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[bender]

Cunth

 

[nush]

I'm not most people, brah.

 

[DogofWar]

Hehe there's lots of stuff I will not write online for many reasons but I am sure there are some things that can give you guys a laugh or two. Learn from the hog and don't repeat my mistakes. Or idolize me and do the exact same thing!

1. After a hard drinking night I met a guy from my elementary school. We spoke maybe two times back then but he was awfully friendly and talked about how he had changed (he was known as a quite violent guy back then) and since we were taking the same train home anyway we hung out. He then told me he had these awesome sleeping pills that you get nice buzz from if you mix with booze so we proceeded to gobble up quite a few of them while waiting for the train at the central station in Stockholm. While my memory is not exactly clear after this we did some speed when we got back to our suburb just to make sure we did not fall asleep. Now this somehow fucked my jaw up and I could not talk anymore. I then realized that the clock was 7.40 AM and I would meet my GF at the time and visit her grandmother later during the day so I went to sleep. I was lying for what felt like a week but when I "woke up" it was only 8.12 AM. I could talk again but was completely lost, the only thing I could think about was going to my GF so I walked there instantly and the rest of the day somehow proceeded okay, even though I don't remember much of that visit to the grandmother except some really delicious food. Her dog looked at me like I was someone completely different as well, shows how perceptive animals can be.

2. I ate 3 "special" spacecakes in Amsterdam, the music listening session that night was quite intense and I saw female bodies with serpent heads dancing in spastic moves while listening to this song:



3. Me and my friends were drinking in the parking garage of the local police station. We then proceeded to urinate on a police car. This as retaliation for them chasing us away from our normal drinking spot that night. This was 10+ years ago now so I figure that the offenses should be abolished by now.

I could go on for 43 pages with stories like these but 3 was enough to be reminded of why I am mostly sober nowadays and broke off contact with most of my childhood friends haha!

Oh and the worst thing: I actually did a "UV-Tyson" run on map 5 in PSX Doom II. The Crusher. Did not even know about that term back then I just wanted to show off.

 

[nkarafo]

Killed a bunch of chicks (young chickens) when i was, dunno, 4? This is also the oldest memory i have that's pretty vivid. I squeezed them to death with my bare hands. It's both the craziest and worst thing i have ever done. I still feel a ton of anxiety and regret when i think about this. It's probably the reason animal cruelty breaks me now.

 

[LisaMariaMartin]

Played baseball with rocks as a kid. Almost split my head open when my friend hit me full on.

 

[slugbahr]

I dated an 18 year old bisexual girl who did a few too many drugs, was a skater and gamer. Sex was glorious. Every other moment was hell especially when we played games together.

Waiting for someone to post that they once dated a sentient packet of Doritos. Great to game with. The sex was crap though.

 

[Cunth]

Killed a bunch of chicks (young chickens) when i was, dunno, 4? This is also the oldest memory i have that's pretty vivid. I squeezed them to death with my bare hands. It's both the craziest and worst thing i have ever done. I still feel a ton of anxiety and regret when i think about this. It's probably the reason animal cruelty breaks me now.

they were probably evil ones anyway

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

Is this considered crazy in America? Some are taller and less than that and never got those sort of comments.

5'9 at that weight is severely underweight yes. You usually want to be around 140-155 at that height unless you lift. But Meowzers himself is fucking thicc so I forgive you.

 

[Kadayi]

Opium. Once was enough. That shit (like Halo 2 ) was just too good. Did it with a few friends at college back in my drug fuelled youth and just blissed out for about 3 or so hours dreaming I was lying on a tropical beach somewhere basking in radiant sunlight. Can't say it was instantly moreish, but at the same time I could see it being quite addictive if you started doing it on the regular.

 

[Patrick S.]

Popped the blade of a spring knife I was pressing against my forehead to see if it would hurt. It did.

Helped someone steal a car.

Was a passenger in that same stolen car on another occasion, at night, and there was a police stop who wanted to stop and control us, and the driver turned off the lights and sped off. That experience was... not very nice. Still very glad they didn't catch him/us.

Married a latina.

 

[Jooxed]

I once stayed up until past midnight.

Was going to come in and post I stayed up until 10:30 the other night playing Paper Mario. But you beat me once again Arch Nemesis.

 

[Meowzers]

Stood right on the edge top floor of a 32 storey building for an awesome selfie.
Hung off the outside ledge of a railway viaduct, just bare hands.
Made out with a nightclub bouncer/Martial Arts teachers girlfriend, also separate incident made out with a nightclub owners side piece in his own nightclub.
Took maybe 4 Ecstasy pills my first time because I didn't think they were "Working". Then after waiting they "Worked"...
2 3 chicks at the same time.
Smuggled stacks of cash
Joined the mile high club
Evading security guards on numerous active site urban exploring expeditions.
Once offered a bribe of £5000 cash in a McDonalds paper bag, and turned it down.

