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[NipplesAndToes23]

How much experience you have bigkrev? I feel like I can't get shit because all I've ever did was work at a warehouse, some online journalism, and I had a short internship at a TV station. I want to be like you. I'm tired of being broke.

 

[SOLDIER]

After having been out of full-time work since January 2016, I just started my next full-time position 2 weeks ago, and somehow got a $5000 raise over what I had been making at my last job?!?

I probably applied to 1000 jobs, got contacted back on 50ish of them, had in-person interviews with 20 of them, and had second interviews with 3 of them. I never had a single phone interview turn in to an in-person interview, and on well over half of my in-person interviews, the application process was e-mailing a resume and cover letter- not entering the data into a website.

I mostly used Higheredjobs (I was primarily looking for an administrator role at a college), but also used Linkedin, Indeed, Ziprecruiter and Beyond. I never got anything other than spam/fake job contacts from Ziprecruiter, Got one bite from Beyond (for a shitty sales job I was massivly overqualified for), and had some success with Linkedin.

I'm not sure what I would emphasize- I wasn't applying to things that had technical aspects to interviews (Project/Grant management/administration roles), so mostly what I had to focus on for interviews was taking my previous experiences and explain why I felt they prepared me for this position. I guess I was also terrible at filling out online job forms/doing those shitty personality tests- I had way more success just sending resumes out!

My heart goes out to people working shitty jobs full-time and trying to apply places. 3 months ago, with my unemployment checks stopping, I took a call center job, and it just drained me on a daily basis. Thankfully, I had applied to where I am now a month before starting (if you thought your industry moved slowly in the hiring process, let me tell you about Higher Ed!), because it was a struggle to apply to even a single job after coming home each day!

What's the best way to search for jobs on LinkedIn?

 

[bigkrev]

What's the best way to search for jobs on LinkedIn?

I was just using the recommended jobs tab on Linkedin. My work experiences were specific enough it did a good job filtering in jobs that were relevant to me. For example, my previous job had been managing grant accounts for a college nursing department, and my one before that was working on a grant project relating to computerized test scores at a different college. It managed to feed me not just jobs in colleges or grant related positions, it also fed me hospital jobs I was qualified for (because of the years of working in a field relating to nursing), low level data analysis jobs, ect.

 

[NipplesAndToes23]

I looked up Higher Ed. Looks like it's only university jobs there and none that are entry level. Looked up Beyond and all I see are CDL and Nursing jobs.

ZipRecruiter I've used before too and all I got from there were sales jobs, the one I interviewed for from there I got fired last week for not making a sale in my first 4 days. Most of the jobs I see on Zip are sales jobs and account executive shit. None that I can qualify for. Zip also sends me too many fucking emails.

 

[esmith08734]

I've been coaching my roommate on how to do an interview (he graduated from college in May and has been looking for a full time job since April). He's started working contacts to get interviews but can't seem to wrap his head around the fact that the interviewer has all the power in a job interview if they know you don't have a full time job already, and keeps saying things that make himself completely ineligible as a potential hire. I'm going to coach him some more this weekend, see if we can't get him on his feet and out of my house.

Reminds me of one of my roommates back in the day. Had a degree in a non-competitive, non-technical field. His GPA was south of 2.5 and thought he could command a $120k starting salary after graduation. I couldn't help but laugh.

 

[bigkrev]

I looked up Higher Ed. Looks like it's only university jobs there and none that are entry level. Looked up Beyond and all I see are CDL and Nursing jobs.

Well, yeah, Higher Ed Jobs is just jobs in higher education, lol. I've seen everything from University president jobs to part time snow shovelers on there. That said, most Staff positions at schools are going to need some (6months-1year) experience even for the lowest level stuff.

He keeps telling them that he wants to move up. You should never say this in an interview. He doesn't even have the job yet and he's telling the interviewer that he won't be satisfied with his job if he doesn't get promoted in a timeframe he deems appropriate. If you are asked where you see yourself in 5 years at this company, respond that you want to be the best (position title you are interviewing for) you can be.

He always tries to discuss money in an interview. Once again, you should never do this. You can discuss money if they extend a job offer, never before.

In an interview, the interviewer has all the power. When a job offer is made after the interview, some (or none) of the power shifts back to the interviewee, depending on how desperate the company is to hire someone for this position, and how attractive of a candidate you are.

