Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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Also Devolution is correct. Guys are notoriously bad at picking up signs. It's easy for us to see the signs when it's directed to someone else, but when it's to us? We are oblivious.

I saw an interesting video a little while back where a body language expert set up a party and observed who was into who. He broke it down to each sign and explained why they're doing what they're doing and spotted a couple of people that were hitting it off. Afterwords he interviewed some of the women and when he asked about their interactions with the guys the women claimed they weren't interested, just being nice. The idea is that a lot of women flirt for various reasons, but at the same time that shits like crying wolf. Men are bad at reading signs, but lets be fair, women are terrible at giving them.

The only thing holding dating-age back is generally not socializing enough with women and treating them like some exotic creature out on the savannah.

I socialize with women all the time and that's never helped me understand their train of thought. If anything that's convinced me they are some exotic creature on the savannah. They say one thing and mean another, they pride themselves of being "mysterious" and "complex", they panic over some of the most harmless things, they expect certain moves at certain times and if you miss the window they'll lose interest...I'm generalizing here but even the smartest women I know are guilty of acting like this.
 
Build up your beliefs and you won't care about reading signs.


If they frown, I believe they want me

If they act snobbish, I believe they want me

If they smile......

If they don't make eye contact.....


etc etc
 
Build up your beliefs and you won't care about reading signs.


If they frown, I believe they want me

If they act snobbish, I believe they want me

If they smile......

If they don't make eye contact.....


etc etc

I severely disagree with this. I believe someone should build up their confidence and ability to socialize; but being able to read signs and body language saves you a lot of time and questions.
 
Nah son. Incredibly enormously false.




Me too. I quoted his post but nothing happened (unless I'm missing something).

Copy-paste the links that appear in your web browser.

I saw an interesting video a little while back where a body language expert set up a party and observed who was into who. He broke it down to each sign and explained why they're doing what they're doing and spotted a couple of people that were hitting it off. Afterwords he interviewed some of the women and when he asked about their interactions with the guys the women claimed they weren't interested, just being nice. The idea is that a lot of women flirt for various reasons, but at the same time that shits like crying wolf. Men are bad at reading signs, but lets be fair, women are terrible at giving them.

Do you mean the video with the extremely hideous blond girl? If that's the case, com'on man, it was all bullshit. Every participant knew it was a "flirt experiment" from the beginning, their behaviors were clearly not natural.
 
IMO, this is a horrible thing she's doing to you. I think it's pretty fucking selfish actually.
THIS.

Dude. Snap out of it. (Easier said than done).

That's why the call it a break up. Because something is broken.

Only and I mean ONLY can you consider getting back together is if you have absolutely zero feelings for her. You can hear her name and nothing happens. You can think of her with other guys and nothing happens.

Its harsh advice, but implementing NO CONTACT can do wonders. No texts, facebook, calls, twitter, carrier pigeon, nothing.

Give it a solid month. You will be amazed at how well you will do.

In the mean time, hang out with your buddies. Talk to random girls (remember, because you have been hurt, any other girls rejection will not even make a dent). Keep yourself busy.

Let yourself be comfortable being YOU again and not in a relationship.
 
Do you mean the video with the extremely hideous blond girl? If that's the case, com'on man, it was all bullshit. Every participant knew it was a "flirt experiment" from the beginning, their behaviors were clearly not natural.

Maybe, don't remember what the girl looked like. The one where this older guy is watching them through surveillance cameras. It really doesn't matter though, I've seen this behavior first hand more than enough times. I've had numerous women bombard me with attention/signals to the point where people think we were already going out. Then I make a move and suddenly I have the wrong idea. I don't get it.
 
My ex came by my place today to give me my stuff back. I asked if she was sure this is what she wanted. We both started crying, she said that it's not that she doesn't like me, it's that she just wants to like multiple people, and knows that I wouldn't go for that, and it's not fair to force it on me. We hugged, while we were both crying, and she left.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.
 
Build up your beliefs and you won't care about reading signs.


If they frown, I believe they want me

If they act snobbish, I believe they want me

If they smile......

If they don't make eye contact.....


etc etc
Take the hint. Accept the rejection. You'll live.
 
