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Dating while being a gamer. Starting over at 40, and how women view men who play video games.

Winter John

Member
I got as far as dating sites and stopped. That right there is what your problem is. You know who use dating sites? Fat, abandoned, self hating old bags, and disasterous garbage fires. Don't use the internet to find women. The internet is for porn. If you want a woman go to a bar.
 

TheMan

Member
I got married before dating apps were as widely accepted as they are now. My understanding is that women (especially hot ones) have a toooon of choices online and can afford to be picky. So unless you're tall, loaded, and packing a huge dick, you're going to have to cast a wide net and maybe take a chance on someone who does't fit all of your criteria. Cast your net even wider if you're looking for a woman in her 40s who openly admits to playing video games beyond what your wife played.
 
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Breakage

Member
Perhaps it's just me, but the last thing I'd want to talk to a woman about is video games. It's been over a year since I last picked up a controller. But even if I were still an avid gamer, I wouldn't want to spend my time talking to a woman about games. Despite what the stats may say about “girl gamers”, most ordinary women aren't overly enthusiastic about video games. It's better to embrace that and find other interesting things to bond over.

Avoid dating sites. If you are limited to online, find something where there isn't an emphasis on establishing a romantic relationship, e.g. language exchange. You will have a better chance of meeting a normal woman this way.
 

ExpandKong

Banned
THIS x 1000 but you might have luck if you committed and converted picking up a hot divorcee or widow just sayin.

Literally loled I was so into several Mormon girls in high school they were all legitimately model tier and perfectly nice to talk to even more so than any other religious girls (or goths and hippies) but if you ain’t Mormon you are never going to get anywhere serious especially at that age where parents have strict bans on dating non-Mormons.

Sounds about right. Spent some time growing up in an area with a pretty big Mormon population, the girls were all total smokeshows and very friendly but the second they learned you weren’t in the church that was that.
 
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Punished Miku

Human Rights Subscription Service
My girlfriend (27 years old) never really seriously gamed, but she did have a SNES hooked up to her TV when I first went to her place that she had owned since childhood.

She's fine with it for the most part, but not all that interested in it. Once or twice she tried giving me a little bit of shit about it, but I just kind of explained to her that I actually genuinely enjoy playing games and getting excited for a few of the big releases each year. Would she rather I stop enjoying one of the few things I actually genuinely enjoy? She understood then right away, that isn't what she wants. She wants me to be happy. Movies don't do a lot for me these days and there's not an infinite amount of things that can actually make people happy.

She eventually got a Switch and plays Animal Crossing every day before bed. We also beat the entire DK Trilogy together from SNES, which was extremely tough. I make sure to never waste our time together gaming, but she's mostly supportive now when I do it with my own time.
 
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Dude, just carpet bomb the dating sites for now. Don't worry about finding the next Mrs. Perfect. Just get your ding dong wet and have some fun.

I was in the same boat as you, divorced, pushing 40, lonely, dogs, gamer etc. I went on plenty of fish and ok cupid in 2016 (don't know if the sites are still the same or what). Never online dated. Created a goofy profile where I said I hated something most women love...avocados. I ranted how they should be banned etc. I got tons of replies. I'm a 5...maybe a 7 due to personality at best. Shitty car, don't make much money. I got 3 dates a week with at least one 8 each time. I felt like Elvis. Some of these girls were WAY out of my league and I was hooking up with them!! I was amazed.

Of course I had many bombs. Makes for some awesome stories though and I have plenty. But, I met my current gf and we've been together for 3 years. Just go nuts and blow out some slump busters. You'll be fine.
Okay, so that one is new to me.
 

nush

Member
Shadowstar39 Shadowstar39

You need a smack round the head and some tough love, not a hug box pity party.

So what happened to all those relationships from 14 to 30 before you got married? Were they all "gamer girls"? You need to work on yourself and take responsibility for your actions and diversify your interests. Look in the mirror, would you date you? What have you got to offer a woman in a relationship? sit at home watching a screen and going for walks?

If you've got your shit together being over 30 and dating as a man is a golden age. Quite surprised me as I'd read in some profiles that the cutoff date was 30.

It's not about liking or playing videogames at all, that's just a scapegoat you've landed on. However they are pussy kryptonite so don't talk about them at all until you are in a relationship.
 

