ClassyPenguin
Banned
Not really. If you go to a competent psychiatrist they'll ask you about how comfortable you are with taking medication before they prescribe anything.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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Not really. If you go to a competent psychiatrist they'll ask you about how comfortable you are with taking medication before they prescribe anything.
Congrats! That's how I felt when I finally told my doctor.
I think it definitely has the potential to help in my case atleast, but I feel like there's much more I have to get off my chest, it doesn't feel fair that I spent a lot of that hour just ragging on my unofficially ex-gf. Looking forward to my next appointment in two weeks just because of that.
Collete
Member
Today and yesterday, I actually did a damn effort to look for a psychologist that didn't freaking over pay 300$ a session.
I only found one that apparently had a sliding scale and POSSIBLY accept my insurance that will expire in a few months. Only thing is she's on maternity leave and didn't really talk to me much about costs.
Everyone else was charging ridiculous prices and just unbelievable.
Not doing good with relationships at the moment...
Started college awhile back...
*sigh* It just all feels pointless in the end.
I only found one that apparently had a sliding scale and POSSIBLY accept my insurance that will expire in a few months. Only thing is she's on maternity leave and didn't really talk to me much about costs.
Everyone else was charging ridiculous prices and just unbelievable.
Not doing good with relationships at the moment...
Started college awhile back...
*sigh* It just all feels pointless in the end.
Thanks!
It's good to have something to look forward to.
Felt similar earlier today after I got back from the laundromat. Exhausted and tired from doing basically nothing...
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Collete
Member
Out of curiosity, there's this ad on GAF (usually when I come to this thread) about some depression center for women that supposedly helps women. I won't lie, I clicked it and it looks really nice and might actually make a difference.
What are y'all thoughts on a place like that? Would people actually be helped in short and long term?
If no one has seen the ad, don't bother with my post.
I know in hell I wouldn't be able to afford something like that though
If no one has seen the ad, don't bother with my post.
I'm glad you're thinking about seeing a pro. I wish it were easier.
The private treatment centers (outside of, say, some Scientology center or whatever) basically provide the best care you can get. There's all sorts of specialized centers - for women, for personality disorders, various professions, etc. - I've looked at one with a program for medical professionals.
The issue is obviously cost. I looked at another center that MAY accept my (excellent) insurance, but even then, it's like staying at a five-star resort (only with less drinking). Most places have a little note on their ads saying "The Bagels' Center does not accept private insurance." So you're getting private nursing, individualized care, physicians on call for a small number of patients 24/7, integrated diet and exercise stuff, anything you can think of. But it's like staying at a resort with your own butler, valet, personal trainer...If you can afford it, it's going to be amazing.
We can obviously talk about individual programs - I've seen two different ads here for women's treatment programs (why is that? My strong feminine side?) and neither one accepted private insurance. Some centers do, though. Being young and female probably helps a bit, just not as much as being rich and famous. We might have better luck looking in to more research studies for you. That's one way to get affordable residential treatment (the NIH has an amazing inpatient psychiatric research center).
The only upside is that everyone has the same medications. You don't need to go to a residential center to get on a medication that may make a huge difference. You'll get a lot MORE talk therapy if you're staying at a hospital, but it's probably not going to scale really well with the cost. Getting ANY kind of talk therapy, even just a bit, will get you a big chunk of the potential benefit. Mind Over Mood is a great introduction to CBT (it's the book they give you here if you end up in the hospital, and this is a really, really good center), and it's only $17, not $17,000.
Yeah I think a lot of us do. I feel lonely a lot, especially at night just like someone said on the page before here.
What do you mean the value of your life?
This x 1000. I feel a slight spring in my step after work, but as soon as I get home, I start talking to myself out loud because who the fuck cares anymore. It depresses me that I have to start doing the Meetup thing just to find people to hang out with.
Pretty much looking at what I've done and how others see me. It never gets really extreme but it's still a pretty shitty way to feel.
Yeah, talking to myself out loud is common with this.
