changing when in fact I wasn't.

I have been headed for this epiphany for a while, but it's nice to finally realize how to relax by seeing other people do exactly what you did and how people react to it. It's not cool to always be on edge and it really warps your perception of yourself. I still hate myself for the most part, but it's not as bad as it was last night or just a few days ago. Hopefully I'll be able to relax much more now. People really like me when I'm relaxed and just happy. They hate me when I'm miserable and wound up about what people will think of me if I make a mistake, hang out with different people, or be interested in something that other people think is stupid.

 

[scorcho]

what about fighting back depression while going through a terminal disease? what do you recommend or say to someone who possibly has months to live? how does one reaffirm life to them, especially as their body deteriorates on a near week-to-week basis, to the point where even walking a few blocks is a taxing physical activity?

 

[Mully]

what about fighting back depression while going through a terminal disease? what do you recommend or say to someone who possibly has months to live? how does one reaffirm life to them, especially as their body deteriorates on a near week-to-week basis, to the point where even walking a few blocks is a taxing physical activity?

That's pretty difficult. Although, I'm sure if someone was there with that person a lot it would make that illness easier to deal with. Company is always a great way to fight depression.

 

[Jimothy]

what about fighting back depression while going through a terminal disease? what do you recommend or say to someone who possibly has months to live? how does one reaffirm life to them, especially as their body deteriorates on a near week-to-week basis, to the point where even walking a few blocks is a taxing physical activity?

I apologize if this is a bit morbid for this thread, but my aunt suffered from MS for 10 or so years. She ended up committing suicide by overdosing on her pain meds about 3 months ago. I never knew her that well, but my mom said she suffered from depression for years, even before she got sick. She was confined to a wheelchair the last year of her life, so I can imagine her depression reach critical mass. I guess there's a threshold of misery for every human being, and she just couldn't take the pain anymore.

 

[Bagels]

what about fighting back depression while going through a terminal disease? what do you recommend or say to someone who possibly has months to live? how does one reaffirm life to them, especially as their body deteriorates on a near week-to-week basis, to the point where even walking a few blocks is a taxing physical activity?

There are psychiatrists who deal specifically with palliative care. I can look into this a bit for you. As of now, I don't really know what advice to give.

 

[UrbanRats]

How do you guys deal with suicidal episodes? I think everyone knows what I'm talking about. That dreaded feeling deep in your chest and the thought of just wanting to end it. I try to ride it out with music, talking to myself, or just sometimes taking it head on, almost like a rush/high. I know, weird.

I'm really used to feeling like that and I don't like it. I wonder one of these days, what it will take to tip me over the edge and just go through with it.

I either go to sleep if i can, or wait it out.
I don't know if it'll get the better of me someday (probably, if i keep sinking) but there's not much i can do on a short-time span, i guess.

 

[scorcho]

i guess that's the hardest part to deal with in that situation. at what point does one's quality of life override the impulse to want to live as long as possible? i can't imagine coping with a disease for so long, end up bound to a wheelchair and then still wake up with the realization and fear that things can and will become worse.

it's hard not to become attracted to the selfish bemoaning over your dwindling physical capacity combined equally with the realization that you're becoming a larger burden to your family, loved ones and friends. throw in the need to work to pay off expensive medical bills and, well, that's a pretty large shit sandwich to digest.

 

[Bagels]

i guess that's the hardest part to deal with in that situation. at what point does one's quality of life override the impulse to want to live as long as possible? i can't imagine coping with a disease for so long, end up bound to a wheelchair and then still wake up with the realization and fear that things can and will become worse.

it's hard not to become attracted to the selfish bemoaning over your dwindling physical capacity combined equally with the realization that you're becoming a larger burden to your family, loved ones and friends. throw in the need to work to pay off expensive medical bills and, well, that's a pretty large shit sandwich to digest.

That's a lot to deal with. But I'm sure even the most "burdened" family member or friend you have would take caring for you over attending your funeral any day of the week.

Is there something special you can do to express your gratitude to them. I'm a big fan of writing letters - just getting the words right and expressing exactly how much they mean to you.

 

[desa]

what about fighting back depression while going through a terminal disease? what do you recommend or say to someone who possibly has months to live? how does one reaffirm life to them, especially as their body deteriorates on a near week-to-week basis, to the point where even walking a few blocks is a taxing physical activity?