Stouffers

Banned
I can’t even imagine trying to date at this age. Then again I’ve been single for 20 years so I’ve had a lot time to get used to it and don’t really know what I’m missing out on in the first place. So at this point I’ve pretty much accepted that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.
There’s something beautiful about a person named fellows with no friends or loved ones.
 

appaws

Banned
THIS x 1000 but you might have luck if you committed and converted picking up a hot divorcee or widow just sayin.

Literally loled I was so into several Mormon girls in high school they were all legitimately model tier and perfectly nice to talk to even more so than any other religious girls (or goths and hippies) but if you ain’t Mormon you are never going to get anywhere serious especially at that age where parents have strict bans on dating non-Mormons.

Play your cards right and you’ll end up god of your own planet too!
 
Ha!

I still have friends and family at the moment. Just no lady friend.

Problem is I’ll eventually drive those friends away and the family members I actually care about are all significantly older than I am.

I feel the same man, life sucks. Although I've got a wife and two kids I don't really do a great job about it. Outside of that, locally, I've got no one. Sometimes we're born to miss the party, no big deal, life might make sense one day, just keep trying. Same to you OP, keep trying. I've got the biggest backlog and as much free time as I want, but I pretty much sabotage everything I touch. Ignore the haters, find your peace.
 

Woo-Fu

Banned
What is the appeal of dating someone that games?
You always know where to find them and if they have an affair it'll be online and virtual.

I'm not really interested in women who have the same hobbies, it is the ones who bring something different to the table that keep it interesting. Not really sure I'd want a mate who approves of all the time I spend in front of the computer either. That's just an enabler.
 
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Whataborman

Unconfirmed Member
If you want a woman go to a bar.

Sorry, but that may be the worst advice in this thread. As bad as women are on dating sites today, those problems are amplified in women that hang out at bars. Essentially, it's the same caliber of dumpster fire, but with the added possibility of addiction issues.

My advice to OP is to avoid bars at all costs, at least when it comes to looking for a serious relationship.
 

-Arcadia-

Banned
I go on dating sites like facebook dating, but every woman there, today seems so demanding. I found my ex-wife on online dating and I don't remember the profiles being like they are today.
I actually see shit like "No video games" or bs politics. "Feminist, Belive in science, black lives matter, pro abortion, open borders, fuck drumph, if you aren't for that get out".... or demands "32 year old woman who knows what she wants. If you can't take care of me and take me on trips to Paris and Italy and treat me like the queen i am then don't bother."

I see all these women with crap like this in their profiles but none seem humble, and it honestly turns me off. I don't want an activist, I want a partner and someone to love who will love me back. Many of these profile women, all seem covered in an obscene amount of ink (I have no problem with modest tattoos but too much is not attractive). They actively hate gaming, are infected with slogans and seem to push out an aura of entitlement. Full of themselves, making demands. Instead of looking for a partner in life they are looking for someone to control, to mold to worship them. I seen some of this when i was 30 online but not like today. Never seen the anti video games and pro activist bs so present in these profiles.

Avoid. You have the right reaction. There's a reason they keep coming back to online dating instead of finding anything lasting.

There's not a lot I can say that the thread hasn't -- getting out there in the real world and making opportunities to connect with normal people is the way to go. Not only for relationships, but even to find new friends. It's a win win win, and you have fun no matter what.

I'll just add that trying to find someone that plays games... may not happen. Finding someone that respects the things you're into, and maybe wants to be a (reasonable) part of them, though? Very doable, especially if you give her favorite things the same respect.

Just don't be one of those nightmare stories that sits at home all day, unemployed, never getting anything done, playing games in every waking hour. That, or any permutation, will blow up any relationship.
 

joe_zazen

Member
Join a church. Even if you dont have much or any faith, that can come. And there are some who behave as if it were true but are not believers deep down, that is ok too.

They will have singles nights and stuff, and just be honest about yourself and your interests. And dont discount Mormon churches, some really great people there.

also, you are a dog person, so make sure whoever you date is also a dog person. Dog people are the best.

It's not worth it man. I wouldn't date an American/western Euro girl ever. They're all about entitlement, modern feminism and shit.
I'd say your bet is to import a wife from Thailand or Russia. I actually know a lot of people who've done this, and they can't be more happy.