My ex came by my place today to give me my stuff back. I asked if she was sure this is what she wanted. We both started crying, she said that it's not that she doesn't like me, it's that she just wants to like multiple people, and knows that I wouldn't go for that, and it's not fair to force it on me. We hugged, while we were both crying, and she left.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.


Two words: No Contact.

Delete her number, unfriend her on facebook, and just move on with your life. She'll either realize she's made a huge mistake, or you'll both move on and will perhaps have the option of being friends somewhere down the road. I'm currently experiencing the same thing (she lost romantic feelings, wants to meet new people) and I've found that No Contact makes it so much easier than trying the "friends" route.

Don't be a doormat to her. Let her see that you can make it on your own without her and see where it goes from there.
 
I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.
CUT.OFF.CONTACT.

Let her feel the weight of the situation. You will heal.

Edit: Beaten

Meatfist nailed it.

It will feel awful...But give it a solid month...Just do it. You will love yourself for it.
 
All that talk of Izick's hair made me realize I need to get a haircut. My ex always just wanted me to grow it out, so it's been a long time since I've got a haircut for myself. Frankly I have no idea what to do, the thought of getting a cut that doesn't suit me terrifies me, you can say what you want about confidence, but it's hard to be confident with a bad haircut.
 
All that talk of Izick's hair made me realize I need to get a haircut. My ex always just wanted me to grow it out, so it's been a long time since I've got a haircut for myself. Frankly I have no idea what to do, the thought of getting a cut that doesn't suit me terrifies me, you can say what you want about confidence, but it's hard to be confident with a bad haircut.

You have to determine what kind of hair you have, first. And this is something that a stylist would be able to help you out with.

Do you have thick hair, or thin hair?
Do you have curly hair, wavy hair, or straight hair?

Once you've determined that, then you can go further. Me, I have thick and slightly wavy hair. So typically I go for a medium/long length. I'm trying newer things with my hair these days though, getting bored with longer hair, so I'm trying out different styles of medium length.

If you want shorter/medium hair, since you're used to longer hair, start google searching for styles you like. Type something in like "men's medium length hair styles" or "men's short hair styles". You can even be more descriptive and include "wavy/straight/curly/thick/thin/etc" into your searches. Mostly you'll probably run into pictures of celebrities or models, so "shop around" and find a few hair styles you think you might like based on your type of hair. Print those out, bring them to a stylist, see if they agree, and voila!
 
All that talk of Izick's hair made me realize I need to get a haircut. My ex always just wanted me to grow it out, so it's been a long time since I've got a haircut for myself. Frankly I have no idea what to do, the thought of getting a cut that doesn't suit me terrifies me, you can say what you want about confidence, but it's hard to be confident with a bad haircut.

Look at Yelp reviews for haircut places around you. Your haircut will define how you look for months, and it will cost you a good chunk of change. It might as well look good.

Also, a short haircut emphasizes your jawline and face shape. It's generally the best way to go.
 
When I look up hairstyles I feel like my hair wouldn't cooperate with any of them, but I suppose a stylist might disagree. My hair is almost exactly Rupert Grint's when he wears it longer, except mine is brown, even does the curly/wavy thing at the bottom.
 
When I look up hairstyles I feel like my hair wouldn't cooperate with any of them, but I suppose a stylist might disagree. My hair is almost exactly Rupert Grint's when he wears it longer, except mine is brown, even does the curly/wavy thing at the bottom.

Assuming your hair is thick, then it does the same kind of stuff that my hair does.

Here's the google search page for hairstyles that I would probably sift through.

Lots of choices, there.

Keep in mind, and I know this is obvious, but these guys are using product in their hair to make it do what it is doing. I'd recommend American Crew, either their Pomade or their forming cream. Forming Cream for longer hair, Pomade for shorter/medium.

But again, pick some images you like and your stylist will explain it all for you.
 
