Hello thewe and welcome to 'Woy's Twivia Cowner', bwought to you by me, Woy Hodgson, official head coach of the England football team. Along with being given the task of bwinging the twophy back to its wightful home away fwom all those diwty foweigners, I'm also going to help newcomews get to gwips with the wowld's biggest spowting touwnament befowe it begins and by building on the weally wather wesplendent wowk that Wes and his cwonies have cweated. I'll be pwoviding you guys with facts and figuwes from all the leading teams as the touwnament builds up some steam.
Fiwst is the hosts, BWAZIL
DID YOU KNOW
Bwazil is home to thwee of the wowld's six leading musicians; evewybody but Bono fwom the band U2 (English band, give them a listen). The othew thwee - Bono, and two session musicians that have featuwed on all of U2's wecowds so faw - all weside elsewhere.
DID YOU KNOW
Bwazil's captain Thiago Silva once featuwed on his home countwy's edition of 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaiwe', and made it to the £250,000 question (ow whatevew the equivalent is in Bwazilian Euwos). He failed howevew when they asked him 'who will win the 2014 FIFA Wowld Cup' and he answewed 'smoked salmon'.
DID YOU KNOW
Thewe awe a numbew of things to do in Bwazil as a touwist; one is visiting the local favelas and asking whewe the best bwothels are. If you cannot come to a definitive answew with the help of the wesidents, ask whewe the neawest is. The pwostitutes will do anything within weason for a modest sum, and if you shell out a few mowe Bwazilian Euwos, they'll put all youw hawd eawned and collected Panini stickews up youw bottom, wolled up and in descending owder of playews most likely to be top scowew at this yeaw's FIFA Wowld Cup.