You dont have to “import” to meet immigrant women. There are lots of nannies on visas etc. Again, churches can help with this, see if there are an ‘ethnic’ churches near you.
 
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Kenpachii

Member
I was married for 10 years. I had two step kids that I raised with my ex-wife and I gamed with them all the time. Especially my step son. My ex-wife hated console/pc gaming, and I didn't even bring it up until we lived together.
She was always jealous of me gaming or even walking the dog, hell she was jealous of me spending time with her kids. Yet spending time with her near the end was a drag.
We were vastly different. i had done all my "partying" years before, and was more into a stay at home and play some video games, watch a movie or go out to the woods, lake, mountain or beach.
She was into gossiping with female friends, facebook, candy crush, social mobile games, wine tasting, going out to eat all the time and complaining.
Needless to say we split a year ago as our differences were too much. Resentment had kicked in and she brought negative energy just being around her.

She hated console gaming but spent more time gaming then I did, just on facebook with words with friends, and candy crush, etc.. She couldn't' get past that since i wasn't doing it socially and casually it was like a toy, a childs passing. Her friends didn't understand it and also had similar views. To them they would rather us men be out drinking at a bar and getting sloshed watching sports ball, than playing games and having fun. I remember she would be mad if I bought games to the point i had to hide doing so, just to not have to get into a fight. Towards the end I just didn't care and bought what I wanted.

Fast forward a year, the ex is out, i am riddled with debt, but i am free. I have my dog, and gaming platforms, (Ps2,3,4,classic,vita, psp, Switch, ds,3ds, 2 gaming pcs, ).
I am happy but lonely. I yearn for the touch of a woman (i don't even mean sex, i mean a kiss, affection, companionship, etc). I'm 41, and this has been the longest time i have been single since I was 14 years old (its been 1 year now).
I go on dating sites like facebook dating, but every woman there, today seems so demanding. I found my ex-wife on online dating and I don't remember the profiles being like they are today.
I actually see shit like "No video games" or bs politics. "Feminist, Belive in science, black lives matter, pro abortion, open borders, fuck drumph, if you aren't for that get out".... or demands "32 year old woman who knows what she wants. If you can't take care of me and take me on trips to Paris and Italy and treat me like the queen i am then don't bother."

I see all these women with crap like this in their profiles but none seem humble, and it honestly turns me off. I don't want an activist, I want a partner and someone to love who will love me back. Many of these profile women, all seem covered in an obscene amount of ink (I have no problem with modest tattoos but too much is not attractive). They actively hate gaming, are infected with slogans and seem to push out an aura of entitlement. Full of themselves, making demands. Instead of looking for a partner in life they are looking for someone to control, to mold to worship them. I seen some of this when i was 30 online but not like today. Never seen the anti video games and pro activist bs so present in these profiles. There are a few that are not like this, that seem humble, into the outdoors, nature and not crazy types but those like that are usually super hot, lawyers or doctors and way out of my league, so I don't even bother with them (I fix computers and networks for a living, make under 50k a year, and a study went out that rich women won't date men who make less than them, so why even bother.) Maybe it's just Facebook dating, and other online dating sites are better?

This makes me seriously envious when I hear stories of women playing video games with their husbands. I see people on here buying consoles for their wives, or playing games with their girlfriend.. Are all those type of women taken already, and I am just looking at the stuck up leftovers? Or is this a younger generation thing where women under 30 are fine with gaming and such activities but the ones my age think of it as childs toy and men who are into it as children. I only was with one woman who was into gaming (she was actually into magic the gathering, d&d, dogs, nature and everything i was), problem was she was also into hardcore drugs and partying like i was (back in the late 90s early 2000s) and she never sobered up and stayed in that scene and eventually died.

Just curious where people found spouses/partners who game. Were they supportive of it, or was their pushback from them on it. How did you find them? Does anyone else have issues with dating today or relationships where the other person hates your gaming hobby? Any women out there, and if so what is your perspective on this?

Avoid online dating, its all shallow / gold diggers / one night stand chicks. Any sane chick would not sit on it even remotely. They get dogpiled by 100's of weirdo's with dickpics.

If you want to meet chicks join clubs any club really that involves girls if its churches or stuff like running clubs or dog clubs. Then just start to talk with people with simple stuff like hey we can carpool saves money right? and boom there you go u are in.