Oh lord lol. NEVER discuss money unless they bring it up, and even then, holding your salary requirement as long as possible is one of the few leverage things you have!

 

[NipplesAndToes23]

He keeps telling them that he wants to move up. You should never say this in an interview. He doesn't even have the job yet and he's telling the interviewer that he won't be satisfied with his job if he doesn't get promoted in a timeframe he deems appropriate. If you are asked where you see yourself in 5 years at this company, respond that you want to be the best (position title you are interviewing for) you can be.

He always tries to discuss money in an interview. Once again, you should never do this. You can discuss money if they extend a job offer, never before.

In an interview, the interviewer has all the power. When a job offer is made after the interview, some (or none) of the power shifts back to the interviewee, depending on how desperate the company is to hire someone for this position, and how attractive of a candidate you are.

Really, because in interviews I've had they straight up said they didn't want to hear that shit and tell you stories about how some other people have advanced in a couple years or a few months. That sounds right on his part to me.

 

[The Last Wizard]

Anyone have some ideas about places for a college student? Most retail will want long hours and shifts. I'm gonna try my campus career center.

The place I'm at now wants too many hours and with me doing computer science as a major that's just madness.

 

[NipplesAndToes23]

I wonder. Should I bother at all with places that require experience even if it's just 1 year or 6 months? I'm desperate so most of the time I apply for those anyway, but I just wonder if I'm actually just wasting my time.

 

[Flux]

I wonder. Should I bother at all with places that require experience even if it's just 1 year or 6 months? I'm desperate so most of the time I apply for those anyway, but I just wonder if I'm actually just wasting my time.

Yes. Because that is just what they envision for the role. The majority won't fulfill all the job posting requirements.

 

[esmith08734]

Twiddling my thumbs. My recruiter said they will be moving with an offer but that was last week. I haven't heard anything. I know it was a long holiday weekend but I hope things go through. I am a bit nervous.

 

[perfectchaos007]

I appreciate it when companies send me rejection letters. So much better than the usual non-response

 

[mhayes86]

Anyone have some ideas about places for a college student? Most retail will want long hours and shifts. I'm gonna try my campus career center.

The place I'm at now wants too many hours and with me doing computer science as a major that's just madness.

I was working retail while commuting to my college full time. They wanted me to increase my hours especially for the upcoming fourth quarter, but I said eff it and quit. I just didn't have the time to help out at home after my father passed away, work, and be a full-time student. I used my student loans to keep me afloat, which I do not regret one bit.

Anyway, you can check with your professors to see if there's any tutoring positions available on campus. I was offered a programming tutorship at one point. Decent pay, good experience, and great resume material.

 

[SOLDIER]

I was just using the recommended jobs tab on Linkedin. My work experiences were specific enough it did a good job filtering in jobs that were relevant to me. For example, my previous job had been managing grant accounts for a college nursing department, and my one before that was working on a grant project relating to computerized test scores at a different college. It managed to feed me not just jobs in colleges or grant related positions, it also fed me hospital jobs I was qualified for (because of the years of working in a field relating to nursing), low level data analysis jobs, ect.

Thanks for the advice.

Here's my profile by the way, if you got any tips on how to improve it: https://www.linkedin.com/in/primoman/

 

[Forerunner]

Well, the FBI got back to me. The good news is I can retest. The bad news, if I fail I can never apply again…

I know it’s the logic-based reasoning portion I’m messing up on. People are recommending I get a LSAT study guide and study the logical reasoning section. Fuck I hate testing especially when the stakes are high. I better getting studying.

 

[Amani]

Boy am I getting desperate for a job. Almost applied to a dog walking service called Wag!, which promised $30 for every half hour walk completed. Was gonna go through with it, until they got back to me, asking for another knowledge test on leash types. The kicker is that they wanted an "onboarding fee" of $25. As in, I pay THEM to hire me. So yeah, no dog walking for me, though the 30 bucks thing should've been a big hint.

So here I am, back to re-doing my resume of nothing but an art degree and a few retail positions. I've been applying on Indeed and my university's job app, but nothing yet.

 

[gazele]

Boy am I getting desperate for a job. Almost applied to a dog walking service called Wag!, which promised $30 for every half hour walk completed. Was gonna go through with it, until they got back to me, asking for another knowledge test on leash types. The kicker is that they wanted an "onboarding fee" of $25. As in, I pay THEM to hire me. So yeah, no dog walking for me, though the 30 bucks thing should've been a big hint.

