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[Drake]

So this recently happened to me and I'm completely dumbfounded. I've been seeing my current girlfriend, well I guess ex now, for a little over a year. Things were going pretty well, or at least I thought they were. The last time I saw her she stayed over my place and when she left everything seemed fine. I noticed over the next couple of days she was pretty distant. I asked her to hang out later in the week and she turned me down. At this point I kinda thought something was up.

We basically had one other small exchange over text after that and then there was 4 days of silence. I asked her what was going on and I'm met with more silence. It's now been 2 weeks of nothing, so I'm assuming the relationship is over.

If I'm being honest with myself and listen to what my gut is telling me then the only logical conclusion is that there is another guy. I have no idea when she would have met this guy, but it's the only outcome that makes sense to me. If that is the case she should have just been honest with me. This ghosting nonsense is a way worse feeling than just telling me she met someone else.

So, anyone else ever have this happen to them?

 

[V2Tommy]

What? No way. Something bad definitely happened. The guilt probably did her in.

 

[Pidull]

It doesn't matter why, she ghosted you because she didn't respect you enough to tell you why.

Wash your hands of her and find someone else. If she ever comes back crying, remember how she left things.

Sorry man. Chin up.

 

[Cunth]

damn thats some cold shit. anyway, yeah forget her its over.

 

[diffusionx]

Past a single date or two, ghosting is some of the worst shit someone can do to another person.

 

[King of Foxes]

Maybe make sure she isnt dead or in hospital or something first.

But otherwise just box up her shit, tell her you will leave it outside your door tomorrow as you will be out of town. Then stay home and open the door when she comes.

 

[Amory]

Jesus. That's really fucked up.

On the bright side youre no longer with a person who would ghost someone after seeing them for a fuckin year

 

[Barnabot]

ask her "wtf is going on that you are acting like a selfish bitch". that's the first step.

 

[Drake]

damn thats some cold shit. anyway, yeah forget her its over.

Right? It is fucking cold. It's so weird too. Everything went down hill so fast.

 

[nush]

So this recently happened to me and I'm completely dumbfounded. I've been seeing my current girlfriend, well I guess ex now, for a little over a year. Things were going pretty well, or at least I thought they were. The last time I saw her she stayed over my place and when she left everything seemed fine. I noticed over the next couple of days she was pretty distant. I asked her to hang out later in the week and she turned me down. At this point I kinda thought something was up.

We basically had one other small exchange over text after that and then there was 4 days of silence. I asked her what was going on and I'm met with more silence. It's now been 2 weeks of nothing, so I'm assuming the relationship is over.

If I'm being honest with myself and listen to what my gut is telling me then the only logical conclusion is that there is another guy. I have no idea when she would have met this guy, but it's the only outcome that makes sense to me. If that is the case she should have just been honest with me. This ghosting nonsense is a way worse feeling than just telling me she met someone else.

So, anyone else ever have this happen to them?

I didn't even need to get to the end of the post to know the reason was "Found new dick".

Now, be very very careful. She could well be finding out if new dick is interested in her or not. I'd assume after two weeks he must be, BUT if she comes back with a novella of reasons why she didn't talk to you for two weeks then it will be bullshit. She got some strange, it didn't work out and she wants to come back to the comfort zone.

Send her a text, tell her it's over and collect anything of hers that she has together and tell her to pick it up by the end of the week or it's getting thrown in the bin.

Take control, take it on the chin and move on thankfully that it's only a year of a relationship and not longer before she pulled this on you.

 

[DunDunDunpachi]

Women are vapid? Be grateful you only wasted a year, but I am sorry for the confusion and heartache. Hope you can see her for what she is and move on.

 

[Pidull]

Right? It is fucking cold. It's so weird too. Everything went down hill so fast.

I know the feeling. My ex-wife shut down on me completely because of fights over her spending habits. I bought her a Nintendo Switch last Christmas as an early gift in early December, she got me nothing and broke up with me Christmas Eve. Fucked a dude she was crushing on two weeks later, and he was done with her almost immediately after.

Destroyed relationship to fuck a guy, upturned our kids' lives, all because I was upset she was overspending and she didn't like me "controlling" her (I have no life savings).

Don't accept being secondary.

 

[nush]

I know the feeling. My ex-wife shut down on me completely because of fights over her spending habits. I bought her a Nintendo Switch last Christmas as an early gift in early December, she got me nothing and broke up with me Christmas Eve. Fucked a dude she was crushing on two weeks later, and he was done with her almost immediately after.

Destroyed relationship to fuck a guy, upturned our kids' lives, all because I was upset she was overspending and she didn't like me "controlling" her (I have no life savings).

Don't accept being secondary.

