I remember seeing him get hit by a car whilst crossing a road. He immediately got up and ran to the driver side window and asked the driver if he was okay.
This thread reminds me of a guy I was working with on a construction site. His name is Nutz for reasons that will become apparent. He worked on site as an electrician. Some further explanation as to what this guy is like is to simply say he is from Gympie. For non-Australians (or QLDers) this is kind of the equivalent of saying you're from Alabama; it's assumed you're inbred and a bit simple which Nutz usually reminds people of when he introduces himself by stating yes he is from Gympie no his wife isn't his sister but he'd probably touch his cousin.
Anyway
My understanding is that the electricians on the site were all getting a bit shitty and the supervisor told them if they didn't like him or the way things were going they could move to the other side of the project (it was a rhetorical question). Didn't stop Nutz from putting his hand up and saying he would take him up on the offer.
So he got moved to the other side of the project and made leading hand as there wasn't really a division for electricians on our side at that time. On his first appearance on our side of the project, he marched himself into a meeting with all the senior management and proclaimed that with his entry the IQ pool of the room had just been increased significantly which was apparently met with some dumbfounded looks as at that point no one really knew who he was.
That sort of sums the guy up though; he is quick witted, likes to make those around him uncomfortable, isn't afraid of authority nor making an utter dick of himself. The main thing about the guy that is how sharp he is, when he makes a smart ass comment there is no pause or delay in his retort, he has a come back lined up and ready to fire before you've finished speaking. Despite passing himself of as a dumb ass and an inbred simpleton he is actually very sharp, witty and quite intelligent; but he has that sort of genius in him that is precariously balanced only by his eccentric nature.
He is kind of short, scrawny and carries himself rather 'fabulously' so he looks a little weird. Maybe he really is inbred. Not sure but anyway.
Some of his random antics.
- He loves getting shit from the dump. I'd hate to see what he has laying around the house at home. He is always going to the dump on his R&R weeks and comes back from every R&R with more random shit from the dump. The worksite is on an Island and a lot of workers live on the camp as he does. So to get to the worksite and the camp you have to catch a ferry. What they think when they see him boarding carrying a bunch of stools and other random objects he found on his latest treasure hunt I don't know.
- His favourite thing to collect from the dump is posters / artwork. No idea why. But when you walk around the construction offices you will find traces of his handiwork everywhere. No ones office is off limits, nor the lunch rooms. He usually just finds a bunch of pictures, thinks who it would suit the most and puts them up in peoples offices. One of the English workers has an oil painting featuring an English countryside. Another worker from the US has a couple of pictures of astronauts and a space shuttle taking off, main office hallway has a mother giraffe kissing a baby Giraffe. All around the site I would have to think there would be hundreds of the things. They are everywhere.
My favourite is that in one of the Japanese workers office there is a picture of a Puffer fish. I'm not sure if he understands the irony of that.
- He always does stupid shit to his facial hair. He'll grow a beard for a while, then get bored, and just shave portions of it off. When I say portions I don't mean in any fashionable way, just whatever bit he decides comes off. Over November last year he decided he was going to shave only half his face. So on one side it was entirely unshaven, on the other, all of it was shaved.
The number 1 or 2 on the site, whatever, basically one of the biggest bosses on the project asked him if having half his face shaved was some sort of 'Movember' thing. Nutz bluntly replied "No I'm just a fucking idiot."
"So, just how faithful are you to your boyfriend?" She replied, "VERY...". And without being phased, he said, "Ok, I'll see you later. Bye." Andy has grapefruits.
Well I know a guy (in his 20's) who was on a teen show on the cable and was spanked in the ass by the tv host girl.
He is so proud of that... that one time during a discussion he said "You all are envy of my success".
I'm so envy...
Goddamn that show was horrible.
I don't think he was creepy; polite and quiet guy. He also didn't stalk the girl or anything as far as I know. It seemed like he genuinely liked her. The whole situation was just sad more than anything.
This whole story is amazing, laughing so hard i'm crying
Guy I know/knew seems to be immune to the smell of his cat piss. I went over to his house and I literally almost vomited due to the overwhelming smell of cat piss. My fucking eyes were stinging. I did NOT feel good that night. Every visit there was an absolute smell of cat piss emanating from the litter box. The last time I was there it cranked to 11.
Oh man, I did this when I was a boy. I was going to use my bike to ramp over a drainage ditch, but the driveway across from it had a hedge next to it that blocked the view of the road. Of course when I reached the road, there was a car coming that couldn't see me until I was already in front of it. Thankfully, the lady driving was able to skid so that instead of getting killed by the front, the back end of the car swung around and hit me like a tennis racket. I go flying, tumble, get up and go running to her window and ask if she's okay. Dumbass kid.