Another crazy thing I've done. Wiped my screen above your username.

Damn dude you've really lived. But we all want to know what was the bribe? Some mafioso type asking for extra relish or what?

 

[The Scrivener]

Climbing but didn’t fall from the top. Was probably halfway up at the time but from a ledge like this.
So few stories worth I guess.

I literally roly-poly'd down a little grass bank the other day, I'm 40, and I have cuts all over me. You must have looked like a train wreck. God bless, man, you've used up all your luck for one life!

 

[Classicrockfan]

I drank a soda while eating poprocks.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

Getting married and having children when I can never hold down a job cause I don’t like people telling me what to do

I feel like I’ll get married at some point but fuck having kids.

Like, fuck having kids on the face of it, other people’s are super cute to play with and all that but fuck having a tiny human to be responsible for for the next 20 years.

Also, the world is in the bin, why would I want to bring someone else into this mess?

 

[Mistershine.]

Shat in the petrol tank of someone's motorbike because he cheated on a friend of mine.

Jumped about 20 meters off a quarry into a pool of unknown depth. Had a life jacket on though, as I can't swim.

Went drunken skinny dipping at about 2 in the morning, completely forgetting I can't swim. Silver lining was the rescue at the hands a bunch of naked chicks who were the reason I went in the first place.

Let a girl give me a sneaky hand job while I was sat next to her dad.

Had a conversation in the pub with a semi friend about his suspicion that his girlfriend was cheating, having just left her in my bed.

Got super drunk at a party and used araldite to stick bottle tops to someone's forehead.

Tried to steal the blue light from the top of a police car, while the police were in it.

 

[Tesseract]

 

[bitbydeath]

I literally roly-poly'd down a little grass bank the other day, I'm 40, and I have cuts all over me. You must have looked like a train wreck. God bless, man, you've used up all your luck for one life!

Luckily I was in my 20’s at the time and quite fit and resilient, I managed to get away with just a fracture. Also being young and stupid I thought I’d rest up on the couch and have it healed by Monday. Then my foot swelled up and I thought hmmm maybe I should see someone. Decided to hold off a bit longer cause you never know and then the girlfriend came round and drove me to the doctors.

 

[nush]

Another crazy thing I've done. Wiped my screen above your username.

Damn dude you've really lived. But we all want to know what was the bribe? Some mafioso type asking for extra relish or what?

Already answered that question in this topic.

 

[Prison Mike]

Parachute jump, bungee jumps.... And I'm scared of heights lol

 

[nush]

Had a conversation in the pub with a semi friend about his suspicion that his girlfriend was cheating, having just left her in my bed.

 

[teezzy]

One time I dumped a girlfriend and started fucking her older sister.

 

[Tesseract]

if you ain't spent time in an insane asylum, yer just pretending

 

[pauljeremiah]

I once got in a fist fight with a ghost at a house party.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

1.- Appear on television 4 times, one of them interviewing the Norwegian pop music group M2M.

2.- Accredit an Test of 450 questions where 80 questions were in English.

3.- My name came out in a video game magazine in Mexico called Club Nintendo for discovering the Yoshi island easter egg

4.- Winning the ROCKBAND Special Edition and my name appeared in the first place of the competition.

5.- Give a conference at the Hospital about video games and health

6.- Travel 1000 km away from home to do the medical specialty

 

[West Texas CEO]

I once used a picture of my own butthole as my avatar on NeoGAF for an entire month.

Say what?

 

[StreetsofBeige]

About 15 years ago, I went to Vegas with a bunch of people and we called a hooker from those Mexican people desperate for jobs flicking a card in your face at night.

When she arrived around midnight or so, people chickened out who wanted to do it. I took the plunge. I think it was $400 US. But some of the guys chipped in. I think I ended up paying half.

She was hot, so I'm not turning that down. And she was super cool flirting with us trying to get one of us to bite. I did.

Who was it?

For you porn slobs, it was Courtney Cummz. I guess when she started her porn career she was also hustling as a Vegas hooker. I didn't realize it was her till I got home and started googling (lol it was so long ago, maybe I was Yahoo searching back then). Yup that was her. Her hooker name was Courtney too. She didn't even bother having different stage names.