Maybe some drugs that will make the person feel good. I've read somewhere where they used mushrooms to "prepare" the person for the inevitable.


Here it is - http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/09/06/magic.mushrooms.ease.anxiety/index.html

 

[scorcho]

thanks for the suggestions, guys and gals. ultimately i don't know if there are any good solutions. painkillers are fun, i suppose. hallucinogenics might be moreso, but masking reality only works for so long. nevermind the timesink in trying to be a part of that NYU study while still working nearly full-time.

the letters are a great idea. eventually.

 

[Bagels]

thanks for the suggestions, guys and gals. ultimately i don't know if there are any good solutions. painkillers are fun, i suppose. hallucinogenics might be moreso, but masking reality only works for so long. nevermind the timesink in trying to be a part of that NYU study while still working nearly full-time.

the letters are a great idea. eventually.

Do you mind sharing more about your situation? There might be specific treatment options or you to consider. This isn't my area of study, but I have a mentor who deals with medical psychiatry - helping treat people who have depression as a result of, or contributed by, serious medical conditions.

 

[ZAK]

I called a psychiatrist recently. I'm finally going to talk to a professional.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Not sure about being depressed (feels that way) but I'm worried for my future and need some guidance.

Story short:
I was in college for engineering and had a good GPA and internships under my belt, but I never graduated. Why? As a freshman my financial aid didn't come through due a social security data entry mistake (not on my part) and I ended up owning my state university 6k for housing that year (wish I knew back then!). So I'm shooting through semesters on a partial scholarship and government aid and now it's fall semester of my senior year. My aid gets DENIED and my scholarship can't be used. Why?

Apparently I owed the university 10k (counting interests) from my freshman year and I had to pay ALL of it or else (school wouldn't let me do payments, not like I could though). Literally that was the scenario no bullshit. This caused me to get pushed out of school with no fucking degree...and I later defaulted on the "university loan" and the federal loans. Right now I can't go to college on anyone's dime but what's out of my own pocket (credit royally fucked up since I was 19 years old, had to make tough choices and merely delayed the inevitable anyway).

4 years since I now work in marketing and make 24k a year, this is the upside. I have a mom whose not working and is dependant on me at the moment (for the past year it's been this way) and quite frankly I'm not able to deal with my liabilities, nevertheless develop any savings. I have many other issues that keep me awake at night, but I think the central point is that money will cure all of my problems. That one fucking thing.

What do I do for the future? If I "work hard", with no degree is it possible that I can land marketing jobs that actually pay? Do I forget about school? I'm just two semesters away from graduating. I'm just trying to figure out what to do. What do I do?

 

[ErasureAcer]

I feel like I've lost the ability to have a conversation 1 on 1 with someone without thinking I'm boring or uninteresting.

I dunno, I don't think about killing myself, but I don't really want to be alive either.

If your handle is based on The Tesseract by Alex Garland than you're not uninteresting. The fact you even know what a Tesseract is puts you above most people.

 

[Conor 419]

Hope you feel better soon man.

I'd advise anyone who is regularly depressed to read a lot of fitness material, the fundamentals of diet and exercise are the greatest cure for depression.

 

[ErasureAcer]

Hope you feel better soon man.

I'd advise anyone who is regularly depressed to read a lot of fitness material, the fundamentals of diet and exercise are the greatest cure for depression.

Music and some daily activity even if it's not of importance(like videogames) have cured myself of my own depression(although I think this life is a sham and the glory waits in the afterlife). If you're depressed I recommend getting on disability...just go insane and you'll get it. No need to be a slave(working-wise at least to corporate interests).

 

[Tess3ract]

If your handle is based on The Tesseract by Alex Garland than you're not uninteresting. The fact you even know what a Tesseract is puts you above most people.

I actually have not read that book, it was related to a music making program that had a song preinstalled by something named "tesseract", which I loved as a kid and subsequently forgot what it was called. Later I found out it was related to "hypercubes" or generally speaking to most people, a tesseract.

However, this book seems interesting, I'll give it a whirl.

 

[ErasureAcer]

I actually have not read that book, it was related to a music making program that had a song preinstalled by something named "tesseract", which I loved as a kid and subsequently forgot what it was called. Later I found out it was related to "hypercubes" or generally speaking to most people, a tesseract.

However, this book seems interesting, I'll give it a whirl.

