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Accepting your lot in life

Hudo

Hudo

Member
Aesius said:
As humans we are hardwired to want more and to never be truly satisfied with anything. We might achieve brief satisfaction after a big promotion or personal accomplishment, but for the most part, we go back to baseline pretty quickly.

Of course, there are ways to fall below baseline. Being truly poor, being lonely, being unhealthy, losing a sense of purpose, etc. But how many rich, famous, and ultra successful people have only the first box checked? They aren't poor, great, but the extra money over a certain point has diminishing returns. They still want even more money, and in return for chasing it, their relationships with their friends and family suffer, they become unhealthy, and they lose sight of what they're chasing (because simply "acquire more money" when your needs are already met is a hollow goal).
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EviLore said:
Dostoevsky, Notes From Underground
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nerds.
 
Grildon Tundy

Grildon Tundy

Member
I've always been mostly content with what's in front of me. Not doing productive things because I'm chasing an end goal but because I enjoy the process.

Sometimes the world makes me feel like I'm a loser for that reason. But I'm with the Buddhists on this one: Desire is suffering. Contentment can only be found within
 
Celcius

Celcius

°Temp. member
I’ll also add that sometimes goals become unattainable not because a person lacks the drive or ambition, but maybe an athlete suffers an injury for example. Or maybe a person’s health goes downhill.

But true… being grateful for what you have and have achieved in life is important.
 
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Liljagare

Liljagare

Member
So many goals are artificial too.

Stop once in a while and smell the god damn roses. It's free and hits so many feel good spots in your body it's hard to explain.
 
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Nydius

Nydius

Gold Member
Took me a long time to accept that things hadn't turned out the way I hoped. But eventually I came to the realization that it was pointless to regret things that were out of my control. There was no way I could have ever known that the person I married 22 years ago would develop debilitating RA that would impact both of our lives. No way I could have known 20 years ago that I'd develop inflammatory bowel disease, because it didn't run in the family so it was never even a thought.

Do I wish we could do more? Sure, but I also understand and have come to accept the limitations of why we cannot.
 
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NeoIkaruGAF

NeoIkaruGAF

Gold Member
I have carved a good lot for myself and don’t really dream about having much more. I’m just pretty scared I may lose what I have. And while I am quite satisfied with what I have, I tend to never be fully satisfied with what I am and what I achieve. I always think I could do more, I could do better, I could be better. Most of the times I’ve been truly satisfied with something I’d done and felt on top of the world, life gave me a cold shower real quick.
 
Edmund

Edmund

is waiting for Starfield 7
I quit my bank/stock broking job to be a piano teacher, film actor and musical theatre actor. Sure I don't make billions but I'm loving my job so much and I'm pretty damn good at all 3 of them.

That is worth more than anything.



I don't accept things. I change things. It started when I decided to follow my heart and do what i really want to do and then I give it my 100%.

I am an extremely caring and kind teacher who is funny asf and when it comes to acting, I'm really serious and dedicated.
 
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Ownage

Ownage

Member
Celcius said:
No matter how hard we work, most of us won’t become billionaires. No matter hard much we train, most of us won’t make it to the NBA. Most car enthusiasts will never sit in a Bugatti Veyron, let alone ever own one. Many people want to make a difference in the world but the fact is that most of us probably won’t be remembered 200 years from now for inventing a cancer cure.

When we’re younger we’re told that if we work hard then we can do anything or be anything we want to, but for various reasons eventually everyone hits limits in life.

Was this a hard thing for you to accept? Do you believe that you really can achieve anything if you put your mind to it? Are you in the middle of a mid-life crisis right now? I would be curious to hear GAF’s thoughts on coming to terms with what you can and can’t do in life.
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The key to enlightenment is to not care, but to practice mindfulness towards your surroundings.
 
John Marston

John Marston

GAF's very own treasure goblin
sedg87 said:
Never had dreams or ambitions. 35 and I don't have a career, any friends, a partner or anything of note. And ya know, I don't really give a fuck.
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I started loving myself when I let go of my dreams and ambitions.

It's the best advice I ever gave myself.

I can then focus on loving my current job of 17 years, eating well and sleeping like a baby on heroin.

I have loved, I have shared, I have compromised but my remaining years are all about ME 😃

Just like sedg87 sedg87 I don't give a fuck with a smile 🙂
 
bitbydeath

bitbydeath

Gold Member
images


Keep climbing GAF!
 
ÆMNE22A!C

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
I'm still in the process of accepting the cards I've been dealt. It's going better as I'm getting older.
I'm very grateful for many in a external context

In an internal way I'm grateful for one of the cards I've been dealt. The one that gives me a sense of hope that all will be well if I put in the work.
 
