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December Wrasslin |OT| Dean Ambrose, Muscleless Agent of SHIELD, Every Week :(
WHO'S THE FOURTH MAN?!
That's totally a guy that would showoff and steal my girlfriend.
Hey man, I tried.
Btw, this guy would steal your WIFE.
What a thirsty woman.
Hey man, I tried.
Btw, this guy would steal your WIFE.
He would steal my everything.
How do you fit all the jobbers on the roster in one segment?
Oh, that's how.
This Raw next week sounds excruciatingly horrible.
Ugh...think I'm passing.....Christmas Raws are always horrible.
The Usos & Brodus Clay & Santino Marella & Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd defeated The Prime Time Players & The 3MB & Tensai when Jey Uso pinned Slater with a top rope splash while wearing a Santa hat.
Oh, that's how.
This Raw next week sounds excruciatingly horrible.
*The Great Khali pinned Brad Maddox. Khali and Hornswoggle were dressed as elves. Khali sang "We wish you a Merry Christmas" after.
Ugh...think I'm passing.....Christmas Raws are always horrible.
Also, yeesh, the Shield really beat the shit out of Dreamer
Linked for major bump on the noggin
http://i.imgur.com/bEZZn.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/yKcrJ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/2buSB.jpg
House shows are for kids and parents who have money to spend on them.
Phoenixazure
Member
didn't know they were recording raw early. guess it makes sense. any other spoilers regarding shield?
Not on the show it seems. Nobody is really going to watch on christmas eve and they are too important to waste on the show. Raw Spoilers for 12/24:
The guest host for Raw was Santa Claus, who was giving out gifts. Alberto Del Rio drove out and ran over Santa. An ambulance showed up to help Santa. Alberto was upset and there were chants of "You Killed Santa." Santa was strapped to a gurney and was stretchered out. Kevin felt it was too close to the Jerry Lawler heart attack. Santa gave the thumbs up as he was being wheeled out...
1. Kane beat Cody Rhodes. Cody exposed a turnbuckle. Kane ended up taking advantage of the exposed turnbuckle and then chokeslammed Rhodes for the win. The crowd seems tired after sitting through Smackdown already.
2. Kaitlyn pinned Eve in a Santa's Helper Eight-Diva tag match.
3. Sheamus beat Big Show in a non-title LumberJack Frost match in 15:10. The lumberjacks were the Uso's, Tyson Kidd, Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, 3MB, Titus O'Neil, Darren Young, and Tensai. The lumberjacks were sent to the back to reshoot their entrance wearing Santa hats. Tensai's hat didn't fit and the other wrestlers were laughing. Sheamus won with a Brogue Kick. The lumberjacks all fought inside the ring afterwards.
David Otunga came out for a promo to speak about Santa and Alberto Del Rio. Otunga said Del Rio is the victim and Santa is at fault. Zack Ryder came out and they set up a match...
4. Zack Ryder beat David Otunga in 4:40. Ryder won with the Ruff Ryder.
5. The Miz and Kofi Kingston defeated Wade Barrett and Antonio Cesaro. Miz pinned Barrett following the Skull Crushing Finale in roughly 7:00.
John Cena will face Alberto Del Rio in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight.
6. Great Khali (w/Hornswoggle) beat Brad Maddox is in progress. Maddox sang "Brad Maddox is coming to town" while walking to the ring. Khali and Hornswoggle were dressed as elves. Damn, Khali can barely walk. Maddox botched a dropkick. Khali won with a Punjabi Plunge in 3:25. Khali butchered a Christmas song.
C.M. Punk and Paul Heyman came out for a promo. Punk insulted Pittsburgh and the Steelers. He spoke about Christmas being ruined because he is unable to compete. He told the fans to blame Ryback for ruining Christmas. Punk was upset that Ryback is being rewarded with a title shot rather than being punished. Punk said he is in a bad mood due to rehabbing his knee.
Heyman took the mic and told fans not to boo Punk since he has been champion for 400 consecutive days. He said Ryback had two extraordinary opportunities to wrestle for the WWE Championship and he failed both times. Ryback came out and announced that his title match on the first Raw of 2013 will be a TLC match. Ryback chanted TLC instead of Feed Me More
Raw will return to Pittsburgh three weeks before WrestleMania 29 with a Raw TV event on March 18.
