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AMERICAN HORROR STORY: Coven |OT| When witches don't fight, we burn....

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Z

zeroeffect

Member
I'm so far a little disappointed with this season. I hold this show at a high standard for me personally and it's not living up to it right now. Then again, I think season 2 started slow for me and then really blew my mind. I'm hoping this season does the same.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Alrighty then, AHS time!

Of course Lange uses magic to open the liquor cabinet.

1971. Damn she's old. Young Fiona's pretty fine. Her teacher's kind of... annoying. Pretty sure Fiona will off her.

Young Fiona's a vicious little gash. Goddamn, this is escalated quickly. Oh damn, throat cut. OMG FIONA CUT OUT THE BUTLER'S TONGUE BIIIIITCH.

CUE NIGHTMARE CREDITS.

Of god, jazz. Is Fiona just having a fucking prolonged middle life crisis? Just hire a damn male gigolo and stop being awful.

Lol, Evan Peter's mom is depressing. Great, he's the greatest dude in the world. Whoop de do.

Oh, she was on the brink of suicide. I hope she meets FrankenHunk soon!

Lalalalalalalalalalalala. Love this fucking tune. This will not end well for the neighbor folk.

Fucking lol. Kathy Bates would fit in well with the Tea Party!

Liiiiiiiiieeeeees. That was an amazing line delivery. Ha, new maid.

The fuck is with this terrible fish eye lens crap? Looooooool, Queenie gonna fuck her up.

Hahahahahahaha, personal slave. Goddamn. "Nothing I hate more than a racist!" Moral superiority ftw.


My sexy swamp hippie! Yeah boy! God, she is so fucking alluring.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Oh, he's healed. That was... Quick. If Zoe has sex with him nope, would he die again or turn into a zombie or what?

Stay sweet and innocent, Misty, pls don't get all jealous. Oh God. I knew he was gonna be an assholer about it. Fuck you, FrankenHunk. Misty is superior to Zoe.

:( now I'm sad. The hell. I would have stayed for dinner. And more.

Ha, Madison, way to go. Ha, "I didn't say anything!".

This ain't gonna end well for Madison. THIS IS HOW PEOPLE GET BURNED AT THE STAKE.

I KNEW THIS SEASON WAS GONNA GO INTO CREEPY BABY TERRITORY!

Lalalalalalalalalalala

This visit to FrankenHunks mom is an awful idea. Taissa Farmiga continues to be awful and make poor choices.

Fiona will probably go to hell anyways, why not just sell your soul to the devil for immortality.

Ha, no one does drunken mocking like Jessica Lange!

And no one does trashy mocking like Emma Roberts. She is tiny.

OH GOD WHAYT THE FUCK WHAY THE FUCK WHAT IS HAPPENING THATS HIS MOM WHAT THSI SHIT IS THIS GUYS oh god that's fucked ip

That is just so... distressing. On so many levels. That is awful. Oh God. So fucked up.

Oh Lana banana. Still making poor choices. The hell's wrong with adoption, girl?

That'd be a weird request for your husband. two ounces of semen. Jeez. He must really love her.

Wow. That is some voodoo shit. Sara Paulson's game for everything, Christ.


Angela Bassett has a great cackling laugh. Ooooh, Lana Banana gonna be pissed.


Why is wearing all black in New Orleans a good idea?

We all know that Fiona gonna backstab Madison. I don't believe this motherly act for a second. God, Fiona is terrible. What if that random dude had died?

Kathy Bates and Precious are gonna be amazing together.

MINOTAUR!!!!!!!!!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Oh she begging now. Queenie gonna be a boss? Oh Queenie, this is such a terrible idea. Queenie... What the hell are you doing...? Oh God. Oh God. God in Heaven the fuck.

Ew ew ew ew. She wants to please him.

Oh, there we go. Beat the molesting psycho to death yo. Only a matter of time.

You have no one to blame but yourself, Zoe.

Oh boy, this is not gonna end well for Hollywood Starlet.

Um. Oh shit. Oh shit. She did it.

Smokes like a chimney, no wonder she has cancer. Bitch. Mute butler bein weird.

Shiiiiiet. Next episode looks intense.

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

807l5s1q.gif
 
S

Supermanisdead

Member
evan peters is not attractive. the all time AHS ranking goes

dad from season 1
head priest from season 2
neighbour from season 3
adam levine


nobody else
 
R

Replicant

Member
My list of hot guys in AHS:

Dylan McDermott (hot dad in S1)
Teddy Sears (Patrick, one half of the gay guy in S1)
Joseph Fiennes (Monsignor HotPants in S2)

I don't get the fascination with Evan Peters either. But I'll just blame Tumblr for making some poor individuals into his fans.
 
D

Dabanton

Member
Anyone else check out the AHS facebook page. Absolutely crazy stuff on there I had to sideeye these two comments from some guy.

