Stereogatari
Banned
Now THAT is a mystery I cannot unravel
Perhaps she is relating to the kids not going to the birthday party with that?
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6-year-old autistic boy throws birthday party - none of his classmates show up :(
- Thread starter RBH
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Now THAT is a mystery I cannot unravel
Perhaps she is relating to the kids not going to the birthday party with that?
We however don't know why the kids weren't there. Some of the parents might have been shitty. Others might have had valid excuses, some kids might just not have been interested in going, ...
SpaceShark
Member
The thing is, there are so many posts ITT taking about the parents of the kids who didn't go, as if this situation was somehow their fault. It's completely ridiculous.Now THAT is a mystery I cannot unravel
It was an unfortunate situation, which had a happy ending, but that's not enough for some, who then have to find a bad guy in the story.
Unless the parents' RSVPd then didn't turn up at the last minute (which would be a bit rude), it's no one's "fault". It's an unfortunate thing that happened, but the community's generosity turned it into a positive. There's no "bad guy".
Stereogatari
Banned
That I agree with. On paper it can always look worse than it is.
Let's say none of the parents replied, perhaps that's because their own kids didn't want to go (what if they're not even good friends with the kid?). That's not anyones fault and is just the way it is, a shame for the Autistic kid, but guilt tripping people for not going starts to get a little hysterical.
User 479360
Banned
This is an amazing story. Good on the community for saving the kid's big day.
It's odd that sixteen kids failed to show up, though.
It's odd that sixteen kids failed to show up, though.
bengraven
Member
Hits close to home. Really painful to read about. I have an autistic six year old son, doesn't really get along with a lot of kids in his class and we live 2 hours from St. Cloud (my wife grew up there) so it literally "hits close to home". I can think of at least two who would show up, though, just because they're moms are friends with my wife, but a lot of kids think my son is "weird" and "not funny but he always tries to be".
Thankfully my kid has the world's most positive attitude and he wouldn't even care if we had 15 empty seats, as long as there's cake and presents (something Minecraft or PvZ related) and his closest friends were there.
Thankfully my kid has the world's most positive attitude and he wouldn't even care if we had 15 empty seats, as long as there's cake and presents (something Minecraft or PvZ related) and his closest friends were there.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
I have a brother with Aspergers and this kils me
Jag
Member
My son doesn't have a lot of friends so we don't do a Bday party for this exact reason. The last few years we drive to Orlando Universal/Disney for a long Bday weekend dedicated to him instead.
Oh and at least the cops found a good use for their own fancy toys as well. Good for them.
Oh and at least the cops found a good use for their own fancy toys as well. Good for them.
Zen_Arcade
Banned
I don't see why the parents are assholes for not making their kids go to the party. Maybe their children don't like the kid. I wasn't forced to go to every party I was invited to when I was a child.
MisterR
Member
It really, really sucks. I hate it for the kid, but I doubt very seriously that it was coordinated. The parents probably asked their kids are you friends with this kid, they said not really and the parents decided to skip this one. When you have kids this age, you are constantly being invited to birthday parties and you sometimes have stuff to do and skip ones if they aren't really close friends. It's conceivable that he doesn't have a ton of close friends in his class and maybe the ones he do were just unable to make it.
A guy I used to know invited me to his 18 out of the blue a long time ago. I hadn't seen him in years and didn't really get on. We'd hung around a little before we were teens and our mothers used to be friends.
I later heard he'd rented out a hall, a DJ and was in a full tux and no one showed up. Felt bad for him.
I later heard he'd rented out a hall, a DJ and was in a full tux and no one showed up. Felt bad for him.
DragonSworne
Banned
Cool, now do this for the poor inner city kids.
RandyBobandy
Banned
Pretty much. Maybe he just has no friends and invited everyone from the class anyway. I wouldn't go to a party of someone I wasn't friends with
Edvardelis
Member
I had a terrible time in elementary school and was hated by nearly everyone in my class. If my parents had done the same thing, no one would have shown up for me either.
The difference between me and him is that I was aware of the situation, knew no one would show up, and would have told my parents not to bother.
(My parents were utterly clueless when it came to my social issues growing up.)
The difference between me and him is that I was aware of the situation, knew no one would show up, and would have told my parents not to bother.
(My parents were utterly clueless when it came to my social issues growing up.)