7. Daniel Bryan beat Damien Sandow. Bryan won via submission in 5:40 with the Yes! Lock.
8. Santino Marella, Brodus Clay, The Uso's, Tyson Kidd, and Justin Gabriel defeated Tensai, 3MB, and The Prime Time Players in an eight-man tag match. One of the Uso's pinned Heath Slater in 6:15 following a top rope splash. It was a fast paced match.
9. John Cena defeated Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight in 12:30. There were wreaths, Christmas trees, and presents around the ring. It was like WCW Uncensored. Del Rio grabbed a mic and said what happened to Santa was an accident and he wasn't trying to hurt him. Cena unwrapped a present at ringside and found a chair, which he struck Del Rio with.
Ricardo slid a present to Del Rio, but he unwrapped it and found a pie. He tried to use it, but Cena ducked. They fought up the ramp and Cena unwrapped a monitor, which he struck Del Rio with. Del Rio opened another gift and found a teddy bear. Vince McMahon had to be cracking up somewhere. Cena hit Ricardo with a wreath and a box.
Cena struck Del Rio with a tree. He unwrapped a bowling ball and rolled it into Del Rio's yam bag. He screwed up his first bowl, so he did a retake. Cena opened another gift and found a fire extinguisher, which he sprayed at Del Rio. Santa (Mick Foley) came out and hit Ricardo with a sack of toys. Cena hit the Attitude Adjustment on Del Rio and got the win.
Santa gave Del Rio and Ricardo gifts despite what happened to him. Cena said it's a Christmas miracle and it's about forgiveness. Cena thanked the fans and the crew. He and Foley wished everyone a Merry Christmas. They handed out gifts to fans to close out the show. Good night from Pittsburgh.
1. Kane beat Cody Rhodes. Cody exposed a turnbuckle. Kane ended up taking advantage of the exposed turnbuckle and then chokeslammed Rhodes for the win. The crowd seems tired after sitting through Smackdown already.
2. Kaitlyn pinned Eve in a Santa's Helper Eight-Diva tag match.
3. Sheamus beat Big Show in a non-title LumberJack Frost match in 15:10. The lumberjacks were the Uso's, Tyson Kidd, Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, 3MB, Titus O'Neil, Darren Young, and Tensai. The lumberjacks were sent to the back to reshoot their entrance wearing Santa hats. Tensai's hat didn't fit and the other wrestlers were laughing. Sheamus won with a Brogue Kick. The lumberjacks all fought inside the ring afterwards.
David Otunga came out for a promo to speak about Santa and Alberto Del Rio. Otunga said Del Rio is the victim and Santa is at fault. Zack Ryder came out and they set up a match...
4. Zack Ryder beat David Otunga in 4:40. Ryder won with the Ruff Ryder.
5. The Miz and Kofi Kingston defeated Wade Barrett and Antonio Cesaro. Miz pinned Barrett following the Skull Crushing Finale in roughly 7:00.
John Cena will face Alberto Del Rio in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight.
6. Great Khali (w/Hornswoggle) beat Brad Maddox is in progress. Maddox sang "Brad Maddox is coming to town" while walking to the ring. Khali and Hornswoggle were dressed as elves. Damn, Khali can barely walk. Maddox botched a dropkick. Khali won with a Punjabi Plunge in 3:25. Khali butchered a Christmas song.
C.M. Punk and Paul Heyman came out for a promo. Punk insulted Pittsburgh and the Steelers. He spoke about Christmas being ruined because he is unable to compete. He told the fans to blame Ryback for ruining Christmas. Punk was upset that Ryback is being rewarded with a title shot rather than being punished. Punk said he is in a bad mood due to rehabbing his knee.
Heyman took the mic and told fans not to boo Punk since he has been champion for 400 consecutive days. He said Ryback had two extraordinary opportunities to wrestle for the WWE Championship and he failed both times. Ryback came out and announced that his title match on the first Raw of 2013 will be a TLC match. Ryback chanted TLC instead of Feed Me More
Raw will return to Pittsburgh three weeks before WrestleMania 29 with a Raw TV event on March 18.
7. Daniel Bryan beat Damien Sandow. Bryan won via submission in 5:40 with the Yes! Lock.
8. Santino Marella, Brodus Clay, The Uso's, Tyson Kidd, and Justin Gabriel defeated Tensai, 3MB, and The Prime Time Players in an eight-man tag match. One of the Uso's pinned Heath Slater in 6:15 following a top rope splash. It was a fast paced match.