So here I am, back to re-doing my resume of nothing but an art degree and a few retail positions. I've been applying on Indeed and my university's job app, but nothing yet.

What kinds of jobs are you applying for? Have any UX experience? That seems to be in relative demand, maybe go for an internship if you don't have a lot of experience. But an art degree can be useful, depends on the area you live of course also

It's definitely frustrating though, it's tempting to take anything when (if you can) you should try to hold out for something you'll enjoy, aligns with your experience, and sets you up for the future

 

[jey_16]

What do you do GAF when your new job sucks? I left my old company after getting screwed over on some promotions due to internal politics and decided to take a slightly different career path after getting an opportunity at massive company which is hard to get into

The problem is, that the work is not for me at all. It's just ridiculously boring combined with the terrible systems make everything so tedious. My team is actually really friendly and my boss is great but it's really depressing, it's even the little things like being back working in a cubicle farm with zero natural light makes me dread going to work in the mornings

The issue is after going to an interview with another company yesterday, they have concerns as to why I want to leave my current position so soon (about 2 months) and return to a role similar to what I was doing previously so I doubt I'm going to get it

So now I feel stuck and not really sure what I can do, for the first time in my life I feel hopeless

 

[Amani]

What kinds of jobs are you applying for? Have any UX experience? That seems to be in relative demand, maybe go for an internship if you don't have a lot of experience. But an art degree can be useful, depends on the area you live of course also

It's definitely frustrating though, it's tempting to take anything when (if you can) you should try to hold out for something you'll enjoy, aligns with your experience, and sets you up for the future

What's UX? I have been looking into internships, though most of the one's are unpayed. Right now, the goal is to grab a decent paying job to get enough money to be able to move out by no later than next year.

Most of the jobs I've been going for are office assistant positions, jobs with the library, and jobs with museums.

 

[Forerunner]

What do you do GAF when your new job sucks? I left my old company after getting screwed over on some promotions due to internal politics and decided to take a slightly different career path after getting an opportunity at massive company which is hard to get into

The problem is, that the work is not for me at all. It's just ridiculously boring combined with the terrible systems make everything so tedious. My team is actually really friendly and my boss is great but it's really depressing, it's even the little things like being back working in a cubicle farm with zero natural light makes me dread going to work in the mornings

The issue is after going to an interview with another company yesterday, they have concerns as to why I want to leave my current position so soon (about 2 months) and return to a role similar to what I was doing previously so I doubt I'm going to get it

So now I feel stuck and not really sure what I can do, for the first time in my life I feel hopeless

My current job is like that, I don’t like the work at all (federal correctional officer). I’ve been here around nine months now and I just want out. There are days I just want to walk into HR and be like I quit. However, I don’t because I know how bad it would look on my resume. I mean I do my job and I do it well, but it can be an extremely stressful and toxic environment. Prison is also mundane and routine for the most part. I’ll always be grateful to the BOP though. They gave me a decent job right out of college and in my home city. I mean I couldn’t ask for more than that, plus now I have better opportunities getting into another agency since I’m in the system now. Corrections is just not for me and there is no way I’d make a career out of it. I got some good experience, but I’ve seen what I need to. So I just keep trucking along at work, while applying for what I want to do. Sometimes I feel stuck because the government is so slow when it comes to hiring, and there really aren’t that many positions and openings for what I want. Plus it’s extremely competitive.


On the bright side you still have a job. If people ask, I’d just tell them it wasn’t for you and leave it at that. They can’t fault someone for branching out and trying something different. If you don’t like the work then you don’t like it. Nothing is going to change that. I’d also let them know what issues you had with it (cubicle farm with no natural light and the subpar systems).

 

[Kieli]

What's UX? I have been looking into internships, though most of the one's are unpayed. Right now, the goal is to grab a decent paying job to get enough money to be able to move out by no later than next year.

Most of the jobs I've been going for are office assistant positions, jobs with the library, and jobs with museums.

UX is user experience. Refers to crafting UI's (user interface) for apps, websites, software, etc... In other words, the buttons and stuff you tap or click on, and pretty much anything you see/interact with when you open any sort of software.

