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[obijkenobi]

So I was watching WWE Download today. I came across episode 10. First of all, who edits this stuff? I could barely hear Dolph.

Second: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0_BTwEUJ6Y&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Skip to about the 5 minute mark in the video. How the fuck is this possible? I mean what work outs and drugs do you have to do to contort your body like that?!? Gross

 

[ViewtifulJC]

Batista!

 

[Cagey]

So I was watching WWE Download today. I came across episode 10. First of all, who edits this stuff? I could barely hear Dolph.

Second: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0_BTwEUJ6Y&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Skip to about the 5 minute mark in the video. How the fuck is this possible? I mean what work outs and drugs do you have to do to contort your body like that?!? Gross

It's synthol, not actual muscle. He injected synthetic oil into his pecs and delts (oddly not much in his arms... which is where most people go bonkers with the shit) to swell up the muscle. It's akin to filling a balloon with water. But muscles don't grow like a balloon swelling with water into a big round blob, they grow dense and much flatter.

It's painfully obvious and makes people who use synthol like this look like fucking douches, but lack of self-awareness is bliss, man.

 

[obijkenobi]

It's synthol, not actual muscle. He injected synthetic oil into his pecs and delts (oddly not much in his arms... which is where most people go bonkers with the shit) to swell up the muscle. It's akin to filling a balloon with water.

It's also painfully obvious and makes people who use synthol like this look like fucking douches, but lack of self-awareness is bliss, man.

wat? Seriously???? So the only point is to swell the muscles? That has to do long term damage right?

 

[Cagey]

wat? Seriously???? So the only point is to swell the muscles? That has to do long term damage right?

Yep, but if you're insecure and think hilariously fake muscles will convince teh bitchezz that you bench 405 and have natural 20 inch arms, to hell with "long term damage"!

EDIT: Google image search, lots of lulz.

 

[A Pretty Panda]

http://youtu.be/-IXnv-kkcyQ?t=2m37s

Hey look it's how Triple H talks about everything.

 

[mechashiva]

I was in the center of the stadium in the club section and I was very happy with my seat. I was able to see everything unobstructed. If I wasn't able to see something or I needed a closer look I had three huge viewing boards to look at. Also next year will probably be cold and a heated club area would be nice to go to during the divas match.

I might say screw it though next year and try to get something in the fist five rows. Brock vs The Rock is going to be insane live..... Like 10x more insane then this year. Any anyone know the best way to go about this? I'm thinking travel package. If so what were the prices this year?

This year platinum was guaranteed rows 1-4 and for 2 man about $2600 per person. Rows 5-10 about $1600 per for 2. The problem is last year I was second f'n row and still had someone obstructing my view a lot of the show. Row 8 you may hate yourself for dumping that much money and not seeing it. Loved my 100 level this year.

 

[Biggest-Geek-Ever]

http://youtu.be/-IXnv-kkcyQ?t=2m37s

Hey look it's how Triple H talks about everything.

Unlike Jericho, Triple H won't deny inventing Canada.

 

[Pristine_Condition]

Even Steiner's tweets need captions.

Good idea.

I've taken the liberty of getting two translators to help sort this matter out...hope it helps.


...

* When these assholes got control they tried to takeover everybodys twitter page

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: When the current duplicitous regime came to power, they tried to annex individual performers' Twitter accounts for the purpose of extending their narrative to social media.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: Muhfuckas got the book, they go start jackin' ev n*gga's twitter.​

* u didnt have twitter they made one up for U...so u people who think yur tweeting sting its not him

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: Performers who didn't utilize Twitter ended up having Twitter accounts made in their absence, with their subsequent posts not being written by the performers as identified, but by TNA staffers at the behest of the current regime. So beware, TNA enthusiasts, if you think you are conversing with a performer, like Sting, it may actually not be him.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: U aint got that shit, they go and front like yo ass on twitter. So these muhfuckin mark-ass marks think they givin' Sting a blowjob on the iternet...it aint that n*gga...it's some other n*gga, muhfucka.​

* He told me he doesnt watch the show.so hes not tweeting about a show he doesnt watch

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: Sting told me he is uninterested in viewing TNA programming, so he's also uninterested in discussing it via social media.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: Sting ain't givin' a shit about no Impact, muhfucka. Please, n*gga.​

* Evrybody refused to sign over twitter so every wk u get an email begging u to twitter what they want

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: Performers who refused to release their social media identities to officials were sent pleading "talking-points" memos via electronic mail on a weekly basis by TNA officials, requesting that performers post those "talking-points" on their social media outlets.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: These mark-ass n*ggas send me a email every muhfuckin' week, saying [comedy "white guy" voice] "please, Mr. New Jack...please say this shit."​

* Got one today,Please tweet this;Hogan take over as GM wonder what he will do...WTF really

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: I received such a correspondence today. "Please tweet this," it read.