9. John Cena defeated Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight in 12:30. There were wreaths, Christmas trees, and presents around the ring. It was like WCW Uncensored. Del Rio grabbed a mic and said what happened to Santa was an accident and he wasn't trying to hurt him. Cena unwrapped a present at ringside and found a chair, which he struck Del Rio with.
Ricardo slid a present to Del Rio, but he unwrapped it and found a pie. He tried to use it, but Cena ducked. They fought up the ramp and Cena unwrapped a monitor, which he struck Del Rio with. Del Rio opened another gift and found a teddy bear. Vince McMahon had to be cracking up somewhere. Cena hit Ricardo with a wreath and a box.
Cena struck Del Rio with a tree. He unwrapped a bowling ball and rolled it into Del Rio's yam bag. He screwed up his first bowl, so he did a retake. Cena opened another gift and found a fire extinguisher, which he sprayed at Del Rio. Santa (Mick Foley) came out and hit Ricardo with a sack of toys. Cena hit the Attitude Adjustment on Del Rio and got the win.
Santa gave Del Rio and Ricardo gifts despite what happened to him. Cena said it's a Christmas miracle and it's about forgiveness. Cena thanked the fans and the crew. He and Foley wished everyone a Merry Christmas. They handed out gifts to fans to close out the show. Good night from Pittsburgh.
Phoenixazure
Member
No Shield. Not watching.
also the CrankyVince tweets made a lot of sense reading the spoilers.
also the CrankyVince tweets made a lot of sense reading the spoilers.
DeanAmbroseNope.gif
http://www.wpxi.com/videos/news/pittsburgh-area-boy-battling-cancer-meets-hero-wwe/vkdYf/
http://www.wpxi.com/videos/news/wwe-star-daniel-bryan-looks-forward-to-meeting-his/vkcyW/
Bryan does his first make a wish type deal (though it's not an official Make-A-Wish I don't think), meeting a 7 year old with cancer that has Bryan as his favourite wrestler. Really cool stuff.
http://www.wpxi.com/videos/news/wwe-star-daniel-bryan-looks-forward-to-meeting-his/vkcyW/
Bryan does his first make a wish type deal (though it's not an official Make-A-Wish I don't think), meeting a 7 year old with cancer that has Bryan as his favourite wrestler. Really cool stuff.
slightconfuse
Banned
the Del Rio stuff sounds amazing but thats about it
Officerrob
Banned
There are no words for how bad that Raw sounds
funkystudent
Member
Next weeks RAW sounds awful but I bet we get some GIF's out of it.
If it was Ryback 'RELEASE HIM. DANGER TO EVERYONE'
Along with GGG. Soulplaya will be pleased.
http://www.wpxi.com/videos/news/pittsburgh-area-boy-battling-cancer-meets-hero-wwe/vkdYf/
http://www.wpxi.com/videos/news/wwe-star-daniel-bryan-looks-forward-to-meeting-his/vkcyW/
Bryan does his first make a wish type deal (though it's not an official Make-A-Wish I don't think), meeting a 7 year old with cancer that has Bryan as his favourite wrestler. Really cool stuff.
Nice story. Shame about the cancer. At least the young ones are developing good taste in wrestlers
A gameplay vid that I saw of the iPhone version looked terrible. Has anyone played this thing? It's been out for a long time at this point.
Officerrob
Banned
It's awful
Professor Beef
Banned
So this is who the infamous "globetrotter clickers" worshipped in this thread? What a bunch of no-hopers.
It was RAW on repeat.
Officerrob
Banned
All you need to know about Smackdown:
Ziggler, AJ, and Big E are a group
Ryback will get a title shot at the first Raw in 2013
That's it
Ziggler, AJ, and Big E are a group
Ryback will get a title shot at the first Raw in 2013
That's it
Buckethead
Banned
I think it's because he sold his fake orgasms too well.
wcw2000.tumblr.com
Commercial free Smackdown? How about commercial free WCW Uncensored 2000!
WCW Uncensored 3/19/2000
The one time a year WCW goes EXTREME!
TO THE BACK. Team Package arrives with Flair wearing a particularly awful shirt. Sid and Hogan talk about watching each other's backs. Shittiest NWO arrive. A LIMO!?!