Usually companies hire designers for this. Work involves creating icons, promotional materials, artwork for company to use and drafting wireframes for products.

 

[gazele]

UX is user experience. Refers to crafting UI's (user interface) for apps, websites, software, etc... In other words, the buttons and stuff you tap or click on, and pretty much anything you see/interact with when you open any sort of software.

Usually companies hire designers for this. Work involves creating icons, promotional materials, artwork for company to use and drafting wireframes for products.

Yep, if I had any artistic talent that's the direction I'd go, pretty interesting stuff, there are definitely ways to use an art degree in business and tech if that's something that interests you

I think the main thing is to try to find a job that lines up with your degree, or if not, you're pretty sure is the field you want to be in and that you'll enjoy

Obviously this is easier said than done and I'm in a similar boat, feeling desperate and willing to do any job almost, but you have to think of the long term also

 

[wandering]

What's UX? I have been looking into internships, though most of the one's are unpayed. Right now, the goal is to grab a decent paying job to get enough money to be able to move out by no later than next year.

Most of the jobs I've been going for are office assistant positions, jobs with the library, and jobs with museums.

Hey, I'm not alone! All my friends are either film school peeps working at production houses or CS/info/engineering grads making bank, and here I am with my humanities degree applying for basic office jobs.

 

[esmith08734]

My current job is like that, I don’t like the work at all (federal correctional officer). I’ve been here around nine months now and I just want out. There are days I just want to walk into HR and be like I quit. However, I don’t because I know how bad it would look on my resume. I mean I do my job and I do it well, but it can be an extremely stressful and toxic environment. Prison is also mundane and routine for the most part. I’ll always be grateful to the BOP though. They gave me a decent job right out of college and in my home city. I mean I couldn’t ask for more than that, plus now I have better opportunities getting into another agency since I’m in the system now. Corrections is just not for me and there is no way I’d make a career out of it. I got some good experience, but I’ve seen what I need to. So I just keep trucking along at work, while applying for what I want to do. Sometimes I feel stuck because the government is so slow when it comes to hiring, and there really aren’t that many positions and openings for what I want. Plus it’s extremely competitive.


On the bright side you still have a job. If people ask, I’d just tell them it wasn’t for you and leave it at that. They can’t fault someone for branching out and trying something different. If you don’t like the work then you don’t like it. Nothing is going to change that. I’d also let them know what issues you had with it (cubicle farm with no natural light and the subpar systems).

Why would leaving after 9 months look bad? It's not exactly ideal but I don't think it will ruin your resume at all.

Is this without putting your two weeks in?

 

[Forerunner]

Why would leaving after 9 months look bad? It's not exactly ideal but I don't think it will ruin your resume at all.

Is this without putting your two weeks in?

If I ever quit, I’d definitely put in a two week notice. No sense in burning bridges. I’d like to go at least a year before I decide to quit. That way I can truly say I gave it a chance and it just wasn’t for me. However, there really is no point of me quitting. I do dislike it, but the benefits are nice. Plus I need to hang on to it until I get another job. For instance, if I pass my FBI retest, the whole hiring process is still six months to a year. If I quit, I feel like it would have more of a negative impact on my career goals. Short term, I’d probably be happier, but long term I believe it would be more detrimental. So I’m just in the position of sucking it up until I get what I want.

 

[br3wnor]

If I ever quit, I’d definitely put in a two week notice. No sense in burning bridges. I’d like to go at least a year before I decide to quit. That way I can truly say I gave it a chance and it just wasn’t for me. However, there really is no point of me quitting. I do dislike it, but the benefits are nice. Plus I need to hang on to it until I get another job. For instance, if I pass my FBI retest, the whole hiring process is still six months to a year. If I quit, I feel like it would have more of a negative impact on my career goals. Short term, I’d probably be happier, but long term I believe it would be more detrimental. So I’m just in the position of sucking it up until I get what I want.

Absolutely, never want to quit w/out a new job in hand or you’re back in school or something that fills the resume gap. While the immediate “Finally, FUCK this place, I quit!” Euphoria will be nice, that’ll go away quickly enough and then you’re stuck jobless, a gap in your resume growing and ultimately you scrambling to find a new job.

As long as the job isn’t a hazard to your physical or mental health, it’s always worth sticking out until you have something else lined up. Especially if you’re searching for something w/ a protracted hiring process like the FBI.

