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Are you depressed?
- Thread starter GodsTyro
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I was diagnosed clinically depressed about 4 years ago, saw a shrink briefly on doctor's orders and basically told him whatever he wanted to hear so that I could get out. I would estimate I've been like this for the better part of the last 10 years (there's a reason, won't go into it here), with the exception of one or two seasons two years ago. Probably didn't help that a short time after being diagnosed I was also prescribed a drug for something else that had depression as a side effect, and there was some controversy about patients taking it and committing suicide. I'm not particularly interested in the medication. I'm quite opposed actually. Someone asked why in that OCD thread, which I assume I have as I 'suffer' from compulsive counting and a number of other non-traditional symptoms of OCD, but I never got a chance to write a real answer, but he was relatively close with his guess.
I may be clinically depressed, I may have OCD, but that's who I've been for half my life and I don't remember what it was like during the first half. I'm not sure I like the concept of changing something like that. It seems so significant to me. I am who I am, and I feel relatively content with that, although others constantly say that I'm merely settling and surrenderring to the depression. I guess it can be spun both ways, I can't really be objective about it, although my strong cynical side makes me think the others are probably right. It tends to be easy for me to not try to 'make things better' considering I do very well in college, I work, and I get by with a pretty good social life when I want to. On the other hand, I do find myself growing increasing anti-social, or as I prefer to call it, independent. I've also read some nasty things about various anti-depressants and how little long-term research has been done or how they may permanently rewire some things in the brain, and stuff like that is just scary to me.
So who knows. For the time being, I'm able to convince myself that I'm fine the way I am.
I may be clinically depressed, I may have OCD, but that's who I've been for half my life and I don't remember what it was like during the first half. I'm not sure I like the concept of changing something like that. It seems so significant to me. I am who I am, and I feel relatively content with that, although others constantly say that I'm merely settling and surrenderring to the depression. I guess it can be spun both ways, I can't really be objective about it, although my strong cynical side makes me think the others are probably right. It tends to be easy for me to not try to 'make things better' considering I do very well in college, I work, and I get by with a pretty good social life when I want to. On the other hand, I do find myself growing increasing anti-social, or as I prefer to call it, independent. I've also read some nasty things about various anti-depressants and how little long-term research has been done or how they may permanently rewire some things in the brain, and stuff like that is just scary to me.
So who knows. For the time being, I'm able to convince myself that I'm fine the way I am.
Yes. During the last 3 years I have been progresivelly falling into a spiral of depression...First I refused to go out with friends at night...and then I began thinking about the future arriving to the conclusion that my life was worthless.
I don't think I will ever comit suicide (I don't have the guts to kill myself) but sometimes it's hard to get up and find a good reason to live.
I don't think I will ever comit suicide (I don't have the guts to kill myself) but sometimes it's hard to get up and find a good reason to live.
No.
But I'm very... perplexed. With so much developing in my life right now, I have a hard time getting a strong, single grasp on everything. I'm always happy when I'm around friends and family, but often when I'm alone I just ponder things. Like, what will I be doing in the future? Six months from now? Am I too vain? Am I, in fact, a completely good person, or am I only an outwardly good person, because that's the image I want to project to everyone so they treat me well (for instance, I'll scoff at people who discriminate against other races, but then I find myself with certain thoughts - such as predicting that a person driving a car is going to be Asian)? Are my friends the type of people I want to surround myself with; do I feel completely comfortable around them? Am I ACTUALLY happy with my life right now? It's the type of shit you'd expect from a guidance counsellor, I would guess. But it's serious to me. I don't get stressed, but it keeps my mind fairly preoccupied. I think this is a good thing, though. It's best to ask these questions; especially when life isn't handed to you on a silver platter.
I think what I've decided is that I need a definitive girlfriend. For the past several months I've been hesitant to commit, but I think I'm beginning to need something semi-permanent like that. A really strong relationship. And a dependable fuck.
Inevitably I want to just BE. But for that to happen I feel I need to be ultimately content with everything and a just person. I guess that's a process. Hopefully it doesn't take a lifetime.