TAFKAPI vs Psychosis WCW Crusierweight Championship
Prince is wearing a shirt that Manshion Gaf would probably love.
Music starts playing and no one knows what is going on. It's BODYDONNA SKIP! WE KNOW WHO THAT IS! He comes out to be on commentary. The only person without a dead life or dead career here is Charles Robinson. Candido is bitching about how he's been jerked around every where he's been and he's sick of it. Tree of Woe followed with the Cactus Knee drop from Prince. Chris mentions that he doesn't get a valet despite having the best one ever. So expect a Sunny run in in the next show or two. Man, that shirt is making me dizzy. Super rana from Hypnosis only gets two. High angled sit out gourdbuster drops Prince on his stupid shit smeared face. Juvi and Paisely get into a cat fight! She beats his ass. guillotine leg drop! But he is distracted by Sharmell and gets hit with the diving DDT. Really awkward and bad looking finish.
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene talks with Bam Bam about The Wall. Before they send it back, Tony says "Now that's how you fill some time".
XS (Lenny and Lodi/Idol/Rave) vs The Screamin' Demons
How the fuck did Lenny and Lodi get on PPV? Ms. Hancock is out before the match. It's PPV. I hope she does some extra dancing. Lodi doesn't appreciate it. She's not "rizat" material to them. Probably because she doesn't have a peener. Norman comes out of the casket. Tony offers to make tea with lemon for Stacy. SMILEY SLAM! Lane and Lodi aren't very good. Lodi is worse, but Lane isn't very good despite trying pretty hard. Tony is now jealous of El Dandy. This is really a Thunder match at best. Skull Crushing Finale only gets two, because it is broken up by Demon. Madden keeps making KISS song puns. Lodi taps out to the chicken wing. Lenny and Lodi steal Stacy. So no dancing. Fuck this company. Screamin' Demons bring her back to the ring and have her dance in the ring. She does the big wiggle to Norman. They get Billy Silverman to join in.
TO THE BACK. Booker and Kidman are still having some issues, but they have a match tonight and have to team up. David/Crowbar tell Daffney she has to stay in the back tonight.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs The Wall
LARIATOOOO. Bam Bam's head got knocked right off. Diving headbutt about a minute in only gets two. A running high knee almost gets Wall the win. Bam Bam comes back with a running tornado DDT. Out to the floor. Bam Bam got chokeslamed through a table which made one of the monitors on it explode (?). Crowbar and David attack Wall. EMTs are tending to Bam Bam. Seems like Bam Bam is actually hurt, but you never know. Ed Ferrarra is out in non Oklahoma gimmick. Wall and Crowbar are half way up the TurnerTron. Wall chokeslams him through the stage. GOOD GOD HE'S BROKEN IN HALF! THAT KILLED HIM! HE'S DEAD! Crowbar is carted out immediately.
TO THE BACK. Half the locker room is in the back checking on Crowbar as he's getting loaded in to the ambulance. Brian Knobs is disgusted and now dedicates his hardcore title match to Crowbar and Bam Bam.
3 Count vs Brian Knobs WCW Hardcore Championship gauntlet match.
Shane is wearing Jamie-San's mask to protect his nose. Madden calls him Zorro just the same. Tony stops and asks how he's supposed to call this match or how this show can go on after what happened to Crowbar. Knobs comes out and then runs all the way to the back. He forgot to bring his weapons. Seems like maybe they wouldn't have a hardcore match right after Crowbar being murdered. Each member of the band hit a diving move off a rickety paint ladder. Knobs no sells them and extinguishing the fire. Shane is eliminated after having a chair placed on his broken face and hit with a mop handle. "What would a hardcore match be without the table gimmick?" "GIMMICK?!?!" Evan is Awesomebombed through a table.
Tony doesn't seem to be bothered like he was with Crowbar. Knobs went to body slam Shannon through a table, but Shane came in and drop kicked him, sending him through/on the table and Shannon got the pin. But Knobs was in the ropes, so the match was restarted. Rope breaks count in hardcore matches? Second rope splash with a trash can gets Knobs the win. This was pretty much a squash. New champion. "Wow. What a series of bumps that was."
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene with Harlem Heat 2K Inc. They have a match with Booker/Kidman tonight. BUT WHO IS LIMO?! Vamp is in the back talking about things that he sees things that make him feel bad and make him think about doing bad things and that isn't who he wants to be.
