Ozzy Onya A2Z
Member
Great community around them, however, the parents of his classmates should be ashamed of themselves. Asshats.
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6-year-old autistic boy throws birthday party - none of his classmates show up :(
- Thread starter RBH
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Man, I am real glad this had a happy ending. For whatever reason, just the thread title hit me hard.
Slightly off-topic question for parents of kids around this age, just to assuage my curiosity: do parents still drop kids off at elementary school parties with their classmates, even if you don't really know the parents too well? This used to be pretty common when I was a little kid, but it seems like so many things have changed, even in just one generation.
Slightly off-topic question for parents of kids around this age, just to assuage my curiosity: do parents still drop kids off at elementary school parties with their classmates, even if you don't really know the parents too well? This used to be pretty common when I was a little kid, but it seems like so many things have changed, even in just one generation.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
Regional tradition maybe? I grew up on the East coast and this was fairly common when I was growing up for the first few grades of elementary. I went to theirs, they went to mine, it was pretty nice, plus made for lots of great memories getting to play mini golf, arcade games, and eat pizza and cake. I feel bad for the kid, glad it turned out happy.
Emperor_Uriel
Member
Probably the parents that steered their kids away from the party. I went to every birthday I was invited to at that age, often for the cake alone.
Also, HULK HANDS.
Also, HULK HANDS.
Man what a wonderful ending to this story. It's a cruel world out there, there will be many more awful people around this poor little dude. Man, autistic individuals can share some of the most total love you'll ever experience. They don't judge at all, it's amazing to be around them. It's a tough life and you need to be understanding, but it has its rewards too.
Sneaky Gato
Member
This happened to my sister for her eighth birthday. Invited 10 kids to a birthday party 1 showed up. Crushed her and we stopped throwing those sort of big birthday parties after that.
kunonabi
Member
No, but you would hope there would be some decent kids who would have shown up. When I was in elementary school I always made it a point to go to the parties for the less popular kids. I was the most popular kid in my elementary school so that usually got a few extra guests to tag along. It's not like this was middle school where being a dick is mandatory.
Ozzy Onya A2Z
Member
Yeah, go with them at that age. We invite the whole class for both our young ones (school and kindergarten) and attend as a family. As they get older they can be dropped off and picked up. There's plenty of hands on and off to help with at parties, usually the other parents appreciate a helping hand at the party too.
Because 16 kids from the same class all not showing is hardly a coincidence. I'm sure it wasn't a big conspiracy but at least a small percentage should have showed.
Velcro Fly
Member
I remember when I was in the 1st grade or so this girl was having a birthday party and no one showed up. Then the next day at school her mom was seriously in the hallway outside of the classroom interrogating kids as to why they weren't at the party. It was traumatizing. I don't recall why I didn't go. I think I might have just forgot or something.
I'm glad there are good people in this world to help make someone's day though.
I'm glad there are good people in this world to help make someone's day though.
Because clearly everything is a conspiracy.
EDIT: I was referring to the story as a whole but whatever
This is a cool story but...
Kids barely know each other.at this age and this reeks of parents begging for presents on their kid's behalf.
Kids barely know each other.at this age and this reeks of parents begging for presents on their kid's behalf.
I don't know I was thinking the same thing, but I was born and raised in Florida. The parties I attended were mostly kids from the neighborhood and kids I played sports with. Inviting random kids I didn't talk to just because they were in my class doesn't seem like a good idea.
But when you were 6 years old? You must have been a really bright kid to be conscious of those things at that age.
Must be an East coast thing. Was totally common growing up and it wasn't for the gifts hell most parents would say don't need to bring anything. The whole idea was having kids have fun and they aren't going to have fun with a birthday party full of adults.
I went to parties for kids I barely knew but it was a chance to have crazy kid fun, cake, ice cream etc.
Autistic Kids tend to have a hard time making friends as it is. I would imagine it was an attempt to create an environment of fun where maybe he could develop some friendships.
I went to parties for kids I barely knew but it was a chance to have crazy kid fun, cake, ice cream etc.
Autistic Kids tend to have a hard time making friends as it is. I would imagine it was an attempt to create an environment of fun where maybe he could develop some friendships.
Captain Chaos
Member
That's a cynical view.
I don't get it. The kid having autism doesn't make him entitled to friends.
Carnby
Member
Because this type of stuff happens a lot.
I think it's suspicious that out of sixteen children invited, not a single one showed up.
At the same time, it'd be odd for sixteen parents to all be mean enough to coordinate something like that. I think it be more likely that the party wasn't advertised well enough or that it took place at an odd time.
I'd hope so at least. I can't see any motivation to do that intentionally.
Carnby
Member
Sympathy and free stuff.
sandalphon
Member
Yeah, to be honest, I was a bit of a jerk when I was a toddler too. There was a kid that smelt funny in my class, I remember, and no one wanted to play with him. Ever.
My parents made me turned up to his birthday and I was the only that turned up and he latched on to me for the rest of that year. It was hell. I was outcasted along with him by the rest of the class.
My parents just laughed it off, but I still remember how I hated going to school every day.
I was 8/9 or so, though. A bit older. School days, man.
Well, think of how many birthday parties for kids there are every day. This is only a news story because no one showed up. Not really surprising that it's unlikely when this story was specifically elevated to our notice because it's something uncommon.
Hero Prinny
Member
What a nice happy ending. This is why I never wanted a birthday party, deep down I knew no one would show up , hell I only ever got invited to 1 and that was cause I knew my friends mom and she pretty much forced him to. :/
forever alone
I wouldn't necessarily say on purpose, but maybe some parents didn't want to take their kid to the "autistic kids place." It happens.