IlGialloMondadori

IlGialloMondadori

Member
E-Cat said:
There's no regret in trying your best and failing. My biggest regret is that I never tried, even though I am very talented.
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Not trying to be a dick, but how do you know you’re very talented if you’ve never been tried and tested? IMO talent is kind of a nothing word. Hard work and execution are basically all of it.

I’m someone who didn’t try at anything until I was older.
 
E-Cat

E-Cat

Member
IlGialloMondadori said:
Not trying to be a dick, but how do you know you’re very talented if you’ve never been tried and tested? IMO talent is kind of a nothing word.
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Excelling at school without really trying? I was in the 95th+ percentile in six subjects in my matriculation exams (kinda comparable to SATs in the US). I have an IQ of 135 and am a member of Mensa. Also exceptionally talented musically, I can play anything by ear on the piano. I'm not saying I'm super brilliant or anything, but intelligent enough that I could've done whatever I wanted. Just lacked the drive at the time.
IlGialloMondadori said:
Hard work and execution are basically all of it.
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This is very true, yes -- with the exception of some very dim individuals, there's basically nothing valuable you can do if your base fluid IQ falls below a certain threshold.
 
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Hudo

Hudo

Member
EviLore said:
Mensa is for insecure people who haven’t accomplished anything. Throw your membership card in the trash and apply yourself.
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Can confirm. Had a colleague who was a Mensa member. Dude couldn't finish his PhD mainly because he couldn't handle constructive criticism and was unpleasant to be around in general, which was especially an issue when he was supposed to give lectures to undergrads, where you are supposed to teach them in such a way that they hopefully learn something not talk down to them and confront them with like higher mathematical concepts from the get-go.
 
IlGialloMondadori

IlGialloMondadori

Member
E-Cat said:
Excelling at school without really trying? I was in the 95th+ percentile in six subjects in my matriculation exams (kinda comparable to SATs in the US). I have an IQ of 135 and am a member of Mensa. Also exceptionally talented musically, I can play anything by ear on the piano. I'm not saying I'm super brilliant or anything, but intelligent enough that I could've done whatever I wanted. Just lacked the drive at the time.

This is very true, yes -- with the exception of some very dim individuals, there's basically nothing valuable you can do if your base fluid IQ falls below a certain threshold.
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Yeah man, seems like you know what's up. It is what it is, and man, it's never too late, just get on it and do what you wanna do for YOU, don't worry about anything else. Then accept it all, failures and successes as they come.
 
mxbison

mxbison

Member
None of that really matters.

Humans are never satisfied, it is what it is. Why do you think billionaires are obsessed with making even more money? Or do dumb shit like travel to the bottom of the ocean?

If you solve a problem the next will come up, and that's actually a good thing because it keeps you going. You need up's and down's in life, the worst thing that can happen is emptiness. Depressed people usually don't feel bad, they feel empty.

Just enjoy the ride, appreciate the small things, and stop worrying so much about what you don't have.
 
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StreetsofBeige

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
EviLore said:
Mensa is for insecure people who haven’t accomplished anything. Throw your membership card in the trash and apply yourself.
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In school I did pretty well and always cared about my grades, but even then I don’t think anyone cared so much they arrived to be a Mensa member. Who cares.

If life, everybody knows what they are good at and what they need help with. And basically nothing in life even resembles an IQ test unless someone in life actually bumps into situations that involve pattern recognition and knowing which family member is Sally’s grandmother’s fraternal twin adopted cousin.

It gets to a point you set aside high stuff like this and just love life doing things you know how and asking for help for other things. If the guy fixing my washer and dryer is a high school drop out with an IQ of 88 who cares as long as he can fix it. I’d rather he do it than a Mensa guy with a 200 IQ whose has never fixed anything.

I’m have both a bachelors and grad degree. Who cares. Most people don’t even know that unless somehow people are talking university and it gets brought up. My old boss 20 years had a frad degree too. I asked why she never tells anyone and she said it doesn’t really matter. I followed her advice and like it this way.

Then you got the arrogant types who like to tell the world they are a Harvard alumni from fraternity house alpha beta and the school mascot are the Condor Carnivores from the Big 10 division etc… like it’s a badge of honour. Losers.

I find you get a lot of this shit when I’m on conference call with Americans. It’s like half the people on call are Al Bundy living off their college days. The rest of us from the Toronto office are like WTF are these people wasting time talking about? The purpose of introductions is to say your name and what job function you do so people have an idea what you do. Not give a laundry list of background education, what your fav school mascot is etc… weird. No wonder these introduction segments take 15 minutes alone.
 