My story:

How i met my hermit girlfriend was because of her mom and dad. I shit you not. I was training at a gym to get in shape and i made such fast progress that they asked me if i could train there lazy as shit daughter of my age which never saw daylight and needed to get in shape. ( they wanted to get her out of the house into the living world basically ). That hermit chick wasn't bad looking at all and after a few times helping her out the ball started rolling quick. How do you meet those chicks online? u don't. She ended up having some girlfriends and they started to date friends of mine also.

Word on mouth is what goes fast and that's how most people in my environment hook up. All those tinder / facebook garbo dates are nothing but vaporware.

Anyway do something completely different that also gets you in shape, u meet new people get new connections and your life goes into a new direction completely. I can tell you this if you get shredded and get a new chick, your ex wife will need some therapy dealing with it. Guys always do better in a split specially when the girl has kids.
 
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Whataborman

Unconfirmed Member
Join a church. Even if you dont have much or any faith, that can come.


THIS. Absolutely 100%

Also, it sounds like OP skews conservative so get involved with local conservative politics. It's election season so now is the best time to do it. Not only will you help your local candidates but you'll meet some great people too.
 

GermanZepp

Member
Just curious where people found spouses/partners who game. Were they supportive of it, or was their pushback from them on it. How did you find them? Does anyone else have issues with dating today or relationships where the other person hates your gaming hobby? Any women out there, and if so what is your perspective on this?

Founding a woman who really likes to play video games is hard, but you could try joining groups, going meetings and conventions. Places that might be frequented by girls that strikes that vibes.

I'm 33 and my girlfriend is going to be 36. She don't dislike games, but sometimes she "hates" the fact that i seems to enjoy it, or maybe she feels like i'm wasting time, or don't spend that time with her. I don't play more than 2 hours per day. Sometimes i make a 3 to 4 hour "marathon". i understood from the beginning that women in general don't care much for gaming so the first time i meet her i was perfectly clear that console gaming was my main hobby. She likes arcades and pinballs though, old machines and games, we are waiting to buy one to play the classics.

As for getting with someone new, is very hard. People are crazy these days. People join new relationships and sometimes get married for the wrong mess up reasons. You want to get that in check. Wanting a partner to spend time, and make each other company and share some affection is a good start and a good reason. You need to get out there to places that perhaps you don't usually go and try to find if the vibe is right. Connect with someone with another hobby, maybe books, cooking, sports, pets, music, and then let her know that gaming is part of your life.
 
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Northeastmonk

Gold Member
I'm 33 and my girlfriend is going to be 36. She don't dislike games, but sometimes she "hates" the fact that i seems to enjoy it, or maybe she feels like i'm wasting time, or don't spend that time with her. I don't play more than 2 hours per day. Sometimes i make a 3 to 4 hour "marathon". i understand from the beginning that women in general don't care much for gaming so the first time i meet her i was perfectly clear that console gaming was my main hobby. She likes arcades and pinballs though, old machines and games, we are waiting to buy one to play the classics.

I think its jealously and feeling like they're being ignored. Some women don't want to feel like they're 2nd to anything. I walk away when I get excited. Women don't want to hear someone jump up and down and yell out of excitement when its not about them. I think this is also why some women cannot stand guys who play video games. They feel like they aren't going to be that exciting.

It sucks to kill your own enjoyment just because someone wants that same type of attention. Even if you devote most of your time to a person, you need your own personal time. I have been in marriage counseling therapy and they discussed that. You have to feel like yourself. You can balance it out, make something work. Its not like you always have to watch Netflix or talk about social media during your free time. I would rather play a video game than watch a bunch of shows on TV. The only thing I would use a TV for would be gaming. I didn't really watch Netflix or Hulu before I got married.

If I were to ever be single again. I'm not exactly hoping it happens, but if it did. I'd just stay single. Money, kids to hang out with, and free time can be better for one's mental health. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you can put a barrier between spending too much time together.
 
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I think for several generations now, people have had a rather warped view of what it means to be 'in a relationship'.
Used to be gender roles, 1 man 1 woman and a bunch of kids.

Now we have men 'not being allowed' things by their woman. We have people who somehow think it's important to enforce that their spouse likes the same hobbies they do.

I can't help but wonder, what is the game plan here for these people. Are you attempting to create a stable situation for your offspring? Or are you looking for someone to bone while you drowse through life. Because history shows that clueless men that marry for the pussy generally have a bad time.