On topic, there's been a few ridiculous figures I've known.
When I worked for a pizza joint in high school, there was one tall redheaded guy who had the most outrageously affected Rupaul style catty bitch accent. Completely unselfconscious about it too. Called every woman, "honey". Contrary to stereotype, he was straight as an arrow and was quite the ladies man. I liked him a lot, he was always immense fun to talk to.
A while back in our extended circle of friends there was this enormously fat black guy who put me in mind of Wimpy from Popeye. It's really difficult to express in text what a living caricature this guy was. He had a high pitched voice and always spoke in a wheedling tone, especially when asking for food. He would wheeze all the time, got exhausted walking up a short flight of stairs, but then would plop down on a couch and, I shit you not, twiddle his fingers, and go, "OooOOooOooo, do you have any... snacks? OOOO PLEEEEEEEEEZ" His entire manner was just preposterously comical. He didn't have a car, so he'd bum rides from friends, and this one time it was our turn. My wife was driving, so I told him to sit in the front seat and I'd sit in the back since there was no way he'd fit otherwise. He raised his eyebrow and smirked at me, twiddled his fingers, and asked, "OOoOooOooo, are you sure you want me to sit up there alone with your wife?" I was utterly dumbfounded.
Same circle of friends, chinese guy with awesome long hair who dressed exclusively in black denim whose stated goal in life was to become "an immortal gangster manga artist." He would always be clownishly overly dramatic, strike poses, and badly try to dance like Michael Jackson, complete with "HEEEEEEEEEE!" noises. He'd leave hilarious messages on our answering machine, like, "<heavy breathing> I have decided... to go on a campaign... to find god. And then... we shall see... whoooooo... will be... in charge. EEEE-HEEEEEEE HOOOOO" He would sleep on the floor with a phone book for a pillow. There's entirely too much funny and bizarre about this guy to even begin to summarize, but suffice it to say, he was a Personality, and possibly the craziest, most entertaining, and hilarious one I've ever met, or ever will. He taught me, "Self delusion is good for self esteem."
oh. my. god.
What even....I would have no idea how to handle someone like that.
That isn't your mom in the pic is it?
This thread is amazing. For some reason the thought of trying to grate salami killed me.
Anyhoo, I work in a big open-plan office - so big there are some people way over the other side who you just don't talk to. One guy - I'll call him Kevin - is about 6'4" and lives in the 1930s. He dresses like the second guy from the left here:
His height makes it really hard to ignore how weird he looks - and he keeps his hat on indoors. He has a weird goatee and never smiles - just strides around with an utterly blank expression.
We all use iMacs at work, and Kevin stuck a cardboard surround on his to make it look like an antique TV with dials. Jony Ive would weep bitter, bitter tears.
I think he's a designer, which kinda makes the whole thing worse.
This thread reminds me of a guy I was working with on a construction site. His name is Nutz for reasons that will become apparent. He worked on site as an electrician. Some further explanation as to what this guy is like is to simply say he is from Gympie. For non-Australians (or QLDers) this is kind of the equivalent of saying you're from Alabama; it's assumed you're inbred and a bit simple which Nutz usually reminds people of when he introduces himself by stating yes he is from Gympie no his wife isn't his sister but he'd probably touch his cousin.
Anyway
My understanding is that the electricians on the site were all getting a bit shitty and the supervisor told them if they didn't like him or the way things were going they could move to the other side of the project (it was a rhetorical question). Didn't stop Nutz from putting his hand up and saying he would take him up on the offer.
So he got moved to the other side of the project and made leading hand as there wasn't really a division for electricians on our side at that time. On his first appearance on our side of the project, he marched himself into a meeting with all the senior management and proclaimed that with his entry the IQ pool of the room had just been increased significantly which was apparently met with some dumbfounded looks as at that point no one really knew who he was.
That sort of sums the guy up though; he is quick witted, likes to make those around him uncomfortable, isn't afraid of authority nor making an utter dick of himself. The main thing about the guy that is how sharp he is, when he makes a smart ass comment there is no pause or delay in his retort, he has a come back lined up and ready to fire before you've finished speaking. Despite passing himself of as a dumb ass and an inbred simpleton he is actually very sharp, witty and quite intelligent; but he has that sort of genius in him that is precariously balanced only by his eccentric nature.