Been about two years since I've spoken about anxiety and depression on the internet, but whatever. So far what the doc ordered has been working which is Zoloft 100mg (which I never take) Saphris 10mg and about 10-20mg of Ativan a day, oh and 10mg of Ambien + 2mg of Klonopin to sleep. So far it's been pretty shitty with antipsychotics, was on Zyprexa for a while and all that accomplished was it made me want to kill all my neighbors and their cats, no really I was a fucking maniac on Zyprexa. Got me committed again, 8th time, worst part is I've been threatened by the psychiatrist and court that if I go off my meds at any time it's a automatic state psych visit. All because of Zyprexa madness and the even worse withdrawls. Put it this way, it got so bad I could drink a bottle of Jack Daniels with 8mg of Ativan (near OD) and still be livid with anger and hatred for everything.
Saphris doesn't seem so bad, yet, but it's always really a waiting game with antipsychotics to judge the long term mental scars they'll leave. But so far it's not as bad, I can at least have a good day now. That near instantaneous snap reflex of pure psychotic rage at the slightest annoyance (but while I'm shaking a hand with a smile on my face) seems to be gone for now, which is good. Saphris tastes like shit though, and leaves your tongue and mouth numb for about an hour, plus it has the food cravings that Seroquel gave me. Other than that all I take is benzo's and Ambien, which I couldn't live without, off those I'm a complete miserable prick. Even my conservative shrink agrees my mood and disposition is better on benzo's that he prescribes them as needed, aka all day long. Depression is dealt with pretty well with benzo's, every six months or so I switch to 4mg of Xanax or 3mg of Klonopin and that helps with tolerance overall.
Anyway, I could go on with story after story, but after half my life in therapy and in and out of in-patient units I'm tired of telling sad stories. But yeah, I've been through all the cycles of anxiety, depression, psychosis and even created a few in-between of my own along the way. Just keep hanging in there and hopefully eventually you'll find a system that works for you.
Saphris doesn't seem so bad, yet, but it's always really a waiting game with antipsychotics to judge the long term mental scars they'll leave. But so far it's not as bad, I can at least have a good day now. That near instantaneous snap reflex of pure psychotic rage at the slightest annoyance (but while I'm shaking a hand with a smile on my face) seems to be gone for now, which is good. Saphris tastes like shit though, and leaves your tongue and mouth numb for about an hour, plus it has the food cravings that Seroquel gave me. Other than that all I take is benzo's and Ambien, which I couldn't live without, off those I'm a complete miserable prick. Even my conservative shrink agrees my mood and disposition is better on benzo's that he prescribes them as needed, aka all day long. Depression is dealt with pretty well with benzo's, every six months or so I switch to 4mg of Xanax or 3mg of Klonopin and that helps with tolerance overall.
Anyway, I could go on with story after story, but after half my life in therapy and in and out of in-patient units I'm tired of telling sad stories. But yeah, I've been through all the cycles of anxiety, depression, psychosis and even created a few in-between of my own along the way. Just keep hanging in there and hopefully eventually you'll find a system that works for you.
la flama blanca
Banned
Everyday I spend my nights with a ton of motivation to change and yet I haven't actually actively followed through. This is what is driving me crazy.
Prax
Member
I think that's true for a lot of people.
Though I think.. sometimes.. I'm actually happiest alone. >__> I talked a bit about that when I was in the chat, so some of you may know. But I'm a bit of a recluse AND I LOVE IT (maybe because I feel like I can get a lot of stuff done without distractions). But I probably love it too much. It's to the detriment of developing social skills and tolerance for people (despite the fact in my general outlook is that humanity and the universe in general is awesome).
I think my depression and anxiety most happens when my lack of skill (and low tolerance for social stimulus) interacts with actually having to "deal" with people (school, work, even just interacting with friends). I am still trying to find the balance between my love of alone-time with the necessity of interacting with people that I have little interest in interacting with.
Wow, you have a really intense experience with the anger and psychosis. I'm glad that you're doing better than before! Seems like you have to balance a lot of meds in your life. It's kind of impressive to even be able to juggle all of that. I'm not even good with keeping up with a daily vitamin.
