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Anyone here not masturbate?

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B

Bailey's Dad

Banned
While I understand that people won't believe me for whatever reason I don't. I'm a Christian and married and I don't masturbate. Never. The end.
 
M

McLesterolBeast

Member
I dont think anyone cares about what you do with your penis. We're happy that your son has more than enough penis to satisfy your stroking needs, but this isn't the place to discuss it.
 
G

Ghost

Chili Con Carnage!
Seriously, why do you want to know?

What does your wife think about your interest in other mens masturbation habits?
 
I

ItalianStallion

Banned
Go home early one day when the pool boy is scheduled to be doing his routine cleaning.

Yah, he'll be doing his routine cleaning, but not on the pool. ;)
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
I've got my hand down my pants this very second! It's not even hard and I'm tugging on it!

Honest to god man, I don't know how you do it. I get too fucking horny not to. Having a wife obviously helps, but you didn't always have one.
 
M

Matt

Member
Bailey's Dad said:
I'm a Christian
Click to expand...
I don’t see what that has to do with anything. You have sex with your wife (at least I hope so), that involves essentially the same principal as masturbation, sans the women. Where’s the sin?
 
S

Saint Cornelius

Banned
Matt said:
I don’t see what that has to do with anything. You have sex with your wife, that involves essentially the same principal as masturbation, sans the women. Where’s the sin?
Click to expand...

The Lord sayeth 'thou shall not masturbate'. Onan, in Genesis 38:8-10 and alladat.
 
A

andthebeatgoeson

Junior Member
Matt said:
I don’t see what that has to do with anything. You have sex with your wife (at least I hope so), that involves essentially the same principal as masturbation, sans the women. Where’s the sin?
Click to expand...

The sin is like most sins: frabricated by a human. OMG, don't eat pork...Allah said so.

OMG, don't have sex before marriage...cuz god said so. He told me.
 
T

totoro'd

Member
Bailey's Dad said:
While I understand that people won't believe me for whatever reason I don't. I'm a Christian and married and I don't masturbate. Never. The end.
Click to expand...

Dude, never mention you're a Christian on a message board, you'll get ripped to shreds
 
W

Willco

Hollywood Square
Jesus masturbated. There's no way he didn't some poon and let his rocks get blue for all 'dem years.
 
B

Bailey's Dad

Banned
Be-Ah-Hui said:
Dude, never mention you're a Christian on a message board, you'll get ripped to shreds
Click to expand...

Yeah I know. I don't start conversations like that in real life but then again I don't ask people if they masturbate or not either. lol
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
Before Mary Magdalene Jesus used to have a tug twice a day I hear. Whilst with her he liked to watch her with other men. Black men.

JESUS WAS WHITE!

This post was so uncalled for. Sorry.
 
B

Bailey's Dad

Banned
Mama Smurf said:
Before Mary Magdalene Jesus used to have a tug twice a day I hear. Whilst with her he liked to watch her with other men. Black men.

JESUS WAS WHITE!

This post was so uncalled for. Sorry.
Click to expand...

Are you suggesting what you said wasn't?

Mods delete the topic. Sorry.
 
W

Willco

Hollywood Square
Mama Smurf said:
Before Mary Magdalene Jesus used to have a tug twice a day I hear. Whilst with her he liked to watch her with other men. Black men.
Click to expand...

I smell box office dollars!

The Passion of the Masturbation? Savior Surprise? We'll figure the title out later.
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
I still can't believe Jesus married a woman with the same name as his mother. They say it's just a coincidence. But I have the photos.
 
W

Willco

Hollywood Square
Mama Smurf said:
I still can't believe Jesus married a woman with the same name as his mother. They say it's just a coincidence. But I have the photos.
Click to expand...

DRUDGE REPORT EXCLUSIVE! JESUS CAME BACK FROM THE FUTURE TO IMPREGNATE MOM! PHOTO EVIDENCE & FREE TACO BELL COUPONS!
 
C

clipunderground

Member
fuck. I think more people should masturbate. think of all the good that comes out of it!

*Relieves sexual frustration
*Feels great
*Safe Sex
*Your not inpregnating someone only to have religous people cry about abortions too.
*Last longer during real sex
*Prevent the spread of STD's
*No need to buy condoms


Seriously, theres a lot of good. Whats in the bad list? I'll go to hell?? BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
wake up from wonderland buddy! :)
 
S

Spike Spiegel

Member
Saint Cornelius said:
The Lord sayeth 'thou shall not masturbate'. Onan, in Genesis 38:8-10 and alladat.
Click to expand...
That "Sin of Onan" thing is in our research material, too. Onan refused to obey Jewish law and impregnate his dead brother's wife, and "spilled his seed" on the ground. But couldn't that just be a case of coitus interruptus instead?

Onan hit it with Biblical fury, then pulled out before he came.
 
S

Saint Cornelius

Banned
Spike Spiegel said:
Onan hit it with Biblical fury, then pulled out before he came.
Click to expand...

Then God smiteth everyone! So, that was bad, I think the book is trying to say.

I don't believe in any of this shit any more I do the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, I'm just saying.
 
ScientificNinja

ScientificNinja

Member
I honestly have to question the motives for starting this thread. The other thread, while funny, posed what appears to be a genuine and serious question. This one is more like a "I can't contain my moral outrage so I'll start a petty anti-thread" thread.
 
Z

Zilch

Banned
ScientificNinja said:
I honestly have to question the motives for starting this thread. The other thread, while funny, posed what appears to be a genuine and serious question. This one is more like a "I can't contain my moral outrage so I'll start a petty anti-thread" thread.
Click to expand...

Indeed. Unlike some here, I have no problem with Bailey's Dad's habits. Still, the initial post seems a little combative and more provocative than informative.

And for the record, I'm a Christian and I jerk it frequently and don't plan on stopping when I'm married. :D
 
C

clipunderground

Member
Zilch said:
Indeed. Unlike some here, I have no problem with Bailey's Dad's habits. Still, the initial post seems a little combative and more provocative than informative.

And for the record, I'm a Christian and I jerk it frequently and don't plan on stopping when I'm married. :D
Click to expand...

high five's zilch. :p
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
I once downloaded what I thought to be a rom, and what I got was animal porn, I didn't masturbate for a few days after that. Other than that, this thread is obviously made up by a liar.

Beating it can only lead to better jism control. Think about it.
 
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