I'm still alive and last time I did a doctor's check, I'm clean. So I'm good. She was smoking. And no joke, she was really chill and had a good time just chatting too. Zero attitude.

courtney cummz - Google Search

 

[#Phonepunk#]

i was on tour with a band in New Orleans once. after the show me and some of the band met some fans and went to their house to party. one of them was this woman i was trying to mack on. as the night grew longer and longer we sat on the porch getting drunker and drunker and i started thinking "she isnt into me maybe ill settle for just crashing here". one by one my friends slowly peeled off and headed back to where the band was sleeping. by the end, the woman wasn't having it, she went to bed, and pretty soon enough it dawned on me in my drunkend state that it was time for me to leave. i was completely smashed and it was 5am and i had to walk back across a town i had never been in and find the house we were staying at. so i stumbled drunkenly across town, and at one point, i went to a house, knocked on the door, didn't get a response, opened it, went in, and after a few minutes, realized it was not the house. so i left.

i don't know how i made it back, but i did. God was shining down on me that day, and i count my blessings every day, because i had just randomly stumbled into someone's house, and was drunk out of my mind, and i am so lucky that nobody saw me. thankfully i don't think anyone was awake in the house i accidentally broke into.

since then i've dramatically decreased my alcohol intake. i did a lot of crazy things as a drunk 20 something. i can only attribute my survival to either a greater power or incredibly good luck.

 

[nush]

About 15 years ago, I went to Vegas with a bunch of people and we called a hooker from those Mexican people desperate for jobs flicking a card in your face at night.

When she arrived around midnight or so, people chickened out who wanted to do it. I took the plunge. I think it was $400 US. But some of the guys chipped in. I think I ended up paying half.

She was hot, so I'm not turning that down. And she was super cool flirting with us trying to get one of us to bite. I did.

Who was it?

For you porn slobs, it was Courtney Cummz. I guess when she started her porn career she was also hustling as a Vegas hooker. I didn't realize it was her till I got home and started googling. Yup that was her. Her hooker name was Courtney too. She didn't even bother having different stage names.

I'm still alive and last time I did a doctor's check, I'm clean. So I'm good. She was smoking. And no joke, she was really chill and had a good time just chatting too. Zero attitude.

courtney cummz - Google Search

OK close the thread, we have a winner!

 

[West Texas CEO]

Who was it?

For you porn slobs, it was Courtney Cummz.

Am I allowed to admit that I'm familiar with her work?

I have a new level of respect for you, SoB..

You SoB

 

[StreetsofBeige]

OK close the thread, we have a winner!

Am I allowed to admit that I'm familiar with her work?

I have a new level of respect for you, SoB..

You SoB

What made it awesome was not only was she hot, but not surprisingly the sex cards are totally fake. What shows up will 99% of the time be some fat slob, but I hit the lottery with someone as hot as those cards.

Talk about dumb luck.

 

[O-N-E]

Hottest girl in my school and I were the only ones in the hallway on a rainy day and school was done fo the day. I was just packing my bag at the locker. She comes up to me, shows me a nude photo of her and asks if I like it.

I said no.

Spoiler

 

[Dargor]

Rappelling upside down on a 50 meters waterfall.

Spoiler

with no hands

 

[West Texas CEO]

Hottest girl in my school and I were the only ones in the hallway on a rainy day and school was done fo the day. I was just packing my bag at the locker. She comes up to me, shows me a nude photo of her and asks if I like it.

I said no.

Spoiler

U did good. You can't give her validation, bro. That's how you own her soul.

 

[Robot Carnival]

nothing as crazy as some of the folks in this thread, but I've done some dumb things.

had a pretty decent job that paid well, but left without a plan and not much saving after being at the job for years and watching the industry and that company went into a direction I don't agree with.

unprotected sex. thou I did get check afterwards and didn't catch anything.

tried that Skyjump thing in Stratosphere Hotel over in Vegas on a wimp. was really fun and even got a video out of it.

when I was a kid, maybe under 10? I was home alone (this was in Asia so it's pretty normal) and was supposed to plug in the rice cooker at certain time to help get the dinner going before my parents got home. I ended up plugging it in the wrong way and the plug got kinda stuck. I use a knife to try prying the plug out of the power outlet. when I finally did it, I notice that the knife's blade now has 2 burn marks and 2 dents on it. turns out the plug did still connect even if it's plug in wrong and the electricity was passing from one end of the knife to the other. the only reason I didn't get shock to death is because the knife has a wooden handle. so yeah...

 

[nush]

What made it awesome was not only was she hot, but not surprisingly the sex cards are totally fake.

 

[triplestation]

in PUBG i was supposed to land with my squad but instead i parachuted off into the part of the map where there is nothing but mountain and nobody goes there

 

[DavidGzz]

125lbs, damn man, at 5'9'' dude I'm at 230lbs at 5'9''. You need help bro. I'm a bit fat so I'll forgive you.