"What will Hulk Hogan do, now that he is General Manager?"

Honestly, I was perplexed how they expected me to take this seriously and try to incorporate this, especially considering my long-established "tough guy" persona.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: Got one a them today. But I don't give a fuck. Pay me, n*gga!​

* Even if u r not on show Please tweet..so the booking team of pritchard bischoff n hogan wont book U want u to tweet about hogan

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: Even if you are not scheduled to appear on the program, they plead with you to write about it. The temerity of the request of the team of Mr. Pritchard, Mr. Bischoff, and Mr. Hogan is breathtaking. They aren't utilizing you as a contributing performer, yet they expect you to promote their endeavor anyway?​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: This is some buhshit right here. Pay me, muhfucker. I'll jump off a muhfuckin building if you pay me. You don't pay me, you can fuck off, muhfucker.​

* Tweet about yurself hogan nobody else wants to tweet about u u fucking mark

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: I'd suggest if Mr. Hogan wants someone to promote him, he can do it himself. He's certainly filled to the brim with hubris to the point of self-delusion!​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: Tweet about yurself hogan nobody else wants to tweet about u u fucking mark​

* Im tweeting what they wish they could

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: I'm sure others within the organization desire to express themselves as freely as I can here, but they, sadly, cannot.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: I'm keepin it real, muhfucker.​

* Wondeting what hogans going to do...hmmmm...hes a fn mark so hes going to make a couple of matches that ppl want to see

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: "What will Hulk Hogan do, now that he is General Manager?"

Well, he's seemingly wrapped up in the fantasy world surrounding this particular brand of entertainment, so I'm sure he'll at least hit on a few ideas that will resonate with the audience.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: Man, I ain't givin' a fuck. Pay me, muhfucker.​

* Nothing more unprofessional than a heel wanting to be cheered

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: There's nothing more unprofessional than a performer playing the role of a villain actually wishing to be cheered by the audience instead.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: What a mark-ass bitch.​

* So ppl cheer him which pissd everybody off especially sting bcuz he had to wrestle him

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: When people, out of confusion due to his unclear performance in his role as a villain, cheered him, it angered other performers who have worked diligently in clearly establishing their characters, like Sting, who then had to attempt to still perform with him. Without the familiar context of a traditional villain-versus-hero, because of Mr. Hogan's unprofessional conduct, this was a more difficult undertaking than it should normally have been.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: Even Sting was like "fuck this, muhfucker" too...​

* Have the future of wrestling garrett do something bcuz eric told him to in booking meeting....what a fucking joke

* Now hes good but hes going to everything like he did when he was bad bcuz he was first good

* And that produced the worst ratings ever so he went bad which was just as bad as when he was good

* Then his bad wasnt any good bcuz his ratings still sucked so he turnd back to good from bad

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: The character of Garret Bischoff is in complete disarray, with no clear direction.

The television ratings for the program have slipped to unprecedented levels since Garrett has been featured, no matter what role they've asked him to play.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: I'll get that bitch-ass cracka over. Just let me blade that muhfucka and throw his ass off a balcony...​

* Wtf y'all get his bullshit ....dont forget to say BROTHER ..bcuz its fresh

* Stupid mofo

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: I am baffled by those who still indulge Mr. Hogan when he's obviously a mendacious individual. I find the constant use of the word "brother" to be quite tiresome.


He's an unintelligent sexual deviant.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: Muhfucker is played-OUT...stupid muhfucker.​

* Remember deny u had anything to do with the release of the sex tape to try n get more sales

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: I find Mr. Hogan's claims that he was unaware of a rumored video featuring himself in a sexual situation unconvincing, and would instead suggest that his denials were all a publicity stunt serving only to alert the public to it's existence, in order to garner interest in it for Hogan's own financial gain.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: ...now his bitch-ass go and drop a sex tape. Like anyone want to see his ol' wrinkled orange ass in a sex tape. I still got sex tapes of me and that crazy herpes-havin' big-titty ass bitch Terri. Big muhfuckin deal. You wanna see it? Pay me, muhfucker. Better than gotdamn Hulk Hogan's ass...​

* How kardashian of u....Homomania running wild..his shit writes itself

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: Mr. Hogan is obviously following the lead of others who have had similar "sex tape" releases. It is quite unoriginal.​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: You like that kardashian bitch now. 'Sept I'd fuck the shit outta that kardashian bitch. Yeah...big ass bitch with them nice titties. Yes.​

* His w

* His ex-wife said he was gay right!!!..hhmmm who brought in Orlando Jordan

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: His ex-wife said that Mr. Hogan prefers same-sex partners. Let me ask, who was responsible for the hiring of Orlando Jordan, a known homosexual, and was this a coincidence?​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: I heard he was suckin' that cock anyway...​

 

[Lingitiz]

Wow, D.Brine's segment on Smackdown was done really well by him. Looks like they didn't edit out the YES chants either, hard to tell though.