TheContact
Member
Wooooot feel good story of the week. Thanks for the post
Amory
Member
Or maybe his classmates just don't like the kid if some of his behaviors from the autism come off as mean or crazy, which they probably do.
Still deserves to have people at his party though...
I wonder if he's going to go back to that same elementary school class. I can't imagine having to deal with those kids after no one in a class of 16 showed up to my birthday party. My older sister has autism but isn't high-functioning. Everyone loves her when they meet her and she's never had problems like this, so I can't imagine. It would break my heart if this ever happened. Literally the only fist fight I've ever been in was with someone who bullied her repeatedly.
TheExecutive
Member
I have a special needs kiddo and its a constant fear and concern about involvement and social acceptance of your child. One of the toughest things to swallow as a parent of a special needs kid. Glad this turned out well.
This story reminds me of my 5th grade class. There was one boy who had absolutely no friends. I don't think he was autistic, but he was was not liked for whatever reason. He wasn't cool, he was chunky, etc. I was okay with him but I wasn't friends with him. I didn't think he was funny and he tried too hard. But I was never mean to him.
When his birthday came up, he invited everyone in class. The kids I knew told him they were going before hand. Since they said they were going, I decided to go too. On the day of his party at his house, I was the only kid who showed up. The entire house was decorated from top to bottom and the only people who were there were the boy, his parents and myself. I could tell he was sad and disappointed. But he and his parents put on their best happy face and tried to entertain me, since I was the only guest there. I was stuck there for about 3-4 hours because my parents dropped me off. I felt so awkward. His mom and dad seemed like really good people so I tried my best to have fun alongside.
One day when the kid wasn't there, our teacher had admonished the entire classroom for picking on him. She couldn't understand why everyone hated him so much. I felt bad about it but I was surprised at how everyone else wasn't.
When his birthday came up, he invited everyone in class. The kids I knew told him they were going before hand. Since they said they were going, I decided to go too. On the day of his party at his house, I was the only kid who showed up. The entire house was decorated from top to bottom and the only people who were there were the boy, his parents and myself. I could tell he was sad and disappointed. But he and his parents put on their best happy face and tried to entertain me, since I was the only guest there. I was stuck there for about 3-4 hours because my parents dropped me off. I felt so awkward. His mom and dad seemed like really good people so I tried my best to have fun alongside.
One day when the kid wasn't there, our teacher had admonished the entire classroom for picking on him. She couldn't understand why everyone hated him so much. I felt bad about it but I was surprised at how everyone else wasn't.
Tinfoilhatsron
Banned
10 and 11 year olds are way meaner than 6 year olds.
Isn't this the whole reason to request RSVP's? That way you know how many of the kids you invited will probably show up. When none of them RSVP weeks prior to the party you set up the kids expectations properly so they aren't let down the day of.
That said, at that age, even as a parent, why are you going to turn down free food/cake? Sure you should buy a present, but you still get an easy afternoon of entertainment for your kid and you can eat some pizza.
That said, at that age, even as a parent, why are you going to turn down free food/cake? Sure you should buy a present, but you still get an easy afternoon of entertainment for your kid and you can eat some pizza.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
I got little ones and it would break my heart if this happened to them but I want to add something.
I don't know how this kid's school works, but some schools have a sped class and a gen ed class. The special ed class is where the kids with disabilities spend most of their day, the general education class they'll probably spend like an hour out of the day with the help of a school aide. Most of the time kids with special needs are loved by their peers at the older levels but ehhhhh, 6 year olds kinda let's me think that the little ones don't have the stronger bonding and personality traits like the older kids.
I want to say that they got the invites but don't see him as a "classmate" at that level since he may not be around them all day like the rest of their peers.
Still, glad the story has a happy ending.
Edit: should add I am going from the perspective of the sped kid with the school day breakdown.
I don't know how this kid's school works, but some schools have a sped class and a gen ed class. The special ed class is where the kids with disabilities spend most of their day, the general education class they'll probably spend like an hour out of the day with the help of a school aide. Most of the time kids with special needs are loved by their peers at the older levels but ehhhhh, 6 year olds kinda let's me think that the little ones don't have the stronger bonding and personality traits like the older kids.
I want to say that they got the invites but don't see him as a "classmate" at that level since he may not be around them all day like the rest of their peers.
Still, glad the story has a happy ending.
Edit: should add I am going from the perspective of the sped kid with the school day breakdown.