Alright GAF, I'm bored at work and this was on my mind so I'll give it a try. There's a chick I'm interested in. She's a year above me and in a different major, I met her through a language class (japanese, otakus hurr jk i don't think either of us watch anime). My school is fairly small so our friends kind of overlap, but not enough to run into her when hanging out with my groupies or whatever. I really wanted to ask her out last year, I started sitting next to her during class since there are a lot of pair exercises just to chat with her, blah blah etc, but even if the opportunity for a clever date inquiry came up I was always stumped because I didn't actually have any date idea :(

so I come here to ask GAF, whatre some swag first dates? here are the factors I've been considering:

-Nothing 'too' 1-on-1, as in no candlelit dinner or whatever the fuck, something thats chill and something you'd do w/ a family member or friend is what I'm aiming at. maybe a movie, but dinner just doesnt seem like a good idea
-she's korean (i'm not asian)
-she's a fairly devout christian based on some fb statuses, or at least really likes god
-we're in socal about 15 mins away from LA, and i do have a car
-i'm not 21
-she likes "He's Just not into You"( this was gleaned off her fb quotes and favorite movies) so i was gonna watch it some time and maybe pluck something from that

So far the best i've come up with is either asking her out on a 'hang-out date' where we check out some places (like the crystal cathedral, some random LA parks, ice cream, that kinda thing), OR my other is the LA philharmonic.

since my other relationships never really came from some explicit first date and more from just hanging out a lot I'm a little lost here, and i'm not sure if GAF is even the right place for this lol.
 
Just came back from a 2nd date with a girl I met on Match. We met in her neighborhood, got lunch, walked around, got frozen yogurt, and talked for a bit. Overall about a 3 hour date. Always talking to each other so no awkward pauses and she hasn't pulled out her cell phone ever. And we are starting to get to know each other well.

A couple of nuisances though are she hasn't really made physical contact with me despite me playfully touching her arm every so often (we still hugged at the beginning and end of the dates). And no kiss yet although I think both of us are a little too shy to initiate it.

So GAF help me on this. I was thinking for the 3rd date we would get dinner in my area, walk around for a bit, then we would go back to my apartment to watch some Netflix or HBO (she might be interested in GoT). Sound like a good plan?
 
Alright GAF, I'm bored at work and this was on my mind so I'll give it a try. There's a chick I'm interested in. She's a year above me and in a different major, I met her through a language class (japanese, otakus hurr jk i don't think either of us watch anime). My school is fairly small so our friends kind of overlap, but not enough to run into her when hanging out with my groupies or whatever. I really wanted to ask her out last year, I started sitting next to her during class since there are a lot of pair exercises just to chat with her, blah blah etc, but even if the opportunity for a clever date inquiry came up I was always stumped because I didn't actually have any date idea :(

so I come here to ask GAF, whatre some swag first dates? here are the factors I've been considering:

-Nothing 'too' 1-on-1, as in no candlelit dinner or whatever the fuck, something thats chill and something you'd do w/ a family member or friend is what I'm aiming at. maybe a movie, but dinner just doesnt seem like a good idea
-she's korean (i'm not asian)
-she's a fairly devout christian based on some fb statuses, or at least really likes god
-we're in socal about 15 mins away from LA, and i do have a car
-i'm not 21
-she likes "He's Just not into You"( this was gleaned off her fb quotes and favorite movies) so i was gonna watch it some time and maybe pluck something from that

So far the best i've come up with is either asking her out on a 'hang-out date' where we check out some places (like the crystal cathedral, some random LA parks, ice cream, that kinda thing), OR my other is the LA philharmonic.

since my other relationships never really came from some explicit first date and more from just hanging out a lot I'm a little lost here, and i'm not sure if GAF is even the right place for this lol.

Bolded sounds great. Typically on a first date you'll want to choose an activity that you guys will be able to chat during. Basically, a movie isn't generally a good first date. You guys need to talk to each other, learn about each other, and what not. Bringing her around town sounds like a great idea.

A show or a movie would be a decent second date.
 
Alright GAF, I'm bored at work and this was on my mind so I'll give it a try. There's a chick I'm interested in. She's a year above me and in a different major, I met her through a language class (japanese, otakus hurr jk i don't think either of us watch anime). My school is fairly small so our friends kind of overlap, but not enough to run into her when hanging out with my groupies or whatever. I really wanted to ask her out last year, I started sitting next to her during class since there are a lot of pair exercises just to chat with her, blah blah etc, but even if the opportunity for a clever date inquiry came up I was always stumped because I didn't actually have any date idea :(

so I come here to ask GAF, whatre some swag first dates? here are the factors I've been considering:

