Apparently, guys fake orgasms more than women do
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Foghorn Leghorn
Unconfirmed Member
Real easy to fake with a condom on.
I dated this girl who made me have sex 3 or 4 times in a row, condomless, every night, so I wouldn't cheat. It was great in the beginning, but after a few months it got annoying and tiring. I started faking the 3d and 4th times, by that time it's just drops anyways. (The horror she put me through lol).
I dated this girl who made me have sex 3 or 4 times in a row, condomless, every night, so I wouldn't cheat. It was great in the beginning, but after a few months it got annoying and tiring. I started faking the 3d and 4th times, by that time it's just drops anyways. (The horror she put me through lol).
TOM f'N CRUISE
Member
its better then getting a ticket driving drunk
Don't flush condoms ffs
Truth.
Culebra 64
Member
TOM f'N CRUISE
Member
but isn't whiskey dick not even being able to get it up?? since i drink mainly vodka i was calling it vodka dick where i can get hard but theirs no way in hell im cumming :/
SeriousApes
Member
.
Lol it's not like whiskey and vodka have different mystical alchemical properties, they're alcohol. Work the same. Act as a general anesthetic.
apocalidiot
Banned
Looool. I really hope this dude fake cums his pants every time he gets a lap dance. What a weird reputation to have
Not going to happen. Can't just be leaving DNA sitting around like that.
SJRB
Gold Member
It's the same thing, I guess. I can go for hours until it basically gets so hot from friction it starts smoking and cinders and shit come off.
Then I just say "I guess we should continue this tomorrow" or something. It's awful but that's the risk of heavy drinking and sex afterwards.
ConfusingJazz
Member
Honestly, I want to know his reasoning. Strippers are doing it for the cash, nothing else.
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
I can understand stopping but why bother faking it? It's not like someone is gonna walk out of the closet and give you an Oscar.
Foghorn Leghorn
Unconfirmed Member
LMAO. I've never heard of or saw anyone doing this. Those strippers probably think he's crazy, doing his finishing jerks and twitches at the end of a 2-3 minute song.
Edit: And he said "I've had to fake it nearly every time I've had a lap dance." so he has cummed his pants for real before.
He probably thought that was what everyone else was doing and tried to fit in. He needs to start a thread of his own lol.
Bilbo_T_Baggins
Member
Wut? I don't think that's ever a stripper's intention....
Because it's the polite thing to do. Like when getting a bad cookie from the old single grandma from across the street.
Neuromancer
Member
Why fake it, why not be honest and just say 'eh things just aren't really working tonight' or something? Seems like a lot of wasted effort to try to make someone feel better. These things happen, if your partner is reasonable I'm sure she/he'll understand.
ConfusingJazz
Member
I was doing it for a partner's ego. Despite trying to tell her sometimes it just won't, she was insistent on it. It wasn't worth it past that, so I just started faking it.
I've definitely faked a few times.
It's actually very easy. There is, of course, the condom obscuring things. But, even if it weren't for the condom, guys don't cum every time they orgasm - especially if we've gone multiple rounds or jacked off earlier. Takes time to produce semen, you know. I've had my fair share of dry orgasms.
So you just tell the guy (or girl, in the case of you straights) that you jacked off earlier and, boom, there's your perfectly valid excuse for no semen.
It's actually very easy. There is, of course, the condom obscuring things. But, even if it weren't for the condom, guys don't cum every time they orgasm - especially if we've gone multiple rounds or jacked off earlier. Takes time to produce semen, you know. I've had my fair share of dry orgasms.
So you just tell the guy (or girl, in the case of you straights) that you jacked off earlier and, boom, there's your perfectly valid excuse for no semen.
You know they talked about him even if he only did it once lol, I hope he did this with a group of his friend and none of them told him that was weird
IISANDERII
Member
Yeah they do, they want repeat business.
Sure seems like it to me when they put their hands on your cock, trying to jerk you off through your pants.
What if I don't jack off, what if I don't got hands.
Gozer the Gozerian
Member
One time my ex-gf was giving me a blowjob and thought i finished when I didn't, how does that even make sense did I pee a little?
Maybe you precum a lot?
Maybe she confused her saliva buildup for your semen?
It could happen.
She needed an out? You good? I'm good.
Nemesis121
Member
Never had a bad one night stand? i have had a few and faking it was the best way to GTFO...
Gozer the Gozerian
Member
SneakyStephan
Banned
Most akward post of the week, congrats
IISANDERII
Member
That's nothing, you shoulda been there.
Vicetrailia
Banned
Meh, of course there are reasons why.
1) Too Drunk
2) No more fishes in the pond and it'll take too long to produce some more the same day.
1) Too Drunk
2) No more fishes in the pond and it'll take too long to produce some more the same day.
How do you not know
? I don't know about you, but I always experience a temporary sense of uh, euphoria (for lack of a better word) when I reach climax.Question of the hour. Lets clear this up right now. NO it doesn't work. If it appears to work, then you were giving a lap dance to IISANDERII
cuevas. PhD.
Member
yup
Zuhzuhzombie!!
Member
Yeah. It can be enjoyable without getting there.
Sometimes it gets too hot and sweaty. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is sweaty and hot.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
wait.. so that white stuff is yeast infection????????
Gozer the Gozerian
Member
How do you not know
She thought I finished. I knew I didn't finish. Also,
Orgasm. The word you are looking for is orgasm.
Ah, misread your post. My mistake.
Orgasm isn't a 'sense' lol, it describes the state but not the underlying sensations per se. Which is why I specifically used the word euphoria.
LyleLanley
Banned
This is one of the funniest things I've read in a while.
youngwerther
Banned
I knew the robots would show up.
WHY HU-MAN FAKE.
WHY HU-MAN FAKE.
keeblerdrow
Member
Do not flush your condoms. Municipal waste treatment is not built to handle those materials.
It's not your bread.
youngwerther
Banned
Ace Harding
Member
Oh my god you guys, I can't...
I can't even... I can't hold it... UAAAGHHHHHHH UUGGHHHHHHHH OHHHHH UHHHHHH FUUUUUUUCKKKKKK OH MY GOG OOOOOH FUUUUUUCK OAAAAGHHHH
Shit seriously I just came.
I can't even... I can't hold it... UAAAGHHHHHHH UUGGHHHHHHHH OHHHHH UHHHHHH FUUUUUUUCKKKKKK OH MY GOG OOOOOH FUUUUUUCK OAAAAGHHHH
Shit seriously I just came.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
Flush them down to send those facilities a message - time to upgrade toa dsystem thatc an handle condoms.
We are so fucking fucked.
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