I mean, the same can be said for you. I have a friend who is 5'9 130, and while yes he is skinny, your 100 pounds on him isn't all muscle unless you're an abuser of steroids. Obesity is a much bigger killer than anorexia. I've always found it odd how being skinny gets comments like this but saying the same about a fat person is a big no-no.

To answer the thread. I bench press and squat daily without a spotter. Crazy af

 

[StreetsofBeige]

I mean, the same can be said for you. I have a friend who is 5'9 130, and while yes he is skinny, your 100 pounds on him isn't all muscle unless you're an abuser of steroids. Obesity is a much bigger killer than anorexia. I've always found it odd how being skinny gets comments like this but saying the same about a fat person is a big no-no.

To answer the thread. I bench press and squat daily without a spotter. Crazy af

That's because fat people are ashamed and have no control knowing 99% of them will be fat forever unless they are that lucky 1% who succeed dieting or working out. They don't want people ragging on them they can't walk up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing or getting sore knees.

So they whine to not make fun of them.

Skinny people don't care so much because unless someone is anorexic like a skeleton, skinny people are probably better looking, look better in clothes and surely have more endurance doing things. Put two people who don't play sports. One is a huge fat guy, one is skinny. Unless the skinny person is naturally bad at athletics and the fat guy is one of those guys who can be a 300 lb slob but still be good at sports, the skinny person will probably do better and surely run more laps around a track.

Also, it's easier to bulk up by pigging out or taking protein powder than a fat guy losing weight, so it's not as dire.

 

[DavidGzz]

That's because fat people are ashamed and have no control knowing 99% of them will be fat forever unless they are that lucky 1% who succeed dieting or working out. They don't want people ragging on them they can't walk up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing or getting sore knees.

So they whine to not make fun of them.

Skinny people don't care so much because unless someone is anorexic like a skeleton, skinny people are probably better looking, look better in clothes and surely have more endurance doing things. Put two people who don't play sports. One is a huge fat guy, one is skinny. Unless the skinny person is naturally bad at athletics and the fat guy is one of those guys who can be a 300 lb slob but still be good at sports, the skinny person will probably do better and surely run more laps around a track.

Also, it's easier to bulk up by pigging out or taking protein powder than a fat guy losing weight, so it's not as dire.

You must now know many "hardgainers". I know many skinny guys who try their hardest to bulk up only to lose focus and lose all of their size/weight. Breaking habits is hard whether it's eating too much or eating too little. Also, being 10-15 underweight is much less of a health burden than being 70-90 pounds overweight. That was my main point reference his "get help bro" statement. As you said, it isn't as dire for someone to gain a little weight as it is for someone to lose all the fat surrounding their organs.

 

[Mistershine.]

Rappelling upside down on a 50 meters waterfall.

Spoiler

with no hands

I forgot about abseiling. Not down a waterfall, but I did have a rifle in my hands. The jump at the end to stop myself face planting was weird. That was when I was 13-14ish in the army cadets.

 

[King of Foxes]

Before we had kids my wife and i went to Thailand for the full moon party. We were on the beach drinking those bucket drinks and three Thai guys came and asked us if we wanted ecstasy...we said yes, bought and took them. It was legit stuff

Even the next day we were like fuck that was dumb and risky

 

[slugbahr]

Challenged Ghenghis Khan to a fist fight.
Sat on a plane's wing to eat a packet of chips while at 10,000 feet.
Squeezed the tail of the Loch Ness monster while it was sleeping.
Drove through a police station in a bulldozer.
Spat in Al Capone's face.
Went for a moonwalk while not wearing a spacesuit.
Fucked Goldilocks in Papa Bear's bed.
Crossed the streams.

 

[West Texas CEO]

Challenged Ghenghis Khan to a fist fight.
Sat on a plane's wing to eat a packet of chips while at 10,000 feet.
Squeezed the tail of the Loch Ness monster while it was sleeping.
Drove through a police station in a bulldozer.
Spat in Al Capone's face.
Went for a moonwalk while not wearing a spacesuit.
Fucked Goldilocks in Papa Bear's bed.
Crossed the streams.

 

[The Scrivener]

if you ain't spent time in an insane asylum, yer just pretending

The scary truth. I call myself an outsider, but I own a Skoda Fabia ffs. You're a saint man. There's a great book I read years ago, A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, I enjoyed that one, wish I kept all my old books now.

Edit: Read the book, don't watch the star-studded film adaption lol

 

[Old Retro]

On the outskirts of town, maaaany years ago, shot guns while slightly "inebriated". Last few rounds without ear pro just to see what it was like. Heard ringing in my ears for 10 minutes after that. And that's not even top 5 crazy things I have done.

 

[Kenpachii]

Farted in a full room of people next to a heater.

Didn't go well.