Have you ever reached out to somebody you knew in childhood/high school/college?

Eirin

Eirin

Member
If yes, how'd it go? Was it a friend, a crush, some rando you regret never talking to?

I know this forum is filled with dinosaurs so I included college.
 
Yeah all the time. Haven't done a random yet I think but definitely a friend and crush.

I think it's all based on what your intentions and hopes are. I'm sure something positive can come from every reaction if you see the good in it.
 
In terms of people I hadnt spoken to in 30 years, not really except for occasional hellos or hbday on FB. Had a great time at a high school reunion not long ago which I caught up with people and we added each other. But nothing hardcore in terms of discussion.

The only real weird situation I had was I knew someone since grade school. Never been a close friend or anything, but when FB popped up everyone was adding everyone. And of course you'd get everyone saying hi to each other etc...

The weird situation was this person sent me a private message maybe a year later asking if she could borrow money. Hadnt spoke to her since high school. I ignored that message like it never happened.

Then on a totally unrelated note, about 5 years later at work someone asked me if she could borrow money off me too. She said she going through a divorce and needed money for lawyers or something. I said no and tried to play it cool saying I'm tapped as I do real estate investments. Barely even knew her as I was pretty new to the company maybe a year or two on the job.

WTF. It's like people think I'm a bank or something.
 
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Eirin said:
I know this forum is filled with dinosaurs so I included college.
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Suspicious Kenan Thompson GIF
 
I did when the internet became popular, Id not seem some friends since ten years as Id moved town. Nothing came from the conversations though, just exchanging pleasentaries. Wasnt worth it.
 
I've thought about it but I realized I really don't have much to say even if I did. And I'm not about to stalk someone I haven't communicated with in 20 years to see if we still have anything in common after all this time.
 
yep, last time i did this, was with a girl who i use to liked, she was married with 3 kids, and her, another few friends and myself, all met up for drinks

she looked ropey as fuck now, but always led me on in school, but i was perfectly pleasant, and a gentleman, never brought it up or anything, and her being married, that is highly inappropriate

anyway fast forward a few weeks later, and i get invited out to meet her again, with my mum, and her kids, to meet at a xmas market, and have a few drinks, really nice evening, meeting her kids etc etc, in my eye all perfectly innocent, even met her husband, and made him feel like the alpha, since it was his domain (wife kids )

that same night see starts messaging me, asking weird questions, and being very inappropiate, and told her to stop and never replying to her flirting. it was even more unreal since id just been cheated on by my wife, so all this was close to home, i screeshotted the messages, in case she tried to say it was me

and she messages the next day, apologising and asking me to lie about it all in case her husband ask, at that point i blocked instantly and never looked back

long story short, i wont be meeting up with old school friends in the near future
 
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INC said:
yep, last time i did this, was with a girl who i liked, she was married with 3 kids, and her, another few friends and myself, all met up for drinks

she looked ropey as fuck now, but always led me on in school, but i was perfectly pleasant, and a gentleman, never brought it up or anything, and her being married, that is highly inappropriate

anyway fast forward a few weeks later, and i get invited out to meet her again, with my mum, and her kids, to meet at a xmas market, and have a few drinks, really nice evening, meeting her kids etc etc, in my eye all perfectly innocent, even met her husband, and made him feel like the alpha, since it was his domain (wife kids )

that same night see starts messaging me, asking weird questions, and being very inappropiate, and told her to stop and never replying to her flirting. it was even more unreal since id just been cheated on by my wife, so all this was close to home, i screeshotted the messages, in case she tried to say it was me

and she messages the next day, apologising and asking me to lie about it all in case her husband ask, at that point i blocked instantly and never looked back

long story short, i wont be meeting up with old school friends in the near future
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Mad respect for dealing with it like a man.

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I've got a few solid friendships that I've spent the last few decades nurturing. I'm fulfilled on that front, so no I'd have no interest in rekindling relationships I've left behind 25+ years ago. I hope they are doing well but that's about it.
 
