Will you give that shit a rest already?
That's what I'm worried about. If I ask this girl out, and she's not keen on the idea, it's going to be awkward as fuck if I hang around the same people as her.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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Will you give that shit a rest already?
That's what I'm worried about. If I ask this girl out, and she's not keen on the idea, it's going to be awkward as fuck if I hang around the same people as her.
Vermillion
Banned
Don't worry about what happens if she says no. You like her right? Then go for it. So many things could happen that could get in your way in the future, so you ask her out as soon as you can. Worry about what happens if she says no if she actually says no. Just don't make it weird or awkward. If she says no, pretend nothing happened.
I have experience with doing exactly the opposite. Don't do it and don't wait. Because you'll constantly be thinking about the missed opportunities, trust me. Even if you aren't sad about it, you'll be constantly wondering. Do what you gotta do, broski.
Vermillion
Banned
a bag of money and a pointy stick.
Walk softly and carry a big stick, otherwise the girl gets spooked.
True Underdog
Member
That's the thing, I got out of a long relationship (the girl with all the tats) almost a year ago and was perfectly fine being single after the initial "hurt" went away (she had a kid and I got attached). I travelled, went on road trips, picked up girls at bars, I had a great time. Rewind to a couple months ago and I start dating this girl and now after it ended, I feel different than after the last time. I know I can pick up girls at a bar but I want to start meeting women elsewhere, dating around, and then find someone to have a relationship with. I'm really just trying to put myself out there as much as I can, I guess.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
Make it causal enough and it won't be a problem.
Then you just step it up slowly each time you get her out.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
It's not the same list for me (I don't mind tats, piercings, religion or occasional smoking of tobacco), but its not an unreasonable list by any stretch of the imagination.
The Antitype
Banned
'Must not be crazy' eliminates 99% of the female population. You may want to compromise on that one a little.
How about 'must not be an axe-murderer' or 'must not be prone to break out into sobbing fits' instead?
Let me throw my hat into the ring here too. Also I think another GAFFer (Smelly Tramp) was in a similar position a month or so back too.
I Broke up with the GF about a month ago - went through a lot of drama and hurt. Currently we're both just doing our own thing. However, in the few times we have talked - the idea has been thrown around about getting back together "at some point".
It makes things really complicated. Quite honestly - I really don't know where we stand, which has been hard. Part of me just wants to move on and put myself back out there. Alternatively, we broke up over something stupid - I'd rather not ruin any chance of reconciling just because I try to get into another relationship again.
The Antitype
Banned
IMO, this is a horrible thing she's doing to you. I think it's pretty fucking selfish actually.
If a girl told me there was a chance of getting back together 'some day', then I would operate under the assumption that it won't happen. Not because she's a liar, but because she's just setting you up for disappointment if it doesn't happen (which is more likely... because people break up for a reason).
I've been in love, and been through hell when it ended, but holding on to that and keeping it from letting you move forward and meet new, better people (or people who are a better fit) is unhealthy.
I would advise anybody holding out hope that a relationship would rekindle based on the vague considerations of an ex to move on. Don't rush into a relationship just for the sake of being in one, but don't hesitate to move forward with new people just cause of some faint hope for the previous one.
Indeed. I actually feel the exact same way. In fact, I have told her as such. It ultimately lead to more fighting. Her primary response / point being "Well remember that you broke up with me". "Now I need time to sort things out". "I just want some space". In essence she reversed the breakup, as I went back and tried to fix things.
My view has been that when you -really- want to be with someone, or that you actually love them - you'll try and work things out. Especially when they're at their worst. No matter what. I have relayed this stance to her as well - only to hear similar responses. "Well then you shouldn't have broke up with me".
In the end all I can really do is focus on me and try to forget about her. I get that she's still hurting. Likewise I really don't think that space is that bad of a thing. Today my main objective is not become (or have her think) that I'm some guy she can just fall back on. Even after three years. I guess the only problem recently is that I still answer (most of the time) when she calls. I should probably be avoiding her entirely. And when those conversations do happen, talks regarding us getting back together come up. In addition to her being rather loving / supportive. Which is somewhat odd (imo). Though not unsurprising if he goal is just to string me along till she figures things out.
At any rate I appreciate your insight, Antitype.
Its been a little bit over two months since my relationship of 6 years ended, and man I still feel weird being a lone wolf again. I should say that since I came to the US when I was 14 years old, I have always been more or less a lone wolf. I went to see Explosions in the Sky couple of weeks ago, I felt sad being there by myself. My ex messages me about once a week to see how I'm doing, always reply with an "I'm okay" and ask how she's doing.
I suppose I just miss having someone to hang out with.
I suppose I just miss having someone to hang out with.
I have an ex that completely proves this chart wrong.
