Atramental
Banned
"Kiss it. KISS IT!"
Is there ever a romantic way to request oral?
- Thread starter EleventhDoctor
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Nine years, bro? Are you saying you've never got it, or that you're in a drought? I've gotten women that typically aren't into that to do it without a problem - you just gotta go down on them and transition into a 69 to at least get the ball rolling. If you take care of yourself down there (read: clean-shaven, smell decent) it shouldn't be a big thing unless she is really against it completely.
Been with the same person for just short of four years no issues.
More importantly is solving these issues BEFORE getting married.
mullet2000
Member
Just don't get married to someone you aren't sexually compatable with.
People who complain about this stuff have communication problems with their partner or they aren't sexually compatable with their partner to begin with. If one of you suddenly don't want any sex to the point that they are offended by you asking for oral sex, there's some big issues there. People don't magically stop liking sex because they got married.
IHaveCandy
Banned
Just tell her you would love it to have your sick sucked right now. Shave, shower and such to avoid excuses. If she says no, then that's that.
EleventhDoctor
Banned
Nah-it's just after 9 years of marriage it just keeps getting to be less and less.
frankie_baby
Member
if you cant just ask you got the wrong wife
Yep, sounds to me like his marriage is in trouble.
A serious conversation needs to be had, and they need to work it out. Her getting "offended" by his want for sex isn't really healthy in the relationship. Not to say, everyone has to have the same sex drive. But if she has such a low sex drive compared to OP, then maybe at this point in their life they are incompatible.
If I were in this situation, I would try to work it out as much as possible. And if it didn't improve, I would just get a divorce. Divorce isn't to be taken lightly. But if there is that kind of disconnect between partners, I don't see the point in staying in that relationship for the rest of your life (especially after working hard on trying to fix it).
EDIT: Nevermind, OP now saying his overall sex life...is fine lol
A good poster
Banned
Are there kids involved in this marriage? Sounds like you need to put some thangs on the table.
Have things just turned into sex 2x a week, where you get on top or she gets on top, and you hump for 5 minutes, and then go to sleep?
Are things good otherwise? Is she trying to tell you something? Telepathically? Do you guys need to save your sex lives?
Have things just turned into sex 2x a week, where you get on top or she gets on top, and you hump for 5 minutes, and then go to sleep?
Are things good otherwise? Is she trying to tell you something? Telepathically? Do you guys need to save your sex lives?
Devolution
Member
How old and are kids in the picture?
brianjones
Member
watch the brown bunny with her
Dude. Stop posting on gaf. You should talk to her about this. Get to why she is offended, as others have said. Women aren't here for us to just toss our cocks in. There is a reason behind all of this, and the solution isn't tricking her to blow you.
If you can't have this conversation with the love of your lIfe, gaf can't help.
Your marriage has serious communication problems.
If your wife gets offended when you say you want a blowjob, then you need to either give up blowjobs, or talk to her about why she gets offended when you say that, and establish a way to communicate about it that will actually work. There's no magic "romantic" way to say things that your wife will understand. Ask her what the problem is, and explain that it's something you want out of a sexual relationship and that you want to find a way to fulfill both your desires on the subject.
Vicetrailia
Banned
Easier when you marry a woman who likes doing things like this for you.
Devolution
Member
Also this is going to start a shit storm but I'll ask anyway, are either of you religious?
EleventhDoctor
Banned
Again I want to clarify that the issue here isn't sex overall-that's fine. But sometimes my wife won't be in the mood for a few days, and like Louis CK says, you just need to open the valve. And if she's not in the mood for sex, it's like everything is off the table. Sorry if it came across earlier like I'm living like a monk.
Honestly, this is it.
If you want to have a good long-term sexual relationship with somebody, make sure you can talk about what you find hot, and talk about it all the time. Sex shouldn't require telepathy.
Every night when you come home, just ask, "Hey, is it blowjob time yet?"
or
"My watch is broken...keeps saying its blowjob time. Is that the right time?"
If she starts, boom. Win. If not?
"Well when IS it blowjob time?"
Gotta get her to commit.
Or Just get them from other people. Probably easier.
or
"My watch is broken...keeps saying its blowjob time. Is that the right time?"
If she starts, boom. Win. If not?
"Well when IS it blowjob time?"
Gotta get her to commit.
Or Just get them from other people. Probably easier.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
I told ya op..the uninitiated won't get it..