Im a dinosaur but i still have contacts with my core highschool friends.
I never reached out to them we just did not lost contact.
Once some girl i knew in primary school sent me an email, she saw my contact wherever and was curious as to what i had become. We exchange a few mails, and then she invited me to some big party which i did not attend since i did not know anyone apart from her and i had not seen her in almost 30 years :messenger_grinning_sweat:
We stopped talking after that.
 
If I ever go back there and see someone in a pub or whatever I'd say hi and have a chat but I don't use facebook and if I did I wouldn't be stalking them
 
I did this with good childhood friend I had. We pretty much separated ways as we grew older after our military service and had not seen each other in 20 years. I remembered hes steam name so tried checking if he is still on steam. Found out he was and send a friend request. Moving on invited him for a beer in town and it was cool as we continued from where we left 20 years ago. Been talking with him ever since.
 
No, I removed Facebook from my life years ago, and besides, virtually everyone in my grade (I went to a private school, so only 40 kids in my grade) in high school moved away.

College? One is way too busy these days to hang out last I heard. One moved away. And the other, a female friend, is married now and I feel that would be weird now to ask to hang out unless I was married or at least seeing someone and we made it a double date. I know there's a few single guys who have no problem being a "third wheel" and don't make it awkward, but I can't do that.
 
I'm still close friends with some people I know from school. But I don't really bother reaching out to people I know from back then. If I'm back visiting family for Christmas or whatever I'll maybe bump into people and catch up then. But I don't really feel like I have to go out of my way to get back in touch with anyone.
 
Most people at my school were a bunch of losers, save a few exceptions. The easiest way to catch up is if I worked at the county jail
 
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Most of my best friends today are from my childhood. We've known each other since we were 4-5. It's the people I've met in high school and beyond that I don't really talk to much anymore. My closest friend in high school is someone who clearly after high school didn't really want to keep any relationships with people from high school. I tried to get in touch with him off and on over the course of a few years off and on after graduation and he clearly was ducking me, so eventually I got the message and just stopped trying. Some people I've chatted here and there and hung out with a couple times but never stayed routinely in touch or anything.

Last time I spoke to anyone who isn't already a close friend of mine has been years.
 
DragoonKain said:
Most of my best friends today are from my childhood. We've known each other since we were 4-5. It's the people I've met in high school and beyond that I don't really talk to much anymore. My closest friend in high school is someone who clearly after high school didn't really want to keep any relationships with people from high school. I tried to get in touch with him off and on over the course of a few years off and on after graduation and he clearly was ducking me, so eventually I got the message and just stopped trying. Some people I've chatted here and there and hung out with a couple times but never stayed routinely in touch or anything.

Last time I spoke to anyone who isn't already a close friend of mine has been years.
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For me it's the opposite. Interesting how everyone has close friends from different eras.

Excluding all the FB kinds of friends from school I barely talk to, I've got a handful of truely close friends from school. One from kindergarten, one from University, one from grad school who are all local. There would be more but many moved out of province so everyone loses touch with those people aside from FB kinds of messages. But sometimes we still connect in person if I'm in town or they are. When I used to do annual business trips to Vancouver I'd try to meet up with a few people there from university. And when they are in town, they'll let us know and we try to hit a pub downtown or somewhere close to the hotel they are staying. In terms of close friends now (in quantity), they are mostly work friends from various jobs. We chat all the time and go to pubs and ballgames. And for the guy buddies, every year we'll go out of town to watch a baseball or hockey game.

Of course all this helps when everyone's local.
 
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My closest friends are the guys I knew in grade school.

I'm TERRIBLE at Facebook stalking so have no real ability to chat up any girls from back then, even if I wanted to.

Did run into an old girlfriend from 20 years ago at work once, fortunately tincture of time made it pretty chill because it wasn't all that great of a break up.

Definitely not trying to run down any old hook ups, if any progeny were created I'd rather they not know how to find me :p
 
I did during the pandemic. Stuck at home, bored, and it genuinely interested me how it was affecting others. It felt like the world was ending so there was no awkwardness about it. What I found though is that when someone is out of your life its best it stays that way. Doesn't matter how deep the relationship was, it ended for a reason. Most platonic relationships are just circumstantial. The only way is forward.

