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[Prez]

I have to confess though... I am one of them and I hate myself for it. I have pretty high standards when it comes to looks. I have met a few guys who are nice but there is no physical attraction at all. I could have a good emotional relationship with them but thinking about sex with them is a huge turn-off. There's nothing I can do about it. The male body can gross me out as much as it can turn me on.

So yeah, I'm pretty sure I actually deserve this miserable existence.

 

[Wilsongt]

I dont think I have depression, but I'm going to post in here anyways for advice.

I've been talking to someone online since march, and everything was well, until about 2 weeks ago when I told her how I really felt about her. (I thought she felt the same because she was very flirty and always wanted to talk. She lives in oregon and I live across the country in ny. she is also 28 and i'm 21. I didn't think these things really mattered, and if we don't liked each other we could have figured something out. Apparently she met someone else, and then he personality changed for the worst against me. Obviously I felt really sad because she didn't feel the same, and For the next week felt horrible, but I knew that I at least wanted to be friends. Throughout the whole thing after telling her, she ignored me for the majority of the messages I sent her, and the ones she responded were cold and rude. I am still confused and can't figure out why. Maybe I was annoying her with all the messages I sent her, but I wanted to work things out so at least we could be friends. long story short is that she posted on her blog, "get over it already. blah blah blah you'd understand if you did some growing up yourself." for everyone to see. It was obviously directed towards me. She also took off any way of me talking to her. I just can't understand why she changed so drastically in such little amount of time. We used to talk on the phone, and text everyday, but that's all gone out the window. She doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I was nothing but kind to her throughout the whole thing, and during the whole time that we were talking, I was nothing but nice to her also. I was never once rude to her. I can't understand why she is being so rude to me. I guess I just need some type of closure and i'm not getting it.

I'm also 21, and have been getting job offers which require me to move away from my family, but they pay really well. These offers along with the situation with her put me into a really depressed state these past two weeks. I feel this constant pain in my heart, and am always sleeping. I don't know what to do.

Situations like this need time... and I have been through them before, also.

I am guilty of the online stuff, also, and what I have learned is that while people you meet online can be nice, if you cannot meet them in person, do not become emotionally involved. It took me a very long time to come to this reality... I am not saying that it isn't possible to become emotionally involved and have a happy relationship that leads to something away from the computer, because I know it is... Just realize that what you have experienced can also happen, also.

That pain you feel in your chest will subside... You've lost something and you are grieving. It will hurt for a while, but know it won't always be there.

Gay chihuahuas are always a handful.

True. I walked right into that one, too.

I have to confess though... I am one of them and I hate myself for it. I have pretty high standards when it comes to looks. I have met a few guys who are nice but there is no physical attraction at all. I could have a good emotional relationship with them but thinking about sex with them is a huge turn-off. There's nothing I can do about it. The male body can gross me out as much as it can turn me on.

So yeah, I'm pretty sure I actually deserve this miserable existence.

I think we all are. I wouldn't call my standards high, they are just... different. There have been a number of guys who I wasn't emotionally or sexually attracted to who would talk to me constantly, but I never felt that desire or urge to meet them and I am sure that hurt them just as it does with me when it happens to me.

I think I deserve my miserable existence for a different reason, though... No one wants or deserves my baggage... It isn't my right to subject someone else to what I go through...

 

[Charles Foster Kane]

I have to confess though... I am one of them and I hate myself for it. I have pretty high standards when it comes to looks. I have met a few guys who are nice but there is no physical attraction at all. I could have a good emotional relationship with them but thinking about sex with them is a huge turn-off. There's nothing I can do about it. The male body can gross me out as much as it can turn me on.

So yeah, I'm pretty sure I actually deserve this miserable existence.

It's really an intriguing and conflicting thought. It happens to many of us I think.

 

[dagZ]

Situations like this need time... and I have been through them before, also.

