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[WyndhamPrice]

I give you "The Karamazov Idea"

This popped up on a few of my friends' Facebook walls. It's solid gold. It's the embodiment of every one of those hilariously bad OK Cupid images with the fedora'd "gentleman" who thinks there are situations where he is entitled to sex.

Take the opening paragraphs:

Women, let me tell you something that your friends and many guys will not. Your tattoos are ugly. We do not like them. We respect you less for them. We think you’re a pawn without a sense of solidarity in a world that pressures you to conform. Even if we’re not conscious of this belief, we hold it. Men who gush about the sexiness of girls with tattoos do this because they are culturally trained to do so. There’s no such thing as a tasteful tattoo. That’s like claiming that you had a tasteful dinner-date at McDonalds. I love my fast-food but let’s not kid ourselves about what we’re doing here.

The hamsterism surrounding tattoos is simply immense. The fact that women with tattoos and piercings are exceptionally easy to conquer sexually with minimal effort always gets contested despite the universal anecdotal evidence to the contrary. What is the objection? Women with tats are “independent,” “thoughtful,” and “interesting.” Hmm. My first three adjectives would be “loose,” “kinky,” and “*likely* diseased (use condoms).” Wassamatta? Not down with some inked skank? You are just some old-fashioned fundamentalist bigot. Well, your brother, Karamazov happens to be old-fashioned at the age of 23

The other articles are just as amazing and insane. He indirectly mentions how he has studied "game" and is a total alpha.

 

[Trojita]

This guy is a misogynist.

99% of tattoos are terrible looking. On males and females.

 

[marrec]

From the blog:

Because it’s where another man left his mark on you.

My SO is getting a full back tattoo done by a woman right now. What the hell does that mean?

 

[Tesseract]

From the blog:



My SO is getting a full back tattoo done by a woman right now. What the hell does that mean?

whoa man

0/0 idk what i'm doing.

 

[Raptomex]

I'm not a big fan of tattoos myself but I don't care if people have them.

 

[User 100115]

Because it’s where another man left his mark on you.

This has to be satire. Tell me this is satire. Please.

 

[Jarmel]

Well, your brother, Karamazov happens to be old-fashioned at the age of 23

Hahaha, I actually kinda like this guy.

 

[marrec]

whoa man

I'm just the guy asking the tough questions.

 

[Tesseract]

I'm just the guy asking the tough questions.

i was trying to be all woman, wo man, whoa man, and stuff. let's pretend it never happened.

 

[KarmaCow]

We think you’re a pawn without a sense of solidarity in a world that pressures you to conform. Even if we’re not conscious of this belief, we hold it. Men who gush about the sexiness of girls with tattoos do this because they are culturally trained to do so.

"Not getting a tattoo because others don't like it is not conforming"

Uh okay.

 

[spiderman123]

My ex gf got a tattoo on her chest....it was her brother's name, who died as a child. SMFH at this man.

 

[wenis]

weeeeeeeeelllll my last couple girls have been covered and I wouldn't call them prudes if ya know what i mean

this guy is a fucking jackass. he'd have to have his tongue so firmly in cheek if this was really satire, like poking out his cheek.

 

[marrec]

i was trying to be all woman, wo man, whoa man, and stuff. let's pretend it never happened.

I went with it in an attempt to cover your shame.

AT LEAST I TRIED.

 

[faceless007]

"universal anecdotal evidence"

 

[WyndhamPrice]

This has to be satire. Tell me this is satire. Please.

There's something in the back of my brain that think this might be the case, but I do kind of like to think that it's just some disgruntled, articulate philosophy major who got rejected his freshman year.

 

[Vermillion]

"Slutty" as they seem, I fucking *love* tramp stamps.

Other tattoos vary.

 

[Deified Data]

I bet this guy would describe himself as an "old soul".

 

[Sobriquet]

You are just some old-fashioned fundamentalist bigot.

 

[marrec]

You are just some old-fashioned fundamentalist bigot.

Listen bucko, this old-fashioned fundamentalist bigot is the age of 23.

 

[catabarez]

My girlfriend has a tattoo, but it's a meaningful one and not very noticeable. So I'm cool with just that one

 

[Pau]

lol at "lower your social value"

You will lower your social value by having one and limit your choice of potential suitors.

Actually, sounds like a good way to weed out the idiots, if you ask me.

 

[Kisaya]

Literally just had a dream of myself covered in tattoos, weird coincidence. It's kinda lame that tattoos have to be "meaningful" to be taken seriously and accepted.

 

[pje122]

And how.