It's an interesting story...connecting 3 different stories into one. I owned it(before donating to the Library) and only read it once but it was pretty good. Of course The Beach(my fav. book) and The Coma(His 3rd book) were better IMO....but yeah check it out as it is your username.

 

[Cake Boss]

Be amazing everyone.

 

[Tess3ract]

Three connecting stories into one, ironically seems rather apt with my adaptation of tesseract (the intention was to use the name even though someone already had it)

Not sure about being depressed (feels that way) but I'm worried for my future and need some guidance.

Story short:
I was in college for engineering and had a good GPA and internships under my belt, but I never graduated. Why? As a freshman my financial aid didn't come through due a social security data entry mistake (not on my part) and I ended up owning my state university 6k for housing that year (wish I knew back then!). So I'm shooting through semesters on a partial scholarship and government aid and now it's fall semester of my senior year. My aid gets DENIED and my scholarship can't be used. Why?

Apparently I owed the university 10k (counting interests) from my freshman year and I had to pay ALL of it or else (school wouldn't let me do payments, not like I could though). Literally that was the scenario no bullshit. This caused me to get pushed out of school with no fucking degree...and I later defaulted on the "university loan" and the federal loans. Right now I can't go to college on anyone's dime but what's out of my own pocket (credit royally fucked up since I was 19 years old, had to make tough choices and merely delayed the inevitable anyway).

4 years since I now work in marketing and make 24k a year, this is the upside. I have a mom whose not working and is dependant on me at the moment (for the past year it's been this way) and quite frankly I'm not able to deal with my liabilities, nevertheless develop any savings. I have many other issues that keep me awake at night, but I think the central point is that money will cure all of my problems. That one fucking thing.

What do I do for the future? If I "work hard", with no degree is it possible that I can land marketing jobs that actually pay? Do I forget about school? I'm just two semesters away from graduating. I'm just trying to figure out what to do. What do I do?

Can't you take classes you need at a community college and transfer them back to your college? Do it piece by piece then transfer it all over and be done with it?

Or is it one of those colleges that only accept so many transfer credits? Fucking private colleges are the worst shit. Fuck em.

 

[ErasureAcer]

well, I thought I could find help on this forum without depressing anyone.

I guess tonight I called a bunch of relatives while under the influence.. not that I deserve their attention, anyway.

I think I went out of my way to ruin some posters' nights; timedog and devolution reached out to me, but I guess I found a way to make myself not needed. Just wanted to apologize before i go

Ahh, I didn't know you are depressed Eric. I thought of you when and other Viking GAF when I heard about AP's run in with the law in Texas and how misguided you all are. I hope you get better so that the Vikings are the only cause of your sorrow.

Where in MN are you(if you are in MN)?

 

[Timedog]

well, I thought I could find help on this forum without depressing anyone.

I guess tonight I called a bunch of relatives while under the influence.. not that I deserve their attention, anyway.

I think I went out of my way to ruin some posters' nights; timedog and devolution reached out to me, but I guess I found a way to make myself not needed. Just wanted to apologize before i go

It was nice talking to you, dude. If you need someone to talk to, me and Devo will always be there. Feel free to contact us any time.

 

[LegoArmo]

Am I depressed if the instant I'm alone, or not talking to someone, I start thinking upsetting thoughts? It's like when I'm alone, my brain is trying to make me cry.

When I'm talking to a person I like, either online, or over text, or in person, I generally feel okay, but that might just be because my brain is occupied.

 

[Bagels]

well, I thought I could find help on this forum without depressing anyone.

I guess tonight I called a bunch of relatives while under the influence.. not that I deserve their attention, anyway.

I think I went out of my way to ruin some posters' nights; timedog and devolution reached out to me, but I guess I found a way to make myself not needed. Just wanted to apologize before i go

I'm always happy to talk, too. Don't ever be afraid to ask. If I'm busy, I'll let you know and we can schedule something for later. Are you another member of Minnesota-GAF? IF so...fist-bump?

 

[Bagels]

Hope you feel better soon man.

I'd advise anyone who is regularly depressed to read a lot of fitness material, the fundamentals of diet and exercise are the greatest cure for depression.