Feminism is the driving factor here, I think. Men don't understand why and how they should resist. The idea of 'equality' sounds so good that it's hard to find a good reason to push back on the continuous assault on men's liberties.

Remember there is only one game being played here: maximizing your own reproductive success at the expense of others'. Biology is and always will be king.

Men and women do not have the same goals when it comes to reproduction, you have to be aware of this, so you can defend your boundaries.

Get redpilled and save civilization, friends :pie_invert:
 

Mossybrew

Member
As some others have said more or less, you don't really need a woman who is as into games as you, just one who respects that people in a relationship still need their own time to pursue their own interests, and doesn't feel the need to monopolize your every waking hour or judge what you're into during your own time.

And yeah good luck finding THAT particular unicorn.
 
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lock2k

Banned
Don't date after a divorce.

Be alone, enjoy yourself.

I have been with my wife for 15 years. It's a long time and we had some rough patches but we're in a very good place now. If I were to ever lose her or divorce her, I would never get married again.

Remember. You are not a half, you're full person, you don't really need anyone to live. If it happens, it's cool, but don't be dependent on that.
 

thief183

Member
I can feel you, but it seems that I'm more firm in my way of life, I'm quite good looking and the touch of a woman is not something I miss, I tend to be perfectly clear on what I want in a girl and the rules are simple.

1: don't bother me whike playing videogamea

2: My money are mine only, your money are yours only, no sharing bs.

3: My house has 2 conpletely separate sides, one for me the other for the partner

4: the door to get away is always open.

5: the same rules apply for my partener

If you start to act as AN "alpha" you will be seen as it, otherwise you will never be happy. Be yourself otherwise you will never be happy.
 
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-Minsc-

Member
I'm actually going out on a coffee date with a lady I met through church tonight.

Are their any community school programs in your area where you can go to pick up a new hobby? Nothing wrong with gaming, just can't hurt to broaden ones horizons.

Tried online dating about a decade ago and never could get into it very well. I did sleep with a lady through PoF but it was obvious we both had our own issues to work out and any long term relationship would have been very unhealthy for both us. Thinking with the penis definitely was not a good idea. Going to bars was just as bad.

What I find to be helping is working on my own emotional and spiritual health (probably should put more focus on my physical health as well.) I recommend finding a fellowship of other men you can work with to aid in exploring ones own flaws. Due to excessive porn use I joined a sex addiction group (12-step program in this case). While my life isn't perfect, it is helping me deal slowly deal with stuff I don't want to deal with. For me it's to aid in preventing whatever lady I'm with from being my nanny. Based on what I've read over the years an emotionally sound woman will not hate on an emotionally sound man who plays video games. By this I mean continually improve and grow our self and in turn we'll meet a woman who has done the same.

These are thoughts from a 38 year old guy who has never been in a long term relationship and little experience with short term relationships with women. I'm glad I at least have a group of guys to chat with now. Can only imagine how crazy I'd be going on this date if I didn't.
 

xrnzaaas

Member
Most of my married guy friends in their 30s stop gaming because their wife doesn't allow them. It's very sad. There has to be some sort of compromise.
Yep same here. One of my friends married a girl who has into playing video games, but she dropped gaming before she even hit 30. Now she either ignores us when we play or she gets mad he's still playing video games.

I think that the best scenario at the age of around 40 would be finding a woman who doesn't have a problem with the partner playing video games. Don't expect to play together although that may come especially if gaming is going to something completely new for her.
 
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NOLA_Gaffer

Banned
My wife occasionally plays videogames with me, but not particularly often.

She has her own Switch Lite (and Nintendo 3DS prior) but it's primarily a means to play Animal Crossing and a few other titles.

She has no problem with my playing or buying videogames as long as I'm not spending all of our savings on it. She even buys me goofy videogame merch from time to time like that neat amiibo end level display. In general I ask her to not buy me videogames though, as I fear she'll overpay for something I could get for a fraction of the cost.

Don't let a woman decide what you can and can't enjoy. Find someone that enjoys what you enjoy and enjoy it together.

Find someone that'll be your best friend, not a roommate.
 
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Kamina

Golden Boy
Don't date after a divorce.

Be alone, enjoy yourself.