Edit: I think they piped in some boos. You can faintly hear the YESes.

 

[Evening Musuko]

Good idea.

I've taken the liberty of getting two translators to help sort this matter out...hope it helps.

Bah gawd the New Jack translations.

I am broken in half. XD

 

[Plywood]

Good idea.

I've taken the liberty of getting two translators to help sort this matter out...hope it helps.


...

* Tweet about yurself hogan nobody else wants to tweet about u u fucking mark

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: I'd suggest if Mr. Hogan wants someone to promote him, he can do it himself. He's certainly filled to the brim with hubris to the point of self-delusion!​

NEW JACK TRANSLATION: Tweet about yurself hogan nobody else wants to tweet about u u fucking mark​

Best bit.

From the bolded to the New Jack Translation.

 

[Seraphis Cain]

Pristine just became a WrassleGAF Hall of Famer.

 

[Biggest-Geek-Ever]

Amazing post, Pristine, Someone get that bespeckled gentleman a tag!

 

[DMczaf]

It was a decent post, but I believe Pristine_Condition didn't shake my hand.

So I'll spread rumors to the WrasslinGAF Observer that he's a dick.

 

[Biggest-Geek-Ever]

It was a decent post, but I believe Pristine_Condition didn't shake my hand.

So I'll spread rumors to the WrasslinGAF Observer that he's a dick.

He did, but I saw him secretly spit in his hand first.

 

[abstract alien]

Ok, I admit it. That was good stuff Pristine.

 

[DMczaf]

He did, but I saw him secretly spit in his hand first.

I also told the WGO that you have been having contract talks with MMA-GAF.

 

[SquashMatch]

Pristine owes me a new laptop. That was damn funny!

 

[Pristine_Condition]

It was a decent post, but I believe Pristine_Condition didn't shake my hand.

So I'll spread rumors to the WrasslinGAF Observer that he's a dick.

That's fine, DMczaf...sorry about that.

Spoiler

I'm shitting in DMczaf's suitcase RIGHT NOW, guys! LOL

 

[DMczaf]

You're lucky you're a 4th generation poster, Pristine. So lucky.

 

[Pristine_Condition]

You're lucky you're a 4th generation poster, Pristine. So lucky.

Hey, when I was learning to type, my fingers got stretched down in the basement by that crazy old fucker just like everybody else...

 

[billy beane]

Does that idiot cry at every damn occasion?

I remember watching one of the Legends of Wrestling Roundtables, and they said that back when Flair was still in the company, Cena would go up to him and tell him how much respect he has for him and this and that, and Flair would break down and cry.

And this would happen everyday.

 

[Aiii]

Good idea.

I've taken the liberty of getting two translators to help sort this matter out...hope it helps.

---

You sir, rock!

I remember watching one of the Legends of Wrestling Roundtables, and they said that back when Flair was still in the company, Cena would go up to him and tell him how much respect he has for him and this and that, and Flair would break down and cry.

And this would happen everyday.

And this my children, is why you shouldn't do drugs. It's all fun and games untill it starts botching your brain.

Okay, when did Batista have that Robert Downey Jr. operation that turns people into a black person?

 

[Biggest-Geek-Ever]

I also told the WGO that you have been having contract talks with MMA-GAF.

Who do you think you are?! I've got GAF Meltzer in my pocket.

 

[Forceatowulf]

Ok Pristine_Condition, that was pretty good. Preeeetty good.

 

[ZeroRay]

*shakes Pristine's hand*

F5!!

*kicks away hat*

 

[G-Fex]

What'd I say about Steiner? He's a wrestling god.

 

[sf2fanatic]

Pristine just became a WrassleGAF Hall of Famer.

I salute...


bows........

 

[DMeisterJ]

NEW JACK TRANSLATION's forehead is disgusting.

 

[Kyoufu]

Pretty sure Sting is not actually on twitter since Mick Foley didn't mention the account name in his tweet about him. All he said was "Sting".

I don't think Sting has ever been interested in Twitter. Dixie must be jealous of WWE's presence on social networks.

As for Pristine, Scott says:

* He's Fat!

 

[Aiii]

Watching Smackdown. Johnny L finally has a theme song.

And it's epic!

 

[cr_blah_blah]

Did Steiner leave the E on decent terms? Somebody had to bring this up. Maybe we can get Steiner-Batista screaming vein popping non-sense at each other. THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES.

Could they be a tag team? I want them to be a tag team.

 

[Kyoufu]

Watching Smackdown. Johnny L finally has a theme song.

And it's epic!

what

what

link now!

 

[DMeisterJ]

Did Steiner leave the E on decent terms? Somebody had to bring this up. Maybe we can get Steiner-Batista screaming vein popping non-sense at each other. THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES.