-Nothing 'too' 1-on-1, as in no candlelit dinner or whatever the fuck, something thats chill and something you'd do w/ a family member or friend is what I'm aiming at. maybe a movie, but dinner just doesnt seem like a good idea
-she's korean (i'm not asian)
-she's a fairly devout christian based on some fb statuses, or at least really likes god
-we're in socal about 15 mins away from LA, and i do have a car
-i'm not 21
-she likes "He's Just not into You"( this was gleaned off her fb quotes and favorite movies) so i was gonna watch it some time and maybe pluck something from that

So far the best i've come up with is either asking her out on a 'hang-out date' where we check out some places (like the crystal cathedral, some random LA parks, ice cream, that kinda thing), OR my other is the LA philharmonic.

since my other relationships never really came from some explicit first date and more from just hanging out a lot I'm a little lost here, and i'm not sure if GAF is even the right place for this lol.

Drive.

drive_idonthavewheels_hd.jpg

A night drive through the city with lovely music on. How often do people do that on first dates? Semi-relaxing, unique, quiet and sorta intimate.

Just don't stomp a dude to death in front of her.
 
Just came back from a 2nd date with a girl I met on Match. We met in her neighborhood, got lunch, walked around, got frozen yogurt, and talked for a bit. Overall about a 3 hour date. Always talking to each other so no awkward pauses and she hasn't pulled out her cell phone ever. And we are starting to get to know each other well.

A couple of nuisances though are she hasn't really made physical contact with me despite me playfully touching her arm every so often (we still hugged at the beginning and end of the dates). And no kiss yet although I think both of us are a little too shy to initiate it.

So GAF help me on this. I was thinking for the 3rd date we would get dinner in my area, walk around for a bit, then we would go back to my apartment to watch some Netflix or HBO (she might be interested in GoT). Sound like a good plan?

No worries dude, but you are right (IMO) that you need to step up to the plate and make a move.

You are the man, be one. Put yourself in an easy situation for the kiss. Watching TV on a couch. Cooking dinner (or a desert) in the kitchen. (You can easily move in and out of her personal space in a kitchen). I like to do things that have you more moving...no awkward reaches.

She probably wants to kiss you if she agrees to a date 3.

Go get'em tiger.
 
My ex came by my place today to give me my stuff back. I asked if she was sure this is what she wanted. We both started crying, she said that it's not that she doesn't like me, it's that she just wants to like multiple people, and knows that I wouldn't go for that, and it's not fair to force it on me. We hugged, while we were both crying, and she left.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.

It's pretty simple.

If you stay in contact and be friends with her, she has lost nothing. She gets to fool around with other guys AND she gets to keep your emotional support and attention.

Why the FUCK should she get everything she wants when she's putting you through this? Fuck her selfish bullshit.

Cut off contact and let her feel what life is like without you. Make her feel an actual LOSS of something, and if she can handle it, fine. You both move on having sacrificed something. If she can't, then she weighs her decision and maybe you rekindle something.

Don't give her anything she hasn't earned. You treat her well when she treats you well.
 
One more pic. I realize those buzz cut pics are two years old, if not more, so I just took this one with my new buzzcut. Is it better than long?

Quote to reveal:



I think I like it more than long. Definitely more convenient.
 
Nah son. Incredibly enormously false.
In my defense what I typed was different than what I originally meant to convey.

I will argue though that at ages 18-24 it is an enormous factor for girls, though.
One more pic. I realize those buzz cut pics are two years old, if not more, so I just took this one with my new buzzcut. Is it better than long?

Quote to reveal:

I think I like it more than long. Definitely more convenient.
Looks good. Now just put a little more muscle on.
 
I'm thinking I will go for this style.

tumblr_m4a5bjpSfh1rnk728o1_500.jpg


zachary-quinto-gq-germany-june-2009.jpg


I just wish I had a regular stylist/barber to go see with this stuff.

As long as you don't roll those pants up and buy shirt that look like they're made for children like that dweeb, you'll be fine with a cut like that.

And actually it might sound bad but don't go to a barber but actually go to salons, mainly because I guess anytime I've gone to a proper "old-school" barber, they do give you a great shave but they don't know how to give a haircut outside of like flattops and the like, unfortunately. But salons, while maybe perceived as "girly" or whatever nonsense, will be more focused on modern styles (hopefully) and will have better stylists.
 