I have been with my wife for 15 years. It's a long time and we had some rough patches but we're in a very good place now. If I were to ever lose her or divorce her, I would never get married again.

Remember. You are not a half, you're full person, you don't really need anyone to live. If it happens, it's cool, but don't be dependent on that.
Some people long for a patner though. Its natural.
If he wants to share live with someone he can love then thats okay.
 
Any Muslims/Buddhists hook up with chicks at mosques/temples?

pretty sure man and woman has separated sides in mosques. you're not gona get any hook up in a mosques :messenger_tears_of_joy:

for the OP. first of all, don't feel like you HAVE to find someone to date. just be happy with your life and play games. go do some traveling if you want. it's much easier to travel by yourself and see things you like instead of having to worry about what the other person likes and arrange the trip around that. also, I'm sure there would be some activity groups in your area you can join. maybe not video games but stuff like frisbee golf or whatnot that is easy going. join those outings and get to know some more people. you may or may not hook up with anyone, but you'll at least have better chance.
 

lock2k

Banned
Some people long for a patner though. Its natural.
If he wants to share live with someone he can love then thats okay.

It is ok. What I mean is... don't bet all the chips on it. Go slow, don't try to remedy a situation as quick as possible. Give time to time, try to meet people naturally, as in "don't rush it". Rushing things is bad.
 
Grow Your Own Woman?

Seriously, what does that mean? I guess go your own way...?
It stems from MGTOW: men going their own way.

It's an offshoot of the redpill 'movement': realizing that biology rules all, and whatever men in the west get told about women and relationships, is not necessarily true (understatement).

Key concept here is: don't listen to what she says, look at what she does. Women will tell you to 'be nice' and then go fuck guys they call 'assholes'. "Don't ask a fish for advice on how to catch fish"

Many men feel cheated and lied to and respond in various ways. Some go PUA and fuck lots of women. Some go 'their own way' and retreat from the sexual market place altogether. Some remain bluepilled and end up miserable.

For me the lesson has been: work on myself.
 

Riven326

Banned
I mean, why is it a problem? I'm 32 and I play video games. Not like I used to, but I have a PS4. Unless you're obsessed with it, what's the issue?
 

NOLA_Gaffer

Banned
Speaking of that whole MGTOW nonsense, don't do that.

"MGTOW", "Redpilling", "Men's Rights" and similar nonsensical buzzwords are just weirdos on the internet trying to come up with excuses as to why they're undateable.

Take care of yourself physically and mentally, be courteous, and don't be afraid to be yourself. If you meet someone and it doesn't work out, dust yourself off and try again. There are literally millions of women in the world, don't give up until you've found the one.
 
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bigsnack

Member
I've been out of the dating game for 22 years. What a brutal thing to navigate after reading numerous threads like this one over the years!

The only thing I can add really is to get your own life in order as priority one. Once you are feeling confident about your day to day existence, then the time you do spend playing games will feel well deserved. Sadly I don't really enjoy playing games anymore, but I do have a bit of a guitar buying habit. My wife has never questioned it because my life is in order. I do my share around the house, I do most of the cooking, I spend ample time with the kids, I have a good job that I work hard at, etc.

If you are really missing a connection with a human, I would suggest easing up on gaming and make some serious effort to meet more people in person. I'm insanely short, I'm basically a hobbit without hairy feet. There is no way in hell I would get responses from girls on online dating apps. I'm almost positive my inbox would be filled with tumbleweeds. That being said, over the years I've had a number of women express interest based on in person contact I've had with them, even a few that originally expressed that they "like their men tall". I've never strayed from my wife, not even emotionally, but it still feels good to know that you aren't invisible. :)
 

highrider

Banned
My advice is don’t. At your age it’s impossible to meet women that aren’t looking to get serious, you’re just going to end up in the divorce ringer again. Build yourself in to a high value male, financially and physically. Then you’ll find your worst habits are not only tolerable, but charming. Don’t cohabitate, don’t marry and enjoy women as a compliment to your life, not the focus.
 
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sol_bad

Member
I found my wife through a dating app.
:)

Maybe you should try a different site that makes better matches? Because if the only "matches" you see are what you describe, that's a problem. There are thousands of women out there who don't care if their partner plays games.

*EDIT*
Ignore comments like the one above me. Women obviously aren't objects and you can and will find a suitable partner.
 
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