Sorry to hear this, that's stone fucking cold. There are too many women that see the husband as just free cash they are "Entitled" too. My ex-wife was bad, but not as terrible as yours.

 

[mr.dilya]

Whatever you do, don’t text or call her again.

If she tries to contact you don’t respond. Don’t block her, just leave her messages on read.

 

[-Minsc-]

No. That has more to do with me having never been in such a year+ relationship.

Not much I can say. It's up to her to be honest with you. Nothing wrong with asking around and being concerned about her wellbeing. Innocent until proven guilty (even if guilty is the truth). Take at least six months off dating. Remember the good times with here and learn to let go of any hate for her. The single life will be an excellent time to look at and work on improving ones self. Understand your life may end up moving on without her.

I'm just another guy who's as clueless as the next, take what you will from what I say. The best to where ever your life leads.

 

[EverydayBeast]

There's in increase in ghosting it's often just real life ignoring lol

 

[Deleted member 1159]

My gut instinct tells me your gut instinct is right. Move on.

 

[DrJohnGalt]

Not exactly ghosted, but just flat walked-out on recently. The girl and I (started dating around 2009) have always been pretty independent (kept all finances and business separate, had our own separate bedrooms, our own hobbies, etc) so it was never a conventional relationship, and that's how we liked it. Things had been kind of off the past few months (this was fall of 2019) and it kinda felt like we were drifting apart, but after putting on happy faces for the holidays I thought things were heading in the right direction. Then she dropped the bomb: "I'm seeing someone else, I'll be leaving for valentines day and we won't see each other again. I'll pick up my stuff while you're at work over the next few weeks and leave the final rent check on my last trip. I'll have everything out by the end of the month." And that was it. No discussion. No trying to work it out. Just an "I'm leaving" and she was gone. Haven't seen or heard from her since.

I agree with the others, don't try to chase her or even call or text her. Life usually isn't like a romcom. Trust me, you probably don't want to know what she's doing. The best thing to do is take a look at what you did, if you could have or should have done anything differently, and try not to make the same mistakes with your next relationship. It's just as likely you didn't do anything wrong at all. Some people just grow apart. But ghosting you like she did is cold.

But sometimes a clean break is best. Maybe. Right?

 

[Nester99]

Sorry to hear,

This happened to a friend of mine last month. She was with him for 9 years. Last few had been long distance as he went back to school. Radio silence and no response to her for weeks but still posted life stuff on Facebook. 6 weeks later he sent her a stupid 3 line “sorry not sorry” email. She did not respond.

Some people are just cowards.

Sorry you have to deal with this. Time to hit the gym and source some rebounds.

 

[Tesseract]

sometimes it be dat way, probably best to move on

 

[GAMETA]

Happened with me after 3 months of relationship, one week she suddenly stopped responding my messages and calls... Turned out she was back with her ex...

Can't say I was happy (I liked her), but for some reason there was some "comfort" in knowing it was her ex and not some new dude, because through that logic, in my mind then, I was the other dude... and I can live with that.

 

[GAMETA]

Anyway, about your situation, it's best to move on, man. Don't accept being the second choice, gotta have self-respect.

 

[supernova8]

Well the only negative is that you lost a year of your life to a shithead. Move on and find someone better. Chin up! (or better, chin her)

 

[Elektro Demon]

Take a dump on her porch and move on with your life.

 

[Drake]

I know the feeling. My ex-wife shut down on me completely because of fights over her spending habits. I bought her a Nintendo Switch last Christmas as an early gift in early December, she got me nothing and broke up with me Christmas Eve. Fucked a dude she was crushing on two weeks later, and he was done with her almost immediately after.

Destroyed relationship to fuck a guy, upturned our kids' lives, all because I was upset she was overspending and she didn't like me "controlling" her (I have no life savings).

Don't accept being secondary.

Dude, this is BRUTAL. Sorry this happened to you.

Hopefully you are doing better.

 

[Goro Majima]

Holy shit I feel sorry for the next guy if she thinks it's okay to just stop talking to a long term relationship partner and hope that they'll get the hint.

Doesn't speak highly toward her ability to manage conflict resolution which is a huge aspect of relationships.

It's also why you should never, ever speak to this woman again especially if she comes crawling back.

 

[Amory]

Not to be all "kids these days" but how old are you, OP? Because this strikes me as some Gen Z internet age bullshit where no one either knows how, or feels the need to talk to anyone about anything anymore.

 

[008]

A year and then a complete ghost. Ouch that would hurt a lot.

 

[The Bloody-Nine]

People actually do this these days? Sounds like a horrible cunt. HOWEVER, have you considered that maybe someone told her you were cheating on her? I mean, it's possible. Unlikely, but possible.

Her being a horrible cunt seems way more logical, I admit.

