Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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ClassyPenguin
Banned
Has anyone had experience with checking into a psych ward?
I know in my low states I do have a high risk of self harm, and I'm wondering if it can help during those 2-4 weeks, where I am stuck.
Right now I feel a bit better, although still lonely and all that. But, I know that this state doesn't last forever and so I am doing my best to look for work and try to focus on and develop the skills I have.
At the same time, I want to self-guard against the low episodes where I feel absolutely hopeless.
Also, feel free to PM if you need someone to talk to. I'm sure I can connect with many of our fellow depression sufferers.
I know in my low states I do have a high risk of self harm, and I'm wondering if it can help during those 2-4 weeks, where I am stuck.
Right now I feel a bit better, although still lonely and all that. But, I know that this state doesn't last forever and so I am doing my best to look for work and try to focus on and develop the skills I have.
At the same time, I want to self-guard against the low episodes where I feel absolutely hopeless.
Also, feel free to PM if you need someone to talk to. I'm sure I can connect with many of our fellow depression sufferers.
Charoncaori
Member
Sadsic, I hope you're okay. I'm sorry I can't offer any comfort. PM me if you want to talk, I'm depressed too but I could try to distract you by talking about something else...?
SlipperySlope, maybe you should talk to a therapist/psychiatrist about the thoughts, if you think they're like, compulsions. I'm too tired to describe it properly but it can be a side-effect of meds or a symptom of something else. Like, if the thoughts are popping into your head and you can't do anything about them at all.
I kinda get those too sometimes, or I'll imagine what will happen if the building I'm in collapses or something, so I think it can be normal, but I think it's also connected to social anxiety...
I really miss my mom... It's depressing knowing that nothing more can be done about our relationship... I wish I had been in a better place emotionally so that I could have talked with her more while she was alive.
SlipperySlope, maybe you should talk to a therapist/psychiatrist about the thoughts, if you think they're like, compulsions. I'm too tired to describe it properly but it can be a side-effect of meds or a symptom of something else. Like, if the thoughts are popping into your head and you can't do anything about them at all.
I kinda get those too sometimes, or I'll imagine what will happen if the building I'm in collapses or something, so I think it can be normal, but I think it's also connected to social anxiety...
I really miss my mom... It's depressing knowing that nothing more can be done about our relationship... I wish I had been in a better place emotionally so that I could have talked with her more while she was alive.
Vermillion
Banned
I know that feel, actually. I don't fantasize about sex with the girls I pass on the street, but I do imagine it with a few I know. I care about the relationship aspect more anyways.
I also know that other feel. When I was younger, I'd do it all the time. But I always hoped I'd die in some heroic fashion, so people would remember me. Sometimes I didn't care how I died. I was a foolish child, then. All it takes is remembering the value of life.
There was one show where a guy was distraught about how terrible his relationships had been, and he was so consumed by the pain, he wished to forget it all. After failing to convince him otherwise, his fairy godparent finally decided he would erase the memories. But first, he showed the guy all of the happy moments in his relationships. The guy shouted "STOP! I want to keep the memories." Slip, I've never been in a relationship before. I've gotta keep looking. But you do too, and you have to keep the happiness of past relationships and the good times in your mind. Use those to keep you going.
I watched the premiere of Political Animals the other day. And upon receiving some bad news, a journalist asked Sigourney Weaver's character, "how do you keep going"? She answered that life is filled with bad moments, with the great moments few and far inbetween. But if you don't keep going, you'll never get to the next great moment. So keep those bad relationships and all those times where it didn't work out in your mind. Use the bad as your roadmap and the good to keep you going. I have faith that you'll meet a wonderful girl that is more than you could have ever dreamed. Don't you want to make yourself good for her?
Vermillion
Banned
Tell me, what is missing from your life?
Vermillion
Banned
Why?
im not worth that
i feel envious you can even do that
im gonna stop posting now for a while
Vermillion
Banned
Hey, sadsic, talk to me
I can kind of relate to your family issues. My mom has a alzheimers style degenerative brain disorder that started eating away at her right when I got to college.She can't walk or talk really now, but she does remember a lot of things very clearly from before her illness. I did all kinds of wacky things to sort of deal with it, and the situation just keeps getting more and more bizzare. I loved where I grew up so much, but ever since my mom got sick, it's just so different there now. My dad recently just divorced her because the state passed a law recently requiring him to pay more money out of his retirement pension to pay for her care facility. Then my mom's sister stepped in and took legal custody of my mother and then turned around to demand huge amounts of money from my dad. She's my aunt and my godmother too, so I did sort of lean on her in place of my mother, so it really hurts almost that she is doing this to our family that has already had to go through all this stuff.