I am guilty of the online stuff, also, and what I have learned is that while people you meet online can be nice, if you cannot meet them in person, do not become emotionally involved. It took me a very long time to come to this reality... I am not saying that it isn't possible to become emotionally involved and have a happy relationship that leads to something away from the computer, because I know it is... Just realize that what you have experienced can also happen, also.

That pain you feel in your chest will subside... You've lost something and you are grieving. It will hurt for a while, but know it won't always be there.

yea, i've just been really down in the dumps. It's crazy because the day before she called and was all happy, then the next day she wanted nothing to do with me. I'm so confused. I still really just want to talk to her. I'll get over the relationship part, but being friends...it's not a big deal to just be nice to someone and be their friend.

 

[jdavid459]

So I have been taking 5HTP for about a month or two and I'm not really sure how much it has helped. Maybe a little? I always have a hard time telling. I take 100mg in morning 100mg at night. My doctor said daily doses go to 600mg.

I was just wondering if people have tried 5-htp and what was your successful dosage? My doc said I can keep going up gradually to see if anything changes.

 

[Sub_Level]

I dont think I have depression, but I'm going to post in here anyways for advice.

I've been talking to someone online since march, and everything was well, until about 2 weeks ago when I told her how I really felt about her. (I thought she felt the same because she was very flirty and always wanted to talk. She lives in oregon and I live across the country in ny. she is also 28 and i'm 21. I didn't think these things really mattered, and if we don't liked each other we could have figured something out. Apparently she met someone else, and then he personality changed for the worst against me. Obviously I felt really sad because she didn't feel the same, and For the next week felt horrible, but I knew that I at least wanted to be friends. Throughout the whole thing after telling her, she ignored me for the majority of the messages I sent her, and the ones she responded were cold and rude. I am still confused and can't figure out why. Maybe I was annoying her with all the messages I sent her, but I wanted to work things out so at least we could be friends. long story short is that she posted on her blog, "get over it already. blah blah blah you'd understand if you did some growing up yourself." for everyone to see. It was obviously directed towards me. She also took off any way of me talking to her. I just can't understand why she changed so drastically in such little amount of time. We used to talk on the phone, and text everyday, but that's all gone out the window. She doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I was nothing but kind to her throughout the whole thing, and during the whole time that we were talking, I was nothing but nice to her also. I was never once rude to her. I can't understand why she is being so rude to me. I guess I just need some type of closure and i'm not getting it.

I'm also 21, and have been getting job offers which require me to move away from my family, but they pay really well. These offers along with the situation with her put me into a really depressed state these past two weeks. I feel this constant pain in my heart, and am always sleeping. I don't know what to do.

As far as the girl is concerned, just let it go. It sounds like she pretty clearly doesn't want to talk to you. It doesn't necessarily mean that you acted "the wrong way" or made a mistake, she's just not into you. There's no need to take it personally, you don't win them all (even if you're just looking for friendship). If she was a bit mean about it that's definitely more a reflection on her character, but your concern is moving on. And as far as closure goes, life is not always like a story. Sometimes people just split apart for very basic reasons and there's little or no drama. If you can take away anything from it, it's that. Keep your head up and look forward to the next girl, whenever that may come. Hopefully you'll meet her in person, too, not online.

The job thing, on the other hand; that's something that is actually worth losing sleep over. Moving away from family is a big decision. I'm 21 myself and am looking forward to doing that in 2014.

yea, i've just been really down in the dumps. It's crazy because the day before she called and was all happy, then the next day she wanted nothing to do with me. I'm so confused.

Many people (both male and female) have emotions that are akin to a flag blowing in whatever direction the wind takes them. Their minds can change like that. It's happened to me, and the rejection hurts, but only you can let it really hurt you at a strong emotional level.

