Anyone ever try suicide?

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Icanplaythat

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I tried a little over a year ago, obviously I failed. I tried something called Cardiac tamponade; basically I took an eleven inch jungle knife, placed a mark over my heart between the fourth and fifth rib from the top and plunged the knife in. It felt very odd and not necessarily painful (which is why I chose tamponade, it's supposedly a relatively pain free way to go), ultimately I couldn't get through the intercostal tissue/cartilage. After 5 hours of laughing at the absurdity of my situation, crying at my failure and trying to convince myself to finish the job; someone found me and I spent a month in a locked psychiatric ward. I realize it was a shitty attempt, I should have tried something more definitive.

I still think about trying it again; even though I'm on meds, they don't seem to be doing shit. Like I said I do think about it a lot, but I'm not actively planning. That's something I discovered about myself, I'm a perpetual planner. I guess that's one of my problems, a total lack of spontaneity.

Although my life has improved immeasurably since the attempt, it still sucks. I can think of so many ways to try again, but I lack the initiative; which I guess means I want to live, but I really don't.

Just curious to know if anyone has tried, or is contemplating a self imposed death?
 
many times. I find suicide to be overrated. I'm not a rational person and several times I came close. Nobody has ever found out I always came to my senses at the last minute.
 
Would discussing the issue make you less or more inclined towards suicide again? I ask as the reporting of suicide is a very contentious issue (at least here in Australia) as it is believed it can lead to many at-risk people to take their own life.
 
Uhh...awkward....


I rather loathe people who commit suicide and have little sympathy for them. It's the people they leave behind who suffer. But at the same time I understand people have mental deficiencies beyond their control.
 
Yep,.

I tried flipping my car off of an overpass.

Didn't work. Totalled the car, walked back to my dad's place.

Drove back to the scene. Police and firefighters were already there.

Sat in the back of a cop car, took a breathalizer. I wasn't drunk. They took me to the hosptial. After that I spent a week in a psych ward.

I up and quit my pills and counselling one day. Best decision of my life.
 
Thought about it but never tried. Partly my fear of dying (the moments leading up to, not the finale), also partly because I wouldn't want anyone to have to find me. That's simplifying if course, but still.

That was back when I was younger though. I still have fleeting thoughts of 'I could easily wrap this belt around my neck and this post and just go limp' or 'I can just push this car up to 100mph and aim for that tree' but I will never do it.
 
Interesting method, OP. I'd never heard of that before. I've thought about it from time to time but could never come up with a relatively pain free way to do it. I'd have to be pushed into doing it, like something really awful would have to happen, but the thoughts still linger in the back of my mind.
 
disappeared said:
Yep,.

I tried flipping my car off of an overpass.

Didn't work. Totalled the car, walked back to my dad's place.

Drove back to the scene. Police and firefighters were already there.

Sat in the back of a cop car, took a breathalizer. I wasn't drunk. They took me to the hosptial. After that I spent a week in a psych ward.

I up and quit my pills and counselling one day. Best decision of my life.
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Do not listen to this advise, OP. While it may have 'worked' for him, it's a stupid thing to do.
 
.. Oh, man :(

I like living and, most importantly, I enjoy living... so I can't say that I've tried it nor would I want to.

And please don't try to take your own life man. Life still has very rich moments waiting to be discovered.
 
Tapiozona said:
Do not listen to this advise, OP. While it may have 'worked' for him, it's a stupid thing to do.
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Not if you have a shitty counselor and the pills aren't working!

edit: But just to get this out of the way I'm not presuming to give advice to anyone in this thread.
 
Tapiozona said:
Do not listen to this advise, OP. While it may have 'worked' for him, it's a stupid thing to do.
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Bullshit.

Unless you have been exactly where I was, you're an armchair critic.

It's all willpower. Having a belief in yourself strong enough to carry on.
 
Yes I have. I left a message for my family to find and I attempted to over doze on pills. Luckily, I was stopped and taken to a hospital. I was put into a psych ward and it was a terrible, but yet freakishly inspiring week. Being in the psych ward I realized perhaps my life wasn't so bad. Now my reasons for wanting to attempt suicide were as I put "middle class person problems" in that honestly my life was pretty solid, but I just kind of have poor self image and I feel like failure in most aspects of life. But being there all I could realize is that I'm not so bad and well not be a douche bag, but here's these people that have real problems.