Could they be a tag team? I want them to be a tag team.

WWE can fire Lillian Garcia and bring in Steiner as a ring announcer.

 

[Aiii]

what

what

link now!

It's orchestral, kind of like an old TV-theme. Royal-sounding.

It's epic.

Here's a crude rip: http://www.deinsider.nl/dump/johnnyacetheme.mp3

 

[Seraphis Cain]

It's orchestral, kind of like an old TV-theme. Royal-sounding.

It's epic.

Here's a crude rip: http://www.deinsider.nl/dump/johnnyacetheme.mp3

Hey, weren't you a Junior not too long ago? Welcome to Member status!

 

[Aiii]

Hey, weren't you a Junior not too long ago? Welcome to Member status!

I was, thank you.

And thank you WrassleGAF, for making me post so much.

 

[Kyoufu]

It's orchestral, kind of like an old TV-theme. Royal-sounding.

It's epic.

Here's a crude rip: http://www.deinsider.nl/dump/johnnyacetheme.mp3

Doesn't seem so good. Should have used "the touch" song from the slammy promo.

 

[Aiii]

Doesn't seem so good. Should have used "the touch" song from the slammy promo.

Come on man, it's perfect!

He should come in wearing a crown and a royal robe next.

 

[cr_blah_blah]

WWE can fire Lillian Garcia and bring in Steiner as a ring announcer.

but is he famous enough to sing America the Beautiful, like Lilian?

 

[Kyoufu]

Come on man, it's perfect!

He should come in wearing a crown and a royal robe next.

I dunno. Need to hear it more. Since he's just a GM then it's fine I guess.

 

[BillRiccio]

This year platinum was guaranteed rows 1-4 and for 2 man about $2600 per person. Rows 5-10 about $1600 per for 2. The problem is last year I was second f'n row and still had someone obstructing my view a lot of the show. Row 8 you may hate yourself for dumping that much money and not seeing it. Loved my 100 level this year.

Thanks for the heads up dude. That would be the worst to be sitting that close and not have a perfect view. Maybe a section in the middle of the lower bowl would be the way to go. Next year is going to be crazy expensive better start saving now regardless.

 

[Seraphis Cain]

Man, that

Spoiler

Ryback

match on Smackdown...I can't help but feel like it's Vince trying to send the Internet smarks a message.

Spoiler

Local jobber Barry Stevens comes out. He's right about the same size as D.Bry, maybe a bit taller. He gets on the mic and starts talking about how happy he is to be there, how lucky he is to be wrestling a match for the WWE, etc. Camera cuts to the back and a bunch of the Smackdown guys are watching on a TV and laughing at him. Huge-ass Ryback comes out, more ripped than ever, and proceeds to demolish Stevens. Camera cuts to the back several times to show the Smackdown superstars continuing to laugh at Stevens. Ryback eventually puts him away, and the camera cuts to the back one more time for more laughs, while Cole pokes fun at Stevens.

Really, the whole thing felt like Vince sending us all a message.

 

[Aiii]

Spoiler

If Ryback doesn't get Goldberg-chants next week I will lose all faith in WWE Crowds.

 

[El Pescado]

It's orchestral, kind of like an old TV-theme. Royal-sounding.

It's epic.

Here's a crude rip: http://www.deinsider.nl/dump/johnnyacetheme.mp3

Ha ha ha! That is amazing!

 

[DKehoe]

Did Steiner leave the E on decent terms? Somebody had to bring this up. Maybe we can get Steiner-Batista screaming vein popping non-sense at each other. THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES.

I'm pretty sure he and HHH don't get on. WWE should fire HHH and bring in Steiner as an exec who can eventually take over from Vince.

 

[Brinbe]

Nothing subtle about that shit, wouldn't be Vince without some random Hoss getting a push.

 

[Aiii]

So this Smackdown was very very bad.

Lets recap:

Spoiler

-Bryan is gone and breaks up with AJ and disses the fans that are getting behind him.
-Fans cheering AJ getting dumped like a piece of shit and even manage a "hey hey hey goodbye"-chant. Wow.
-Del Rio randomly gets a title shot, because people gave a crap when he was the WWE champion (hint: they didn't).
-Ryback is the third guy that gets to squash jobber on the show after Brodus and A-Train.
-Sheamus is now the face that kicks a ref's head off for making a bad call.
-Damien Sandow's video package was okay I guess.
-I still couldn't care less about Kane vs Orton. Or Orton on his own. Or Kane on his own.

Really, if this is the state they're putting Smackdown in after having such a great run with Christian/Orton, Henry and then Bryan for a full year. For shame WWE.

 

[RBH]

WWE Superstars 4/5/12

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eo3SGEFXcE


R-Truth vs. Heath Slater
The Usos vs. Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins
Hunico vs. Tyson Kidd