Yeah. I just end up getting distracted and my follow-through in general is terrible. I've only been able to break out of my art block, but there are plenty of other real-life responsibilities or tasks I have yet to follow-through on. >_>
Good to know that I'm not the only who does this.
The first line of his post says he's going through a breakup, so I'd assume so
Prax
Member
Yeah mangs. I DID!
It only took 4 more hours than I expected. :I
And even though I know I have a certain level of skill in an objective sense.. I am kind of eternally dissatisfied and feelings of failureness come with that. Especially when it comes to follow-through with art projects and commitments and the like.
As an example, when feelings of unfulfilled expectations come up, I have caught myself whispering when I glance at my reflection while in the washroom sweet nothings of "I hate you" at times (like a real whisper as if it needed to be vocalized and made concrete).. And obviously, that's alarming in a way. I've since tried to switch to "I love you" when the urge comes up just to counter it. It kinda works? Better than the alternative, anyway!
It only took 4 more hours than I expected. :I
OH BOY HE IS SO FAB~
And even though I know I have a certain level of skill in an objective sense.. I am kind of eternally dissatisfied and feelings of failureness come with that. Especially when it comes to follow-through with art projects and commitments and the like.
As an example, when feelings of unfulfilled expectations come up, I have caught myself whispering when I glance at my reflection while in the washroom sweet nothings of "I hate you" at times (like a real whisper as if it needed to be vocalized and made concrete).. And obviously, that's alarming in a way. I've since tried to switch to "I love you" when the urge comes up just to counter it. It kinda works? Better than the alternative, anyway!
I really share that sentiment. I like to have time by myself, but I know it makes me worse. Interacting with people really peps me up. The chats and skype are great because, no matter how depressed I am going in, I almost always feel a bit better by the time I sign off.
Yet even knowing that, I still try to find more time to be alone. There's sort of this little energy barrier to interacting with people (especially going out and doing it - and sorry for my chemistry major way of thinking). It takes nothing to sit at home in my office, but I stay in this very low mood state. Whereas if I can get that little push and get myself out the door, I'll settle in to a higher mood state that'll persist for a while.
Why is it so hard to do some things, even when you KNOW they'll make you feel better (exercise, eat better, get out of the house, not procrastinate...)?
Us Jews are weird neurotic folks who are often depressed and have phantom back pains. I think it is in our DNA to complain about stuff, though. I haven't really met any other Jews since there aren't any in my area and I wasn't really raised in the faith at all, but I know Jews complain a lot about everything and all of us complain about back problems.
GraveRobberX
Platinum Trophy: Learned to Shit While Upright Again.
Oh Sorry (late reply and all), I wasn't trying to be one of those Drama Queens who uses the word Depression lightly
I invested a lot into my Denver Broncos this year, NFL-GAF can attest to this
(Hell I haven't posted that much in the thread after that week)
I have gone through some huge rough patches, some I have spoken here on GAF
I just try to mask it as much as possible
I have been physically and emotionally abused by my father since a young age (6-14 years old), a devout Muslim, who thought going strict religion was his salvation to achieving greatness in this and the after-life, wash away his sins, but forced his family to follow and any push to move away, would be dealt with force
I was sexually abused by a Masjid Fellowship-er (I think that the word, he's part of the system)
Was always fat through out 32 year life (I did fix myself up for a few years in the teenage years, which helped my Psyche, so that didn't help off-balance my Depression
I go through waves of it, sometimes, I sleep for days, not seeking light, just want to close my eyes and never awake
Sometimes I feel like I have overcome it and take charge of the situation, but it always comes back, and with a vengeance
I'm a Illegal immigrants on top of that, so that burdens me from getting any help, medication wise (Insurance for me is an absurd amount, I do mean absurd)
I feel like I'm Bi-Polar, I go up and down real quickly, things is I just keep swallowing and just ballooning it inside me
Seriously I try to medicate myself by keeping myself busy, earning Trophies, a virtual useless icon that has no merit to most, really cheers me up (Pavlovian Syndrome anyone? lol)
Earning them really brightens me up for some reason, the PING! noise alone makes me get excited
Sometimes my Trophy Whoring really does overtake my life, to keep me from going to Woe is Me mode, but rather than help fight it, it contributes and that is when I get overwhelmed and go full down
I just give up for a few days, just want to sleep, darkness to surround me, cool climate, just away from everything
Then there are times I go to family gatherings, where I get on such a high from my relatives and social interacting, that when it's time to leave, I get hit with such a huge crash of anti-socialness I'll have in my own house which then offsets to Depression
(I hope that sounds right, in my mind it does)
I feel like I'm in such a unique/weird position, that everything I do right, is miniscule, every thing I do wrong is the worst tragedy I have ever done to myself or some else
Well, how do you know how other people see you? A lot of times when people are down they don't really see how much they mean to the people around them.