 

[andymcc]

a part of his response to his newfound traffic:

If some woman isn’t crying over her keyboard while showcasing her potent new-age aggression and a beta or omega somewhere around the world doesn’t sit bolt upright and set off on a glorious quest to obtain sex from defending some pudgy skank he’ll never meet, it just ain’t the truth.

this guy is a fucking moron.

 

[Tesseract]

I went with it in an attempt to cover your shame.

AT LEAST I TRIED.

deh shame is deh poison.

 

[Sibylus]

Even if we’re not conscious of this belief, we hold it.

Asshole talks out of his. Quelle surprise.

 

[Vermillion]

Literally just had a dream of myself covered in tattoos. It's kinda lame that tattoos have to be "meaningful" to be taken seriously.

You've been on GAF too much, then. Bleeding effect.

 

[Menelaus]

My ex gf got a tattoo on her chest....it was her brother's name, who died as a child. SMFH at this man.

I would feel guilty every time I played with her boobs.

 

[andymcc]

I would feel guilty every time I played with her boobs.

lmao alright this got me

 

[Vermillion]

I would feel guilty every time I played with her boobs.

lmfaoo

 

[BrightEyedPanic]

Welp. I'm a whore. This guy is obviously an expert on the subject. I wonder how his field studies went.

 

[Tesseract]

inked women are spunky, rad.

 

[SMT]

I'm a whore, according to many women.

 

[marrec]

Welp. I'm a whore. This guy is obviously an expert on the subject. I wonder how his field studies went.

Guy sees lady with Tattoo:

"You will have sex with me?"

He asks awkwardly.

"No, you fucking creep. That neckbeard makes you look like you have balls on your chins, btw."

Later, he gets home and types this blog.

 

[Vermillion]

Guy sees lady with Tattoo:

"You will have sex with me?"

He asks awkwardly.

"No, you fucking creep. That fedora makes you look like a really fat penis, btw."

Later, he gets home and types this blog.

E tu, marrec?

 

[Madness]

This guy is a misogynist.

99% of tattoos are terrible looking. On males and females.

Yup. Tattoos are an instant turn off. I just can't look at anything else. I'm sorry to anyone who has them, and it's not my place to tell you what to do with your lives/bodies, but I hate tattoos.

It's even worse that men and women have started to get neck tattoos, face tattoos, full sleeves on arms and legs etc.

 

[devilhawk]

I think some of you are a bit obsessed with this fedora-guy-hate-a-thon. Nothing said in these threads about them is wrong, it is just all been said before.

 

[Bobby Roberts]

There's something in the back of my brain that think this might be the case, but I do kind of like to think that it's just some disgruntled, articulate philosophy major who got rejected his freshman year.

I don't think this is satire.

Not that people on the internet have the firmest grip on what it even is, or how to wield it. But this really doesn't read like someone trying to comment on a societal ill through comedy.

 

[marrec]

E tu, marrec?

All I'm saying is that some people can't pull off a fedora.

I'd take bets that this guy is one of those people.

Edit:

Post edited for anti-fedora hate.

 

[siddx]

I guess I'm a whore monger then, because a tattoo on a woman is massively sexy.

 

[Count Dookkake]

If only.

 

[Vermillion]

All I'm saying is that some people can't pull off a fedora.

I'd take bets that this guy is one of those people.

Edit:

Post edited for anti-fedora hate.

*breathes*

<3

 

[Schattenjäger]

My buddy always says getting a tattoo is like putting a bumper sticker on a Ferrari

 

[Menelaus]

OMG I'm dying, Pinterest why

"agape means unconditional love in Greek. South Side Tattoo in Howell, NJ."

 

[jchap]

Tattoos are gross. Women can still be hot with tattoos but I always think what a waste.

 

[jambo]

Yup. Tattoos are an instant turn off. I just can't look at anything else. I'm sorry to anyone who has them, and it's not my place to tell you what to do with your lives/bodies, but I hate tattoos.

It's even worse that men and women have started to get neck tattoos, face tattoos, full sleeves on arms and legs etc.

Started to get? All of those have been around for thousands of years.

I never used to go either way with tattoos, but my fiance has a handful and now I love them.

 

[Kinitari]

Sometimes I think I am psychic, because I can already guess which people will come in the thread, make quick posts in agreement and most likely not reply.

And how.

For example.

Am I psychic? Or are people just that predictable?

 

[SeanR1221]

Does this guy wear a fedora.

 

[SolidSnakex]

It's even worse that men and women have started to get neck tattoos, face tattoos, full sleeves on arms and legs etc.

But...those are the best!

 

[marrec]

Started to get? All of those have been around for thousands of years.

I never used to go either way with tattoos, but my fiance has a handful and now I love them.

There's something about a good looking, well placed tattoo that is hot. It's weird to me that some people find them gross.