 

[dagZ]

As far as the girl is concerned, just let it go. It sounds like she pretty clearly doesn't want to talk to you. It doesn't necessarily mean that you acted "the wrong way" or made a mistake, she's just not into you. There's no need to take it personally, you don't win them all (even if you're just looking for friendship). If she was a bit mean about it that's definitely more a reflection on her character, but your concern is moving on. And as far as closure goes, life is not always like a story. Sometimes people just split apart for very basic reasons and there's little or no drama. If you can take away anything from it, it's that. Keep your head up and look forward to the next girl, whenever that may come. Hopefully you'll meet her in person, too, not online.

The job thing, on the other hand; that's something that is actually worth losing sleep over. Moving away from family is a big decision. I'm 21 myself and am looking forward to doing that in 2014.



Many people (both male and female) have emotions that are akin to a flag blowing in whatever direction the wind takes them. Their minds can change like that. It's happened to me, and the rejection hurts, but only you can let it really hurt you at a strong emotional level.

yea, I only have 9 days to take the job offer, and I don't know if I can do it. I've never been away from my family and i'm not the outgoing type that can just do that and make friends. And i'm honestly trying to move on, but it's blowing my mind how quickly the situation turned for the worst. Just like that.

 

[Prez]

It's really an intriguing and conflicting thought. It happens to many of us I think.

In the end we're all just animals. Lately I've been reminded of the few times that my sex drive was dead for a couple weeks and I have to admit I'd never felt more human than during those times.

 

[Wilsongt]

In the end we're all just animals. Lately I've been reminded of the few times that my sex drive was dead for a couple weeks and I have to admit I'd never felt more human than during those times.

For me... I am at my best when I am not dealing with an emotional connection to anyone... It's when I ignore that need for love and affection... At that point, I feel pretty darn okay.

 

[scar tissue]

It's not weird at all. In situations where more emotions are involved you get more anxious. That's how it is for me. You don't have to make an emotional connection with your students. It doesn't matter if your doctor or the cashier at the store wants to be friends with you. But as soon as you want to bond with people, you start panicking. It could very well be that you mistakenly think you have social anxiety but in fact you have fear of rejection.

Sounds like it. All the people with SA I know have pretty severe problems speaking in front of people, although obviously that's just my experience.
Personally, I tend to fidget and speak very rapidly. Luckily, I usually still get good marks on my presentations because the content is good.

As for the cashiers, for me that was simple habituation. At age 17, I had pretty severe anxiety interacting with cashiers, but since I faced the exact same situation hundreds of times in the following years, the anxiety pretty much stopped.

 

[Prez]

For me... I am at my best when I am not dealing with an emotional connection to anyone... It's when I ignore that need for love and affection... At that point, I feel pretty darn okay.

That's because you're suppressing those feelings. It works for a little while but eventually you'll crash.

 

[Empty]

fuck i don't understand myself at all. i had a real bad day yesterday and was having lots of suicide related thoughts then listened to some music from one of my favourite upbeat films, had a cup of tea then went for a quick walk in the cold for some fresh air and felt okay again. it's dumb, i mean it was nice to feel fairly good for a bit and escape the worst feelings but i feel so pathetic veering from 'death might be the only thing for me as i see no future' to life is okay based on trivial things like that. i guess they're not trivial really but it'd be nice to have some fundamentals that i feel good about in my life to fall back on.

Edit: Currently reading :59 Seconds again (although I think I didn't finish it the first time) thanks to Ashes' recommendation - dunno if it will help me at this point, but if I ever get past the worst part of my SA and depression, I can see it being really useful. Very insightful, finally a self-help book on a scientific basis. As a scientific person, most other self-help books make me want to pull my hair out.

just looked this up and bought this. sounds interesting. i've read a few self-help books and i use their vagueness or lack of proof as an excuse to ignore what they say as i figure it won't work on me specifically or is not actually true. hopefully the scientific evidence here will convince me otherwise.

So how about regularly scheduling chats on Saturdays? Is that a good day for people? At about, like, 5 Pacific?