Picture #1: Just grow your hair out and then have the sides and back trimmed shorter.

Picture #2: Just grow your hair out, throw some product in your hair and push it back.

Both look nice.

My hair is already long I was thinking I could walk into a barbershop and just tell them to taper the sides and back. Would be a waste to see a stylist (I usually go to them) only for a simple taper when I don't want the top changed.
 
Oh wise Dating-Age, I have a moral dilemma.


So this past Sunday afternoon I was out at a grocery store where I saw this beautiful girl standing in an isle by herself. Did a cold approach, talked to her for about five minutes until she asked me if I would like to continue shopping with her. So we're basically walking around the store for the next twenty minutes and things are going extremely well. She's laughing a lot, flirting, light touching and all that jazz. We were basically acting like a couple and it was really just a chill experience. So eventually I go for the number. She looks up at me with a sad face, hesitates for a few seconds, looks down and says she has a boyfriend. Before I can even say anything she looks back up and says " you can have my number, but you have to call me past 10:30". I take her number. So we part ways, I head out to my car, get in, put my face in my hands and let out a huge sigh. At this point my head's spinning, so much so to where I just drive around for the next few hours before I go home. I don't end up texting or calling her that night. Now normal if I get a girls number even though she has a boyfriend I won't think twice about it, I'll just move on to the next one. But as this entire post would pointless if I did that, I do eventually text her that monday night. Texted her something stupid like Cinnamon Toast Crunch is above all cereals (we got into a legit argument about that). She said she was happy I texted her, thought I wouldn't, and we talked for about 2 hours (don't do this btw).


Now over the course of this week we talked everyday (also don't do this) but I never really escalated it past flirting. I figured if I kept it at that level she would lose interest and I guess I would be okay with that. But she never did, her response times were short and she never ever mentioned her boyfriend outside of that very first interaction we had. I badly wanted to ask her out but I kept hesitating because while I don't believe in karma; I do believe in making enemies and getting your ass kicked so I was generally trying to avoid that. I guess she sensed this because yesterday (Thursday) she asked me out for drinks Friday even though I'm 19 (she's 25) and don't drink. I said yes. I know what's going to happen, I'm pretty sure I could call this girl up right now ask her to meet me at a shitty hotel for sex and she would agree to it. So here's my problem. Our personalities match up really well (she's very sarcastic and laid back), I love her voice (she's from Melbourne but moved to the States two years ago), and she's incredibly pretty. I'm scurred and excited at the same time. I need someone to talk me out of this. Talk me out of it or tell me it's no big deal and shit like this happens all the time. I can't go to my friends about this because the last two idiots I texted literally texted back "yolo" so I would like some outside advice.



Edit: Also she looks like an Australian model soooooo I'm kinda thinking with my dick right now.
 
Okay let's talk this out. Do you think she's happy with this guy? Would you be interested in a relationship with her or is it just the excitement of being caught that's the attraction? If she did break up with the guy for you, would you freak out and think she'd do the same to you?
 
My hair is already long I was thinking I could walk into a barbershop and just tell them to taper the sides and back. Would be a waste to see a stylist (I usually go to them) only for a simple taper when I don't want the top changed.

Go for the Phoenix Wright look. That'd be cool.

Oh wise Dating-Age, I have a moral dilemma.


So this past Sunday afternoon I was out at a grocery store where I saw this beautiful girl standing in an isle by herself. Did a cold approach, talked to her for about five minutes until she asked me if I would like to continue shopping with her. So we're basically walking around the store for the next twenty minutes and things are going extremely well. She's laughing a lot, flirting, light touching and all that jazz. We were basically acting like a couple and it was really just a chill experience. So eventually I go for the number. She looks up at me with a sad face, hesitates for a few seconds, looks down and says she has a boyfriend. Before I can even say anything she looks back up and says " you can have my number, but you have to call me past 10:30". I take her number. So we part ways, I head out to my car, get in, put my face in my hands and let out a huge sigh. At this point my head's spinning, so much so to where I just drive around for the next few hours before I go home. I don't end up texting or calling her that night. Now normal if I get a girls number even though she has a boyfriend I won't think twice about it, I'll just move on to the next one. But as this entire post would pointless if I did that, I do eventually text her that monday night. Texted her something stupid like Cinnamon Toast Crunch is above all cereals (we got into a legit argument about that). She said she was happy I texted her, thought I wouldn't, and we talked for about 2 hours (don't do this btw).