Diet and exercise are great for just about anything. However, in the case of depression, a) it's really hard to get motivated to exercise and b) the scientific literature only supports exercise as monotherapy for mild to moderate depression. It won't help enough (in most people) with severe depression. I know there's a tendency to rush to antidepressants at the first hint of depression on some doctors' part, but the drugs shouldn't be ruled out entirely because they're "not natural" or whatever (not trying to put words in your mouth - that's just what you hear a lot).

In any event, what we call "major depressive disorder" is probably actually a family of major depressive disorders . Each of these subtypes of depression may respond differently to different treatments. Calling exercise and diet "the greatest cure for depression" is just flat out wrong. For some forms of depression, they may be first-line therapies, or they may be used in combination with other treatments, but for many people, diet and exercise alone won't boost your mood enough.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Three connecting stories into one, ironically seems rather apt with my adaptation of tesseract (the intention was to use the name even though someone already had it)


Can't you take classes you need at a community college and transfer them back to your college? Do it piece by piece then transfer it all over and be done with it?

Or is it one of those colleges that only accept so many transfer credits? Fucking private colleges are the worst shit. Fuck em.

I would be able to transfer credits if the Community College had the classes that I needed.

The biggest CC in my region did not have the required courses because the engineering programs (save for construction) were built around transferring to a NC State University after 2 years. I should check again to see if the program offers senior level courses that I can take and transfer over, but I don't expect it to. If this did happen, would I be able to graduate? I'd have to ask their lawyers (since I have been dealing with them for years).

I also tried to take one or two classes a semester and pay out of pocket at my former college or transferable local state colleges, but it's just expensive and what I owe the state always comes up. The state has me on lockdown (even garnishes my tax returns to pay my university). Surround state colleges with engineering programs are even more expensive than the ones in my city, however slightly.

I think my opportunity for now is to just go ahead and get an associates in marketing since that is what I'm doing now (paying out of pocket won't be easy until I reduce liabilities or make more money). It should take 1 year because all of the generic classes will transfer over. Or win the lottery and enroll next semester .

 

[Out of Working Order]

Am I depressed if the instant I'm alone, or not talking to someone, I start thinking upsetting thoughts? It's like when I'm alone, my brain is trying to make me cry.

When I'm talking to a person I like, either online, or over text, or in person, I generally feel okay, but that might just be because my brain is occupied.

What sort of upsetting thoughts?

Do you spend a lot of time alone?

 

[PumpkinPie]

I have been laying in the same spot and had nothing to eat for like four days. I have nothing. I can't possibly imagine a future for myself.

 

[goodfella]

First post in this thread, don't know what to say really.

I just wanted to have some presence in this thread for some reason.

Edit: -snip-

 

[vatstep]

Sunday nights are horrible. I stay up as late as I can and it fucks me over for days to come because that feeling of waking up on Monday morning and going to work is just devastating to me. In fact, all of Sunday just feels like a waste because I know I have to work the next day. Once I fall asleep Saturday night, the weekend is pretty much over. :|

My psychologist (whom I've been seeing for a year now) has been mentioning medication to me more and more lately. It sort of feels like she's giving up on me. I'm hesitant to go the medication route because I'm terrified of side effects and because I really cannot afford another expense. I'm incredibly lucky that I have a doctor I can talk to every week that has waived my co-pay due to my financial issues... I wish that was enough for me but I just don't think it's helping anymore.

Has anyone been extremely resistant to medication for years and finally decided to give in?

 

[Feep]

Sunday nights are horrible. I stay up as late as I can and it fucks me over for days to come because that feeling of waking up on Monday morning and going to work is just devastating to me. In fact, all of Sunday just feels like a waste because I know I have to work the next day. Once I fall asleep Saturday night, the weekend is pretty much over. :|

My psychologist (whom I've been seeing for a year now) has been mentioning medication to me more and more lately. It sort of feels like she's giving up on me. I'm hesitant to go the medication route because I'm terrified of side effects and because I really cannot afford another expense. I'm incredibly lucky that I have a doctor I can talk to every week that has waived my co-pay due to my financial issues... I wish that was enough for me but I just don't think it's helping anymore.

Has anyone been extremely resistant to medication for years and finally decided to give in?

It's possible you dread heading into work on Monday because *you hate your work*, not due to any particular imbalance in your brain. Not that it's easy to suddenly get a sweet new job, but maybe you should give it a shot before chemical substances? You shouldn't feel like that...having a good career is a very significant part of your life.