I totally to relate to all you guys talking about post-relationship traumatic stress lol, my and my ex broke up in November because of long distance and some other stuff but we still talked til April which I think was a really bad idea looking back, gave me false hope. I just started dating someone new and I still feel weird when she's supportive or actually wants to hang out with me, which I know is crazy but goes back to how hurt I was by my ex, for all you guys I was totally in the same boat and it does get better, i know it's hard but meeting new people is the best thing to do, bars, online, friends of friends whatever
Vermillion
Banned
Nerds with Guns
Banned
"That's so sweet but you're not my type sorry. I really think that you're one of my closest friends". Convince me to keep going gaf.
Forever alone-age represent!
What's with the sudden trend to ask out girls who are already your friends?
For anyone who saw my pics: Do I look goofier with long or short hair? I just remembered I knew this girl when I had short hair, and I have fairly long hair now. For those who didn't see pics of me I have a fat-face (but I'm not fat) and a big nose. Not sure if long hair helps hide that or makes it worse.
I think it's more gaining the confidence to ask out a girl that you couldn't bring yourself to before so you ended up friends.
Usually leads to rejection.
Unfortunately, It's kind of hard to ask someone out randomly like people say to do. I find I'm more attracted to someone after I've become friends first, than not knowing them at all.
"you're one of my closest friends"
Yes...that's kind of the point.
I know what you mean, all my serious relationships have been with people I was friends with first, I've gone on dates with strangers and acquaintances, but I just find it hard to connect with someone that quickly. Repeated dates do help, but still haven't ever found a serious relationship from 'dating'.
Then again, it can be really hard to be friends with someone you are interested in so I generally try to avoid it, I have a friend who is probably the person most compatible with me that I've met, but she has no romantic interest in me. But we get along so well that I'm not just going to stop spending time with her.
Contradictory? Yes.
Nerds with Guns
Banned
I don't get this attitude. You ask out a random girl, she says no, you move on. With a girl who is already a friend it's much more complicated. She says no, things could get awkward. She could start distancing herself from you or vice versa. And now you go from a situation where you at least had a friendship to a situation where you constantly avoid each other and no friendship. Why?
Because you like her and want something more than friendship?... Kinda obvious.
Nerds with Guns
Banned
I was talking about the fear of asking out a random girl versus a girl who is a friend because there is so much more risk with the latter.
Well said. Appreciate your input man. I think we all know its going to get better - shit just takes time. Which is though, but we'll live.
Fuck everything, I think I went through almost every profile within a 40 mile radius on OKCupid. I messaged a couple, but they haven't been online since then. Other than that, they all had some dealbreaker, or were just like my most recent ex: pretty much exactly what I want, and then they don't want a serious relationship at all. This seems so hopeless.
Can I get some suggestions for places to meet women that aren't bars preferably?
Can I get some suggestions for places to meet women that aren't bars preferably?
Nerds with Guns
Banned
You'll have to post both styles again so we can compare. I only remember seeing short.
I'm pretty sure I only showed you guys long, which was just combed back. I usually just wear a baseball cap these days.
Ah, 22. I'm also attending a college, but it's summer semesters right now and there's not as many people here. Also this town is kind of small and doesn't have everything, but there's a bigger city about 30 miles down the highway.
Had a dull date tonight which marked the third date with this girl over the last month. I think I'm done with her. I can't hold a conversation with her no matter how simple the topic and she is closed-minded to doing anything that requires even a little effort -- like mini-golf. Her ideal date is basically getting dinner....
You've got a good smile man. Personally I think you can pull off either hairstyle. Girl-GAF should weigh in though.
I say long, but you aren't bad looking in either style.
You can do fine with the ladies. Just need to go in with confidence and you'll be set.
Arjen
Member
You can rock either, but personally i think you look better with short hair.
Work on style, confidence and how you approach ladies. Its insulting to call yourself ugly really.
wormstrangler
Banned
I kind of want to go back to short hair, as I've had it that way most of my life and find it a lot more convenient and appealing, but I'm worried that I might not look as good and then I can't go back, at least not for quite a while.
Also Baldddemon if it didn't look like you had mascara on then that'd be a fucking awesome pic.
Also Baldddemon if it didn't look like you had mascara on then that'd be a fucking awesome pic.
The Antitype
Banned
lmao dude ur fuckin ridiculous. you look fine.
THIS is what an ugly picture looks like
No, the semi-sociopathic blank stare would excite more vaginas than it turned off.
^gotta work all the angles my man, you're right about that
shorter is always better btw
http://i.imgur.com/Z2F4t.png
compared to
http://i.imgur.com/gZDLM.png
links cuz i dont wanna shit up this thread with pictures of me lol
lol yeah it's just mud from a day of monsoon like rain and playing football in the mud field then washing off in the ocean. maybe you should go to hawaii, pretty awesome place.
shorter is always better btw
http://i.imgur.com/Z2F4t.png
compared to
http://i.imgur.com/gZDLM.png
links cuz i dont wanna shit up this thread with pictures of me lol
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