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6-year-old autistic boy throws birthday party - none of his classmates show up :(

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TheStruggler

Report me for trolling ND/TLoU2 threads
My wife is a special ed. teacher, she's had a hard time just to get a few of her autistic kids to get to go on field trips with the other classes. It's always a battle. A lot of the teachers of the "normal" kids don't want to have to deal with them. It's ridiculous and sad.

Also parents these days can be quite cliquey and just as immature as the kids themselves.

wtf kind of school does she work at, my school and classroom alone is full of inclusion. I have a range of students with mild to severe disabilities and they are always involved in classroom activities, field trips, sports activities etc. I actually find my students are more inclusive than some of the adults, few examples. There is a girl in a wheel chair that also has minor cerebral palsy, she can not reach the counter top to help cook with her kitchen group so the students take the cutting board and a butter knife to her and let her cut up the fruit/vegetables etc. other examples in my history class would be the kids who are abled actually take the time to help the student who may have a disability such as writing, or talking over something to make sure they comprehend it. Inclusion just isnt for the disabled student but the abled students as well, it teaches them to be patient caring and empathy
 

GRW810

Member
I recently read another story on Reddit just like this but from England. Autistic boy has awesome Doctor Who birthday party thrown for him by his mum, absolutely no one turns up, strangers save the day.

It's a horrible and upsetting thought, that your child could be so let down. I would take my daughter to every single party she was ever invited to, and appreciate that invite. Some people are just heartless and selfish though.
 

erawsd

Member
I think its ridiculous to immediately call the other parents/classmates shitty because they didn't attend the party.

If this is a case where the mom actually went directly to the parents, chatted them up, and they agreed to come, then they did a shitty thing. However, if she just handed out invites to total strangers and none of the classmates were friendly enough with her son to care then its entirely her fault.

If you want to celebrate your child's birthday with his classmates, the better solution is to coordinate with the teacher and treat the other kids to cupcakes or something.
 

Joni

Member
The absence of the other kids is very sad, but we literally have no idea about why the kids were absent. So let's focus on the happy part where the community made sure the kid did have a fantastic birthday.
 
I still feel bad that his classmates didn't show up. Hopefully he valued the strangers' response more than his classmates and is legitimately happy about the result.
 

gimmmick

Member
I don't understand why parents wouldn't want to bring their kids to a classmates birthday party that is facing so much in life. Even if it was just being there for an hour could make his day.

Hope he had a great birthday.
 

Two Words

Member
In the 6th grade, a kid invited a ton of classmates to his birthday party at his house. I was the only one that showed up. It was kind of awkward because of that, but I did end up getting a lot of ice cream cake.
 

Terrell

Member
Glad this kid's 6th birthday didn't turn out like my 30th. 2nd graders aren't great at drowning sorrow in gin like I was.
 

Zips

Member
I remember going through something similar. Invited something like 10-ish people, and 2 showed up. Was incredibly awkward and depressing. I still remember even talking to one of the invited people on the phone and him giving a clearly bs reason for why he couldn't come - something along the lines of having to do something with his mom, while I could hear some of his other friends playing videogames in the background.

Didn't do anything aside from dinners with family for a good 10-15 years after that. Made birthdays a depressing time. That stuff burns you deep.
 

senahorse

Member
Before the Internet this may have not happened, great outcome for a shitty situation. But c'mon parents of the 16, 6 bloody years old.
 

erawsd

Member
My wife is a special ed. teacher, she's had a hard time just to get a few of her autistic kids to get to go on field trips with the other classes. It's always a battle. A lot of the teachers of the "normal" kids don't want to have to deal with them. It's ridiculous and sad.

Its sad but not ridiculous. The truth is that field trips are already extremely stressful for teachers. Its unfair to add to that by having them watch children who they don't know and with special needs, especially autistic children who are much more susceptible to distress in an unfamiliar location with tons of strangers.

Special needs children really should have their own handlers for field trips.
 

forms

Member
From the perspective of a parent, at first I would be devastated if something like this happened. I am so happy their community pulled together on this one.
 

Amalthea

Banned
Sometimes I think it's not the people who buy toys and watch cartoons as adults who are stuck in their childhood but those who are complete sociopathic egoists with a tendency to open sadism against others. That fits a certain childish behavior much better than just being into infantile things.
 