Horsemama1956
Member
I wasn't aware kids were required to attend a birthday parties? Just because a kid has Autism, I'm not going to send my kids there unless they actually want to go. it would be the same with a kid who didn't have Autism..
The posts insulting the parents make absolutely no sense to me. If the kids or parents didn't want to go, then they don't have to go. Unless some new information comes out that they disparaged the kid because of his disability, their choice to not go doesn't make any of them assholes.
His class mates are 6 year old kids so they don't know better and I don't fault them for anything. An autistic kid is so different for them.
I don't know if the parents of the other kids should have sent their kids to the party. If the kids don't want to, it is kind of weird to push them to go. On the other hand, you could do it to teach your kid to do something good for someone else.
I don't know if the parents of the other kids should have sent their kids to the party. If the kids don't want to, it is kind of weird to push them to go. On the other hand, you could do it to teach your kid to do something good for someone else.
At the risk of sounding like an asshole, I don't understand what him being autistic has to do with anything other than making for a much sadder story. Would it even be a story at all if he wasn't? Would the sheriffs dept still have gone out of their way?
Also i'm not very clear about why the kids mom, while at her son's birthday party, would post on facebook about how crappy the party is being that no one showed up. Like, who was she talking to? What was the intention? Was she passive aggressively trying to gain the attention of the parents to guilt them? I'm not immediately seeing the rationale behind posting on facebook while actively at the party of your saddened child. Granted it'd only take a handful of seconds but still, what was the intent. Seems like to gain some kind of sympathy
Also i'm not very clear about why the kids mom, while at her son's birthday party, would post on facebook about how crappy the party is being that no one showed up. Like, who was she talking to? What was the intention? Was she passive aggressively trying to gain the attention of the parents to guilt them? I'm not immediately seeing the rationale behind posting on facebook while actively at the party of your saddened child. Granted it'd only take a handful of seconds but still, what was the intent. Seems like to gain some kind of sympathy
Yup, me too buddy
Do you never feel the need to get something off your chest by telling it somebody? Facebook is a way to tell other people stuff to get things of your chest.
I know I do. OT is full of people wanting to get something off their chest.
liliththepale
Banned
I want to hear a compelling argument for why it's shameful to not take your kid to another kid's birthday party if you haven't already committed to doing so (which there is no indication of).
I feel bad for people with autism, but that doesn't mean people should be forced to be your friend.
Tinfoilhatsron
Banned
Which makes the point so:
The parents of the 6 year olds refused to accept. I'd be skeptical if I didn't know the vastness of human stupidity. They probably thought austim spreads or something stupid like that. What's with the victim blaming? If you refuse kindly, then you can refuse. Sounds like they didn't even respond. Which is terrible IMO. Also, it sounds like HIS friends might have come if they knew.(whether we know it to be true is in question)
The way the story us written is almost if none of the parents sent any regrets saying they would not attend.
They should have been a bit more responsible. Also, it would be devestating for any six year old to not have people attend their birthday party, autistic or not.
I suppose I feel far more empathy for the situation that some others because I know how it feels to be ignored by a class like this.
of course but i don't see why you'd vent to the whole world at that very moment. It would seem more logical if she either 1) vented in the moment directly to a family member or close friend or 2) vented on facebook afterwards once the party was over.
Putting up a facebook post while the party is going on seems like an attempt to gain sympathy or shame/gain attention of the people that didn't show
DiipuSurotu
Banned
Green Wiggly
Member
I just got something in my eye...probably dust or something...
DietRob
i've been begging for over 5 years.
This happened to me too as a kid once. I think I was 8 I had just started a new school a few weeks prior so I invited my whole class to my birthday party and nobody showed up. It was devastating especially going back to school that following Monday knowing I had to socialize with the kids that didn't want anything to do with me. This was almost 30 years ago so face book or even the internet for that matter wasn't a thing.
It's great that the community rallied around this kid but he's still going to have to walk back into that classroom of kids that didn't want to come to his party. Just like I did.
It's great that the community rallied around this kid but he's still going to have to walk back into that classroom of kids that didn't want to come to his party. Just like I did.
BobTheFork
Member
The contrast from the first picture to him in the fireman hat is amazing.
Fenderputty
Banned
All the people saying the parents and children aren't obligated to go need to understand this. They aren't obligated, but unless they all had more important things to go to that day, they probably should have gone if they're decent and understand empathy.
Even as an adult I try and make every party I'm invited to.
Because this is OT GAF, and being outraged is all the rage.
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