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6-year-old autistic boy throws birthday party - none of his classmates show up :(

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ahoyhoy

Unconfirmed Member
Ain't no six year old turning down an afternoon of free cake and games. This is the parents, and it was probably coordinated, it's hard to buy a universal no-show otherwise.

If I didn't get along with a kid in school, you couldn't bribe me to go to their party with all the cake and games in the world.

But then again, I was a pretty introverted kid.
 

RBH

Member
All the people saying the parents and children aren't obligated to go need to understand this. They aren't obligated, but unless they all had more important things to go to that day, they probably should have gone if they're decent and understand empathy.

Agreed.
 

Takuan

Member
Which makes the point so:
The parents of the 6 year olds refused to accept. I'd be skeptical if I didn't know the vastness of human stupidity. They probably thought austim spreads or something stupid like that. What's with the victim blaming? If you refuse kindly, then you can refuse. Sounds like they didn't even respond. Which is terrible IMO. Also, it sounds like HIS friends might have come if they knew.(whether we know it to be true is in question)
It seems like the mom handed out invites and just expected people would show. No rsvp, no verbal communication, nothing. The story likely leaves this out intentionally because it's a fluff piece meant to warm hearts, and that's fine; people like this stuff.

I'm happy the community came through for the kid, but any parent who thinks I'm obliged to show up for some kid's birthday party just because they gave me an invite can eat it. My responsibility is to my kid, not yours.
 

jmood88

Member
All the people saying the parents and children aren't obligated to go need to understand this. They aren't obligated, but unless they all had more important things to go to that day, they probably should have gone if they're decent and understand empathy.

Even as an adult I try and make every party I'm invited to.
It's ridiculous to expect people to go to everything they're invited to, lest they be labeled indecent people who lack empathy. You may be overly-accommodating to make yourself feel good but not everyone is like that and it shouldn't be expected.
 

Ophelion

Member
Happened to me once when I was a kid. I didn't invite my whole class, but I did invite all my friends and the girl I had a crush on. Does not feel nice to realize you're that unimportant to people around you. Definitely didn't make me any less introverted. I remember my parents took me to a movie instead of whatever group activity I'd had planned. I sat in the way back of our van and took a corner seat so that no one could see me cry. Even today, I'm never quite as jazzed about birthdays as people expect me to be.

Glad it worked out better for this kid.
 
It's ridiculous to expect people to go to everything they're invited to, lest they be labeled indecent people who lack empathy. You may be overly-accommodating to make yourself feel good but not everyone is like that and it shouldn't be expected.

Overly accommodating to make myself feel good? Lol sure thing man.

Sounds like you're the one trying to rationalize feeling better.
 

Coconut

Banned
I still find this story sad, I mean yeah the community did get involved but none of the people he invited ever showed up which would be heartbreaking to me as a kid.

Maybe the kid or parents are assholes. Seems weird that parents would just not bring their kids to a party especially a whole class.


"I am soooo over the autism crap. And since when is it obligatory to come to a party? No, instead mommy predictably gets on FB to whine and gain sympathy. Pathetic."


I forgot to not read the comment section.
 

jmood88

Member
Overly accommodating to make myself feel good? Lol sure thing man.

Sounds like you're the one trying to rationalize feeling better.
What am I rationalizing, exactly? I wasn't invited to this party so it's not skin off my back but all this nonsense about how not going to this kid's party makes people look sociopathic or that they lack empathy is insane. There is absolutely no reason that anyone should expect that an invitation means that you have to attend the event. As I said earlier, the kid having autism doesn't mean he's entitled to have friends. You don't even have the full story but you and others are chomping at the bit to insult the other parents.
 
The way the story us written is almost if none of the parents sent any regrets saying they would not attend.

They should have been a bit more responsible. Also, it would be devestating for any six year old to not have people attend their birthday party, autistic or not.

I suppose I feel far more empathy for the situation that some others because I know how it feels to be ignored by a class like this.

Maybe that's customary where you live, but I've never heard of people being expected to respond one way or the other. It does explain some of the reactions here, but I would think the best way to interpret a lack of response is a lack of interest.
 

paolo11

Member
I love this news. It just shows that love is everywhere even when we are living in dark times. GOD bless this kid and the whole family/community.
 

Crocodile

Member
Wait so did his classmates SAY there were coming and not show up? Or were they just invited but never gave any indication to say they were coming? It seems like the later and if so, it still sucks for the kid but if you don't show up to a party you never said you were coming to..........I can't be mad at you for that. I'm not going to show up to a birthday party if I'm not friends with the birthday boy/girl or there is some other incentive other than free food. (If nobody showed up because of some autism scare fuck them though but that's all speculation at this point no?)
 