He is kind of short, scrawny and carries himself rather 'fabulously' so he looks a little weird. Maybe he really is inbred. Not sure but anyway.
Some of his random antics.
- He loves getting shit from the dump. I'd hate to see what he has laying around the house at home. He is always going to the dump on his R&R weeks and comes back from every R&R with more random shit from the dump. The worksite is on an Island and a lot of workers live on the camp as he does. So to get to the worksite and the camp you have to catch a ferry. What they think when they see him boarding carrying a bunch of stools and other random objects he found on his latest treasure hunt I don't know.
- His favourite thing to collect from the dump is posters / artwork. No idea why. But when you walk around the construction offices you will find traces of his handiwork everywhere. No ones office is off limits, nor the lunch rooms. He usually just finds a bunch of pictures, thinks who it would suit the most and puts them up in peoples offices. One of the English workers has an oil painting featuring an English countryside. Another worker from the US has a couple of pictures of astronauts and a space shuttle taking off, main office hallway has a mother giraffe kissing a baby Giraffe. All around the site I would have to think there would be hundreds of the things. They are everywhere.
My favourite is that in one of the Japanese workers office there is a picture of a Puffer fish. I'm not sure if he understands the irony of that.
- He always does stupid shit to his facial hair. He'll grow a beard for a while, then get bored, and just shave portions of it off. When I say portions I don't mean in any fashionable way, just whatever bit he decides comes off. Over November last year he decided he was going to shave only half his face. So on one side it was entirely unshaven, on the other, all of it was shaved.
The number 1 or 2 on the site, whatever, basically one of the biggest bosses on the project asked him if having half his face shaved was some sort of 'Movember' thing. Nutz bluntly replied "No I'm just a fucking idiot."
I thought this thread was going to be about RiFF RAFF.
He dresses like a french peasant farmer?
I must meet this man.
Dedication Through Light here on NeoGAF.
The stuff he says is often super ridiculous. Things like console games look superior to anything on PC and other random stuff. Sometimes it's hard to say if he's just trolling or if he genuinely believes that stuff. And I don't say this to be mean... he's a nice guy. He just says so many ridiculous things. I was his roommate in college for two years too so I know him personally and man, those were some interesting times lol.
I always thought he was occasionally trolling in the Hunter x Hunter thread when he says the show is about happy lightheartedness (when it's...not) and doesn't like it when the show is its characteristic self.Dedication Through Light here on NeoGAF.
The stuff he says is often super ridiculous. Things like console games look superior to anything on PC and other random stuff. Sometimes it's hard to say if he's just trolling or if he genuinely believes that stuff. And I don't say this to be mean... he's a nice guy. He just says so many ridiculous things. I was his roommate in college for two years too so I know him personally and man, those were some interesting times lol.
Are you referring to Dr. Titty, by any chance?I met an Indian guy here in Dubai named "Titty George". He was a carpet and fabric salesman. I thought it was a nickname until he gave me his business card and it said "Titty George - CEO" on it.
lol This guys sounds like an absolute blast.
Are you referring to Dr. Titty, by any chance?
I'm surprised how seemingly common the combination of Titty and George are. While I'm kind of partial to Mr. Titty Joy, a young lad by the name of Dikshith Titty takes the crown. Poor kid.
lmao, blending ecstacy and oxy into a smoothie with protein powder has to be the most creative usage I've ever heard of.When I worked a Cinnabon at the Mall we had this assistant Manager guy who was blatantly doing Ecstasy and Oxycontin at the register. The funny thing was that he was getting them from the Nutrition shop a across from us.
I remember one day he says "I'm thirsty as fuck man. Watch these buns; glaze these shits too". We get free drinks but this guy runs over to the Nutrition shop (sells vitamins and shit) and picks up some weight lifting powder stuff and his special candy. He whips out the blender that we use for Mocha's; reads the buff powder instructions, tossed in some strawberry-banana-mango stuff along with his pills and creates this Hallucinogenic Nutrition smoothy. He takes a few sips, looks me dead in the eyes and says "Fuck man, I'm gonna w-w-w-win tomorrow. Cant nobody french a Grinch like this MoFo."
Bedazzled, I sat by the dangerous mixing pot thing and contemplated whether or not to go home.
I definitely went the fuck home.
"I'm thirsty as fuck man. Watch these buns; glaze these shits too."
"Can't nobody french a Grinch like this Mofo"
When I worked a Cinnabon at the Mall we had this assistant Manager guy who was blatantly doing Ecstasy and Oxycontin at the register. The funny thing was that he was getting them from the Nutrition shop a across from us.