The last 3 semesters of college for me were almost impossible. I was a good student until then, but I was near catatonic during that time. I couldn't even get out of bed to just go to class, etc. Also experienced some scarring relationship stuff during that time. Huge student debt, no idea how I was going to get a job with the degree I didn't initially intend on majoring in. I really drifted for a number of years, didn't make any friends, etc. I flirted with some anti depressants, but I just wasnt comfortable. A part of me wonders if I had taken some anti anxiety medication then if it would have helped. I really destroyed my GPA which really screwed me over for grad school. I mean it wouldn't have been bad to be an unemotioinal zombie then if it meant getting decent grades. I was worried thought that it wouldn't help or even hurt me in the long run...
But I more or less have dug myself out of that depression. I'm doing pretty well now, although I do feel that I'm not as far along in life as I should be careerwise or money wise. That was dragging me down earlier this week, especially since I had a higher paying job like 5 years ago than I do now (although I like the job I have now more).
I don't know, I'm just writing this in part to give some of you hope. Your problems aren't going to get fixed over night. My big depression was over a decade ago, and I still don't feel completely free from it. But I have been able to experience and explore things I've wanted to do and improve my life to where I'm much happier. I always remember Deng Xiaopeng for some inspiration. He was jailed and blocked and driven down constantly, but he kept digging himself out of holes and persevering in life. It always helped me to have goals to keep persevering. One of the reasons I fell into that depression was I had missed some important goals and had none. I was totally directionless. I can't say that will help anyone here, but it has helped me.
I hope you don't do anything drastic, Sadsic. PonyGAF misses you. Come hang out for a bit. Your music is pretty damn awesome.
In 7 years of seeing you around, I've never seen your real name randomly pop up, moose.
If you can't talk freely here, talk to people 1v1 in PM's. A lot of people here are more than happy to chat.
In 7 years of seeing you around, I've never seen your real name randomly pop up, moose.
If you can't talk freely here, talk to people 1v1 in PM's. A lot of people here are more than happy to chat.
A friend of mine ended up in a psych ward for a week, which didn't do anything but help him in the long-run. The main thing they did there was change his pills from ones that were making him worse to ones that helped. I visited him there, and it seemed an ok place. There was a high-security one next door, but the one he was on was relatively low security. It had an understandably slightly odd atmosphere, but a lovely-ish garden and comfortable looking TV room.
SlipperySlope
Banned
Thanks for the advice.
Vermillion
Banned
Trick question, you're supposed to live.
but what if you're completely disenchanted with everything good?
in that happiness is just chemicals designed to get you to be productive, and that nothing means anything
Vermillion
Banned
Well, you'll have to ask yourself why that's so.
And then, take that opportunity to get perspective. Everyone has potential to be more than they are, no matter how depressed. uchip, I imagine that you can make good of the life you have. After you realize that feeling sad won't help you get where you want to be, it really helps in forcing yourself out of the mentality you're in. You want to use the time you have as best as you can.
What do you want from your life? What would you consider to be good?
heh
ive been here most of my life
its not going to change and im not sure what i want
Vermillion
Banned
Vermillion
Banned
Well you're posting on a videogame forum - how did you find GAF?
How old are you? I'm asking because time does make a difference. I was in a nihilistic hole around the end of my high-school years too.
26
I dont even remember
my memory is shot to shit
I often forget what im even doing
Thanks dude.
Charoncaori
Member
Uchip, I'm sorry. I'm a couple years younger than you and I don't know what I want either.
But this is all there is, you can't change anything from the other side... I hope life starts being enjoyable for you. You can always at least change your outlook.
But this is all there is, you can't change anything from the other side... I hope life starts being enjoyable for you. You can always at least change your outlook.
there is now a 5 year gap on my resume resulting in when i became too sick to work
time wears you down, its not going to get any better from here
Charoncaori
Member
Thank you for your post. I hope I can dig myself out too. My situation is pretty similar, though I've never really done well in college for more than a semester.
Maybe I could make games... I want to feel like I'm doing something that makes other people happy.
I can't give you advice except that you have to want to get better in order to feel better.
I think I can reach that state of mind. It's kept me going my entire life, the belief that you can change. The second I stop believing that I will kill myself.
yeah
read that in every self help book
I believe it to be a placebo for people that are making themselves depressed
and it has little bearing on clinical depression
hmm. You're wrong. Try again!
mind telling me how im wrong rather than patronizing me?
Charoncaori
Member
That isn't a cure-all, but it's the start. Forcing someone into therapy doesn't work. I know first-hand. You HAVE to make major life changes if you want to climb out of a long-term depression. And it's fucking hard. You have to know what you want to fix, and work towards fixing it, with therapy, or meds, or whatever. But other people can't fix it for you.