Worrying about this sort of thing (no one showing up) is why I never really threw birthday parties/invited people for my birthday. I got used to it just being family members as sad as that sounds.
GameGuru59
Banned
Damn.. 
Dammit, why is it raining on my face.
Maybe.
I've got 3 kids and 2 are school-age in early elementary school. It's not like any of the parents we know are publicizing if their kids have autism or ADD or whatever. The only things we know about with our kids's classmates are from the few parents we are very close to. Also, at this stage of child development, it can be very difficult to settle on an appropriate diagnosis unless you are a trigger-happy parent or doctor.
I sincerely doubt that this kid's autism has much, if anything, to do with the other kids' not coming. IF the kid's mom is the type that publicizes the fact he has autism to everyone in earshot, it's more likely that the kids weren't coming to the party as a result of his hypothetically obnoxious mom.
Regardless of anything, this is a really cool thing to see happen.
I think I misinterpreted the question. I meant to imply that I don't understand why the parents of the the other children would purposefully not allow attendance to this boy's birthday party.
I read your question as "Why would people assume the parents of the other children joined together to not attend this kids birthday party?"
Rereading it, however, I realize I may have misinterpreted your question. Did you mean to imply that people are assuming that the birthday boy's parents set this up?
I certainly hope both assertions are not true regardless. Some people try to find ulterior motives/conspiracies behind everything.
While it is odd that not a single classmate attended, there's not enough information present to discover the reason behind it.
I'm happy I'm not the only one who thought this.
But all sixteen kids?
TimorousPanda
Member
I'm glad that depressing thread title wasn't representative of the story as a whole!
Gnome Scat
Member
Screw the other kids, that party looks 10x better than any I ever had. What a good community that kid has.
Don't think it was intentional.
My son doesn't have autism, but was/is slow to develop social skills (born 8 weeks premature). He's been in preschool since he was 3. That's how I am viewing this.
The teachers pay very close attention to what kids play with each other and are friends. They are very specific about it all. They deal with autism regularly too.
Now here's the thing, the mother must have known. Frankly I'm surprised she would just invite all the kids without knowing they would show up. Even more surprised the teacher's didn't warn her against doing this sort of thing. At that age kids are kind of fickle. Best to take it slow, play-dates, not birthday party blowouts.
If my son was not making friends, his teachers would have told me. In fact at first when he started to interact with one of his peers, it was no more than maybe meet at a playground and that's it. They would have told me not to just invite the whole class and hope for the best. Even under normal circumstances that's a reach, but a child with autism?
Its not that the child can't or won't have friends, its about expectations and how the mother clearly did something strange here. This sort of thing does not happen where we live, even among the parents we don't associate with.
All is well that ends well, let this be a lesson though, don't invite your 6yo's entire class to a birthday party without knowing in advance they will actually come.
My son doesn't have autism, but was/is slow to develop social skills (born 8 weeks premature). He's been in preschool since he was 3. That's how I am viewing this.
The teachers pay very close attention to what kids play with each other and are friends. They are very specific about it all. They deal with autism regularly too.
Now here's the thing, the mother must have known. Frankly I'm surprised she would just invite all the kids without knowing they would show up. Even more surprised the teacher's didn't warn her against doing this sort of thing. At that age kids are kind of fickle. Best to take it slow, play-dates, not birthday party blowouts.
If my son was not making friends, his teachers would have told me. In fact at first when he started to interact with one of his peers, it was no more than maybe meet at a playground and that's it. They would have told me not to just invite the whole class and hope for the best. Even under normal circumstances that's a reach, but a child with autism?
Its not that the child can't or won't have friends, its about expectations and how the mother clearly did something strange here. This sort of thing does not happen where we live, even among the parents we don't associate with.
All is well that ends well, let this be a lesson though, don't invite your 6yo's entire class to a birthday party without knowing in advance they will actually come.
If we assume a 50/50 chance that a kid shows up, roughly 1 in 70,000 birthday parties will have a no show. This is probably a lot higher if you don't have close friends. His classmates might have been just that; classmates.
I definitely felt sorry for the kid, and I'm glad things turned out alright for him. Just that the other or their parents haven't done anything wrong. At least, based on what we know.
Dreams-Visions
Member
they got him an X-Wing
best people.
best people.
TheLastCandle
Member
Big ups to the community for kicking ass for the kid.
No, you were right the first time. People were talking as if the parents of the other kids got together and all decided that none of their kids would attend, just to be cruel.
The point of my example was that there is a sort of survivorship bias going on here. People are reading this story and then thinking to themselves "well hang on, it's really unlikely that no one would show up, just by random chance, right? Therefore the other parents probably did it on purpose." But this doesn't actually work, because us reading this story isn't random--we're reading it because it's unlikely.
To put it another way, imagine that you see a news story about someone winning the lottery. Do you look at the story and go "hang on, it's really unlikely that this one guy just happened to win the lottery. There must be something else going on here."? You don't, because that very unlikelihood is what made it a news story in the first place.
Seeing as how this kid is 6 and at that age it's more about parents arranging with other parents and facilitating, I could imagine that at least part of it was that maybe this mom hadn't gotten to know the other parents very well, whether because her son had autism and it was difficult for him to make friends and/or because she just hasn't had the opportunity to make friends with other parents.
There seems to be something missing as part of this story in my mind and I don't think it's just a simple case of kids/adults decided to be assholes/cold to an (autistic) child.
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