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J

JimmyRustler

Member
The biggest realization I had is that even reaching all the lofty goals is not all that fullfilling. It’s all smoke and mirrors.

Just look at how widespread drug use among the upper circles. It’s insane. Those people should be happy, living their live. Instead it seems everyone is going to the shrink and dead inside.

Accept live for what it is. Don’t be a bum and find a job with with you can live comfortably without having to fear goin broke if something happens. Build a good social circle around you with people you care about. Enjoy life.
 
West Texas CEO

West Texas CEO

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
As long as you have a decent chode, you should always be content with life. :messenger_spock:
 
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StreetsofBeige

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
JimmyRustler said:
The biggest realization I had is that even reaching all the lofty goals is not all that fullfilling. It’s all smoke and mirrors.

Just look at how widespread drug use among the upper circles. It’s insane. Those people should be happy, living their live. Instead it seems everyone is going to the shrink and dead inside.

Accept live for what it is. Don’t be a bum and find a job with with you can live comfortably without having to fear goin broke if something happens. Build a good social circle around you with people you care about. Enjoy life.
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Yup.

Ive never done drugs and never will. Not even weed or ectacsy pills. I dont know any hard druggies.... at least not that I've ever seen or heard about. But I got friends who do weed going back to university or during the clubbing days they'd pop pills. I never did that shit, but good thing is they are all in good shape and they're still my friends. They never ditched me because I didn't join them.

I've smoked maybe 3 cigarettes my entire life only because other people were doing it and I did one with them. I had no idea what the hell I was even doing.

It's w weird thing because in no situation do I see doing drugs even an important thing to do.

1. You're dirt poor and depressed and need to get through the day without thinking about reality. Well IMO, instead of being comatose on a couch or zoned out in a back alley, if you really want to improve yourself, getting drugged up or bombed on bottles of brandy is the last thing you should be doing.

2. You're rich and have it all. I've heard the reasons.... peer pressure from other richos, or it's safer because the richer you are the better quality drugs you get which arent tainted with fenatyl or something where you drop dead in 10 minutes. I dont know how true that is but it doesn't matter. You'd think millionaires would care more about living life traveling or buying awesome food and cars than being coked up or a meth head. You're already living a high life and you want to be frazzleminded like a street druggie all day? Weird.
 
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EviLore

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
StreetsofBeige said:
I find you get a lot of this shit when I’m on conference call with Americans. It’s like half the people on call are Al Bundy living off their college days. The rest of us from the Toronto office are like WTF are these people wasting time talking about? The purpose of introductions is to say your name and what job function you do so people have an idea what you do. Not give a laundry list of background education, what your fav school mascot is etc… weird. No wonder these introduction segments take 15 minutes alone.
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College is a big deal in the US, different culture. People are also proud about their alma mater since it’s a selective and hierarchical system.
 
Humdinger

Humdinger

Gold Member
I saw this the other day, and I thought he hit the nail on the head. He's talking about "status anxiety."


 
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Synless

Synless

Member
kurisu_1974 said:
81c4efba0a0179d80dd11f872d56bd8a.png
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Did this guy stick to his vision and see it through? Where is he today?

I firmly believe success is in the mindset. Its about recognizing your failures and learning from them, it’s about knowing when others around you want to pull everyone down but themselves and leaving to join those who support and elevate.

If your a loser in life, you chose it.
 
Happosai

Happosai

Hold onto your panties
Celcius said:
No matter how hard we work, most of us won’t become billionaires. No matter hard much we train, most of us won’t make it to the NBA. Most car enthusiasts will never sit in a Bugatti Veyron, let alone ever own one. Many people want to make a difference in the world but the fact is that most of us probably won’t be remembered 200 years from now for inventing a cancer cure.

When we’re younger we’re told that if we work hard then we can do anything or be anything we want to, but for various reasons eventually everyone hits limits in life.

Was this a hard thing for you to accept? Do you believe that you really can achieve anything if you put your mind to it? Are you in the middle of a mid-life crisis right now? I would be curious to hear GAF’s thoughts on coming to terms with what you can and can’t do in life.
Click to expand...
Nothing hard to accept. I've managed to hit moderate success but that doesn't necessarily make me wealthy. This was through hard work, dropping in and out of school to work and after getting married; having a wife who won't let me give up. We don't want to be millionaires or billionaires. I've seen plenty corrupt themselves the moment they have even the slightest raise at work or just given slightly more power. Not much of a popular sports fan and don't have social anxiety...so I'd never like being a celebrity. I can ride a bike or motorcycle and be satisfied just as much as any car I've owned. Cars age and depreciate in value too fast to really be worth the investment for anything more than a point A - B type. I'm not an engineer and make comics in my off time; so I doubt that will cure cancer.