Now over the course of this week we talked everyday (also don't do this) but I never really escalated it past flirting. I figured if I kept it at that level she would lose interest and I guess I would be okay with that. But she never did, her response times were short and she never ever mentioned her boyfriend outside of that very first interaction we had. I badly wanted to ask her out but I kept hesitating because while I don't believe in karma; I do believe in making enemies and getting your ass kicked so I was generally trying to avoid that. I guess she sensed this because yesterday (Thursday) she asked me out for drinks Friday even though I'm 19 (she's 25) and don't drink. I said yes. I know what's going to happen, I'm pretty sure I could call this girl up right now ask her to meet me at a shitty hotel for sex and she would agree to it. So here's my problem. Our personalities match up really well (she's very sarcastic and laid back), I love her voice (she's from Melbourne but moved to the States two years ago), and she's incredibly pretty. I'm scurred and excited at the same time. I need someone to talk me out of this. Talk me out of it or tell me it's no big deal and shit like this happens all the time. I can't go to my friends about this because the last two idiots I texted literally texted back "yolo" so I would like some outside advice.



Edit: Also she looks like an Australian model soooooo I'm kinda thinking with my dick right now.

One one hand, she's beautiful and the Australian accent is so damned sexy. But on the other hand, she has a boyfriend. If I were you, I'd talk to her about how serious things are with the boyfriend. You should clarify this situation, it'll be better for you in the long run.
 
Okay let's talk this out. Do you think she's happy with this guy?

No because she never mentions him. I honestly think she didn't even want to tell me but she felt morally obligated.


Would you be interested in a relationship with her or is it just the excitement of being caught

I don't give a shit about the excitement of being caught and yes I would very much like to be in a relationship with her. But the logical part of me knows this is stupid and I'm putting this girl on a pedestal because I've only known her a week (not even that long).

If she did break up with the guy for you, would you freak out and think she'd do the same to you?

No because I'm not naive enough to think anything last forever and I know every situation is different .
 
Oh wise Dating-Age, I have a moral dilemma.


So this past Sunday afternoon I was out at a grocery store where I saw this beautiful girl standing in an isle by herself. Did a cold approach, talked to her for about five minutes until she asked me if I would like to continue shopping with her. So we're basically walking around the store for the next twenty minutes and things are going extremely well. She's laughing a lot, flirting, light touching and all that jazz. We were basically acting like a couple and it was really just a chill experience. So eventually I go for the number. She looks up at me with a sad face, hesitates for a few seconds, looks down and says she has a boyfriend. Before I can even say anything she looks back up and says " you can have my number, but you have to call me past 10:30". I take her number. So we part ways, I head out to my car, get in, put my face in my hands and let out a huge sigh. At this point my head's spinning, so much so to where I just drive around for the next few hours before I go home. I don't end up texting or calling her that night. Now normal if I get a girls number even though she has a boyfriend I won't think twice about it, I'll just move on to the next one. But as this entire post would pointless if I did that, I do eventually text her that monday night. Texted her something stupid like Cinnamon Toast Crunch is above all cereals (we got into a legit argument about that). She said she was happy I texted her, thought I wouldn't, and we talked for about 2 hours (don't do this btw).


Now over the course of this week we talked everyday (also don't do this) but I never really escalated it past flirting. I figured if I kept it at that level she would lose interest and I guess I would be okay with that. But she never did, her response times were short and she never ever mentioned her boyfriend outside of that very first interaction we had. I badly wanted to ask her out but I kept hesitating because while I don't believe in karma; I do believe in making enemies and getting your ass kicked so I was generally trying to avoid that. I guess she sensed this because yesterday (Thursday) she asked me out for drinks Friday even though I'm 19 (she's 25) and don't drink. I said yes. I know what's going to happen, I'm pretty sure I could call this girl up right now ask her to meet me at a shitty hotel for sex and she would agree to it. So here's my problem. Our personalities match up really well (she's very sarcastic and laid back), I love her voice (she's from Melbourne but moved to the States two years ago), and she's incredibly pretty. I'm scurred and excited at the same time. I need someone to talk me out of this. Talk me out of it or tell me it's no big deal and shit like this happens all the time. I can't go to my friends about this because the last two idiots I texted literally texted back "yolo" so I would like some outside advice.