Same here. If only I could have that mindset during the day. When I wake up it feels like a different person was making all those plans. And then I just do nothing again.
User 100115
Banned
Do it first thing tomorrow morning. I have a pretty weird 'calling people' social phobia, and if I resign myself to do it FIRST thing when I wake up, the rest of the day only gets better from there.
The chick said to call her on Monday to schedule an interview for this weekend. How do I justify waiting until Friday to call? Man, I'm getting nervous just thinking about it.
User 100115
Banned
Just say you had some family trouble. Usually works.
Hey, guys. I'm new here. I have suffered from depression for more then a decade. I'm just now understanding and coming to terms with it. For many of those years I had no medication, doctor, nor any therapy. It has been a long hard struggle seemingly never ending.
However, I feel like I have become better in recent years and I feel hopeful. Everyday is a battle but now it feels like a battle that I can finally win. I wish everyone in this thread good luck. If anyone needs someone to talk to PM me at anytime.
However, I feel like I have become better in recent years and I feel hopeful. Everyday is a battle but now it feels like a battle that I can finally win. I wish everyone in this thread good luck. If anyone needs someone to talk to PM me at anytime.
GillianSeed79
Member
I'm having one of those I want to blow my brains out days. For the last seven days I've been covering a murder trial in town. I've been working 12 hours a day every fucking day for the last eight days. My esteemed competition, who I actually like and who actually worked for us several years ago, now works for a competing news agency. He doesn't have to cover the trial because our competition doesn't think it's news worthy because the victim was an illegal immigrant who got his head blown off and the shooter wasn't from the area.
I think I'm in the wrong profession. My competition is too friendly. Today, guy blows his brains out in Walmart's parking lot. Bailiffs and the circuit clerk are running to this dude and doing the whole "shh" come here I need to tell you something. I know there was a fucking shooting. I'm standing right next to the cunt. He was my fucking friend once. He was my fucking weed dealer at one point.
I don't think I can do this shit anymore. Lawyers are fawning all over him even though he did jack shit work covering the trial. I'll be happy with a $10/hour job. I just want to make sandwhiches or clean toilets if I can make $10 bucks an hour.
I know I could walk into the courthouse (they don't check us) and I could blow my head off. I wouldn't hurt anyone but myself. But my dream would be to go up to the local water tower and just jump. I think I would need wire cutters or something. I know there are probably chains around the ladder on the tower. Fuck. I am thinking too hard about this. I'm really not suicidal, just depressed.
I think I'm in the wrong profession. My competition is too friendly. Today, guy blows his brains out in Walmart's parking lot. Bailiffs and the circuit clerk are running to this dude and doing the whole "shh" come here I need to tell you something. I know there was a fucking shooting. I'm standing right next to the cunt. He was my fucking friend once. He was my fucking weed dealer at one point.
I don't think I can do this shit anymore. Lawyers are fawning all over him even though he did jack shit work covering the trial. I'll be happy with a $10/hour job. I just want to make sandwhiches or clean toilets if I can make $10 bucks an hour.