The url for the room is http://tinychat.com/depressiongaf and the password (so randoms can't get in) is

(Quote to read)

sure. that sounds cool (it's 1am in the uk but i'm always up then on weekends). can't guarantee i'll join in myself as i can be get really shy even when it's random people on the internet in different countries (which makes no sense to me) but i'm sure it'll be helpful for people.

Sounds like it. All the people with SA I know have pretty severe problems speaking in front of people, although obviously that's just my experience.
Personally, I tend to fidget and speak very rapidly. Luckily, I usually still get good marks on my presentations because the content is good.

As for the cashiers, for me that was simple habituation. At age 17, I had pretty severe anxiety interacting with cashiers, but since I faced the exact same situation hundreds of times in the following years, the anxiety pretty much stopped.

heh, the habit stuff is a good point. i was wondering why i'm perfectly fine interacting with cashiers but if i have to go out my way to ask a person in the shop if they have something or where a section is is i get loads of nerves and can't do it (because i never do it).

 

[Wilsongt]

That's because you're suppressing those feelings. It works for a little while but eventually you'll crash.

Well, it's also letting a want take the place of a need.

I want to have a nice relationship with someone and I want to be held.

But I need to focus on fixing myself from within and I need to focus on my well-being and health.

Then all of I sudden I feel like I need the relationship and affection.

 

[Prez]

So how about regularly scheduling chats on Saturdays? Is that a good day for people? At about, like, 5 Pacific?

The url for the room is http://tinychat.com/depressiongaf and the password (so randoms can't get in) is

(Quote to read)

Why is this only for members? I feel sorry for all the depressed lurkers

Well, it's also letting a want take the place of a need.

I want to have a nice relationship with someone and I want to be held.

But I need to focus on fixing myself from within and I need to focus on my well-being and health.

Then all of I sudden I feel like I need the relationship and affection.

Affection is a basic human need though. You can tell yourself you need something else but it's often not true. That's my experience at least.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

Why is this only for members? I feel sorry for all the depressed lurkers

You know, I never thought about the depressed lurkers...

I could make the chat open for everyone, but I don't want random people to come in and harass everyone. I suppose we could try it out and see how it goes.

The url for the room is http://tinychat.com/depressiongaf and the password (so lurkers can get in) is depressionsucks.

 

[Prez]

You know, I never thought about the depressed lurkers...

I could make the chat open for everyone, but I don't want random people to come in and harass everyone. I suppose we could try it out and see how it goes.

The url for the room is http://tinychat.com/depressiongaf and the password (so lurkers can get in) is depressionsucks.

Yeah, I could see that happening actually. I hope this will turn out alright, otherwise it's my fault

 

[RatskyWatsky]

Yeah, I could see that happening actually. I hope this will turn out alright, otherwise it's my fault

It's okay. I'll be there with my banhammer ready!

 

[scar tissue]

just looked this up and bought this. sounds interesting. i've read a few self-help books and i use their vagueness or lack of proof as an excuse to ignore what they say as i figure it won't work on me specifically or is not actually true. hopefully the scientific evidence here will convince me otherwise.

Same here. :lol

heh, the habit stuff is a good point. i was wondering why i'm perfectly fine interacting with cashiers but if i have to go out my way to ask a person in the shop if they have something or where a section is is i get loads of nerves and can't do it (because i never do it).

Yeah, I fucking hate this. I started imposing a time limit (if it takes me over 5 or 10 minutes (depending on the size of the shop), I'll ask someone. Sort-of worked since I managed to go through with it, but I'm still not comfortable with asking people.

You know, I never thought about the depressed lurkers...

I could make the chat open for everyone, but I don't want random people to come in and harass everyone. I suppose we could try it out and see how it goes.

I really don't think that's a good idea. Neogaf has a lot of enemies over at 4chan or the unnamed forum. I wouldn't feel comfortable showing my face on camera in combination with the stuff I post here in the depression thread if I knew anyone could be watching.
Still, it's your choice.

