Buckethead said:
It's a strong theme that God wants sex for marriage and for you to have one partner only, I get that.
Basically my beef is that you have to have extensive knowledge of the Greek and Hebrew languages and Jewish history to even have a fundamental understanding of some of the most common issues to man including sex.
True, many people think it's so simple...
-The verse in Matthew 5 is talking about adultery, not broad sexuality. I don't think it's proper interpretation to apply it as so. Here lust means in a desirous way, that is thinking "I want to have sex with her" instead of your wife.
Yes. First of all, this is about a married man who has dedicated himself to a woman. Secondly, it seems to be about genuine desire for a real possibility. Like, the only thing stopping you are the consequences. You want to sleep with that woman? You want to kill that guy? What's stopping you? If it isn't the absence of real desire, but only the presence of consequences, you're no better than the people who do.
-The gouge out your eye/cut off scriptures are deeply troubling in the context of sexuality. There's unnatural sexual activity that you seek out and cultivate by the images/things that you surround yourself with, but...
But is this to say a blind man can't lust? It seems to be something describing the severity of damnation and priority of making sure you don't get there.
- People get naturally aroused after a period of inactivity. It's going to happen and as a result you will think of someone in a sexual manor.
- If I think about robbing a bank because I'm having financial problems, it doesn't mean I'm going to do it. Thinking about a woman's body while you masturbate doesn't mean you're going to try to have sex with her.
I also see this in scripture. There doesn't seem to be any ultra-pure mindset entering into marriage, but people had the hots for each other. In 1 Corinthians 7 it even talks about "acting inappropriately" toward their betrothed because she grew up and got hot, with the recommendation to go ahead and get married earlier than planned. This is suggested as a notion of preventing sin from happening, not as though the desire in itself was sinful already.
I find people who say that masturbating is a gateway to serious sins are pontificating. "Nothing beyond what is written" is what the bible says.
- Tradition doesn't constitute biblical doctrine nor does cultural values of a time.
Agreed.
- Lust has an inspecific definition about improper sexual conduct and also about a craving desire. Pornea refers to fornication outside of marriage, incest, etc. There isn't anything about looking at women's bodies being "lust" or masturbation being lust.
- I've heard the argument that all masturbation is a sin, even in the context of marriage which I find to be ludicrous.
It all has to do with the interpretive approach. Pornea has a very broad application, so some people interpret it to mean any desire which could possibly lead to immoral sexual activity. I think this is very flawed, because that is something biological and also demonstrated in scripture as something that can happen outside a sinful context.
To me it really seems as though it is talking about a desire that consumes you and truly leads you to action. The source could be many different things, but it is the end result that is important. Where it is condemned in scripture, the actual resulting action is always in view, so I don't see a reason to remove it and think that desire for sex in general is evil. How are you supposed to even be attracted to a woman to make you want to marry her if it can't be?
- If God created us to marry one person and have sex with one person, why is polygamy in the bible and accepted?
I actually never looked into this too far because it wasn't important to me and the New Testament seems to be against it. Just off the top of my head, I would say any words from God himself seem to only make mention of a person having one wife, and polygamy seems entirely man-originated idea. It was also the downfall of plenty of guys in scripture so it isn't exactly depicted in a healthy light. However, I also don't remember it being outright condemned, so I wonder.
- If sex within marriage is the only acceptable sexual outlet why does Paul discourage people from marrying to focus on the Lord?
He recommended this to the Corinthians who were suffering under persecution at the time, and recommended it with that in view. If you didn't know this was going on you may miss the reference in the epistle, but it is there and it also makes his other comments about being free of worry and not holding on too tightly to the things of this world make a lot more sense.
- Why does the Bible place a large emphasis on sexual immorality disqualifying you from salvation (1 Corin 6:9)? What about being overweight which significantly impairs all of your mental and bodily functions?
Sex appears to be a very big deal spiritually, far more than we realize. I already covered a lot of this in a previous post.
Click here.