Have you given thought about federal court officer jobs? It’s not going to be exciting, but the pay/benefits are great and you basically either screen people coming into court houses or stand in the court rooms themselves to protect the judge/lawyers/bystanders. You’re already in the federal system so should be easier to snag than someone from the outside. Definitely a lot less stress but won’t exactly exercise your brain either.

 

[Forerunner]

Absolutely, never want to quit w/out a new job in hand or you’re back in school or something that fills the resume gap. While the immediate “Finally, FUCK this place, I quit!” Euphoria will be nice, that’ll go away quickly enough and then you’re stuck jobless, a gap in your resume growing and ultimately you scrambling to find a new job.

As long as the job isn’t a hazard to your physical or mental health, it’s always worth sticking out until you have something else lined up. Especially if you’re searching for something w/ a protracted hiring process like the FBI.

Have you given thought about federal court officer jobs? It’s not going to be exciting, but the pay/benefits are great and you basically either screen people coming into court houses or stand in the court rooms themselves to protect the judge/lawyers/bystanders. You’re already in the federal system so should be easier to snag than someone from the outside. Definitely a lot less stress but won’t exactly exercise your brain either.

Well, I definitely want to stay in federal law enforcement; my main goal is to get an 1811 position (special agent). Obviously, if I got the FBI SA I’d be ecstatic since that is the cream out the crop, but I would love an 1811 with any agency (DEA, ATF, NOAA and etc). I got referred for an 1810 (investigator), it’s not law enforcement but it’s still investigation. So this would be excellent experience for an 1811.

I think I need to slow down a bit; I’ve only been at it nine months now. I need to realize this isn’t a race and things will come. I’m 28, so I still have time on my side.

 

[esmith08734]

It's been 8 days since I was told I would be getting an offer. I haven't heard anything. Was thinking of contacting the recruiter but don't want to sound impatient. What do you all think?

 

[Amani]

UX is user experience. Refers to crafting UI's (user interface) for apps, websites, software, etc... In other words, the buttons and stuff you tap or click on, and pretty much anything you see/interact with when you open any sort of software.

Usually companies hire designers for this. Work involves creating icons, promotional materials, artwork for company to use and drafting wireframes for products.

Yep, if I had any artistic talent that's the direction I'd go, pretty interesting stuff, there are definitely ways to use an art degree in business and tech if that's something that interests you

I think the main thing is to try to find a job that lines up with your degree, or if not, you're pretty sure is the field you want to be in and that you'll enjoy

Obviously this is easier said than done and I'm in a similar boat, feeling desperate and willing to do any job almost, but you have to think of the long term also

I never thought about designing UIs, but that definitely sounds interesting. Plus I do have the skillset to at least be able to learn it quickly. I'll keep it in mind going forward, thanks folks.

 

[esmith08734]

Well, I sent an email. No response yet. The recruiter usually responds within minutes and it's been a few hours so something is going on.

I just asked for any updates. I mentioned that my preference is to work for them but I am getting contacted from other companies (which is true) and need to handle them accordingly.

It makes me think that they are bailing on me or have nothing to report but don't want to tell me that so I look for other jobs. I guess I'll forget about them for now and concentrate on other positions.

 

[Merchandise]

One of those "immediately begin screening" jobs got back to me, interview next week. Likely going to bomb it because I get nervous, especially because I'm so desperate, so...

 

[Slo]

It makes me think that they are bailing on me or have nothing to report but don't want to tell me that so I look for other jobs.

If they moved on, then they've probably just dropped all contact. They're not actively trying to sabotage you or keep you from getting other jobs, that'd be too much effort.

But unfortunately you're right, I would have expected an offer by now.

I guess I'll forget about them for now and concentrate on other positions.

Good idea. Just keep applying. This isn't a time for monogamy, put out a couple dozen resumes every few days until you're employed.

 

[Dangansona]

Recent CS grad who is set to move to Germany and look for a junior or even intern Web Dev job. I probably sent out like 30 applications with all no's (although who knows how much of that is attributed to lack of German skills). It ended up taking the loosest of connections to get a Skype call. Now they want me to stop by the office when I arrive in Germany. He sounded very optimistic on the Skype call.

I just wonder how much stock I can put in that working out. I'm not exactly looking forward to going through another 30 applications.