I don't mess with social media where I can't be somewhat anonymous now and I have zero desire to connect with others outside of my everyday life.
 
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Not really. I have too many friends to keep track of already, and I don't have Facebook.
 
No, I haven't but in middle school there was a kid who dressed real nice in all ralph lauren. I would sit next to him and he would always talk shit about all the other kids. He had no friends but neither did I, I didn't consider him a friend I would listen to him because I sat next to him.
Long story long after high school he found my number and called me. He was going on excitedly about how difficult it was to get my # and that he had signed up for the Navy. After a few minutes of talking he pauses and ask if I have a few minutes to talk. I tell him "No, no I don't and hung up on him"

Op I know you are him and you can go to hell for talking shit about our classmates
 
Yeah, I'm really close with a lot of friends from Uni. We keep in touch, meet up etc. Even if we haven't spoken in a while, when we finally do, it's like nothing has changed. Then I have friends that I wasn't as close to from that period of my life, and occasionally stay in touch with them. I even got invited to a wedding this coming November, and I haven't seen this girl in like almost 10 years.

If the relationships you've made with people are honest and true, then it shouldn't be an issue reaching out and saying hi once in a blue moon, even if it has been a very long time since you last did.
 
near said:
Yeah, I'm really close with a lot of friends from Uni. We keep in touch, meet up etc. Even if we haven't spoken in a while, when we finally do, it's like nothing has changed. Then I have friends that I wasn't as close to from that period of my life, and occasionally stay in touch with them. I even got invited to a wedding this coming November, and I haven't seen this girl in like almost 10 years.

If the relationships you've made with people are honest and true, then it shouldn't be an issue reaching out and saying hi once in a blue moon, even if it has been a very long time since you last did.
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It gets harder when we all get older as everyone's lives go on, people move, some people even die.

In terms of close relationships, I've got my core group of school friends and coworkers who are local. But even going beyond that for people who moved away or I havent worked beside for 20 years, I dont see how it's hard to be friends with people and be in touch.

I think I went to 5 university friends weddings, my best friends wedding from grade school, and work colleagues at least 4 I can remember. I'm sure I'm missing some too. I even went to my real estate buddy's wedding. Great guy too. Known him for almost 25 years.
 
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The vast majority of people I went to different schools with are not the kind of people I'd want to have in my life. I've reconnected with a few of them when the social platforms became popular for the first time (making it easier to find and contact each other), but that didn't last long. We are different people now with different lives and interests.

Also it didn't help that my best friend from high school had long-lasting health issues and died pretty young.
 
Someone messaged me when I had a Facebook account. I felt pretty bad for them because we weren't even really friends - I could only just remember them really. I didn't reply.
 
I have two friends that I still see since we met in the 4th grade…in the mid 80s. There was another friend that was part of our group that we lost touch with right after we graduated from college.
I bumped into his mom a few months ago and she told me about where he's been and gave me his number. I texted him once, then twice with no response. The three of us agreed to give it one last shot and still no response.
 
When Facebook became a thing, a bunch of people from elementary school to high school added me/I added them. It's nice to see how everyone's lives ended up as we all hadn't seen each other since our school days. Everyone just gets busy in life and goes their separate ways. No one lives in the same area so I haven't been able to see anyone in person though.
 
I'm 40 this year. I was surprised to learn that an unusually large number of my school friends either passed away, comitted suicide, or have extreme health issues. There was a reunion a few years back and I was quite shocked at the health of most people I grew up with.

Once you get to 40 you can really spot the people who took care of their bodies in their 20s and 30s because by the time they hit 40 they look fucking 60
 
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Nocty said:
I'm 40 this year. I was surprised to learn that an unusually large number of my school friends either passed away, comitted suicide, or have extreme health issues. There was a reunion a few years back and I was quite shocked at the health of most people I grew up with.

Once you get to 40 you can really spot the people who took care of their bodies in their 20s and 30s because by the time they hit 40 they look fucking 60
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not really, i gave 0 fucks about my body, and raved through all my 20s, took every substance under the sun, and gave 0 fucks

i dont look in my 40s at all, and have 0 health issues

whereas most other in my class group who had kids and a normal life, look fucked lol
 
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