Carl Lefler: Madame Lalaurie did a lot of things. Like drink a magic elixir and is still alive somewhere in a box. We just haven't found her yet. When she was alive we view her acts of violence as horrible and disgusting yet blacks were still slaves and didn't have very many rights. People view her as a monster but if we were able to go back in time and prove she was mentally ill people would feel sympathy for her. Also why does no one view it sick was those people did to those innocent women in Salem? Male on female violence is ok? But female on black oeople violence is horrible?
Click to expand...

He followed it up later with this. Which I found hilarious

Carl Lefler: I cried to when Obama became president twice. But not because I am racist because I knew he was going to mess this country up.
Click to expand...

wdccgvdyhqqe.png
 
F

Frost_Ace

Member
So I heard the ratings were pretty good for this episode...how much exactly?

EDIT: it is known the only hot guy in ahs was Dylan McDermott.
 
T

toastyToast

Member
This episode had me like
KF4Wns8.png


Oh yeah, did anyone find the transition from Lily Rabe being all sad and shit to spinning in a circle really fucking weird? I swear I burst out laughing instantly
 
D

dan2026

Member
To be honest the most disturbing thing in this episode is how morbidly obese Queenie is.

Is almost painful to watch.
 
K

KibblesBits

Member
So, apparently, the fish eye scene in the last episode *may* have been a homage to a certain scene in the film Misery which just happened to star a much younger Kathy Bates.
 
T

Taruranto

Member
The pregnancy-rite was surprisingly tame. I mean, eat hot pepper and kill a goat? Uh, sure.

Then again, mother-son incest and consensual sex with minotaur, shit would be hard to top.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
_Keiichi_ said:
The pregnancy-rite was surprisingly tame. I mean, eat hot pepper and kill a goat? Uh, sure.

Then again, mother-son incest and consensual sex with minotaur, shit would be hard to top.
Click to expand...

I'm gonna be honest, this episode left me somewhat... frazzled.

I thought the goat blood was like... going into her vagina.
 
M

Matt_

World's #1 One Direction Fan: Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you~~~
The pregnancy scene never actually happened did it? I read the situation as a premonition thing of what would have happened if voodoo queen said yes
 
M

Movement

Member
So was the fertility scene from episode 2 with snakes and candles and sex their previous (failed) attempt at her trying black magic?
 
M

Miles Quaritch

Member
What a crazy ass episode. Not sure where to begin, goats blood on vagina, LIIIIIIIIIIIIESSSSSSS!, incest/abuse, throne of bones (which was admittedly pretty damn awesome), masturbating in front of/having sex with a minotaur and a surprise death...

Shit was crazy.

It's going to be very interesting to see how they top this episode going forward. I sincerely hope they haven't blown their crazy load already...

Anyway, Madison in that blue dress. GODDAMN! And you just know the neighbours are going to be causing some major waves going forward. Witch hunt anyone? And Angela Bassett during the ritual scene - my god.

Disappointed that Madison is dead, now we're going to have to contend with yet more boring Zoe scenes...Yay!
 
T

TheYanger

Member
Miles Quaritch said:
What a crazy ass episode. Not sure where to begin, goats blood on vagina, LIIIIIIIIIIIIESSSSSSS!, incest/abuse, throne of bones (which was admittedly pretty damn awesome), masturbating in front of/having sex with a minotaur and a surprise death...

Shit was crazy.

It's going to be very interesting to see how they top this episode going forward. I sincerely hope they haven't blown their crazy load already...

Anyway, Madison in that blue dress. GODDAMN! And you just know the neighbours are going to be causing some major waves going forward. Witch hunt anyone? And Angela Bassett during the ritual scene - my god.

Disappointed that Madison is dead, now we're going to have to contend with yet more boring Zoe scenes...Yay!
Click to expand...

The entire season so far has been about immortality, resurrection, and creating life. I'd be surprised if Madison was truly dead tbh.
 
M

Miles Quaritch

Member
W

White Man

Member
I liked Madison's character. She needs to come back to life as a non-zombie/Frankenstein and start fighting Fiona. She's got the attitude.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Miles Quaritch said:
Yes, we absolutely do need to get it trending. Zoe was abysmal this episode, so much more than usual and with Frankenkyle not going anywhere soon, it's only going to get worse as they focus more on their characters.
Click to expand...

Uggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm sure Taissa's a nice girl, but she is the personification of anti-charisma. I dunno if it's the writing or how she's playing the character or what, but every time she shows up, I just want to tune out and find GIFs to showcase my boredom.

It must be the writing. The role of Zoe is so thankless. Everybody else is a spitfire or is interesting or mysterious or weird, Zoe is just fucking... wallpaper.
 
F

Fenderputty

Banned
My interest in Zoe basically hinges upon my interest in the characters her story line is moving along with. I'm curious about frankenboy and hippie witch.
 
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