Devolution
Member
A BJ is easy mode though. I don't even understand. Why does she need to be totally turned on just to please you? Hell I prefer to do bjs when I'm not particular horny myself. If I'm horny I just want to screw.
Yeah we totally don't get it. Woe is us.
EleventhDoctor
Banned
Heh. I'm starting to see your point.
Bomber Bob
Banned
frankie_baby
Member
its a life long commitment
Kuro Madoushi
Unconfirmed Member
You married?
Works for me.
Seriously though, OP, if you're married you need to communicate and if you're hesitant to talk to your wife, then your first problem ain't getting head.
mullet2000
Member
So many healthy relationships in this thread
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
Marriage for a long time changes things. You're young. I know you can sit behind your monitor and talk to me about communication yadi bladi or don't marry someone who ladi dadi, but, one day, you'll see lol. Well, your future husband will. Especially after you have kids. And me and him will telepathically brofist with tears in our eyes.
Lazy Man's Wallpaper
Member
When I think back to, oh, the first year or so after our daughter was born, it's so true it fucking HURTS. Since then things have gotten much better
I'm calling bs. Egg shells over a blow job isn't normal. Neither is getting offended over the idea. The way you're Describing Sex screams out sex problems and your problem with the lack of it.
It takes two people to keep the intimacy RoLling. There isn't any by the sound of it.
I don't think you Can laugh it off as a ck bit, and that things are fine by you, since you made a thread. HOw did talKing to her fail last time? I mean a big part is her understanding you, and you her. How did it not do that?
EleventhDoctor
Banned
This is exactly what I'm frustrated by.
Well if marriage means you eventually get sick of having sex with your partner, or giving them favors when you're not in the mood...should we warn the LGBTs? This marriage things seems more and more like a tax scam and the source of unwanted children.
freenudemacusers
Member
what do you mean by uninitiated? pretty sure there are married people, probably some married for a decade plus, responding to the thread.
Your avatar gives the vibe that you have no personal experience on the matter. Just wanted to point that out.
Mister Wilhelm
Member
Romantically? That's your problem right there, sad sack.
My advice to you is to man up, hit the gym, and ignore sex. Get in the best shape of your life. Come home sweaty in tight shirts, casually undress in front of your wife, tease her with your body.
She'll take the bait. But when she does, that's when you bust out the rope and handcuffs and dominate her like she never knew she wanted. Make her beg for things, call her names, etc.
I guarantee you if you put the effort in to be more desirable and show personal development, she'll want you more than if you try to ask politely like some pussy-starved husk of an emotionally emaciated boy.
My advice to you is to man up, hit the gym, and ignore sex. Get in the best shape of your life. Come home sweaty in tight shirts, casually undress in front of your wife, tease her with your body.
She'll take the bait. But when she does, that's when you bust out the rope and handcuffs and dominate her like she never knew she wanted. Make her beg for things, call her names, etc.
I guarantee you if you put the effort in to be more desirable and show personal development, she'll want you more than if you try to ask politely like some pussy-starved husk of an emotionally emaciated boy.
Devolution
Member
So what are we going to do about it? Either deal with what she imposes or put up a fuss. If you can't come to a compromise then that's that. It's obviously frustrating enough for you to vent here but we can't suck your dick when you want it OP.
Or maybe you need to stop projecting your misery. My parents are old as hell and fuck regularly. I've even heard it x_x.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
It's obvious not everyone's relationship will be like the op's. But there are plenty of married guys who have experienced what the op has. There are also plenty of married couples who have sex 40x a day for 30 years. That's great, but their advice won't work for op. It's not the universal type of advice he needs.
brianjones
Member
i promise to felate, through good times and bad
EleventhDoctor
Banned
Great advice! How long have you been married.
I've been married for twelve years. Don't blame your sex problems on marriage.
EleventhDoctor
Banned
Thanks for the words, friends. Feels better to know I'm not the only one out there.
turbosnail
Banned
Tell her to sit on your face then ask her to return the favor, you have to put yourselves in their shoes, like dude they have to put ur dick in their mouths
Sure we can, there are plenty of us on GAF. Sometimes he'll get a winner like you and sometimes he'll get a slob like me. It's like russian roulette.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
It's obvious this doesn't apply to every marriage under the sun. They all fall into different types, like people, or anything else. My marriage is fine btw. =)
Honestly, I haven't experienced it to the extent you are. But after our first son I know what it's like to walk on eggshells for things that were..usual..in the past. Again, every woman/relationship is different. It can get better, it can get worse, just don't give up.
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