Edit: Also she looks like an Australian model soooooo I'm kinda thinking with my dick right now.

Things with the bf might be bad already. You're the new adventure she was craving because she was bored.

Honestly, its either do or be friendzoned.

What you can try is to subtly extract info over drinks. Whatever you do, learn from the experience, but don't regret later blowing your chance of sex with a hot aussie if you don't do it.
 
No because she never mentions him. I honestly think she didn't even want to tell me but she felt morally obligated.




I don't give a shit about the excitement of being caught and yes I would very much like to be in a relationship with her. But the logical part of me knows this is stupid and I'm putting this girl on a pedestal because I've only known her a week (not even that long).



No because I'm not naive enough to think anything last forever and I know every situation is different .

Then meet her for a drink or something this week and tell her what's on your mind. If you're not comfortable moving forward while she's in a relationship, tell her. If you are comfortable with it, close the deal.
 
One one hand, she's beautiful and the Australian accent is so damned sexy. But on the other hand, she has a boyfriend. If I were you, I'd talk to her about how serious things are with the boyfriend. You should clarify this situation, it'll be better for you in the long run.

I actually just asked her about this and she said we'll talk on Friday. Yeah....


Edit: I told her to at least tell me how long they've been together and she said 2 years. Double yeah...
 
Oh wise Dating-Age, I have a moral dilemma.


So this past Sunday afternoon I was out at a grocery store where I saw this beautiful girl standing in an isle by herself. Did a cold approach, talked to her for about five minutes until she asked me if I would like to continue shopping with her. So we're basically walking around the store for the next twenty minutes and things are going extremely well. She's laughing a lot, flirting, light touching and all that jazz. We were basically acting like a couple and it was really just a chill experience. So eventually I go for the number. She looks up at me with a sad face, hesitates for a few seconds, looks down and says she has a boyfriend. Before I can even say anything she looks back up and says " you can have my number, but you have to call me past 10:30". I take her number. So we part ways, I head out to my car, get in, put my face in my hands and let out a huge sigh. At this point my head's spinning, so much so to where I just drive around for the next few hours before I go home. I don't end up texting or calling her that night. Now normal if I get a girls number even though she has a boyfriend I won't think twice about it, I'll just move on to the next one. But as this entire post would pointless if I did that, I do eventually text her that monday night. Texted her something stupid like Cinnamon Toast Crunch is above all cereals (we got into a legit argument about that). She said she was happy I texted her, thought I wouldn't, and we talked for about 2 hours (don't do this btw).


Now over the course of this week we talked everyday (also don't do this) but I never really escalated it past flirting. I figured if I kept it at that level she would lose interest and I guess I would be okay with that. But she never did, her response times were short and she never ever mentioned her boyfriend outside of that very first interaction we had. I badly wanted to ask her out but I kept hesitating because while I don't believe in karma; I do believe in making enemies and getting your ass kicked so I was generally trying to avoid that. I guess she sensed this because yesterday (Thursday) she asked me out for drinks Friday even though I'm 19 (she's 25) and don't drink. I said yes. I know what's going to happen, I'm pretty sure I could call this girl up right now ask her to meet me at a shitty hotel for sex and she would agree to it. So here's my problem. Our personalities match up really well (she's very sarcastic and laid back), I love her voice (she's from Melbourne but moved to the States two years ago), and she's incredibly pretty. I'm scurred and excited at the same time. I need someone to talk me out of this. Talk me out of it or tell me it's no big deal and shit like this happens all the time. I can't go to my friends about this because the last two idiots I texted literally texted back "yolo" so I would like some outside advice.



Edit: Also she looks like an Australian model soooooo I'm kinda thinking with my dick right now.

Have you got any idea how serious this boyfriend of her is?
Some girls say they got a boyfriend when they ony been on a few dates..
I would just go, but i tend to think with my dick to much.
 
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