*Note, if this sucks, I've been drinking, so suck it.*
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WCW Monday Nitro 4/6/1998
Thunder was preempted. So it's time for more Nitro!
TO THE BACK. Randy Savage is down and out behind the arena. Police and paramedics are checking on him. What happened? We're not so sure. We'll find out by the end of the show. Maybe. Possibly.
La Parka/El Dandy/Hypnosis vs CIMA/Magnum Tokyo/SUWA
A much better note to really start the shown on. Lucha madness! Here are the gifs. During the match, Hypnosis kicked La Parka in the balls on accident. After the match, La Parka laid him out with a chair. It was exactly the same thing they did in January or February, so much that I thought I was watching a show I already saw.
TO THE BACK. EMTs are still working on Savage.
Disco Inferno vs Booker T WCW TV Championship
Disco wants the belt placed around his waist. Silly guy. Flying forearm almost wins the match in the opening seconds. Disco comes back with a neck breaker. He gloats and gets his head kicked off. Disco has mostly been able to control things since the neck breaker. He wants his belt back. He misses a fist drop and gets hit with a Flapjack Norton. Harlem side kick. Book hits the ax kick and side walk slam. Book wins with the missile dropkick.
Video on the problems with Hogan/Savage/Nash.
Lemmy Lane vs Kidman
I was hoping it would be against Anvil or Bulldog so I could skip it. I kind of want to skip it anyway, just because fuck Lanny Lane. SSP for the win.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene has JJ. FUCK YOU, JJ. You fucking prick. He gives an update on Savage. By not really giving one at all.
Norman Smiley vs Konnan.
y u do this WCW? This isn't even the first time they've had me excited for Norman and then shat out Konnan. Sting vs Nash for the title tonight! This is awful. Konnan wins, but not before for real dropping Norman straight on his head in the 187. Jesus Christ. How did he last so long in WCW being so dangerous to himself and opponents?
TO THE BACK. Savage is FINALLY put into the ambulance. 40 minutes later.
Buff Bagwell vs DDP WCW US Championship
Raven still has the belt, somewhere. Larry is bitching about guys who work out so they can look good on TV. He's legit pissed about muscly guys, how much they suck, and how they have no skill. Someone is jealous that he never had abs. Lot of posing around. DDP lariats the shit out of Buff. Hey, remember how in the future Buff is going to fuck DDP's wife? Isn't that weird? Buff gets back into it with a stun gun in the corner and more posing. I hate Larry. He does nothing but bitch and straight up bury people. He goes way beyond "face/heel color guy talking about guys he doesn't like" kind of shit. He's fucking prick. Buff gets out of a powerbomb and hits a neck breaker. Pancake. Not a Flapjack Norton. Raven screams from the top of the arena. DDP goes after him. Buff wins via count out. He bitches about wanting the belt, but turns around into a Kanyon Cutter. BANG!
EARLIER TODAY. We see a red car squealing away as Savage is laying on the ground. Beefcoke and Virgil were there and said "He's not so macho now, is he?"
The nWo come to the ring. Yay. You know I love a Hogan rant. IF THERE'S ONE THING I CAIN'T STAND, IT'S WHEN AN ASSHOLE WON'T STOP RUNNIN' HIS MOUTH!" Hulk claims he was late due to traffic and that he hit a few speed bumps. He claims there are no problems and no take overs. He said stuff. I don't remember what it was. I can't here that tone anymore.
Goldberg hype video.
Hammer vs Goldberg
I hope Hammer does a hilarious botch before getting speared. FU! Hammer tried to jump off the ropes for some reason. He gets caught in the spear. Jackhammer for the win. The rest of the Flock try to come in, but run off when he growls at them. Tenay creepily says "69". It bothered me. In the ring, Saturn had Hammer in the Rings of Saturn. Saturn then shoves Kidman away.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene brings out Roddy Piper. Oh. In my alternate history, Hogan and Piper hit each other with bats so hard at the PPV that they were never seen again. That means no Mr. America, no SHOOTS on Russo, no Bischoff/Hogan era of TNA. None of that shit. Piper is name dropping Goldust, the Clinton's girlfriends, and Hogan's bald head.