And I'm sorry if Eric or I are coming off as rude, we've spent the last couple of days trying to convince Sadsic life is worth living.
ive stated many times in this thread just how far ive gone to get out of this
and how its been reminder after reminder than I cant be alright
Vermillion
Banned
You have some interests - I can see that from your previous posts. But I'll ask you this - do you want to be happy?
One thing I'd like to add that has probably been said many times before:
Talking to people on forums is better than nothing and probably an easier step. So keep on doing that.
But it is much harder to deal with real life problems here. People don't know you and your situation, and it's much harder to keep up a real dialog.
So please, get real life help if you suffer from depression. People on the net can always try to help, but we're not trained and have almost no chance to help you in the worst moments. Talk to someone who is able to actually help you.
Apart from that, I can probably not be of much help, but I can tell you how I got over my worst times. Maybe some of you might find a primer in there, although I do recognize that I was always in a privileged position compared to some people in here.
-Talk to people. If you have a good relationship with your parents, they should be your first start. If not, find someone else. Get a therapist (I hope that's covered by health care in your area.)
- Short term solution: Distract yourself. This sounds really stupid, but whenever I get panic attacks, I just start a stupid video or something else completely unrelated.
Don't use drugs/alcohol to do it, though.
-Get out, do something. This is the worst advice ever, because it's so hard to do, but it's the only thing that can really help you in the long run. Do stuff that seems pointless to you, and it may help you. Take a walk and realize the beauty and fascination of the word around you. Join groups and find something that's fun to you and gets you in contact with people.
- Get away from the things that pull you down. I cut ties with people that I liked a lot, because I knew that it would make me feel better in the end. And it truly helped. Whether it's people who are related to you, friends that pull you down or girls you're in a friendzone with, realize that if you're depressed you need to care about yourself first and foremost. Don't burden yourself with stuff that you have no control over. Your main obligation is to help yourself.
- Don't compare yourself to others. There's always gonna be people who are better at something. I've hidden some of my best friends on Facebook in situations where I knew we both had to do something that they would be a lot better at, and it helps, because I can concentrate on doing my thing in the time I need for it.
-GIVE IT TIME. Most things get better better in time. Really, they do. If you fail to do something right now, there's probably a hundred ways to do it differently down the road. Stuff I thought I could never get over are gone now, and I'm happy. At one point I realized, there's so much stuff in the world that I love that no one can take away from me. Nature, videos, music, smells, science, colors, the weirdness of people... Everything can be a source of joy if you let it.
This is all vanilla bullshit, but if you look back at your life ten years from now, you might find some of it came true for you.
Talking to people on forums is better than nothing and probably an easier step. So keep on doing that.
But it is much harder to deal with real life problems here. People don't know you and your situation, and it's much harder to keep up a real dialog.
So please, get real life help if you suffer from depression. People on the net can always try to help, but we're not trained and have almost no chance to help you in the worst moments. Talk to someone who is able to actually help you.
Apart from that, I can probably not be of much help, but I can tell you how I got over my worst times. Maybe some of you might find a primer in there, although I do recognize that I was always in a privileged position compared to some people in here.
-Talk to people. If you have a good relationship with your parents, they should be your first start. If not, find someone else. Get a therapist (I hope that's covered by health care in your area.)
- Short term solution: Distract yourself. This sounds really stupid, but whenever I get panic attacks, I just start a stupid video or something else completely unrelated.
Don't use drugs/alcohol to do it, though.
-Get out, do something. This is the worst advice ever, because it's so hard to do, but it's the only thing that can really help you in the long run. Do stuff that seems pointless to you, and it may help you. Take a walk and realize the beauty and fascination of the word around you. Join groups and find something that's fun to you and gets you in contact with people.
- Get away from the things that pull you down. I cut ties with people that I liked a lot, because I knew that it would make me feel better in the end. And it truly helped. Whether it's people who are related to you, friends that pull you down or girls you're in a friendzone with, realize that if you're depressed you need to care about yourself first and foremost. Don't burden yourself with stuff that you have no control over. Your main obligation is to help yourself.
- Don't compare yourself to others. There's always gonna be people who are better at something. I've hidden some of my best friends on Facebook in situations where I knew we both had to do something that they would be a lot better at, and it helps, because I can concentrate on doing my thing in the time I need for it.
-GIVE IT TIME. Most things get better better in time. Really, they do. If you fail to do something right now, there's probably a hundred ways to do it differently down the road. Stuff I thought I could never get over are gone now, and I'm happy. At one point I realized, there's so much stuff in the world that I love that no one can take away from me. Nature, videos, music, smells, science, colors, the weirdness of people... Everything can be a source of joy if you let it.