Sometimes I think it's not the people who buy toys and watch cartoons as adults who are stuck in their childhood but those who are complete sociopathic egoists with a tendency to open sadism against others. That fits a certain childish behavior much better than just being into infantile things.
Who are you talking about? The parents of the kids who didn't come? "Sociopathic egoists"? What?
 

Sinfamy

Member
Who invites the whole class?
Not even the "cool" kids do that, its like begging to be disappointed.
You invite the friends you do know personally or celebrate with your family.

Classmates could have simply not went because they didn't know the kid nor ever spoke to him.
 

Amalthea

Banned
Who are you talking about? The parents of the kids who didn't come? "Sociopathic egoists"? What?
It's a general observation how the cruelty of kids seems to cause much more damage if they don't grow out of it when they become adults.

Like when certain people need to make somebody's life worse just because they already have trouble. Like to pile onto it just because.

Kids will never learn that way that it's not okay to grow up with that "No you're stupid and different, go away or I'll hit you!"-additude.
 
It's a general observation how the cruelty of kids seems to cause much more damage if they don't grow out of it when they become adults.

Like when certain people need to make somebody's life worse just because they already have trouble. Like to pile onto it just because.

Kids will never learn that way that it's not okay to grow up with that "No you're stupid and different, go away or I'll hit you!"-additude.
OK, but what are you implying? That the parents were being cruel by not taking their kids to the party? That the kids were being cruel by not going? That the kids were cruel to the birthday boy in some other way?

I don't disagree with what you're saying in general, but I'm struggling to see how it relates to this story.
 

aliengmr

Member
It's a general observation how the cruelty of kids seems to cause much more damage if they don't grow out of it when they become adults.

Like when certain people need to make somebody's life worse just because they already have trouble. Like to pile onto it just because.

Kids will never learn that way that it's not okay to grow up with that "No you're stupid and different, go away or I'll hit you!"-additude.

Objection!! Facts not in evidence.

Seriously, beyond the child being sad that nobody showed up to his birthday and the community helping out, the reasons for the "no shows" are completely unknown.

People are reaching for the "parents of 16 kids around the age of 6, decided to be cruel to an autistic child" notion a bit too quick.

These are 5 and 6 year olds, people, the parents would not just drop them off. That means you got to stay there.

Listen, totally sad story with warm ending, but lets stop short of labeling the parents of those 16 kids cruel, heartless swine without one single shred of proof.
 

Symphonia

Banned
Well, think of how many birthday parties for kids there are every day.
And think just how many of those parties the same kids are being invited to. My daughter is invited to at least one party a week. It's getting beyond ridiculous. The cost alone is enough to put someone off. One party is going to cost you, a party a week could all but bankrupt someone. It's stuff like this you have to factor in to the equation, before jumping on the 'w0mg autism' bandwagon.
 

RulkezX

Member
This is why I take my son to every birthday he's invited too. I don't want to ruin some kids birthday.

I take mine to everyone he gets invited to because it's important for social development, all the other parents are the same.

The kids all usually come even when it's someone they don't play with day to day. The patents in the OP are the assholes as it's them that's decided they didn't want to take them for whatever reason.

These are 5 and 6 year olds, people, the parents would not just drop them off. That means you got to stay there.

Not even remotely true in my experience. Kids are left all the time at the parties my boys go to.
 
I have to take my sister to all the birthday parties she's invited to, and theres been a few where theres just herself, the birthday child, and maybe one other kid, and its super awkward. Lot of cake going begging though.
 

Teknoman

Member
I wouldn't necessarily say on purpose, but maybe some parents didn't want to take their kid to the "autistic kids place." It happens.

Worrying about this sort of thing (no one showing up) is why I never really threw birthday parties/invited people for my birthday. I got used to it just being family members as sad as that sounds.

Wouldnt he be in a special needs class anyone though? So wouldnt the majority of his classmates have some form of autism anyway?

On that note, I dont think i've ever run into anyone who thought autism was contagious.
 
Objection!! Facts not in evidence.

Seriously, beyond the child being sad that nobody showed up to his birthday and the community helping out, the reasons for the "no shows" are completely unknown.

People are reaching for the "parents of 16 kids around the age of 6, decided to be cruel to an autistic child" notion a bit too quick.

These are 5 and 6 year olds, people, the parents would not just drop them off. That means you got to stay there.

Listen, totally sad story with warm ending, but lets stop short of labeling the parents of those 16 kids cruel, heartless swine without one single shred of proof.