Just thought about how I'm 23 already and haven't done anything remarkable when a segment about the dutch girl who sailed around the world by herself at age 16 came up. She's 16 and did something amazing.
Not only have I not done anything remarkable, I haven't even done the normal stuff - such as being in a relationship or getting laid.
The worst thing is that I'm pretty sure I have the potential to do something cool, it's just buried underneath dozens of layers of anxiety and depression.
Time is running out. Better do something amazing or just call it quits and jump off a building. Fuck.

 

[Wilsongt]

Why is this only for members? I feel sorry for all the depressed lurkers



Affection is a basic human need though. You can tell yourself you need something else but it's often not true. That's my experience at least.

That's funny... All of my friends and people I know in relationships say that having a relationship is a want and is totally optional... That those needs should be met by yourself...

 

[RatskyWatsky]

I really don't think that's a good idea. Neogaf has a lot of enemies over at 4chan or the unnamed forum. I wouldn't feel comfortable showing my face on camera in combination with the stuff I post here in the depression thread if I knew anyone could be watching.

We generally don't video chat; it's just a text chat. But! if it doesn't work out, I can always just change the password. No harm no foul!

Just thought about how I'm 23 already and haven't done anything remarkable when a segment about the dutch girl who sailed around the world by herself at age 16 came up.
Not only have I not done anything remarkable, I haven't even done the normal stuff - such as being in a relationship or getting laid.
Time is running out. Better do something amazing or just call it quits and jump off a building. Fuck.

Yeah, same here. 22 and nothing to show for it. And I mean nothing. If it makes you feel any better, I'll jump off the building with you! Two people jumping off a building will reach twice as many news stations! We'll be famous!

 

[scar tissue]

We generally don't video chat; it's just a text chat. But! if it doesn't work out, I can always just change the password. No harm no foul!

oh ok, sounds good

Yeah, same here. 22 and nothing to show for it. And I mean nothing. If it makes you feel any better, I'll jump off the building with you! Two people jumping off a building will reach twice as many news stations! We'll be famous!

Maybe we could do an amazing double suicide? Fly to Australia/Africa and get eaten by sharks or crocodiles or lions, with live streaming?
Now that would be something!

Spoiler

semi-kidding only

 

[RatskyWatsky]

Maybe we could do an amazing double suicide? Fly to Australia/Africa and get eaten by sharks or crocodiles or lions, with live streaming?
Now that would be something!

Getting eaten by an animal would be way too scary/painful. We could jump out of a giant weather balloon (without parachutes) and go for the speed record!

 

[User 100115]

fuck i don't understand myself at all. i had a real bad day yesterday and was having lots of suicide related thoughts then listened to some music from one of my favourite upbeat films, had a cup of tea then went for a quick walk in the cold for some fresh air and felt okay again. it's dumb, i mean it was nice to feel fairly good for a bit and escape the worst feelings but i feel so pathetic veering from 'death might be the only thing for me as i see no future' to life is okay based on trivial things like that. i guess they're not trivial really but it'd be nice to have some fundamentals that i feel good about in my life to fall back on.



just looked this up and bought this. sounds interesting. i've read a few self-help books and i use their vagueness or lack of proof as an excuse to ignore what they say as i figure it won't work on me specifically or is not actually true. hopefully the scientific evidence here will convince me otherwise.



sure. that sounds cool (it's 1am in the uk but i'm always up then on weekends). can't guarantee i'll join in myself as i can be get really shy even when it's random people on the internet in different countries (which makes no sense to me) but i'm sure it'll be helpful for people.



heh, the habit stuff is a good point. i was wondering why i'm perfectly fine interacting with cashiers but if i have to go out my way to ask a person in the shop if they have something or where a section is is i get loads of nerves and can't do it (because i never do it).

I like to say that my various fandoms and TV shows have saved me 100x over from killing myself. It's not stupid or trivial if it works.