But I'm very... perplexed. With so much developing in my life right now, I have a hard time getting a strong, single grasp on everything. I'm always happy when I'm around friends and family, but often when I'm alone I just ponder things. Like, what will I be doing in the future? Six months from now? Am I too vain? Am I, in fact, a completely good person, or am I only an outwardly good person, because that's the image I want to project to everyone so they treat me well (for instance, I'll scoff at people who discriminate against other races, but then I find myself with certain thoughts - such as predicting that a person driving a car is going to be Asian)? Are my friends the type of people I want to surround myself with; do I feel completely comfortable around them? Am I ACTUALLY happy with my life right now? It's the type of shit you'd expect from a guidance counsellor, I would guess. But it's serious to me. I don't get stressed, but it keeps my mind fairly preoccupied. I think this is a good thing, though. It's best to ask these questions; especially when life isn't handed to you on a silver platter.
I think what I've decided is that I need a definitive girlfriend. For the past several months I've been hesitant to commit, but I think I'm beginning to need something semi-permanent like that. A really strong relationship. And a dependable fuck.
Inevitably I want to just BE. But for that to happen I feel I need to be ultimately content with everything and a just person. I guess that's a process. Hopefully it doesn't take a lifetime.
DaCocoBrova
Finally bought a new PSP, but then pushed the demon onto someone else. Jesus.
Does the inability to get excited about anything = depression?
That's how I feel, but friends and co-workers say that I come off as the exact opposite. They say i'm enthusiastic and energetic about anything I have an interest in. I guess I do come off that way, but I don't feel that.
That's how I feel, but friends and co-workers say that I come off as the exact opposite. They say i'm enthusiastic and energetic about anything I have an interest in. I guess I do come off that way, but I don't feel that.
Mama Smurf
My penis is still intact.
I can't even remember what it's like to be happy without drinking. Amazing really that given this I still don't drink very often.
I know that sounds melodramatic by the way, but I really can't remember.
I know that sounds melodramatic by the way, but I really can't remember.
everytime i think i'm depressed now i just think about the guy in this article and everything seems great in comparison.
http://netfiles.uiuc.edu/aychan/shared/Solomon_Anatomy.pdf
http://netfiles.uiuc.edu/aychan/shared/Solomon_Anatomy.pdf
I've read that one of the things that can lead to depression is if you've had a pessimistic outlook for most of your life. I guess that might characterize me. My parents say I've never really been a happy child, that I never smile. I mean, I guess that's kind of true, though for a long time I had issues with smiling because I don't like my smile very much and when i was younger I had to wear the usual dental appliances. But really, I've always just thought I expressed my happiness in different ways. My happiness is VERY subdued, its more just a general contentment. And whereas a lot of people will openly proclaim when they're happy, I don't say much at all. I only say stuff when something irks me or makes me angry. So, yeah, maybe I do have a pessimistic outlook on life, but that's always been me. I want to change that, and yet, at the same time, it scares me to change, because it won't be "me" anymore.
MrAngryFace
Banned
To touch on earlier stuff: Being self-aware is a blessing as much as it is a recognizable curse. It tends to make you appear to be really good at reading people and understanding situations beyond their face value, however it also creates a distance between us and 'everyone else'.
We cant just shrug stuff off, and we certainly cannot just cheer up. The frustration occurs because they cant understand why, and we cant understand how.
Im still trying to figure out how to deal with it. There's nothing wrong with being this kind of person, but it is best to find like-minded people and learn to live how you are, because ultimately it comes down to either changing who you are or finding people who are either willing to work to know you, or simply understand you as a result of being on the same wavelength.
We cant just shrug stuff off, and we certainly cannot just cheer up. The frustration occurs because they cant understand why, and we cant understand how.
Im still trying to figure out how to deal with it. There's nothing wrong with being this kind of person, but it is best to find like-minded people and learn to live how you are, because ultimately it comes down to either changing who you are or finding people who are either willing to work to know you, or simply understand you as a result of being on the same wavelength.
MrAngryFace said:
You seem to characertize the idea of "changing who you are" as something that should be feared. I think of it more as a challenge. Life is fleeting and as we "thinking" people know, it doesn't matter much in the scheme of things...so shouldn't it be taken lightly and experimented with in different ways?
MrAngryFace
Banned
There are various camps within the 'thinking people' that have their own stances on the purpose and importance of our lives. Thinking its fleeting is just one of them.
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