Devolution
Member
No jacket or vest will be going over the shirt/tie? I'm partial to the grey shirt with the grey/white tie.
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LadyGAF Advises ManGAF
- Thread starter Mineshaft_Gap
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NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I have a new wool jacket I haven't worn yet that I'll probably wear. It was snowing this morning, so it's the perfect time for it. If it's not that cold, then I might wear a lighter field jacket that I wear for work... but it has a tendency to get dirty at work, so I'd have to wash it beforehand.
No suit jacket or blazer and I don't wear vests. I do have tie bars though, a black one and brushed silver one.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
I'm broke, she ain't getting shit, lol.
Actually, she a friend from college who graduated lives a long ways from the school or where I would be. I'm pretty sure she had a thing for me once ("hindsight is 20/20", whatever, etc...though I think my friends seriously advised me to not make it more than a friendship with her specifically).
So the text kinda caught me out of the blue.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
She just broke up and now she's horny.
Godspeed, Felix. Godspeed.
Are you sure she didn't text you by accident? Maybe she just wants to screw with your head.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Probably.
No, she didn't, we've sorta been having conversations for text recently, nothing major but she definitely sent them to me purposefully.
Plus it's not like we'd be able to do anything, I probably wont get a chance to see her IRL till like next October or something like that, so meh.
ThoughtsOfSpeaking
Banned
Here is a dilemma for you ladies. You meet a guy, he is great guy in every way and you two end up having a relationship. You are together for a few years,but every time you mention moving in together, he visibly stiffens up. Its not like he has some secret life as he stays round at yours 95% of the time, but sometimes he likes to withdraw into his own space. You trust him and don't believe he is cheating or doing anything when he is at home except for chilling out without you. Do you just accept thats how he is and that living together will probably never happen, or do you force the issue? This part hypothetical, part a request of advice.
shanshan310
Member
I would probably be a bit upset that he didn't want to live with me, especially if we'd been dating several years. If he doesn't ever want to live together I would assume that he probably does not see a future for us. Could be a deal breaker in the long run. I'm someone who needs space as well, but I think that this doesn't need to stop t1wo people from living together. You can find space at other ends of the house, while she is at work, outside somewhere.
I guess advice would depend on your role in the situation.
The second and third one and the last one. Different colours and patterned with plain always works best imo.
I guess advice would depend on your role in the situation.
The second and third one and the last one. Different colours and patterned with plain always works best imo.
*nods*
I need a ton of space and can get crowded easily, but I wouldn't think a relationship has in long term potential if he never wanted to move in together. But that's just me. I think everyone would feel differently in such a situation.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Depends how you handle it really. I don't think it's unusual to not want to be around them (or hear about them) from your significant other, but the way you extract/distance yourself from such meetings is important.
voodoojohn
Banned
Verbal Intercourse
Banned
18/19 year old coworkers in senior year of high school. Me, 21. Is this cool? Or am I going to be THAT guy?
There's one girl in particular I find cute (and I say that with regards to her personality as well), amongst about three girls I find physically attractive. I talk with all of them, bitch about work, get to know them, and they smile a lot and laugh at my dumb jokes.
I'd consider pursuing things with the cute girl.
There's this nagging doubt in the back of my head though, like what if I'm misreading things even though it seems so obvious. One of the girls, who I worked with previous summers, would confide in me and bust on a coworker we shared 2 years older than myself. He had, unsuccessfully, tried to get food with her a few times. His failed creepy advances are what come to mind in periods of self-doubt. I don't want to be that dude.
There's one girl in particular I find cute (and I say that with regards to her personality as well), amongst about three girls I find physically attractive. I talk with all of them, bitch about work, get to know them, and they smile a lot and laugh at my dumb jokes.
I'd consider pursuing things with the cute girl.
There's this nagging doubt in the back of my head though, like what if I'm misreading things even though it seems so obvious. One of the girls, who I worked with previous summers, would confide in me and bust on a coworker we shared 2 years older than myself. He had, unsuccessfully, tried to get food with her a few times. His failed creepy advances are what come to mind in periods of self-doubt. I don't want to be that dude.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Ok, so wearing jeans and a wool jacket won't make me look like a douchebag or anything, right?
Cause... I don't wanna look like a try-hard. I need a girl's opinion on this.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
I am a dude but I dont think there is anything wrong at all with a 18/19 year old dating a 21 year old.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
21 and 18/19 is okay in my book.