Much about sin has to do with what the actions in themselves are saying about God and the order of things. It is not just a misuse of our lives and bodies and resources, it is what we indirectly tell ourselves about life by living in such a way. You can see this in the other sins that are often listed in general condemned practices.
As for the notion of disqualification from salvation, that is a tricky deal. Many things that are listed in those types of lists are things that the early churches were busy practicing, yet while the apostles condemned the actions so strongly, they also in the same letter would speak confidently that those same Christians were saved and had the Holy Spirit and would be lead by him to live rightly.
So you have this confidence of status before God in Christ cleansing you of sins, even very recent sins, yet at the same time very strong warnings against those sins and that they lead people to be disqualified from entering eternal life. I think the basic idea is told in Galatians 5-6, where you see the nature of the spirit and flesh oppose each other. Sin chokes your love of God, and love of God chokes your love of sin. In the end, only Christ can decide where a person goes, but you want to play it safe, you want to be genuine.
With all this in mind, I have a few other points to consider which don't really make it any easier to sort out, but clarify what we're dealing with:
On the issue of porn, it's difficult to say anything clear. You aren't looking at a woman, you are looking at pixels representing images of how she once looked doing something. It is a record of a woman, but it is not a woman. So I don't see how any matter of sin related to actual interaction with a woman can be applied to it, only what happens in your mind and what went into making it come into play.
On the mental side of things, it is fairly vague because as we discussed, we have biological imperatives which make us think of women sexually. If there is a line to be crossed, from that which is natural to say, the training of your mind to view women in a degraded way, where is it crossed? There is a large difference between being in love with a girl and wanting to make love to her, or even simply desiring a woman to share that with, and viewing women as nothing more than sexual objects.
As I said before, a part of sin is not just the action but what it says about life and creation. I think at some point, the mind does cross from attraction and desire to a degradation, which is a perversion. In this sense it can be sinful, but I'm really uncertain as to how serious it is considered. All sin is condemnable and to be avoided, as we are to strive to be holy, yet some sins are described like they are a sure path to destruction, while others have more of a "we're bad, stuff happens" attitude of grace surrounding them.
The other side is obvious, which is what is required to make porn. You always have some woman getting naked for someone who is not her husband, and a lot of times you have outright fornication. By viewing it you are creating demand for it, so that should be considered. You want to have the opposite impact on the world, and that could be considered partaking in their deeds. Clearly a lot more comes into play with porn than just your own natural desires and thoughts, so I think it is best to avoid it.
Of course, this recommendation immediately brings into question what "counts" and what doesn't. Whether a woman is attractive to you or not seems to be a lot more important in terms of arousal than whether she is completely naked or in a bikini. Simulated sex in a film can be steamier than a porno where they actually have sex. So what is too far? What shouldn't be seen? What shouldn't be made? What shouldn't a woman reveal for anyone but her husband?
I still believe it has a lot to do with intent and where your mind is at. When they caught the woman in adultery and threw her before Jesus, I somehow doubt they even had the decency to throw clothes over her. And of course, there were plenty of places were sex was some sort of ritual and they'd be doing it in the open. It has a lot less to do with what you see and a lot more to do with where your heart is led by it. I think even strong sexual desires can be fine if you still retain desire for those things in their right context.
For me personally, I don't worry about it too much. Maybe I should more, but in general I try to be patient with myself as I would with someone I am discipling. I haven't gotten sexually involved with women, so I feel like I still have a strong respect for them and good self control. If I am honest with myself, I really do feel where my loneliness comes into play with my sexual desires. It's not just the sex I want, I want the whole deal, I want a wife. If I ever feel like my mind starts going down a perverted a path and isn't giving women their due as creations of God, I do get kind of sickened with myself and return to a better mind.
It certainly isn't as simple and clear as many make it out to be. They miss a lot of context, ignore passages that easily have implications toward sexuality, twist other things out of context. When you make a full analysis, it really does seem a lot more understanding of our human state, yet challenges us to live with more respect, dignity, and care for each other and ourselves as not only physical but spiritual beings.