 

[Tesseract]

when it's interpersonal and sexual, ghosting at that level is pretty fucked up

some closure would be nice but it's not like she owes you anything, best to move on and start banging other girls

 

[aerts1js]

So fucked up. Don’t try to contact her again and if she tries to contact you DO NOT respond.

 

[synchronicity]

Yes, op. The wiener hole has another wiener in it.

 

[Pidull]

Dude, this is BRUTAL. Sorry this happened to you.

Hopefully you are doing better.

It's been a process for sure. I worked 70-100 hours a week just to support my family, put my kids in a good school, and provide a home in a safe neighborhood; she blamed me for getting angry about money or not being home to provide her emotional support, yet half the time I was getting home after 14 hours away and had to cook dinner for the whole family. There is a lot of coming to terms with the fact that she never respected me, and the hardest element is how this affects my kids.

No one deserves partners that don't respect them, we're both better off.

(As an aside, I did find someone who is a better partner, I'm more financially stable than ever, and I'm healthier than I've been in years. Breakups aren't the end if you turn them into a new beginning.)

 

[nush]

HOWEVER, have you considered that maybe someone told her you were cheating on her?

There's no girlfriend on earth that would react to being cheated on in silence.

 

[Can't decide]

Long distance relationships just aren't worth it.

I know the feeling of being ghosted. I kicked out my partner of 8 years last week, she owes me thousands of £ and refuses to work or get off her ass. I've asked for the money nicely only to be met with silence.
Since then I warned her I'll resort to legal action if she doesn't respond, which she still hasn't. Legal action it is then.

 

[aerts1js]

Long distance relationships just aren't worth it.

I know the feeling of being ghosted. I kicked out my partner of 8 years last week, she owes me thousands of £ and refuses to work or get off her ass. I've asked for the money nicely only to be met with silence.
Since then I warned her I'll resort to legal action if she doesn't respond, which she still hasn't. Legal action it is then.

Yeah, good luck getting that money back. Could just cost you more with legal expenses. I’d personally just cut my losses and move on.

 

[The Bloody-Nine]

There's no girlfriend on earth that would react to being cheated on in silence.

Much harder to murder him if she lets him know she's on to him.

 

[TaySan]

Yes i have and it's a cowards way out of a relationship. Sadly something that's way too common nowadays.

 

[Goro Majima]

There's no girlfriend on earth that would react to being cheated on in silence.

Yeah if she thinks you cheated on her she's telling:

You
Her parents
Her family
Her friends
Her coworkers
Her hair stylist
Her manicurist
All of Facebook
All of Twitter
The Better Business Bureau
Yelp

Like there's no way you're not hearing about it. If not from her, then her friends/family.

 

[Sub_Level]

Long distance relationships just aren't worth it.

I know the feeling of being ghosted. I kicked out my partner of 8 years last week, she owes me thousands of £ and refuses to work or get off her ass. I've asked for the money nicely only to be met with silence.
Since then I warned her I'll resort to legal action if she doesn't respond, which she still hasn't. Legal action it is then.

If its "only" 4 figures I'd cut losses. Especially if you have little or nothing in writing.

It shouldn't be like dat way but it do.

 

[Tesseract]

i dunno why people engage in long distance relationships

why would you do that to yourself

 

[Mistershine.]

Maybe you were the other guy and she nearly got caught?

 

[Stiflers Mom]

I know the feeling. My ex-wife shut down on me completely because of fights over her spending habits. I bought her a Nintendo Switch last Christmas as an early gift in early December, she got me nothing and broke up with me Christmas Eve. Fucked a dude she was crushing on two weeks later, and he was done with her almost immediately after.

Destroyed relationship to fuck a guy, upturned our kids' lives, all because I was upset she was overspending and she didn't like me "controlling" her (I have no life savings).

Don't accept being secondary.

Sorry to hear, mate.. :/

 

[Revoh]

Maybe you were the other guy and she nearly got caught?

 

[ExpandKong]

Only by my father.

Sorry to hear that OP, been married for a while now and everything I hear about the modern dating scene makes it sound like pure hell.

 

[Jack Peterson]

Been through it man. Women are capable of some cold, evil stuff.. it's hard for me to get attached anymore.

 

[Reptars Revenge]

Long term no I’m pretty sure that’s illegal

 

[Soleil rouge]

She's going to text you back eventually. I hope you're strong enough to move on. She's not worth it. There's always someone better out there and you'll forget about her soon enough. It's hard at first, but time heals all.

 

[SpartanN92]

I had something similar with a gf of about 6 months. It was for the best. I met my wife 2 weeks later
Funny story though, the old gf called me two years later the day before I got married, absolutely shit faced drunk and sobbing about how she made a horrible mistake and asked me to cancel my wedding so we could be together

 

[entremet]

Nope. Sounds rough tho.