 

[scar tissue]

Getting eaten by an animal would be way too scary/painful.

Yeah, I'd pop some painkillers before. As for the scary part, on bad days, I'm scared all day due to my social anxiety. This has pretty much made me numb to actual scary stuff (darkness, dangerous animals, heights,...)

We could jump out of a giant weather balloon (without parachutes) and go for the speed record!

Hell, Red Bull might even sponsor us!

Spoiler

This is getting out of hand. Let's get back to more cheerful topics

 

[Sub_Level]

Can't eat anymore. Can't even drink water, most of the time. Everything makes me nauseous.

I had to force down some food tonight so my stomach would stop growling.

Sigh.

I heard on NPR last week that in the new DSM or whatever not having an appetite is a legit symptom for depression. A friend of mine had lost her father and she definitely lost considerable weight. Even months and a year afterwards, she had trouble eating.

 

[Xun]

Just thought about how I'm 23 already and haven't done anything remarkable when a segment about the dutch girl who sailed around the world by herself at age 16 came up. She's 16 and did something amazing.
Not only have I not done anything remarkable, I haven't even done the normal stuff - such as being in a relationship or getting laid.
The worst thing is that I'm pretty sure I have the potential to do something cool, it's just buried underneath dozens of layers of anxiety and depression.
Time is running out. Better do something amazing or just call it quits and jump off a building. Fuck.

Pretty much the same as me then, right down to the same age.

I just know that calling it quits isn't the right thing to do.

I was highly regarded as a kid in art, and I was constantly told I was a few years above everyone else. Since then things have just been going downhill, and my motivation has waned completely.

 

[Nlroh]

I was highly regarded as a kid in art, and I was constantly told I was a few years above everyone else. Since then things have just been going downhill, and my motivation has waned completely.

It's been exactly the same for me.

 

[ahoyhoy]

Just thought about how I'm 23 already and haven't done anything remarkable when a segment about the dutch girl who sailed around the world by herself at age 16 came up. She's 16 and did something amazing.
Not only have I not done anything remarkable, I haven't even done the normal stuff - such as being in a relationship or getting laid.
The worst thing is that I'm pretty sure I have the potential to do something cool, it's just buried underneath dozens of layers of anxiety and depression.
Time is running out. Better do something amazing or just call it quits and jump off a building. Fuck.

Those stories are always a sure-fire way to bring me down. I know they're supposed to astound or inspire the audience into imaging what human beings are capable of, even at such a young age, but it only ever serves to make me evaluate the slow crawl my life has been thus far, all the missteps I've taken, and all the opportunities I let pass me by. Usually it takes me a few days to pull myself out of an existential slump, but even then I know deep down that I'm not better than I was before.

 

[heidern]

If it was up to me I'd reset my life, but I just don't quite know how I'd go about that. Although it's a bit extreme, perhaps move abroad for a bit? I'm really not sure, and I'm certainly not sure how I'd go about it.

Take a TEFL course and teach english for a year in Japan or Spain or something.

It's been a few days here's the next class.
Lesson 5(60 seconds of meditation)
People have this image of meditation as doing nothing. You may think what's the point? Especially if you are depressed since depression can make you lose motivation and interest in doing things. It can make you feel weak and useless.

I decided to challenge perceptions a bit so this lesson is a touch more energetic. First I want you to get in touch with the little Bruce Lee inside all of you. I want you to start waving your hands around in front of you for 10 seconds, but try move them in slow motion and as smoothly as possible. You can wave them and twist them in various directions, in front of you, and out to the sides and above you if you have the space. Keep the wrists relaxed and try to make the movements smoother and smoother.

After around 10 seconds, find your heartbeat. Count 10 heartbeats progressively making them slower and smoother.

Then I want you get in touch with your inner wonder woman and stand in the wonder woman pose. Stand with your feet a little more than shoulder width apart. Put your hands on your hips with your elbows out wide by your sides. Stand tall, look forward and tilt your head slightly up like an arrogant person would.

