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[Star Power]

She's getting married to her longtime beau Jordan Bratman. I wish her luck... he's a bit of a minger though.

http://news.google.com/news?q=bratman+aguilera&hl=en&lr=&sa=N&tab=nn&oi=newsr

 

[Matlock]

"No, Bruce, don't do it!"
"I have to, chum...I have to."

 

[kumanoki]

Christina...Bratman?!

There goes her chances of winning any more Latina Songstress awards....

 

[MIMIC]

 

[kumanoki]

Jesus Christ, it must be love.....

Where are these superstar chicks running into these schmoes? Do they just happen to shop at the same supermarket or something?

"Oh, I'm sorry. This is the 12 items or less isle- waitaminnit. Aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Would you like to go out onna date or sumpthin'?"
"Yes."
"You like White Castle?"
"Yes."

EDIT: Aha. Music Executive. All those courses at DeVry paid off, finally!

 

[Ragnarok]

Jesus Christ, it must be love.....

Where are these superstar chicks running into these schmoes? Do they just happen to shop at the same supermarket or something?

"Oh, I'm sorry. This is the 12 items or less isle- waitaminnit. Aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Would you like to go out onna date or sumpthin'?"
"Yes."
"You like White Castle?"
"Yes."

Is this a complaint? It gives all shmoes hope!

 

[Flynn]

It gives all fabulously wealthy shmoes hope!

 

[KiNeSiS]

Fucking morons before commenting read the article. It's her long time manager boyfriend A&R that shit won't last.
It's another Mariah/ Mattola thing all over again mark it.
It's written so it will come to pass.

 

[LakeEarth]

When did the Joker get breasts?

 

[Error Macro]

lol, isn't that the dude that everyone thought was her personal assistant or something? The one that was looking like a bitch, carrying around her shopping bags and shit?

 

[Saturnman]

I thought white guys couldn't satisfy her?

 

[Star Power]

I thought white guys couldn't satisfy her?

He has flava. He's a jew from da bronx.

 

[Deleted member 4784]

These Hollywood marriages are always so fleeting. I give the marriage 5 months before the fashionably-challenged couple calls it quits. Let's just hope that for her Christina's sake, her boytoy/manager didn't plan the release of her new album to coincide with the marriage date. :lol

BTW, that is without a doubt the absolute worst picture i have ever seen of Christina Aguilera. At first glance you'd almost think that the guy was being escorted somewhere by a $2.15 hooker. :lol

 

[3phemeral]

They have been to together for over 2 years as opposed to only 5 months.

 

[Deleted member 4784]

"Being" together != living together in matrimony.

 

[theo]

i bet its like throwing a hotdog down a hallway

 

[Error Macro]

i bet its like throwing a hotdog down a hallway

...

She'll have another piece of pie
She'll have a double reuben rye
She works hard at eating well
That's why I love her

She's got a couple of pony kegs
Her arms are bigger than my legs
And when she holds me I can't breathe
That's why I love her

I'm her butter she' my bread
She's like a mobile waterbed
And when I got on top of her
I can't touch the mattress

And when her flesh begins to sag
She's like a human sleeping bag
I feel so cozy safe and warm
She's my insulation

I always know just where she sat
And when she's on me I get flat
Some broken ribs a punctured lung
That's why I love her

She's my phillie I'm her stud
Her bean is bigger than my pud
It's like feeding a Tic-Tac to a whale
That's why I love her

She'll have another piece of pie
She'll have a double reuben rye
She works hard at eating well
That's why I love her

 

[cloudwalking]

BTW, that is without a doubt the absolute worst picture i have ever seen of Christina Aguilera. At first glance you'd almost think that the guy was being escorted somewhere by a $2.15 hooker. :lol

Her looks have just continued to go down the toilet. :lol

 

[android]

Her looks have just continued to go down the toilet. :lol

"Hey that Aguliera bitch ain't got nothing on me!"

 

[3phemeral]

"Being" together != living together in matrimony.

Thanks Captain Obvious. If they've been together for over 2 years, I'd think that it would be a better indication that the relationship isn't just some spontaneous decision (ala Britney Spears). For all we know, they could have been living together as well. I doubt the relationship would have lasted if they never saw each other during that period of time.

 

[MIMIC]

 

[KiNeSiS]

Agulara is a trashy cumdumpster.

I promise everyone of you if I ever made it to one of these music award shows.
(which I'd be happy eating off my music with a cult following)
I will spit in agullaras face for being the trick bitch that she is.

 

[MIMIC]

Agulara is a trashy cumdumpster.

I promise everyone of you if I ever made it to one of these music award shows.
(which I'd be happy eating off my music with a cult following)
I will spit in agullaras face for being the trick bitch that she is.

And her bodyguard would wipe it off her face with yours.

 

[whytemyke]

lucky guy... i've got money that she's not nearly as much of a whore as she wants everyone to think she is.

EDIT: let me explain myself a bit here before I get gang "WTF"ed. She's a megalomaniac diva. she knows her only real competition in terms of 'heart throb' is Britney. what would be better... beating her at being a whore, or making everyone think she's beating britney at being a whore, while still being a rather clean and upright woman?

 

[Jr.]

That large picture, ewwww, she id fugly! You can take any chick and dress her up aqnd look hot, what they look like normaly is how you have to judge them, and she is fugly!!!!

 

[3phemeral]

That large picture, ewwww, she id fugly! You can take any chick and dress her up aqnd look hot, what they look like normaly is how you have to judge them, and she is fugly!!!!

 

[Particle Physicist]

minger ?

whats that?

 

[OpinionatedCyborg]

WTF @ people calling her fugly...even in that unflattering picture. Anyone who thinks Ms. Aguilera's ugly is a permavirgin 4 lyfe.

EDIT: I realized after hitting reply that 'permravirgin' followed by '4 lyfe' is redudnant, but whatevs. You get the point, permavirgins.

 

[duderon]

WTF @ people calling her fugly...even in that unflattering picture. Anyone who thinks Ms. Aguilera's ugly is a permavirgin 4 lyfe.

EDIT: I realized after hitting reply that 'permravirgin' followed by '4 lyfe' is redudnant, but whatevs. You get the point, permavirgins.

Cyborgs can't have sex.

 

[Blackie]

WTF @ people calling her fugly...even in that unflattering picture. Anyone who thinks Ms. Aguilera's ugly is a permavirgin 4 lyfe.

EDIT: I realized after hitting reply that 'permravirgin' followed by '4 lyfe' is redudnant, but whatevs. You get the point, permavirgins.

You know the GA way of female celebrity worship, right(unless that woman is Monica Belucci!)? Idolize when hot, gradually lose interest and then pronounce the woman ugly based on one shitty photo. It's illogical but time tested and approved.

P.S Stop making up your own slang/insults, like permavirgin.

 

[Shinobi]

Agulara is a trashy cumdumpster.

I promise everyone of you if I ever made it to one of these music award shows.
(which I'd be happy eating off my music with a cult following)
I will spit in agullaras face for being the trick bitch that she is.

Did she call your dick small?

It's like feeding a Tic-Tac to a whale

:lol :lol :lol

She looks fine to me...not exactly a Shakira, but more then good enough.