Well, as long as they aren't in high school and have a curfew.
triplestation
Member
how 2 get a girlfriend???
shanshan310
Member
Probably depends on the woman, and the context
Given the right situation it can be pretty sexy.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
I prefer the first, but the next two are good too.
Then... Don't act like he did? Ask it better?
Only some guys.
Did you flat out ask her out? If not, you need to ask her out.
Yeah, you never actually made a move. You need to Next chance you get, she probably is open to the idea but you're running out of time.
It is that easy. Just do it, man.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Girls, question: What's your stance on smell? Do you prefer men use a little bit of cologne/body spray, their own natural musk, or do you prefer they just smell like nothing (except cleanliness)?
BladeWorker
Member
Didn't we just go over this like, one page ago?
shanshan310
Member
Depends on the man. My man smells fantastic, but some guys just don't have nice BO. That said, cologne always smells nice.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
It doesn't really matter matey.
You got two choices;
you can go on like this trying to make hints, and continue like this. Maybe she will take initiative, if you won't do it (all women are different)
or
You could tell her that you really like her? Why not. Honestly mate, why not. The worst that could happen? She will laugh in your face, and say "ewww" and wont be friends with you anymore?
Well, if that is the case, and were she to do just that, you wouldn't want her as a friend anyway. So you see - Either way you are doing yourself a big service by getting it out there.
a) You get it off your chests. Once you kick the ball, it's her move. If she doesn't respond, oh well, weren't meant to happen. If it does? Yay!
b)Secondly, you find out her value and something about her true character.
Remember - It's not an even friendship if your secretly in love with her / have feelings for her. It's not fair for you, and it's not fair for her.
It doesn't have to be this scary thing. If you were told by a girl that she had feelings for you, how would you react? Would you spit her in the face, call her a weak minded whore and never talk to her again?
I've made moves on many female friends, and while it hurt in the moment I am glad I did it. I simply think that no growth can happen by running away or not confronting.
Lastly,
I don't know your girl, but don't you think she will be more interested in a person who dare let his feelings be known to her, instead of just hoping that he can be passive, and play it safe?
Perhaps it is not fair that it is often the man who has to put himself out there, but a lot of things aren't fair, and in the grand scheme of things, remember you hold the power.
You can't lose. Only way you can lose if you freeze and let your fear let you not do anything. She is going to be swept away by some dude who is going to fuck her senseless in a laundry mat, which is good for her, but not for you - Because you wouldn't have learned anything, wouldn't have grown and emotionally you would still be stuck.
You can invite her home. You can sit and talk to her, and see if there is chemistry. You could go to a festival, a museum, invite her to your grand parents - just spend time with her alone, hit it off, and once you are comfortable and enjoying yourself this shit happens by itself. Just try not to think. Don't be afraid to lose a friend or make it awkward. It really doesn't matter. You don't have a patent on anyone or anything.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Ladies, question:
If there is a tall and handsome man standing next to a not-so-tall-and-handsome man, how should the latter person try to stand out?
If there is a tall and handsome man standing next to a not-so-tall-and-handsome man, how should the latter person try to stand out?
twilitesparklemotion
Member
You could kill the tall and handsome man.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
It's something I've considered for a long time.
3 women eyefucked the bastard last night while I was getting nothing.
Maybe one of you ladies has advice or been in a similar situation and can help me out.
I met a girl for a first date and it went really, really well. Talked for four hours, flirted, and shared a couple beers. Kissed her at her car at the end and about a hour later she texted me saying she had a great time.
We ended up meeting up the next day since neither of us worked and she'd be going out of town for a bit. Fast forward a couple hours and we had sex at her place. I'm not good at knowing what to say I'm certain situations so we didn't really talk about it or what was next but I stayed for about an hour after and cuddled, I felt like she was happy.
The next couple days I texted her maybe 2 times but she wasn't acting flirty or anything. She comes back to town Sunday and she hasn't texted me back from a text I sent yesterday wishing her a safe flight.
Should I a) leave her alone completely alone and let her contact me if she wants to b) text her on Sunday night asking how she is or c) call her and ask her out Monday night. I'm feeling really bummed right now, but I may be over thinking it and she's just a busy or something.