Try to feel confident, this is a confident pose, and your body will send signals of confidence and power to your brain. Tune into those signals. Then start your breathing. Try to do the 3,6,3, in, out, pause. Make your breathing as smooth as possible and try to infuse some of that confidence into it. Take 3 or 4 breaths.

That's quite a lot there, but it only takes around 1 minute. Hope you like this lesson

 

[scar tissue]

Pretty much the same as me then, right down to the same age.

I just know that calling it quits isn't the right thing to do.

I was highly regarded as a kid in art, and I was constantly told I was a few years above everyone else. Since then things have just been going downhill, and my motivation has waned completely.

Save for the art thing, this is me. I showed lots of signs of high intelligence as a kid and got excellent grades in school with minimal time investment. I was probably suffering from ADD even back then, but school was pretty simple for me so I had no problems.

Now I'm basically fucked. Little motivation to study, can't memorize shit from my lectures, generally fed up with life. Despite studying very little, I still get average to good grades at university, I guess being smart really is the single thing that kind of keeps my life together - just barely.

 

[Steverulez]

Just thought about how I'm 23 already and haven't done anything remarkable when a segment about the dutch girl who sailed around the world by herself at age 16 came up. She's 16 and did something amazing.
Not only have I not done anything remarkable, I haven't even done the normal stuff - such as being in a relationship or getting laid.
The worst thing is that I'm pretty sure I have the potential to do something cool, it's just buried underneath dozens of layers of anxiety and depression.
Time is running out. Better do something amazing or just call it quits and jump off a building. Fuck.

Its odd how many people can relate to this. All I do is work, I don't even do much overtime. Just come home and do not a lot. I go to football matches sometimes but money has stopped that for now. Got an exam on Wednesday for my accounting qualification and quite frankly, I just can't be arsed. I have no motivation. If I fail a retake will cost £500+ and use 6 days holiday up or they could fire me, if I pass I get a big pay rise, but I just can't force myself to revise or really care either way.

Got a phonecall appointment with the doctor tomorrow, tell her how i've been feeling see what she says. Im not expecting much use out of it though.

 

[Empty]

i'm 21 and if you asked me to list my greatest achievement in life so far i wouldn't be able to say anything.

That's quite a lot there, but it only takes around 1 minute. Hope you like this lesson

i did. i'm glad you haven't stopped doing them.

 

[neojubei]

So ticked off right now. Took six Prozac pills. And to think today I was feeling a bit better.

 

[Wilsongt]

So ticked off right now. Took six Prozac pills. And to think today I was feeling a bit better.

Augh. Don't let DM get you down. Just ignore him.

 

[Uchip]

Getting eaten by an animal would be way too scary/painful.

you could always ask someone fuck up on bath salts to do it

 

[Wilsongt]

you could always ask someone fuck up on bath salts to do it

o.o

if I were to die, I'd want to do it in my sleep... Just will my body to shut down on its own and just fade away...

 

[neojubei]

Augh. Don't let DM get you down. Just ignore him.

I've been rejected and put down my whole life by gay guys I so sick of it. Fuck this world.

o.o

if I were to die, I'd want to do it in my sleep... Just will my body to shut down on its own and just fade away...

I'm feeling so fucked up right now. I would shoot myself in the head if I had a gun.

 

[Ashes]

Well, here's to hoping you don't.

I have a question. How do you think you would feel if you were in a relationship?
Right now, if you were in a relationship. Would you merely feel better? or would you feel that you have triumphed over depression?

 

[Uchip]

o.o

if I were to die, I'd want to do it in my sleep... Just will my body to shut down on its own and just fade away...

I disagree, I go to sleep each night feeling like my brain is just going to have an anneurism.
dying in your sleep would not be better, people just make less noise so it seems "peaceful"

 

[Sub_Level]

I have a question. How do you think you would feel if you were in a relationship?
Right now, if you were in a relationship. Would you merely feel better? or would you feel that you have triumphed over depression?