Joni

Member
All the people saying the parents and children aren't obligated to go need to understand this. They aren't obligated, but unless they all had more important things to go to that day, they probably should have gone if they're decent and understand empathy.

Even as an adult I try and make every party I'm invited to.
The problem is we know literally nothing about the relation the kid has with his classmates and why they didn't show. IMaybe some kids just didn't show because they didn't want to.
We can't judge them without being assholes because there is nothing in the story on them outside of the fact their kids didn't come.
 
I know I'm now part of the problem, but this thread need to stop being bumped, the title makes me depressed, even if the story ends up happily. :(


And yeah, when you're 6 years old, you (typically) happily go to bday parties, no matter whose it is. I remember in kindergarten/grade 1, I was invited to many parties by people in my class who I barely spoke a word to - but I always went because I didn't care, it was a bday party!!

The only times I didn't go were if my parents didn't let me. I'm assuming that was the case this time - but it's also possible the kids were just really mean and scared/rude to the autistic kid. :(
 
Did a whole bunch of parents RSVP and not show up? If so that is cold blooded and rude as fuck. If no one RSVP'd then that is still pretty shitty but at least the kid's parents could have been prepared and/or called it off.

Either way good on the community for coming together and turning things around for the little guy.
 

Abounder

Banned
The system both disappointed and exceeded expectations. It's terrible that the kid basically learned that he has no friends at 6 years old (on a sidenote the rest of that school year must be pretty awkward), but the community turnout went above and beyond the call of duty.
 
Reminds me that this past christmas my mom went to a work party at somebody's house. When she got back I asked her how it went and she said nobody showed up except for her. She came back with all this food that the person had prepared. I felt so bad for her friend.

I don't know what is worse: nobody showing up or one person showing up. One person showing up is nice because you still to spend time with somebody and you now know that they are a fairly nice person but then it's just awkward and embarrassing. If nobody shows up then it stinks because nobody cared enough to show up for you but you don't have to deal with the awkwardness or anybody really knowing about it.

But that's good that the kid got all that stuff. Sounds better than if people had showed up.
 

Captcha

Member
Aw, cute kid. My brother has Asperger's so this kind of stuff always hits close to home (and also infuriates me when people try and use it as an insult). Hope he had a great time.
 
It's says it was his classmates but not all kids with AU are in a general education classroom setting all day. Sometimes they go to "inclusion" with a special ed aide for like 45 mins. Story is very one sided.
 

aliengmr

Member
Do you know anyone that has autism?

It's rather ridiculous how autism still has the same fear it did when it was first discovered. Hell, people still think that it is contagious.

That's kind of my point though, where is it written that the parents chose not to bring their kids to a party because of Autism?

My point isn't that Autism doesn't have a stigma, it does. My point is that everyone is jumping to the conclusion based on very little information. Its entirely possible the other parents didn't even know about the Autism. What if they lived too far away? What if the parents weren't liked? There are so many reasons why the parents might not have shown up. Or maybe it was they were assholes, we don't know.

All I know is they just did a news story with only one side of the story and other parents are being portrayed as cruel. I'd prefer details before automatically assuming the parents were just being dicks. I, for one, would be pretty upset if I legitimately could not go and it was perceived that it had anything to do with Autism.

And yes, my son attended class with autistic children. He's been in special education since 3. My son's doctor recommended he be tested, but we didn't really see any of the major warning signs so, for somewhat complex reasons, we decided against it. I went to high school with a guy that was an extreme case, like really extreme. I'm no expert but I'm familiar enough with it and if my son was friends with a child with Autism, we would take him to his friend's birthday party. Assuming the agreed date and time were doable, just like any other child. If we couldn't make it, we would send a gift and explain why.
 

Madness

Member
fuck the other kids (and their parents) for not even bothering... but that was a beautiful gesture from the rest of the community.

Considering my little brother has autism, all these kinds of news hit really close to home. Thankfully, all his birthdays were family affairs :)

Why should they be forced to go? I don't get this. Since you have an autistic brother, you know how difficult things can be at times, and how someone who has not dealt with it won't understand. Why would kids or parents want to go? What if no one in the class likes the kid? Judging by the response it seems no one is his friend.

Yeah it's a shitty world and unfair but I don't think you can say fuck the parents or kids for not going/bothering. I used to get invited to random birthdays all the time in class, but unless they were my friend, I wasn't going to go. Why would I? I don't really know them. My mom would always ask if I wanted to go and if I didn't, I'd tell her to tell the other students parents no, and so they wouldn't expect me.
 