 

[vatstep]

It's possible you dread heading into work on Monday because *you hate your work*, not due to any particular imbalance in your brain. Not that it's easy to suddenly get a sweet new job, but maybe you should give it a shot before chemical substances? You shouldn't feel like that...having a good career is a very significant part of your life.

Thanks for responding. I don't want to type up some lengthy diary entry (too lazy to — too lazy to do much of anything, really), but it's not really my job that I dislike but work in general. I just don't want to do anything. Maybe I'd be somewhat less miserable doing something else, but I have no idea what that would be since I don't feel like I'm particularly good at anything. I occasionally look for jobs but give up after a few minutes — the idea of going through that process again, interviewing, meeting people, re-learning everything, etc. is so unbelievably overwhelming and hopeless-feeling to me... I feel like I could climb Mount Everest before I could succeed at any of that. I don't want a career. I just want enough money to live. I had that for years with my current job — didn't love it, but I'd do my work, come home and be fine. I feel like I can't do that anymore. I don't want what I have and, uh, I don't want anything else? I have no idea.

As far as medication goes, I know it's unrealistic that I could take a pill that would miraculously make me not hate my job, or at least feel less inadequate at it. The recommendation from my doctor was initially related to some other issues that I have, but now I'm not so sure what she's thinking (I'm not sure if she knows either).

 

[Feep]

Thanks for responding. I don't want to type up some lengthy diary entry (too lazy to — too lazy to do much of anything, really), but it's not really my job that I dislike but work in general. I just don't want to do anything. Maybe I'd be somewhat less miserable doing something else, but I have no idea what that would be since I don't feel like I'm particularly good at anything. I occasionally look for jobs but give up after a few minutes — the idea of going through that process again, interviewing, meeting people, re-learning everything, etc. is so unbelievably overwhelming and hopeless-feeling to me... I feel like I could climb Mount Everest before I could succeed at any of that. I don't want a career. I just want enough money to live. I had that for years with my current job — didn't love it, but I'd do my work, come home and be fine. I feel like I can't do that anymore. I don't want what I have and, uh, I don't want anything else? I have no idea.

As far as medication goes, I know it's unrealistic that I could take a pill that would miraculously make me not hate my job, or at least feel less inadequate at it. The recommendation from my doctor was initially related to some other issues that I have, but now I'm not so sure what she's thinking (I'm not sure if she knows either).

Have you ever really done *nothing*? It's actually pretty maddening, after the first couple of weeks. Most retired/rich people end up doing some form of volunteer/charity work to stay active, because staying home and watching movies/playing video games gets to be unbearable.

It still sounds like your job isn't challenging you, isn't providing stimulation...it's just something you do to get by. Not having a job at all just isn't really an option for most people...life just doesn't allow it for common folk like you and me. So I say make the most of a bad situation and try and get the best job you can.

Of course, it does sound like there are possible other issues at work here, too. But I'm not qualified for that kind of diagnosis, so I don't know how much help I can be.

On the plus side, you should still be glad Sunday is there...otherwise, Saturday would be the day before Monday, and then even THAT glorious day would be ruined. = D

 

[Curtisaur]

I take a Monday off every now and again; whenever the opportunity presents itself I do it. Most people are all about taking off on Friday for a long weekend, but I feel that just the psychological effect of having a Monday off is much more pleasant. Friday is Friday. Everyone is happy about Friday being Friday regardless of whether or not they have to go to work... but everyone generally dreads Monday. Having Monday off is such a pleasant and welcome feeling when it can happen. Give it a try sometime if you can!

 

[vatstep]

Have you ever really done *nothing*? It's actually pretty maddening, after the first couple of weeks. Most retired/rich people end up doing some form of volunteer/charity work to stay active, because staying home and watching movies/playing video games gets to be unbearable.

You're right. I know that, realistically, even I probably wouldn't want that after a while. I just don't want to sit at a computer all day anymore (unless I'm on GAF, of course), I don't want to deal with the shitty office politics that come along with a job like mine... all that crap. I don't know what other type of job would enable me to continue living like I do (I have a nice apartment, although I'm cutting it really close since my girlfriend dumped me, moved out and left me to pay her half of the rent), but I would honestly rather go back to working retail than another office job. I actually don't mind dealing with people and am good at customer service, even though I'm completely anti-social in my personal life. I know that's not really going to happen, though...

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate it. I'm probably going to fall asleep soon, ugh. At least I have my protein bar to look forward to in the morning.