This is all vanilla bullshit, but if you look back at your life ten years from now, you might find some of it came true for you.
this has to be a rhetorical question
though at this point its hard to remember a time where that was the case
Charoncaori
Member
I can't think of a way to respond to this without coming off as belittling or patronizing or rude. I'm sorry.
There's hope as long as you are alive.
I'm sorry, I can't talk about this anymore right now.
Vermillion
Banned
Alright, when were you last happy?
Vermillion
Banned
Yeah, but you have to have been happy once.
Vermillion
Banned
So you don't even remember what happiness is like?
In that case, what makes you feel relaxed?
nothing
I have a terrible sleep and an everlasting migraine coupled with a broken brain
So ive been depressed for about 10 years, clinically for 2, gone through 5 therapists and numerous programmes, now onto CBT. I always hate typing out "my story" because its long and I dont have any assumptions people want to hear it. Something my therapist said to me at the last session was that it was ok to be who I was, which sounds obvious but given that who I am is vastly different from most people its something id never considered before. Im nowhere near healthy at the moment but im noticing that time is going by quite quickly and the opportunities i have are slipping fast.
So I asked this in the writing thread before knowing this one existed and ill post it here, i think they did not approve of it in there. Basically about 6 years ago things were very bad, they still are, but during this specific time I was in a place where i was unwelcome and completely confused with life. So during this time i would get by day to day by writing a tv show in my head, I would imagine experiences, or play off ones i had already had, and put some humour into them. I did this for two reasons, one is because i didnt do much and the little i did do tended to have horrible results, so i tried to find the humour in them. I eventually wrote this down and it exists today, I had never written before or since and have 0 interest in doing anything with it, it was purely done for myself.
So i was browsing the BBC today and they have a scheme for people to send in their work, so long as you are not represented or had it denied elsewhere. Its part of a scheme to identify talented writers, which im not, but the script itself is the only thing im proud of, whether its good or not ive no idea. Basically im not very talented at anything, im average joe, slightly less average at most things really and I dont have alot of options in life, especially since my depression makes me spend all my time indoors. This script as it is now exists in this perfect little bubble for me, its a crutch in a way, something i can point to and say "well at least i did that". My brother has read it and loved it, but then he is my sense of humour and he is my brother.
My issue is if they send it back calling it bad, which is most probably is, i dont have any other cards and it will really get me down.
So I asked this in the writing thread before knowing this one existed and ill post it here, i think they did not approve of it in there. Basically about 6 years ago things were very bad, they still are, but during this specific time I was in a place where i was unwelcome and completely confused with life. So during this time i would get by day to day by writing a tv show in my head, I would imagine experiences, or play off ones i had already had, and put some humour into them. I did this for two reasons, one is because i didnt do much and the little i did do tended to have horrible results, so i tried to find the humour in them. I eventually wrote this down and it exists today, I had never written before or since and have 0 interest in doing anything with it, it was purely done for myself.
So i was browsing the BBC today and they have a scheme for people to send in their work, so long as you are not represented or had it denied elsewhere. Its part of a scheme to identify talented writers, which im not, but the script itself is the only thing im proud of, whether its good or not ive no idea. Basically im not very talented at anything, im average joe, slightly less average at most things really and I dont have alot of options in life, especially since my depression makes me spend all my time indoors. This script as it is now exists in this perfect little bubble for me, its a crutch in a way, something i can point to and say "well at least i did that". My brother has read it and loved it, but then he is my sense of humour and he is my brother.
My issue is if they send it back calling it bad, which is most probably is, i dont have any other cards and it will really get me down.
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
there is actually a screenplay-writing thread on GAF too. And if you want to know if it at least works, you could always try to get Gary Whitta to take a (quick) look.
ill be honest i always feel intimidated around people who know what they are doing D:, im sure structurally its an embarrasment
I worked at crappy PT retail, it was okay because the job is mostly a joke in a BS chain store but I felt like life was shit since I never got full hours even if I worked 5 shifts. Now I've been working a better job for almost 3 months already, but I feel like shit since I can't stick to a decent sleeping schedule due to various things.
Ah that's a bummer. Messed up sleep can really throw a guy off. Remember - 8 hours or more!
Figured I'd jump in on this thread - I had to be sent home from work a few days ago, I was a nervous wreck. I'll probably have to resign and take a lower paying, lower stress job. Doctors think I have depression and I'm on prozac. Gotta say, I'm liking it. I can feel the seven straight years of existential angst just melting away
Maybe it's all just chemicals after all
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