 

[PandaPandaPanda]

One of those "immediately begin screening" jobs got back to me, interview next week. Likely going to bomb it because I get nervous, especially because I'm so desperate, so...

look up basic interview questions, and practice them. If you have a family member/friend who can ask you the questions-even better

If that isn't possible, go stand in front of a mirror and practice practice practice

 

[Brawly Likes to Brawl]

Trying to find some part-time work now that I'm back in school. The process of submitting applications and writing cover letters is so frustrating. I'm hoping that once my GPA updates in two weeks I can get better luck in trying to snag an internship.

 

[Daria]

Got a phone interview a day after applying and am suppose to hear back from the GM within the next day or two. Wishing this goes through so i can get out of the healthcare field.

also, would it be wrong to give my current employer a 2 week notice today about dropping my hours? This is independent from getting the other job. I was gonna tell them it takes affect Aug 1 and I was gonna drop my availability anyway for school but they posted it early. They'd have to cover a week or two.

 

[esmith08734]

If they moved on, then they've probably just dropped all contact. They're not actively trying to sabotage you or keep you from getting other jobs, that'd be too much effort.

But unfortunately you're right, I would have expected an offer by now.



Good idea. Just keep applying. This isn't a time for monogamy, put out a couple dozen resumes every few days until you're employed.

Yep, it's my luck in a nutshell.

 

[esmith08734]

Okay, recruiter just called. They finished the offer. He left a voicemail so now we are playing phone tag, lol

 

[LegendofDragoonLives]

My job has really turned up the boring-o-meter by many notches these last few months, but even moreso the last three weeks. No longer doing much UI design and front-end dev, and recently I've been working on data entry which is easily the most boring fucking thing I've ever done in a job. I don't even know how people could stomach this as a long-term job. Brutal.

I'm pretty much working on 3 separate projects post-work however (30-55 hours on top of the 40 hours a week). If I wasn't working on those projects which all range in different subjects in the creative field, I think I would look for a new job extremely aggressively. Instead, I kind of just rely on recruiters, but they seem to push for more jobs that I no longer want to deviate towards (UX/front-end development & such). I get why, but I'll be heading towards UI/UX design for apps as a new job from now on. I am also building my resume right now with one of the projects being an app I'm creating with programmers (I'm the only designer), hoping to get that done since I feel my portfolio will be beefed up to a (necessary) great level after this app's done.

Yeah, I'd love to just find a company and create a portfolio webpage for them specifically, but I just can't leave any of the projects I'm working on to do this. Truly a case of wanting your cake and eating it too, but at least I'm aware of it. -_-

 

[bigkrev]

One of those "immediately begin screening" jobs got back to me, interview next week. Likely going to bomb it because I get nervous, especially because I'm so desperate, so...

Have an answer for the following questions
-"Tell me about yourself"
-"What are your greatest strengths/weaknesses"
-"Why do you want this job"

-Have 3 or 4 interesting stories prepped, that can be molded to answer questions like "What are you most proud of", "Tell us about a time you failed", "Tell us about a workplace conflict you have had", ect.

-Look up the people you are interviewing with in Linkedin- are they almuni of the school you went to? How long have they been at the company? Did they start with a really low position and work up to where they are now? Does it look like they were in a completely different field before this position? You are going to have the oppertunity to ask these people questions, so prepare 2-3 for each person. You can go general, like "What do you like about working here"

I was fucking TERRIBLE at interviews for my first few months. It was something where I needed to get a rythem down after reps. Don't stress out too much, and reward yourself afterwards. Look up a cool place nearby for lunch and go there when you are done.

 

[esmith08734]

Got an offer - $20k raise on what I make now.

 

[TheOfficeMut]

I have an interview later this afternoon for a compliance position with another large company. I currently work in compliance at an investment bank and the place I'm interviewing is an entertainment company.

I had a phone interview 3-4 weeks ago which seemed to go well enough because a week after they wanted to schedule a group interview with me which is today. I'm a little nervous but I'm trying not to be.

My biggest issue is always saying too much or not knowing when to stop. I want to be able to describe my position in a concise opening statement, you know, when they ask, "so what are you currently doing?"

What are some good tips? If I am asked "what is it that you currently do," is the best advice that I simply give a summary rather than a detailed description?