I take a Monday off every now and again; whenever the opportunity presents itself I do it. Most people are all about taking off on Friday for a long weekend, but I feel that just the psychological effect of having a Monday off is much more pleasant. Friday is Friday. Everyone is happy about Friday being Friday regardless of whether or not they have to go to work... but everyone generally dreads Monday. Having Monday off is such a pleasant and welcome feeling when it can happen. Give it a try sometime if you can!

I do this a LOT actually, as I'm lucky to have a shitload of vacation time. One of the benefits of my job. Unfortunately, Tuesday just becomes my Monday, but at least the week is shorter and getting to the next weekend becomes easier (the only goal I have in life at any time, seemingly).

 

[Curtisaur]

I do this a LOT actually, as I'm lucky to have a shitload of vacation time. One of the benefits of my job. Unfortunately, Tuesday just becomes my Monday, but at least the week is shorter and getting to the next weekend becomes easier (the only goal I have in life at any time, seemingly).

I do it as often as possible. I get comp-time instead of overtime. I go on call every third week and any call I get adds to it. I've got enough from my last week that I can be off tomorrow, thankfully. I could use vacation time too I guess, I never really thought about that.

I think I am in the same spot as you, somewhat. I feel kind of like I am pointless, everything is pointless to an extent, and that I'm just sort of stuck in my own personal Groundhog Day/week.

I'm sorry I don't really have any good or lasting advice but I guess there is a tiny amount of solace in knowing you are not alone? I dunno. Maybe not. I sorta hate hearing stuff like "it'll be okay, relax, don't worry, etc..." when I get to feeling super down about everything.

I just try to stay busy, but lately I'm very very aware of the fact that most everything I do is busy work to keep my mind off of whatever.

 

[neojubei]

Anyone know how to change therapists? I just saw mine on Friday and I really don't think he is helping me at all. I think he is just laughing at me and my problems. After my meltdown last two weeks ago he is very calm about it. It seems if I want to change therapists they have to talk to him first. I know there are things I need to change but I don't know how maybe my brain is just wired badly. His advice is "welcome to the real world" when I talked about moving out. This really makes me want to do something reckless. There is a huge wall in my mind that seems to prevent me from taking the actions I want to take to improve my life. I just want help to get rid of that wall. My therapist is probably laughing at me while cashing the checks.

I am starting to think these people really don't want patients to get any better. I tried seeing a therapist at a gay health center but all he did was listen and write stuff down.

I don't know why I even bother anymore. I went out and try to find help and no one really cares one bit.

 

[ErasureAcer]

I am starting to think these people really don't want patients to get any better. I tried seeing a therapist at a gay health center but all he did was listen and write stuff down.

I don't know why I even bother anymore. I went out and try to find help and no one really cares one bit.

Exactly. The whole healthcare industry is bull unless you're in the ER.

I'll help you out with what your future holds. http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=425810

 

[NinjaFridge]

Exactly. The whole healthcare industry is bull unless you're in the ER.

I'll help you out with what your future holds. http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=425810

Might as well tell him to try this.

 

[neojubei]

Exactly. The whole healthcare industry is bull unless you're in the ER.

I'll help you out with what your future holds. http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=425810

I really do not know how that works.

 

[ponpo]

I just searched pristiq neogaf for fun and found this thread. I was prescribed some a few days ago but have yet to take any. It's probably the same with every medication, but reading about it online has made me so turned off from the idea of taking it! Was going to start tomorrow but meh~

 

[Shakala]

So after a few months of taking an increased dosage of effexor (75-150mg), I came to the conclusion that it wasn't making any difference. I've gone back down to 75 but I'm finding myself in that dark place once again.. I don't know

 

[neojubei]

How does that medication help for those that are taking any? What does it really do for you? it doesn't change your situation in life does it?

 

[Bagels]

How does that medication help for those that are taking any? What does it really do for you? it doesn't change your situation in life does it?

No. It's a common misconception that antidepressants are "happy pills." They don't magically make you feel awesome and not give a fuck about anything. What they do is open up the possibility of feeling positive emotions. They also shift the lowest parts of your mood upward a bit.

Imagine a mountain range - climbing higher is equivalent to feeling mentally healthy. From the top of a mountain, you can see the obstacles you'll have to overcome. but you can also see where you're headed in the future. In the valleys, on the other hand, you can't see what's around the next bend. And let's pretend it's a filthy valley, full of mud and slippery rocks and branches that you keep running into.