I know I could walk into the courthouse (they don't check us) and I could blow my head off. I wouldn't hurt anyone but myself. But my dream would be to go up to the local water tower and just jump. I think I would need wire cutters or something. I know there are probably chains around the ladder on the tower. Fuck. I am thinking too hard about this. I'm really not suicidal, just depressed.
With stuff like this you need to just force yourself to do it. Once it's done you will feel an immense sense of relief. Gather all your determination and will power and force yourself or you will regret it later.
PRAXChat?! I will be there!
Originally Posted by Prax: View Post
Hey guys, come and try the irc chat. It's live and I'm still in it right now.
It will be a persistent room locked by a password, so you can go into it whenever you like.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ADDRESS:
http://chat.mibbit.com
1. CONNECT: leave the server dropdown on mibbit
2. NICK: choose whatever nickname you want
(although if you want to reserve a nickname for yourself only, there are other steps you can take. I used this guide because it was easiest, even though we're not really in the mozilla servers: https://wiki.mozilla.org/IRC
If you want to change your nickname at any time, type "/nick NAMEYOUWANT" )
3. CHANNEL: "#depression_gaf depressionsucks"
(type in all the stuff in the quotation marks. #depression_gaf is the channel, and the depressionsucks part is the password to enter into the room)
4. Press the "CONNECT" button~!
(tabs on the top will display the different channels or private chats you are in)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally Posted by Prax: View Post
Hey guys, come and try the irc chat. It's live and I'm still in it right now.
It will be a persistent room locked by a password, so you can go into it whenever you like.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ADDRESS:
http://chat.mibbit.com
1. CONNECT: leave the server dropdown on mibbit
2. NICK: choose whatever nickname you want
(although if you want to reserve a nickname for yourself only, there are other steps you can take. I used this guide because it was easiest, even though we're not really in the mozilla servers: https://wiki.mozilla.org/IRC
If you want to change your nickname at any time, type "/nick NAMEYOUWANT" )
3. CHANNEL: "#depression_gaf depressionsucks"
(type in all the stuff in the quotation marks. #depression_gaf is the channel, and the depressionsucks part is the password to enter into the room)
4. Press the "CONNECT" button~!
(tabs on the top will display the different channels or private chats you are in)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
So people on medication for anxiety, how addictive is it? Like do you feel yourself relying on it? Would you go crazy if you were off of it?
Some days my anxiety is manageable, some days I sit around all day. I have no way of getting a prescription at this point but I'm thinking about going back to a therapist.
If it's not my OCD, it's my social anxiety. Job interviews seem to be something I can do, but meeting women from the internet, I can't do. I have no problem talking on the internet to them, then when THEY ask me out, I make up an excuse and delete my account.
OCD seems to be some what under control, that is until I start a job, we'll see how well I can sleep.
I basically sit around all day wanting to do something, then when something happens I go back to where I'm comfortable.
Some days my anxiety is manageable, some days I sit around all day. I have no way of getting a prescription at this point but I'm thinking about going back to a therapist.
If it's not my OCD, it's my social anxiety. Job interviews seem to be something I can do, but meeting women from the internet, I can't do. I have no problem talking on the internet to them, then when THEY ask me out, I make up an excuse and delete my account.
OCD seems to be some what under control, that is until I start a job, we'll see how well I can sleep.
I basically sit around all day wanting to do something, then when something happens I go back to where I'm comfortable.
I have social anxiety disorder too but I'm not on anything for it. I was pretty isolated as a kid, I stopped going to school at 13 because of panic attacks and as I'm sure you can imagine that just made my social skills worse.
I finally started to get out there after high school but I had something happen that set me back really far at 20. I'm 26 now and I'm pretty awkward.
With the dating thing I find that if I talk on the phone first and then maybe skype it makes it a lot easier when I meet them in person. I just met someone yesterday and I was tired before hand so I drank a cup of coffee and while coffee makes me feel fine in a comfortable setting and perks me up good I'm starting to realize it makes me way more anxious in a setting I'm not used to.