I remember one day he says "I'm thirsty as fuck man. Watch these buns; glaze these shits too". We get free drinks but this guy runs over to the Nutrition shop (sells vitamins and shit) and picks up some weight lifting powder stuff and his special candy. He whips out the blender that we use for Mocha's; reads the buff powder instructions, tossed in some strawberry-banana-mango stuff along with his pills and creates this Hallucinogenic Nutrition smoothy. He takes a few sips, looks me dead in the eyes and says "Fuck man, I'm gonna w-w-w-win tomorrow. Cant nobody french a Grinch like this MoFo."
Bedazzled, I sat by the dangerous mixing pot thing and contemplated whether or not to go home.
I definitely went the fuck home.
The vase story is amazing, seems like it could be a comedy sketch.
I want more "Andy" stories now.
None of your examples of "Andy" are ridiculous or odd in the slightest. You sound extremely inexperienced.
Hahaha what the fuckI invited Andy over to a small party I was having. He showed up early, and could only stay for a half hour. At this time only my friend, his gf, my wife, and myself were at the party. Shortly after he left, he sent me a text.
"I know one of them is already taken. What about the other one?"
This thread reminds me of a guy I was working with on a construction site. His name is Nutz for reasons that will become apparent. He worked on site as an electrician. Some further explanation as to what this guy is like is to simply say he is from Gympie. For non-Australians (or QLDers) this is kind of the equivalent of saying you're from Alabama; it's assumed you're inbred and a bit simple which Nutz usually reminds people of when he introduces himself by stating yes he is from Gympie no his wife isn't his sister but he'd probably touch his cousin.
Anyway
My understanding is that the electricians on the site were all getting a bit shitty and the supervisor told them if they didn't like him or the way things were going they could move to the other side of the project (it was a rhetorical question). Didn't stop Nutz from putting his hand up and saying he would take him up on the offer.
So he got moved to the other side of the project and made leading hand as there wasn't really a division for electricians on our side at that time. On his first appearance on our side of the project, he marched himself into a meeting with all the senior management and proclaimed that with his entry the IQ pool of the room had just been increased significantly which was apparently met with some dumbfounded looks as at that point no one really knew who he was.
That sort of sums the guy up though; he is quick witted, likes to make those around him uncomfortable, isn't afraid of authority nor making an utter dick of himself. The main thing about the guy that is how sharp he is, when he makes a smart ass comment there is no pause or delay in his retort, he has a come back lined up and ready to fire before you've finished speaking. Despite passing himself of as a dumb ass and an inbred simpleton he is actually very sharp, witty and quite intelligent; but he has that sort of genius in him that is precariously balanced only by his eccentric nature.
He is kind of short, scrawny and carries himself rather 'fabulously' so he looks a little weird. Maybe he really is inbred. Not sure but anyway.
Some of his random antics.
- He loves getting shit from the dump. I'd hate to see what he has laying around the house at home. He is always going to the dump on his R&R weeks and comes back from every R&R with more random shit from the dump. The worksite is on an Island and a lot of workers live on the camp as he does. So to get to the worksite and the camp you have to catch a ferry. What they think when they see him boarding carrying a bunch of stools and other random objects he found on his latest treasure hunt I don't know.
- His favourite thing to collect from the dump is posters / artwork. No idea why. But when you walk around the construction offices you will find traces of his handiwork everywhere. No ones office is off limits, nor the lunch rooms. He usually just finds a bunch of pictures, thinks who it would suit the most and puts them up in peoples offices. One of the English workers has an oil painting featuring an English countryside. Another worker from the US has a couple of pictures of astronauts and a space shuttle taking off, main office hallway has a mother giraffe kissing a baby Giraffe. All around the site I would have to think there would be hundreds of the things. They are everywhere.
My favourite is that in one of the Japanese workers office there is a picture of a Puffer fish. I'm not sure if he understands the irony of that.
- He always does stupid shit to his facial hair. He'll grow a beard for a while, then get bored, and just shave portions of it off. When I say portions I don't mean in any fashionable way, just whatever bit he decides comes off. Over November last year he decided he was going to shave only half his face. So on one side it was entirely unshaven, on the other, all of it was shaved.
The number 1 or 2 on the site, whatever, basically one of the biggest bosses on the project asked him if having half his face shaved was some sort of 'Movember' thing. Nutz bluntly replied "No I'm just a fucking idiot."
None of your examples of "Andy" are ridiculous or odd in the slightest. You sound extremely inexperienced.