Now, when you're depressed, we chop the tops off of all of the mountains, so even if you're up there "feeling good," it's not as good as it should be. You want to be able to see more beautiful things up ahead. Instead, you're spending more and more time in the increasingly nasty, prickly, muddy, awful valley.

So an anti-depressant puts the tops of the mountains back on, but you've still got to get yourself up there. Likewise, the valley is a little drier, there aren't as many thorny bushes, but you've still got to pull yourself out of those low points.

Sorry, but that's as good an analogy as I could come up with at the moment.

For me, I simply say that I feel like myself when I'm on Effexor. When I'm depressed, or on the wrong drug, I don't feel like myself at all. The drug didn't make me happy by itself, but when good stuff happened, I could actually feel it!

As to changing your therapist, if it's not working, it's not working. Ask around about another therapist. Of, if your current therapist isn't cutting it, you can just say "this isn't working, can you give me the names of some other therapists. You'll find that some of them do care, very, very much. You need to ask around about who is good, if at all possible. If not, it's going to be some trial and error. Fortunately, after an initial visit, you can get a sense of what therapy with that provider will be like.

If you establish a rapport with the nursing staff, they'll often give you the straight dope on who's good and who isn't.

 

[Bagels]

I just searched pristiq neogaf for fun and found this thread. I was prescribed some a few days ago but have yet to take any. It's probably the same with every medication, but reading about it online has made me so turned off from the idea of taking it! Was going to start tomorrow but meh~

Any idea why they started you on Pristiq? The clinical trials have not been terribly impressive, it's a new, expensive drug, and Pristiq itself is just a metabolite of Effexor, which comes in generic form. I wouldn't start with Pristiq, but I'm not a doctor, I don't know your case, so maybe you're the ideal Pristiq user.

I'd ask your doctor flat out why he or she chose this drug for you. It's good to hear that they have some rationale for it (hopefully). And maybe it's on the hospital formulary and doesn't cost you that much. I'm just curious, I guess.

 

[ATF487]

No. It's a common misconception that antidepressants are "happy pills." They don't magically make you feel awesome and not give a fuck about anything. What they do is open up the possibility of feeling positive emotions. They also shift the lowest parts of your mood upward a bit.

Imagine a mountain range - climbing higher is equivalent to feeling mentally healthy. From the top of a mountain, you can see the obstacles you'll have to overcome. but you can also see where you're headed in the future. In the valleys, on the other hand, you can't see what's around the next bend. And let's pretend it's a filthy valley, full of mud and slippery rocks and branches that you keep running into.

Now, when you're depressed, we chop the tops off of all of the mountains, so even if you're up there "feeling good," it's not as good as it should be. You want to be able to see more beautiful things up ahead. Instead, you're spending more and more time in the increasingly nasty, prickly, muddy, awful valley.

So an anti-depressant puts the tops of the mountains back on, but you've still got to get yourself up there. Likewise, the valley is a little drier, there aren't as many thorny bushes, but you've still got to pull yourself out of those low points.

Sorry, but that's as good an analogy as I could come up with at the moment.

For me, I simply say that I feel like myself when I'm on Effexor. When I'm depressed, or on the wrong drug, I don't feel like myself at all. The drug didn't make me happy by itself, but when good stuff happened, I could actually feel it!

As to changing your therapist, if it's not working, it's not working. Ask around about another therapist. Of, if your current therapist isn't cutting it, you can just say "this isn't working, can you give me the names of some other therapists. You'll find that some of them do care, very, very much. You need to ask around about who is good, if at all possible. If not, it's going to be some trial and error. Fortunately, after an initial visit, you can get a sense of what therapy with that provider will be like.

If you establish a rapport with the nursing staff, they'll often give you the straight dope on who's good and who isn't.

Interesting analogy, I've told people it lowers your standard deviation but your mean as well. Both ends of the spectrum were truncated; I didn't feel great but I never felt awful.

Which brings me to this: is anyone else currently having good luck with medications? I took Prozac for 2 years, and I don't really think I want to go back on an SSRI for the above reasons. I have anxiety but not real panic attacks, and I'd say that I'm not majorly depressed, just sort of irritable and tired a lot of the time. Maybe it's Dysthymia.