As father of a 6 yo girl and a 5 mo boy, this teared me up.

We NEVER miss a friends party exactly because of that. If we're invited, you bet we're there. I'd never want that to happen to my kids, so I won't let it happen to anyone else's.

That's nice of you, but wait until your second kid is older. It starts to become unrealistic. When we just had the one kid, we went to everything to be social. Once we had the second, it started to get really hard to do because now you have pretty much double the events. I think the worst we had was 12 birthdays in the span of two months. One weekend we went to three birthdays. One of the requirements for a birthday party is if you invite a kid in your class, you have to invite all the kids in the class. This is a preschool rule and there are 12 kids in the class. So if everyone has a birthday party, that's 12 weekends. Now if you have two kids, that's 24 weekends. Now factor in family birthdays if they don't clash and suddenly it feels like almost every weekend you're going to a birthday party. It adds up and it's unrealistic to attend all of them. Sometimes you need a break and you simply just say no and don't go.
 

Lumination

'enry 'ollins
No 6 year old deserves to be snubbed by every one of their peers. Hope the parents actually had good reasons for not showing. Or at least the reasons weren't because the kids didn't like him.

Or that he makes some friends when they hear about his party.
 
If this was 6 year old me, I'd be terrified of being the center of attention around all those people I didn't know. I would hate my mom hardcore for doing that.
 
That's nice of you, but wait until your second kid is older. It starts to become unrealistic. When we just had the one kid, we went to everything to be social. Once we had the second, it started to get really hard to do because now you have pretty much double the events. I think the worst we had was 12 birthdays in the span of two months. One weekend we went to three birthdays. One of the requirements for a birthday party is if you invite a kid in your class, you have to invite all the kids in the class. This is a preschool rule and there are 12 kids in the class. So if everyone has a birthday party, that's 12 weekends. Now if you have two kids, that's 24 weekends. Now factor in family birthdays if they don't clash and suddenly it feels like almost every weekend you're going to a birthday party. It adds up and it's unrealistic to attend all of them. Sometimes you need a break and you simply just say no and don't go.

Hey man, get out of here with that realistic and practical perspective. Didn't you get the memo? The 6 yr old kids and their parents are arseholes for not going! Everyone should go to everything, otherwise you're a selfish and unsympathetic person.

Black or white, man. You're either a selfless wonderful person who goes to every social engagement, or you're a selfish and callous sociopath.
 

Koomaster

Member
It seems like the mom handed out invites and just expected people would show. No rsvp, no verbal communication, nothing. The story likely leaves this out intentionally because it's a fluff piece meant to warm hearts, and that's fine; people like this stuff.

I'm happy the community came through for the kid, but any parent who thinks I'm obliged to show up for some kid's birthday party just because they gave me an invite can eat it. My responsibility is to my kid, not yours.
Yeah that's what I'm wondering. No RSVP? Might be nice to know how many people are gonna be showing up for your party right? Didn't make any calls; anything of that nature?

If your kid hasn't made any friends and you're not friends with the parents - not sure why you'd expect anyone to show up. And if that's the case you really need to have an RSVP so you know ahead of time and can possibly make alternate plans.

Anyway, hope this kid's next birthday is just as awesome as this one ended up being. Mom needs to get her act together for next year.
 
My mother hated taking me to birthday parties as a child, but she did so anyways, out of wanting me to be sociable. I think it was a happy day for her when I was not allowed to go to any more parties after the age of 6.
 

aliengmr

Member
That's nice of you, but wait until your second kid is older. It starts to become unrealistic. When we just had the one kid, we went to everything to be social. Once we had the second, it started to get really hard to do because now you have pretty much double the events. I think the worst we had was 12 birthdays in the span of two months. One weekend we went to three birthdays. One of the requirements for a birthday party is if you invite a kid in your class, you have to invite all the kids in the class. This is a preschool rule and there are 12 kids in the class. So if everyone has a birthday party, that's 12 weekends. Now if you have two kids, that's 24 weekends. Now factor in family birthdays if they don't clash and suddenly it feels like almost every weekend you're going to a birthday party. It adds up and it's unrealistic to attend all of them. Sometimes you need a break and you simply just say no and don't go.

My son's preschool actually celebrates all the birthdays in class. Whoever is having the birthday brings the snack and is the class captain of the day.

I couldn't imagine a situation like your's, I'd lose my mind.
 
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