I met a girl for a first date and it went really, really well. Talked for four hours, flirted, and shared a couple beers. Kissed her at her car at the end and about a hour later she texted me saying she had a great time.
We ended up meeting up the next day since neither of us worked and she'd be going out of town for a bit. Fast forward a couple hours and we had sex at her place. I'm not good at knowing what to say I'm certain situations so we didn't really talk about it or what was next but I stayed for about an hour after and cuddled, I felt like she was happy.
The next couple days I texted her maybe 2 times but she wasn't acting flirty or anything. She comes back to town Sunday and she hasn't texted me back from a text I sent yesterday wishing her a safe flight.
Should I a) leave her alone completely alone and let her contact me if she wants to b) text her on Sunday night asking how she is or c) call her and ask her out Monday night. I'm feeling really bummed right now, but I may be over thinking it and she's just a busy or something.
Hi LadyGaf,
Need some insight here. EX issues... I've been with my girlfriend for about 6 months now.
Earlier on, there was a phone call from her ex around 6am. Her response to this was disdain, rolled eyes, and she was annoyed. I saw the guys name on the phone, didn't say anything about it. And she told me that it was her ex.. in the midst of her being so annoyed at the call. "Why is he calling me..?" to herself.
Now, she is moving into an apartment. She mentioned that it would be directly across the street from her ex. With the usual disdain, rolled eyes, and annoyment.
This morning I went to play a movie on netflix, her Gchat window was open with her talking to the same Ex, the message from her was saying that she is probably going to be moving across from him. His response, was just "really" and thats all there was.
I'm a little uncomfortable with this. I don't think its my ego so much, as it is just a bit of confusion over why she on one hand guffaws and cringes when he contacted her, at the notion of living across the street from him, and then the total 180 of contacting him, and talking about it.
It seems like its unsettled. I feel like I need to nip this in the bud, and talk to her about it. But I can't help but feel like my reaction might be, "wrong." I just can't imagine that she would feel great if this was happening to her.
We have never fully discussed the details of her ex. I think its a good time to go over it. Right now shes moving her stuff. I was going to wait until its all settled to go over it.
I'm not tripping right? This is weird.
Need some insight here. EX issues... I've been with my girlfriend for about 6 months now.
Earlier on, there was a phone call from her ex around 6am. Her response to this was disdain, rolled eyes, and she was annoyed. I saw the guys name on the phone, didn't say anything about it. And she told me that it was her ex.. in the midst of her being so annoyed at the call. "Why is he calling me..?" to herself.
Now, she is moving into an apartment. She mentioned that it would be directly across the street from her ex. With the usual disdain, rolled eyes, and annoyment.
This morning I went to play a movie on netflix, her Gchat window was open with her talking to the same Ex, the message from her was saying that she is probably going to be moving across from him. His response, was just "really" and thats all there was.
I'm a little uncomfortable with this. I don't think its my ego so much, as it is just a bit of confusion over why she on one hand guffaws and cringes when he contacted her, at the notion of living across the street from him, and then the total 180 of contacting him, and talking about it.
It seems like its unsettled. I feel like I need to nip this in the bud, and talk to her about it. But I can't help but feel like my reaction might be, "wrong." I just can't imagine that she would feel great if this was happening to her.
We have never fully discussed the details of her ex. I think its a good time to go over it. Right now shes moving her stuff. I was going to wait until its all settled to go over it.
I'm not tripping right? This is weird.
BladeWorker
Member
If I'm her friend, I'm telling her that keeping her ex in the picture, even if it's the tiny superimposed box in the corner of the TV while you're still watching the main show on the big screen, is a dumb idea and detracts from the main event. It might even push you away.
But I'm not advising her, I'm advising you - and you can't say any of that to her without sounding like a jealous freak.
It is weird, but there's little that you can do about it. There's something that isn't straight about the ex situation in her head and she's gotta work it out.
I'm going from the assumption that you like this girl, want to be with this girl, but are feeling a little put off by this inconsistent ex contact/reaction.
Are you comfortable (or unsure) about where you stand with this girl? I'd straighten that out first, if you haven't already. Having a detailed exes conversation is valuable for some couples - but rehashing details should be secondary to knowing where you stand with each other. Coming from a point of trust and confidence, you're in a better position to ask her what it is about the situation that is getting under her skin - and, what she expects/wants you to do as a result. Knowing this, you can process and articulate that you're getting confused by some of what you've seen.