I dated a girl for a couple months when my depression was still fairly bad. Things went awry due to depression. Better to work on oneself first, at least to the point of stability.

 

[scar tissue]

I have a question. How do you think you would feel if you were in a relationship?
Right now, if you were in a relationship. Would you merely feel better? or would you feel that you have triumphed over depression?

I'd certainly be feeling like I triumphed over a huge part of my social anxiety, not sure about the depression. My depression isn't really what's holding me back with the chicks, I think.

For now, I'd be content with getting laid. A relationship would probably be too stressful at this point, unless she also had SA/depression.
Maybe I should have a look at some self-help groups again, see if I can meet some girls there. Although from my experience, they either have a boyfriend or are fucked up to a point where they don't care about sex/relationships anymore.

 

[neojubei]

Well, here's to hoping you don't.

I have a question. How do you think you would feel if you were in a relationship?
Right now, if you were in a relationship. Would you merely feel better? or would you feel that you have triumphed over depression?

I never been in a relationship so I have no idea. I'm a loser a failure so how can I even meet anyone? If there is a god I hope he lets me die in my sleep tonight. Too late to call my therapist and the Prozac isn't working. If I take 10 more would it help any?

 

[Collete]

So how about regularly scheduling chats on Saturdays? Is that a good day for people? At about, like, 5 Pacific?

The url for the room is http://tinychat.com/depressiongaf and the password (so randoms can't get in) is

(Quote to read)

No one is in there, it's 2 hours past =(

I never been in a relationship so I have no idea. I'm a loser a failure so how can I even meet anyone? If there is a god I hope he lets me die in my sleep tonight. Too late to call my therapist and the Prozac isn't working. If I take 10 more would it help any?

If it's any condolences I also really feel that if there is really one that he would kill me right now. I wish that nearly everyday of my life.
And taking 10 more wouldn't help. We still need you, and I sure would not be happy if I heard you actually suceeded offing yourself.
I still dont' have my pc and can't even be on skype so I can't talk regularly but just don't do anything stupid without PM/IM/talking to someone.

 

[Wilsongt]

No one is in there, it's 2 hours past =(



If it's any condolences I really feel that if there is really one that he would kill me right now. I wish that nearly everyday of my life.
And taking 10 more wouldn't help. We still need you, and I sure would not be happy if I heard you actually suceeded offing yourself.
I still dont' have my pc and can't even be on skype so I can't talk regularly but just don't do anything stupid without PM/IM/talking to someone.

It's Sunday... =/

 

[Collete]

It's Sunday... =/

...Wait. Really?

....Well damn. I really am not in touch with anything as of late.

 

[Uchip]

If it's any condolences I really feel that if there is really one that he would kill me right now. I wish that nearly everyday of my life.

see previous post

 

[Ashes]

I'm sincerely sorry to hear that neojubei.

Rejection is hard to take. Negative reinforcement makes it all the harder to take. Devaluing your self isn't going to improve your chances in the mating game. I don't think so anyway. The more you dig, the harder it will be to climb out of. If that makes any sense. Unless, you want to dig? then it's punishment? God, it's all so complicated.

I'm presuming you were the one to step up to the plate and ask right? that's something.

 

[Collete]

see previous post

? I meant I also wished that. I guess I did a typo.

 

[neojubei]

I deleted my okcupid account. It's not like anyone even message me so who cares right? Looking at myself in the mirror is making me hate myself even more. Group therapy helps but then real life fucks it up. When you open up people tear you down. If I cut my wrists now I bet I would survive God wants me to suffer more in this world. Why am I gay when so many gay people tear me down.

 

[Ashes]

They say suffering has a lesson in it. I'm not sure what that is though. Pain?

I got another question for everyone. If you had a red button, that meant you could switch off 'depression mode', would you press it?