Nothing hard to accept. Maybe for those who haven't matured to adulthood...life is too difficult. Work, settle down, become a mentor, be consistent, organize and prioritize. Be credible.
 
TMONSTER

TMONSTER

Member
I had been moping recently about my life and certain cards ive been dealt and came across a video narrated by an individual living with Cerebral Palsy. Their journey, their daily battles, their unyielding spirit - it served as a powerful reminder that one's perspective can often be clouded by personal trials and tribulations. No matter how challenging we perceive our circumstances to be, there's always someone out there who might view our situation with a longing desire to trade places. It's humbling and sobering, prompting a shift in perspective. In the grand scheme of life, perhaps we are not as ill-fated as we sometimes believe ourselves to be.
 
Winter John

Winter John

Member
"If your a loser in life, you chose it."

I once met a guy in the local shelter who had been a millionaire. You think he chose to end up sitting next to me in a fuckin soup kitchen? No. He didn't. He had a run of bad luck, got in over his head and it all went to shit. When I met him he was strung out on booze and spent his days selling magazines on a street corner. You think he chose that? You think when he was sitting up there in his king of the world office he thought to himself, this is great n all but what I really want to do is be a drunken homeless bum and have some long haired asshole serve me soup?
 
Chiggs

Chiggs

Gold Member
It's hard to digest it, honestly.

I've watched several of my peers go on to be VPs and EVPs at companies despite their glaring/critical flaws. One of these guys even asked me to share proprietary information with him so he could "set up shop" at his new job, meaning he had no creativity or desire to put together his own plan for his new role...just wanted to take what was developed by other people and make it work at the new company.

I've come to the conclusion that:

A) My mouth gets me in trouble
B) I have a hard time NOT calling people on bullshit/lack of work
C) I really hate kissing executive leadership ass

Because of this, I am destined to NOT rise above a certain level at work. Like I mentioned earlier, it's frustrating...especially when you see really terrible people getting to positions of power that set them up for life with juicy stock options and extravagant salaries.

Everything you've heard about the worst people rising to the top at large American corporations is quite true. I realize there are probably exceptions to the rule but man...they are few and far.
 
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StreetsofBeige

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
TMONSTER said:
I had been moping recently about my life and certain cards ive been dealt and came across a video narrated by an individual living with Cerebral Palsy. Their journey, their daily battles, their unyielding spirit - it served as a powerful reminder that one's perspective can often be clouded by personal trials and tribulations. No matter how challenging we perceive our circumstances to be, there's always someone out there who might view our situation with a longing desire to trade places. It's humbling and sobering, prompting a shift in perspective. In the grand scheme of life, perhaps we are not as ill-fated as we sometimes believe ourselves to be.
Click to expand...

It's one of those things with human nature where we're all different. Some people accept issues, some people cant. Why can some dirt poor immigrants still strive for success, but a born and bred local fails and feels like shit?

No doubt social media plays a part of it too. Havent depression and suicides skyrocketed the past 10 or 20 years? Not sure, I thought the rates have been trending up.

I have no proof of this, but I remember gaffers bringing (or maybe a different site I read) where it often comes down to your situation and environment. If your born and raised in a western country where there's haves and have nots, some people cant handle life. On the other hand people living in a poor country where the surroundings, jobs and standard of living are like 3 notches down the ladder the community and family still stay together happy because everyone is kind of in the same boat anyway so who cares. There's not too many BMW drivers eating overpriced food zooming by making the locales feel downtrodden.

The thing you mentioned about trading places, I think that's part of the problem. When some people out there are constantly comparing against other people it can become a mental issue. I'm not talking about improving one's self to something decent. I dont think too many human on Earth wants to live in a dirt hut drinking sewage water. But it gets to a point where if you hit a certain state in life, anyone can just live a modest life till you die. Who gives a shit if a neighbour drives a better car or if some people dress better at the office.

Since I just went to a Jays game lately, it's kind of like walking around the stadium and half the people are wearing slick jerseys, caps etc... My buddies can also dress up in authentic jerseys which are probably $200+ each. What do I wear every time to the game? Either a top that has nothing to do with baseball or I live it up with my big swinging dick Jays Tshirt I bought at Walmart for $12. Who cares.
 
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