Booker/Kidman vs Harlem Heat 2K INC
Torrie looking fine as fuck. Kidman and Booker are working well as a team. Ahmed is SO FAT. Swoll got hit with the ax kick while in the ropes and completely no sold it. Double pump kick, kind of, to Kidman. Ahmed then did one on his own and actually got his leg up high enough to hit Kidman in the face with it. SQUAKIN' YAK. Oh fuck. Ahmed tried to do a plancha over the railing and only made it half way. What the fuck was he thinking? Lol, man. Lol.
Book hits the Book End on both guys, but gets caught in a double 110th street slam. Kidman broke the pin, but got tossed out. Kidman pins Big T with a Harlem side kick assisted sunset flip.
Recap of Wall murdering Bam Bam and Crowbar.
Finlay vs Vampiro Falls Count Anywhere
Update on Bam Bam and Crowbar: Both have severe concussions, Bam Bam separated his shoulder, Crowbar broke multiple ribs and bruised his hip. They brawl for a bit in the ring. Vamp hits his top rope spin kick and Finlay hits the Finlay roll. They take it into the stands. IT'S THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM! Finlay changes his mind and takes him to the men's room. "You know what'd be a good hold to use in the women's bathroom? The urine-nagai." They got into the handicap stall. The one next to it is locked. Vampiro jumped off the top of the stall, but got caught with a trash can. Now they are in the concession area. Finlay tried to throw Vamp off the balcony outside. Security really fucking sucks. They aren't even keeping fans away from the wrestlers. Vamp got back dropped on the pavillion floor. Oh fuck, a security guard just got decked and knocked on his ass. Vamp hits the Nail in the coffin in the mess and wins the match. It was like a straight up mosh pit out there. Fucking terrible security. Jesus.
TO THE BACK. Shittiest NWO talk. Recap of the Harris Brothers/Mamalukes feud. Gene talks to the champs. Thumb breaking will happen tonight.
Harris Brothers vs The Mamalukes WCW Tag Team Championship
This is some kind of gimmick match, but I don't know what. No DQ. Fuck this shit. The Brooklyn Bomb to the Harris Brothers. I can't even pretend to give a fuck about this match. I really hate the Harris Brothers. They win with the H-Bomb in a no DQ match that featured nothing besides a belt shot that would make it any different than a normal match. It was just a straight, normal tag match.
TO THE BACK. BUT WHO IS LIMO?! Finlay demanded some interview time. He feels like he's beaten respect into Vampiro. He earned Fit's respect tonight. Gene is with Team Package. Lex is going to kill Sting. Hulk Hogan is going to bleed and sweat all night long. No virgin line this time. Recap of Dustin and Funk. Gene interviews The Undertaker about his upcoming match with Terry Funk. The American Nightmare.
Dustin Rhodes vs Terry Funk
Funk again does his Foghorn Leghorn impression with a chicken on his hand. Now Dustin's baby brother is attacked by his baby brother, a man in a chicken suit. "What a SWERVE by Terry Funk." It's a no DQ match, but a bull rope is the main weapon. Dustin just got more cowbell. Funk does his teeter totter on the ropes spot while he gets hit in the head with the cow bell. Dustin is trying to break Funker's neck. Now they are hooked up to the bull rope. So I guess it is actually a bull rope match. Funk just keeps kicking out of stuff. The chicken is back. And chicken sound effects play over the PA. I really hope that is Cody under there. "That's what the chicken gets for being cocky" is completely no sold. Funk grabs a mic and changes the rules to an I Quit match. Billy Silverman says no, so Funk hit him with the cow bell. Dustin does quit, but since it isn't an I Quit match, it doesn't count. But he verbally submitted, so that should count in any type of match, right? Piledriver on the cowbell keeps Funk down. They keep fighting after the bell. Dustin runs off and Funk starts to beat the chicken, but it is cut off to...
TO THE BACK. Gene is with Sid. He's going to watch is own back. He can't worry about Jeff or Team Package. Recap of Lex vs Sting.
Total Package vs Sting Lumberjack Cast match.
All lumberjacks are men that have had their arms broken by Lex. Mr. Perfect, Doug Dillinger, Jimmy Hart, Knobs, Finlay, Vampiro, Jimmy Hart. Liz was so hot in WCW. Lex apologizes for breaking all of those arms. He brings out his own lumberjacks. Humorus, Harlem Heat, Harris Brothers. Oh fuck. Lex did the NOD salute to Harlem Heat.