Do you know anyone that has autism?

It's rather ridiculous how autism still has the same fear it did when it was first discovered. Hell, people still think that it is contagious.
 

Joni

Member
Wouldnt he be in a special needs class anyone though? So wouldnt the majority of his classmates have some form of autism anyway?

On that note, I dont think i've ever run into anyone who thought autism was contagious.

I believe current childcare standards are to keep autistic kids in normal classes as long as possible to help with their development.
 

C4Lukins

Junior Member
I remember a story about my older brother. He went to a going away party for a fellow 8 year old. Going away meaning death. He and my father were the only ones to show up. The world can really kick your teeth in sometimes.
 

Aiii

So not worth it
Do you know anyone that has autism?

It's rather ridiculous how autism still has the same fear it did when it was first discovered. Hell, people still think that it is contagious.

Do you?

Autism, depending on the type and severity, can make it very hard for this kid to make and have friends. They don't necessarily have to be at odds with the kid, but I can surely imagine the kid having a hard time making friends and the 6-year-olds having a hard time befriending a autistic kid. Not out of cruelty, or "fear that they might catch it." But simply because the kid might not be approachable, friendly, or anything.

Through no fault of the autistic kid: the kid could be aggressive to the other kids, or he could maybe just not talk to any of them at all unless it's under very specific conditions.

Point being, befriending or staying friends with an autistic person is pretty fucking hard, it's hard for me as an adult to have even a remotely intimate relationship with my own brother. Still. And we're in our 30s by now. For a 6-year-old? Impossible, I'd say.

Do they intent cruelty by not wanting to go to their classmates birthday party? Probably not, they most likely just don't have any kind of relationship with the kid. He's probably a quiet one, maybe a weird one, or even an aggressive one. Are the parents cruel? Maybe they don't know he's autistic at all, and if they do, is that a reason to force your kid to go to the party? Did they even know nobody was showing up, or did they assume the kid would probably have friends that would show up and as such not require a kid that wasn't a friend to show up instead.

Blaming the parents or their kids for cruelty for not showing up to a party is just not fair. Autists are hard to befriend, impossible to relate to (unless you have experience relating to one, and even then their behaviours and thought processes are next-to-impossible to predict) and certainly you can't expect a 6-year-old to have that ability. So can you blame the parents or the kids for not going to a birthday party of a kid they probably barely know and haven't befriended? I don't think so.

That said, I'm happy the kid has this birthday to look back to, that's a lovely thing for the community to do for him.
 

DarkFlow

Banned
Sometimes I think it's not the people who buy toys and watch cartoons as adults who are stuck in their childhood but those who are complete sociopathic egoists with a tendency to open sadism against others. That fits a certain childish behavior much better than just being into infantile things.

8vyssam.gif
 

MrBadger

Member
It's shitty of the parents to not take their kids to parties. I'm happy the story had a happy ending, but it still must have been horrible for the kid.
 
A great lesson that this kid will eventually learn is that you don't need a lot of people to come to your birthday to have a good time.

Sometimes I think it's not the people who buy toys and watch cartoons as adults who are stuck in their childhood but those who are complete sociopathic egoists with a tendency to open sadism against others. That fits a certain childish behavior much better than just being into infantile things.

I can tell exactly what you're saying and you're 100% right.

It's more socially unacceptable to like cartoons, certain games or toys as an adult: "oh look how weird or childish that person is" or even socially unacceptable to have a childlike wonder about the world and not be a cynical asshole all the time.

But it's not as socially unacceptable, or indeed you could it's just outright tolerated, that people behave like "sociopathic egoists" as you term them well past childhood, as if they never learned the lessons at the young age about how to behave correctly when interacting with other humans.
 
I can tell exactly what you're saying and you're 100% right.

It's more socially unacceptable to like cartoons, certain games or toys as an adult: "oh look how weird or childish that person is" or even socially unacceptable to have a childlike wonder about the world and not be a cynical asshole all the time.

But it's not as socially unacceptable, or indeed you could it's just outright tolerated, that people behave like "sociopathic egoists" as you term them well past childhood, as if they never learned the lessons at the young age about how to behave correctly when interacting with other humans.
lol, fantastic, you've successfully paraphrased the post you quoted, well done.

What's any of that got to do with this thread? Who are the "sociopathic egoists" in question?
 
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