What I'd like my opening statement to be is: "I work in compliance at [insert company] where I have been for [number of years]. I specifically focus on AML/EDD standards and prepare reports to satisfy regulatory requirements as defined by the U.S. Patriot Act and other legal statutes."

And from there wait for them to ask for specifics, such as what we specifically look for and what resources we utilize? I don't want to blow my load on my opening statement, which is what I TEND TO DO.

:[

Got an offer - $20k raise on what I make now.

Congrats!

 

[NipplesAndToes23]

I'm really trying to say fuck a job at this moment, but I don't have enough money to start my own business and even selling off some of my art and games won't be enough. I'm just really tired of this shit.

 

[megatronium]

Got an offer - $20k raise on what I make now.

Congrats!!!

 

[LosDaddie]

Recruiters are (generally) dishonest dipshits. We can agree on this, right?

So I had a recruiter named Michael Smith send me a connection request on LinkedIn yesterday. Nothing out of the ordinary, as I'm an electrical PE (recruiters contact me all the time). I accept the request and get a call few hours later as I'm getting ready to leave the office. The dude has a very thick Indian accent and it's difficult to understand him...plus I'm busy trying to leave work. I tell the guy to call me back in about an hour when I'm free and we can talk.

I get home, check my email, and I have an email from some guy named Rajesh Kumar thanking me for accepting his LinkedIn request, taking his call earlier, and then goes on with the job description. I'm like "Who the fuck is this guy?!?" and it hits me that it's the real name of the "Michael Smith" who sent me the LinkedIn request. I delete the email and remove the connection on LinkedIn.

Fuck recruiters.

 

[Daria]

I'm really trying to say fuck a job at this moment, but I don't have enough money to start my own business and even selling off some of my art and games won't be enough. I'm just really tired of this shit.

Try to do something with Amazon marketplace. I know a couple who can support a family off one mediocre salary and the rest from Amazon. With being an artist, think of how many items you need: brushes, paints, canvas, etc.

Find a niche product, buy a couple samples from overseas, buy in bulk, ship to amazon and let them do the rest. You sit back and profit.

 

[entremet]

Recruiters are (generally) dishonest dipshits. We can agree on this, right?

So I had a recruiter named Michael Smith send me a connection request on LinkedIn yesterday. Nothing out of the ordinary, as I'm an electrical PE (recruiters contact me all the time). I accept the request and get a call few hours later as I'm getting ready to leave the office. The dude has a very thick Indian accent and it's difficult to understand him...plus I'm busy trying to leave work. I tell the guy to call me back in about an hour when I'm free and we can talk.

I get home, check my email, and I have an email from some guy named Rajesh Kumar thanking me for accepting his LinkedIn request, taking his call earlier, and then goes on with the job description. I'm like "Who the fuck is this guy?!?" and it hits me that it's the real name of the "Michael Smith" who sent me the LinkedIn request. I delete the email and remove the connection on LinkedIn.

Fuck recruiters.

Well they're salespeople. Many suck. Many are pushy. Many are dishonest. There some that are amazing, though.

 

[esmith08734]

The company I would be working for just dominates my current company.

A $20k raise for the same line of work
Will pay for a siginificant portion of my tuition
Will pay up to $10k to relocate

I am a little nervous because the project I am currently working on is severely understaffed and I am kind of spear-heading it. Also, I am kind of not sure how to give my two weeks notice in a professional matter.

 

[Daria]

The company I would be working for just dominates my current company.

A $20k raise for the same line of work
Will pay for a siginificant portion of my tuition
Will pay up to $10k to relocate

I am a little nervous because the project I am currently working on is severely understaffed and I am kind of spear-heading it. Also, I am kind of not sure how to give my two weeks notice in a professional matter.

Type up a thoughtful resignation letter, express your concerns about your current project but make it clear that you have been given a better opportunity that is ultimately more beneficial to you right now than what your current position is offering you. They might come back and try to up your pay to keep you and then the ball will be in your court. You could try negotiating your current salary beforehand because a 20k jump and relocation allowance seems like they're trying to accommodate for a higher COL so take that into account.

 

[blazenumb1]

Longtime lurker of this thread. I have been at my job for almost seven years and the last two have been terrible.

Finally after numerous interviews and rejections I received an offer that was 20k more than I'm making now with an annual bonus and more vacation. So happy I'm grinning ear to ear.