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[GavinUK86]

http://mashable.com/2015/03/12/banana-spider-erection-death/?utm_cid=mash-com-Tw-main-link

Maria Layton, a mother from South Wales in the UK, had a much worse experience than whatever bruised apples you've complained about. Layton became distressed when she grabbed a quick snack for her 6-year-old daughter, and noticed peculiar spots on bananas that her husband had brought home from supermarket chain Tesco. As it turns out, the fruits were infested with a Brazilian wandering spider and spider eggs.

The Brazilian wandering spider is part of the genus Phoneutria, which is — fittingly — Greek for murderess. The spider's bite can cause painful erections that last approximately four hours, and can lead to impotence if it doesn't kill you first. Scientists are currently researching the venom as a potential remedy for erectile dysfunction.

 

[nhlducks35]

Jesus fucking christ

 

[FullMetaltech]

It had to be a brazilian spider.

 

[Jarrod38]

Time to nuke the world now.

 

[super-famicom]

I just ate a banana. Thank goodness it was from Trader Joe's.

 

[truly101]

That venom is hardcore.

 

[Shmeagatory94]

Leaving this thread now.

 

[Floridian]

No thanks.

 

[Nokagi]

Great.. spiders are going for our dicks now.

 

[Crayons]

There was a little old lady, who was walking down the road
She was struggling with spiders from Tesco

 

[davepoobond]

Sounds like a hard banana to eat

 

[Timeaisis]

Welp

 

[Monocle]

Jesus fucking christ

http://www.independent.co.uk/incoming/article8920935.ece/alternates/w620/spider.jpg

Thanks for that.

 

[Platy]

...what happens if bites a woman ?

 

[Zoned]

Before things get dirty, I'm outta here. Fuck this thread.

 

[adj_noun]

What kind of evolutionary path demands death by dick?

 

[HUELEN10]

You know what's ironic right?

You guys do know how spiders work, right?

They literally move around on 8 throbbing boners; look it up!

 

[Neverfade]

Well, bananas are cheaper than Viagra.

 

[televator]

This is spider hate I can support. A spider that fucks up your dick. Fuck that.

 

[Bare Grills]

4 hour boners you say?

 

[Volimar]

If you get impotence from being bitten, and then get bitten again weeks later, what happens?

 

[davepoobond]

...what happens if bites a woman ?

They grow a penis and have a 4 hour boner

 

[Saint Gregory]

Great.. spiders are going for our dicks now.

Hey, at least you can go out with a bang.

 

[AlfredX1990]

...what happens if bites a woman ?

Ever heard of futanari?

 

[Dennis]

4-hour bananas? Sign me up! I love bananas!

 

[GavinUK86]

...what happens if bites a woman ?

You squirt for 4 hours then die.

 

[Daffy Duck]

Every little helps.

 

[Dishwalla]

Is that a banana in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

 

[Saint Gregory]

You know what's ironic right?

You guys do know how spiders work, right?

They literally move around on 8 throbbing boners; look it up!

You saw this in Hentai didn't you?

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Yes please

 

[rtcn63]

Hidetaka Miyazaki just got an idea for the first Bloodborne DLC.

 

[HUELEN10]

You saw this in Hentai didn't you?

No, I just watched Bill Nye.

 

[Majine]

If you get bitten atleast you.... Die Hard.

YEEAAAAh.

 

[goldsoundz]

Jesus fucking christ

Fuck man. Why did you post that?

 

[Sub_Level]

 

[Damaniel]

Impotence? Raging 4 hour boners?

Sign me up! I don't want kids, so these spiders would be doing me a favor.

(Well, except for the whole painful part.)

 

[Brazil]

Of course, it's the Brazilian spider that gives you a boner.

Of course.

 

[Octavianus]

Spiders are both fascinating and awesome.

 

[Seanspeed]

Ah fuck.

AH fuck.

I just pulled my feet off the ground.

 

[ShadowKingpin]

No, I just watched Bill Nye.

Bill Nye the Hentai Guy.

 

[Kazuhira]

A 4 hours boner and then sudden death? this is the first thing that came to my mind.

 

[SnakeSlashRO]

Watch when we find someone somewhere smuggling these to sell to victims of infidelity

 

[bengraven]

Wonder how many people will get this.

 

[Borgnine]

A beautiful bunch o' ripe banana!

 

[GavinUK86]

Wonder how many people will get this.

Rant lol.

 

[Toxi]

Speaking as someone who loves spiders and wouldn't blink at seeing a black widow, Brazilian wandering spiders are fucking terrifying. They're infamously quick to bite, and getting bitten is supposed to be one of the most painful experiences imaginable.

 

[GoodCoffeeJoey]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_VD5AfLMKA

Close enough.

 

[Sub_Level]

Ah fuck.

AH fuck.

I just pulled my feet off the ground.

But you see, that's the thing.

It's on your upper back.

 

[More Fun To Compute]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXX3csNPC-U

 

[Bare Grills]

This one kind looks like a lizard or something