It could be an attention grab to try to get you to be more affectionate as a result of being jealous of her thinking about this guy. It could be that there's something unresolved from the breakup that she needs closure on. It could be that this guy is an addiction that she's trying to kick. It could be that she's falling for you, but is scared and turning back to something more comfortable. I can't say - but, knowing where you stand will help narrow down what situation is going on, moreso than a "so what's the deal with this dude?" conversation.
Eltacoman said:
My money's on she's freaking out thinking that she slept with you too soon and rushed things. And, it was the New Year rush and her mind is occupied elsewhere.
If you've given it some time, you could do one of two things - call or email, taking the pressure off. Mention that you had a great time, but you're cool to take your foot off the gas pedal, and would like to check out that movie/exhibit/event/concert that you talked about at your first/second date. If she's not interested, you understand and wish her well.
If she doesn't respond to that, don't contact her again. You gave it a fair shot.
Rocket Scientist
Member
Not really looking for advice as I'm sure the advice will be to not do it, but I'm preparing a grand romantic gesture a la a crown of sonnets to persuade my ex to give us another chance. It's strange how we do things we know we shouldn't do.
Thanks for the reply. I made a mistake, the place she is living is NOT across the street from the ex. That was an option, but thats not the place shes moving. So it was a little less of a sting, but the initial weirdness over the 180 actions remained.
I just told her I felt confused about her projected attitude towards him, and her starting communication up. Turns out, according to her; she works with the guy. they aren't enemies, but they aren't friends. She figured she should just give him a heads up. I've been down the EX road already, and I am seeing some familiar signage though.
I love the girl, she loves me. I'm not unsure that, thats where I stand. I'm her moon and stars, as she reminds me. Its been the best relationship of my entire life, and this is the one hiccup that has happened. I trust her, but just comparing the two sides of her emotions with the ex, It put me off, it unsettled me, and I had to be honest about the way I was reading the situation. Affection is there, she would never need to make me jealous. I think there are unresolved EX issues. I mean, im sure thats clear just by the explanation of her actions.
And yea, going down this seemingly familiar road, I know theres nothing i can do to change another person. But I did ask her to let me know what the situation is, that way I can act rationally and have peace in my own mind.
I didn't want to bring it up, as it does tarnish trust a bit I'd say. Or at least pings it. So that was most of the dilemma. Is it something to even mention? But I would be lying to myself if I pretended that it didn't bother me, I wouldn't be me. And thats what I enjoy so much about being with her. I think the way i came off was just clarification, before reaction. I got those answers, but again, they are hauntingly familiar, but that might be me looking to deeply into them.
BladeWorker
Member
They work together? That's a yikes.
Well, in your shoes I'd be weirded out too. I mean, you're head over heels for each other, so what's the deal with the back-and-forth outside business hours? Something's hinky, and good on you for bringing it up so you can restore sanity and continue falling head-over-heels.
Devolution
Member
I assume you mean hair rollers? If I wanted to make my hair wavy I'd need to do that since my hair just falls right out of a curl if it's only done with a heat iron.
shanshan310
Member
woah. Never, but I really wanna try now. I think I might even have some, no idea why, but hey!
My hair is pretty wavy anyway, but I do own a curling iron.
Yeah, that's what I meant. Just curious how often women actually use them. How often do they have to stay in your hair?
Also another question for the ladies here:
You get two choices, which do you take?
1. Chance to go to the salon and get pampered by getting your hair, nails etc. done anyway you like.
2. Get a $200 shopping spree at the store of your choice.
Vermillion
Banned
...You don't think she's attractive.
BladeWorker
Member
Salon. Hair+Nails+Makeup at a marquee salon - where you'd be pampered - costs more than $200.
I have never worn those, but some people do it to get their hair all wavy. I guess you can probably do the same thing with a large curling iron?
Zoe
Member
I rarely use them (and I use pseudo-rags rather than rollers), but when I do I leave it in overnight. The curls will last all day if I don't try to tame them down.
It always ends up going into bad territory whatever I say though. I need some sort of neutral response.
BladeWorker
Member
As you know, it's a loaded question. You must first know why the question is being asked, before you back away slowly with leaving a pint of cherry garcia behind.
As much as I want to treat my hair well, I gotta go with the shopping spree. I need more clothes ;A;
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