Eddie Guerrero vs Ultimo Dragon
Eddie says that Grandma Guerrero was crying last night besides her club won't admit grandmothers of grandsons who are LOSERS! Mondo got kicked out of the lower rider club because his nephew is a LOSER. Eddie's got a hardcore mullet right now. Eddie makes Chavo take this match. Chavo is going to wrestle in jeans and street shoes. Chavo gets a 1 count! Almost a success. This is pretty even, but not much is happening. Eddie is so embarrassed he's wearing a towel on his head. Chavo gets shoved off the tornado DDT, but recovers. He tries a powerbomb and gets caught in the Dragon Sleeper. Eddie brow and towel beats Chavo after the match.
TO THE UNCENSORED. Highlights of Gene being a total twat to Dean Malenko after losing to Jericho.
Barry Darsow vs Lex Luger
I wish the Lex Express had been repo'd. Lex wins. I feel like my brain is put in the torture rack after every Lex match.
Curt Hennig/Brian Adams vs Jim Neidhart/British Bulldog
Fuck my life.
Chris Jericho vs Juventud Guerrera WCW Cruiserweight Championship
I believe this is the 3rd rematch for Juvi since losing his mask. Da Juice controls the opening moments. Jericho gets back into it and the crowd is all over him. Back breaker and a bow and arrow. Victory roll almost gets Juvi a championship. Diving elbow from Jericho. Juvi hits a pop up drop kick and rana for a 2 count. Much like Kidman, you can't powerbomb Juvi. The reversal almost won the match. Juvi driver. Juvi tries a diving rana, gets caught, and locked in the Liontamer. He actually taps, but says he doesn't quite. TAFKATAFKAPI throws in the towel for him. That's bullshit. He wasn't even far from the ropes.
Scott Steiner vs Sick Boy
Virgil comes out with a trophy. Is it for the largest arms in the world? Perhaps we'll find out! Interesting that The Flock and nWo have been pitted against each other lately. I assume this will be a squash. I'm on my 3rd blueberry beer and things are getting a bit loose in here. Sick Boy again botches a spring board move. That was his only offense. Steiner Recliner for the win.
Sting vs Kevin Nash WCW Championship
Nash is wearing a Randy Savage shirt. He insinuates that Hogan ran down Savage earlier. He may beat up all 3 men at the PPV. I bet Sting is going to get his ass kicked. Konnan is in Nash's corner. Fucking Konnan. FUCKING KONNAN. Sting gives the suck it sign. I don't think Sting has ever had anyone actually suck it. He was so awkward at it. What the fuck, Sting is getting offense? In 1998? You've got to be shitting me. Konnan gets involved. Lol. Konnan involved in a WCW Championship match. Ridiculous. I don't know if I've mentioned, but I really hate Konnan. He's terrible at everything. I have to be honest. I'm drunk enough that I'm not really paying attention to this. Sting gets the deathlock on. This match is both in slow motion and in sped up because of the drunk thing. I was drunk last night, too. But on Crown Maple. Only one cup, but it was 80% Crown in that cup last night. Is it bad that I only get drunk by myself? And is it weird that I am usually watching wrestling on these drunk nights? Sting fights out of a sleeper. Konnan is in the ring and gets squashed in a Stinger splash. Nash is going to hit the powerbomb. Crowd goes nuts for the idea of Nash as champion. Hogan hits the ring and causes a DQ. Nash isn't happy about it. Hogan and Nash argue, but the rest of the nWo hit the ring to fight with Sting. Piper and Nash hit the ring. There were no gifs. Just a bunch of drunken text. Suck it. It's a WCW main event. What do you expect?
