IT'S TIME! IT'S TIME! IT'S PREDICTION TIME! And not even any prediction time, this is the GRANDEST PREDICTION TIME OF THEM ALL! YAY!
I missed out on Elimination Chamber due to that unfortunate ban, but here I am, for the first time since January, with my predictions for WrestleMania! YAY!
Right.
Pre-show
Intercontinental Championship: Wade Barrett (c) vs. The Miz (Pre-Show)
There's a reason this is on the pre-show, the guys in it have almost no interest in them by, well, anyone. In one case it's warranted, as The Miz is mediocre as a heel, but just goddarn awful as a face. It's just not working and that they wasted Ric Flair on this guy instead of on Ziggler is ridiculous in almost every way. On the other hand, Barrett could be a top guy, if only they got behind him for once. that said though, the IC title needs to be retired, as pissing over the legacy of the thing doesn't seem like the way to go. This title should mean something, fix it WWE. As for the match, who really cares, Miz will win via Figure-Four leg-lock after about 9 minutes bell to bell, because really, whatever, he's the face. Congrats on the win Miz, you neither deserve or need it, please don't do anymore MizTV, thank you.
Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls vs. Team Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins
The only reason I don't utterly hate this match is because it gives Rhodes and Sandow their WrestleMania paycheck, which they deserve. Hopefully Sandow gets a better match next year, he deserves to be at the top of the card, his mic work is tremendous and his ring work is solid enough to be in the main event. He deserves a WWE title run the coming year, he's a classic heel and perfect. PERFECT I TELL YOU! Plus his beard is awesome, that alone deserves a title run. Anyway, back to the match. We all know Tons of Funk is gonna win, in an undercard match like this there's no way the faces won't win at WrestleMania. I like that Tensai is having so much fun now that he's not a jobber anymore. Good luck for him. It'll be a short match, so I expect Fake Boob Bella and Cameron to not be tagged into the match at all, Naomi and Brie Bella will get a move or three. Sandow and Tensai will start the match and it will end with Brodus and Sweet T hitting their finishers and pinning Cody Rhodes.
Chris Jericho vs. Fandango
Jericho is famous for putting people over, he's semi-retired, but out of all the part-timers, the only one you can count on putting over new talent. Which is what he will do. Johnny Curtis deserves this match, he's been in developmental for so long he must've been ready to go to TNA any day now. He's pretty good at his gimmick too, for all it's idiocracy. Well done on your first match (as Fandago) in WWE, and on your first WM match, 1-0 for Fandago.This will be a sleeper match, pretty sure alot of people will be suprised by the quality of the wrestling in this one, I hope they get 15 minutes.
Ryback vs. Mark Henry
I am quite excited for this match. Contrary to popular oppinion, I do like Ryback. Sure, he's not as good as Goldberg, but he's a good enough strong man to match Henry. And I do love my a good old fashioned big men wailing on eachother brawl, so this should be fun. After spending much of the match being dominated by Henry, Ryback is gonna come back, not botch his Shellshock and pin Henry. Ryback wins and goes on to be the first fodder for heel Cena.
WWE Tag Team Championship: Team Hell No (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston w/ AJ Lee
I love everyone in this match and that includes Big E. Sure, he's green, but damn this guy can throw people around like there's no tomorrow. He's definitely the strongest man on the roster and it shows. I can't wait for him and Bryan to go at it, should be alot of fun. I don't know if Bryan and Kane will be done at WM or they'll wait for the break-up at Extreme Rules. Probably the latter, however, they will lose the titles as AJ shenanigans will distract Kane, so that Bryan can take the pin after eating both guys finishers. Ziggler gets the fall and Big ZiggE Lee become Tag-Team Champions.
Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show vs. The Shield
The Shield doesn't fight alot of matches, they haven been thoroughly build up as a team and as a well functioning unit. That's their strength and we've seen in the two matches at Elimination Chamber and TLC that they slowly pick the other team off one by one and getting the win like that. We'll see that here as well, as The Shield comes out on top. We won't see Orton turn heel until the rematch at Elimination Chamber I think, but we'll see Orton losing by Sheamus or Big Show taking the fall in some shenanigans way.
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Jack Swagger
Del Rio wasn't working as a heel, his WWE Title run was lackluster as a result and his destiny talk never connected with anyone. His face run is also not working, I'm starting to think Del Rio simply doesn't have it. He's lacking something, but I just can't relate or connect to the guy at all. Swagger on the other hand is even less charismatic, Zeb Coulter helps alot, but he's not offensive enough, the gimmick should be worse, I guess we can blame the PG-label for that one. This match should be entertaining at least, as the guys lack promo skills, but make up for it with in-ring work. I'm gonna say Del Rio will win this one after some Zeb/Ricardo stuff happens where Swagger will get distracted. Afterwards we'll see Swagger and Zeb beat on Ricardo and Del Rio when... HERE TO SHOW THE WORLD... out comes Swagger's old buddy Ziggler with Big E and AJ. And our newly crowned Tag champion will cash in his MitB contract for his title shot. A short match later, Ziggler finally gets his due and becomes the first MitB winner to succesfully cash in at WrestleMania. Becoming a dual champ in the process.
Additionally, we won't see this at WM, but on Monday at Raw we'll get AJ vs. Kaitlyn for the title, where AJ will become the divas champion. Indeed, that's alot of gold on one stable, but they need it due to being treated like shit since TLC.
No Holds Barred With Triple H's Career On The Line: Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar
Looking forward to this one, because you know these two will work a stiff match, we'll see blood, we'll see people flying over ropes, we'll see Triple H's sledgehammer and hopefully he won't have to cover it with his hand to soften the blow this time. We'll also see Triple H winning this match after a pedigree or five. The final one will be on the steel steps. Oh yeah, Steph and Heyman will be at ringside for this one. I expect this match to have JR on commentary.
The Streak On The Line: The Undertaker vs. CM Punk
In my fantasy world, Punk is winning this one. However, in reality, Taker is gonna avenge Paul Bearer. The entrances will be fun, the match will be solid and after we have a 5 minute break of sleeper holds we'll have a bunch of finisher spots and Undertaker goes 21-0. It would be very cool if Taker decided to retire here at WM29 and go out by giving a win to Punk though. But, no, alas.
WWE Championship: The Rock (c) vs. John Cena
John Cena, poor John Cena. I often wonder if he'll ever be remembered like the previous era's top stars. How fondly we think back to Austin, Rock and even Hogan. Cena however, nobody actually likes anymore. It's simple really, he's not a beloved star. He's had good matches, but is he stealing the show? Is he cutting amazing promo's? No, none of that. He gets go away heat and not even amongst the younger fans I notice a trend of getting behind other guys. Cena knows this and I think WWE has realised that they need to do something new with Cena now. John will win this match, he will once again mock Rock by doing his people's elbow routine, succesful this time and then follow up with the AA for the win. Now, as for how he will turn heel, I think we'll see some kind of Heyman involvement in this one. Maybe Brock comes out and he and Cena will attack Rock together. Cena has been a face for so long, I think some guidance will come handy here, Heyman could finally create his monster stable with Brock, Punk and Cena together. Imagine those three going against Ryback, Sheamus and the like. Now that would be fun. In reality though, Cena will win, Rock and Cena will shake hands, hug and Cena wins his 11th WWE title by rising above hate and what not.
Still #heel, damnit. SWERVE ME WWE, DO IT!