So anyway, I thought I was doing good but she told me I was really nervous lol. I was like I am? So I just told her I have social anxiety disorder. Then towards the end she told she thinks I'm a really awkward person which kind of stung a bit because I thought I hid it better than that but I'm thinking the coffee played a big part. I was jittery and a little hyper but whatever.
I told her a little bit about my situation but not everything that's happened in my life and she opened up a bit to me so a few hours after I left I texted her and said if I wanted to tell you everything would you listen and she said yea but I can't tonight.
I'm not sure if I'll ever hear from her again but whatever, if I don't its her lose not mine. Every time you do it it'll get a little easier and I know that's easy to say but the first time is always the hardest, ya know? I refuse to go on medication for it because it wont fix the cause but if people need it than that's fine too.
I just thought I'd share that.
Something, happened to me over the course of last year, and I just lost my nerve. I can't pull the trigger on dates. I went on a date in September with a girl whom I'd been talking to for a year, and she flew down from Canada to hang out. Every time we went into public I'd have a panic attack (or close to it). She ended up leaving and I haven't spoke to her since (despite me trying).
It's definitely a mental game for me, because if I know it's not the end of the world if it goes bad, but it's just the thought of the awkwardness that holds me back.
Some times, if I dwell on a subject I'll convince myself it'll be okay, it's just my knee jerk reaction that I can't rely on.
I can't classify my anxiety or even my social anxiety. If I walk into a situation where I feel confident and fine, I'll start having a panic attack. If I go into something thinking it's the end of the world, it never is.
This all really sucks because I know no one where I live. Like I have no family and no friends within 1000 miles of me. I moved up here with my ex girlfriend and when she broke up with me, I basically lost my nerve, along with my friends.
I should have control over this now, (I'm in my 30s) but for some reason I don't
It's definitely a mental game for me, because if I know it's not the end of the world if it goes bad, but it's just the thought of the awkwardness that holds me back.
Some times, if I dwell on a subject I'll convince myself it'll be okay, it's just my knee jerk reaction that I can't rely on.
I can't classify my anxiety or even my social anxiety. If I walk into a situation where I feel confident and fine, I'll start having a panic attack. If I go into something thinking it's the end of the world, it never is.
This all really sucks because I know no one where I live. Like I have no family and no friends within 1000 miles of me. I moved up here with my ex girlfriend and when she broke up with me, I basically lost my nerve, along with my friends.
I should have control over this now, (I'm in my 30s) but for some reason I don't
That makes sense.. You're not in therapy? I don't have any friends either but I still have family even though I hate opening up to family.
Just out of curiosity, why'd you stay up there?
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Leo: [to Josh] This guy's walking down a street, when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up "Hey you! Can you help me out?" The doctor writes him a prescription, throws it down the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole! Our guy says "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here!" and the friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out."
Sometimes The West Wing just hits the right notes.
Just substitute friend for this thread.
Sometimes The West Wing just hits the right notes.
Just substitute friend for this thread.
I'm on Buspirone. Its non addictive with very, very mild side effects and has mitigated my anxiety to the extent of truly changing my life.
It was kind of a situation of having 2 months left on the lease with my ex, then I found out that she had a boyfriend(because I still had feelings for her). It was a lot for me to deal with and I had to leave the situation immediately. I found an apartment that day, signed a lease and moved 2 weeks later.
To be honest, I don't know if I'll ever go back. I really haven't done anything with my life and I feel that if I move back to my home town, that'll be it. I'll never leave again.
I think my only solution is reincarnation. Looking in the mirror today I am not only fat and short but very unattractive. What guy wants to hook up with me? I see guys who are lean slim and handsome and I'm the total opposite. Haven't been to the gym in 4 days. Stuck in my fat ugly shell. If reincarnation is real then I must have been a horrid person in a past life to look like this now. Haven't left my bed all day. I am taking next week off from work so I don't have to be outside. If there is goodness in the world if there is a God I will hopefully not survive the weeke.
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