Life's gotten better honestly. I still have problems with my self image and the like, but I've made changes and strives to become better. I hate my hair, so I'm growing it out to try something new. I have a job and that really boosts my confidence.

I can't really tell you anything inspirational, as I myself am not completely there yet. I don't want to be corny and say some bs. No one likes bs and I hated some of the bs they would say in the psych ward. I would just say yes life can get better.
 
disappeared said:
Yep,.

I tried flipping my car off of an overpass.
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Can't stand it when people endanger others with their suicide attempts. Just run a hose from your tailpipe to your car window like the rest of the world and leave the people trying to survive alone.
 
The shocking news stories are one thing, but these threads always suck. :(

Wish I could just tell you to find something you enjoy and live for it, but we know it's not that easy. Good luck dude.
 
My situation might be rare.

But I've been down the darkest road of them all.

I've seen that shit.

When I flipped my car, all I could think about was nothing.

Having looked back on that, I'm stronger.

All you have to do is believe in yourself, and that you have the ability to carry on.
 
disappeared said:
Bullshit.

Unless you have been exactly where I was, you're an armchair critic.

It's all willpower. Having a belief in yourself strong enough to carry on.
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Blah blah, I'm the only person who's experienced low points in my life. The only person who's experienced depression. Blah blah, sociopath, can't empathize that others could possibly feel like I did, blah blah.

Sounds about right?


And yes it's still a stupid thing to do and if that's the advise you give people then you're as dumb as you sound.
 
Ugh can't say I didn't get a little unconformable reading the OP, but no I haven't and I hope you won't try again, but obviously that's easy for me to say.

PhoenixDark said:
I've never even thought of that. That's...wut :(

What does it taste like
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Like heaven.
 
Tapiozona said:
Blah blah, I'm the only person who's experienced low points in my life. The only person who's experienced depression. Blah blah, sociopath, can't empathize that others could possibly feel like I did, blah blah.

Sounds about right.

And yes it's still a stupid thing to do and if that's the advise you give people then you're as dumb as you sound.
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I had no idea.

Thanks for your opinion.
 
I'm sure countless people have contemplated it.

What keeps me going nowadays is setting goals. Give yourself an objective and work toward that. The why may seem pointless, but it's the goal itself that's the reason. You create a why when you have an objective.

I've tried a couple of times, the first time seriously and the second kind of halfheartedly. My first attempt was with sleeping pills and alcohol. I never fell unconscious, but was paralyzed for about twelve hours. I could think relatively clearly and remember everything, but I could not control my body. My girlfriend found me lying on the ground convulsing and I was given treatment, the whole time thinking I had failed, that I should have done something different to finish myself off.

People call it the easy way out, but I disagree. For me it wasn't an "out," I had nothing to escape from. I was just tired of living. I had plenty going for me, I was smart, well liked, all of that, but it didn't mean anything to me. My life felt pointless, like I could be anyone and if I died I'd just as quickly be replaced.

I still feel that way sometimes, so I can understand where you're coming from. I don't know if you're being 100% serious honestly, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. What you attempted is just grisly.

Do you have a pet, OP? I've found owning one helps a lot toward motivating me forward and keeping my spirits up.
 
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As a kid I was ADD so they put me on several types of medication, I was on Ritalin for the longest time and that worked fine I think but then they tried putting me on Dextroamphetamine (Dexies) which worked somewhat differently on me. Instead of just slowing me down they also made me really really depressed. Came close to hanging myself from my tree house a few times. Yay for being a suicidal 10 year old I guess. After they found out that Dexies where messing me up they took me off them and then had to see a Shrink for the next 5 or so years to help me out.

So yay for all of that :(
 
Yup.

I was 17 (19 now) and after a rather heated argument with a female, I downed bottle after bottle of pain meds. I realized I fucked up, went into school, told a teacher, went to hospital and that's it.

I think about it at least once a week but I've found someone in the same situation and everytime I get close, I call her up and she comes over. We talk, she gets me through it (barely) and I move on.

No one knows about this besides that friend. Really wish I could tell someone how bad I actually feel about everything. But, there's no one else I can really turn to so I just go day to day with my mediocre life, doing nothing to help myself but wallow in my own self pity.

To sum up. I hate my life and don't really have a reason to.
 
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