Didn't WWE do a lumberjack cast match around this time, too? Or am I think of HHH vs Rock where I think HHH had to get a leg cast put on or something? Sting's in ring return for the first time since Starrcade. Lex is out and Tony pops huge for Doug Dillinger laying in shots on Luger. Oh shit. Tank is coming out. He comes out just to knock out Doug Dillinger. The rest of the lumberjacks are now fighting up the ramp and backstage. So now it is just a normal match now? Only WCW. Vampiro is left. Out comes Flair. Flair and Vampiro are fighting out on the floor. Flair is in the ring trying to fight with Sting, which never really works out for him. Stinger Splash! Liz hits Sting with the bat. Jimmy Hart grabs her and drags her to the back while threatening to beat her with a Hogan weight belt. Hmm. If that was any man besides Jimmy Hart, that'd be really uncomfortable. Lex has Sting up in the rack, Vamp hits Lex in the back with that bat, Scorpion Death Drop, and Sting wins! Sting and Vampiro share a moment. Man. Vamp has been put over so hard. It's awesome.
TO THE BACK. Gene asks Tank why he attacked Dillinger. It was for fining him or something. Recap of Sid/Jarrett. Really, this isn't going to be the main event? The limo door was opened but it it to Jeff Jarrett coming to the arena before we could see. There has been a change in format! Mike Graham informs Sid that he's up now. "Are you sure?" Sid really seems like the nicest dude when he's not talking like Sid. Michael Buffer is here.
Jeff Jarrett vs Sid WCW Heavyweight Championship
This one is for Jeff Jarrett week:
Jarrett will allow the YAKs to flash when he wins the title. I wonder how overbooked the finish will be. Only in wrestling is having water poured/thrown in your face sold as a devastating maneuver. They are in the crowd already. This actually isn't any kind of stipulation match. Oh, fuck me. The Harris Brothers are out. I don't wish for wrestlers deaths, but I wish they had died. We lost Owen and Eddie. Why we still got Harris Brothers? Extended sleeper sequence. I want a body glove elbow supporter. I wish I could be Sid for Halloween. Sadly, I'm a foot shorter, I have dark hair that has started falling out, and I'm not willing to shave my beard. Ref bump. Guitar shot. Jeff waves for someone to come down. Slick Johnson bounces down to the ring, but he was followed by Hulk Hogan! I'd love to see Hogan somehow win the title in this match. Hogan drops the leg and pulls Sid on top of Jarrett for the win! Out comes Scott Steiner, who wipes Hulk out with a guitar. Sid takes out the Harris Brothers. Flair is out with the strap.
Ric Flair vs Hulk Hogan Yavapai Strap Match.
Jimmy Hart is out with the crazy eyes.
Yes. WCW did have a strap match and a bull rope match on the same card. They're brawling out on the floor now. This is really awkward. They can't figure out how to get the strap working for them. Hogan gets mad at chops and Flair yells "I'm sorry!" Took Flair quite a while to be bleeding. How weird. Jimmy Hart gets to lay some strap shots in. They're on the stage fighting. Lex comes out and hits Hulk with a chair in the dome. Both old dudes are bleeding. Flair takes the strap off and chases Jimmy Hart Neither man has even attempted to actually win yet. Jimmy Hart keeps getting involved and gets beat up for it. Good. He deserved it this time. The Hogan/Hart pairing never made sense and just made Hulk seem like he was always secretly a heel. Flair has the tampon brass knuckles and decides to make a pin, which Mickie Jay COUNTS, in a strap match. This was just so Hogan could Hulk Up. They could have just had Macho come in and drop an elbow. Hulk gets to 3 corners, Lex comes out to stop him, so he takes Lex out and then PINS RIC FLAIR IN A STRAP MATCH. WCW.
Commercial free Smackdown? How about commercial free WCW Uncensored 2000!
WCW Uncensored 3/19/2000
The one time a year WCW goes EXTREME!
TO THE BACK. Team Package arrives with Flair wearing a particularly awful shirt. Sid and Hogan talk about watching each other's backs. Shittiest NWO arrive. A LIMO!?!
TAFKAPI vs Psychosis WCW Crusierweight Championship
Prince is wearing a shirt that Manshion Gaf would probably love.
Music starts playing and no one knows what is going on. It's BODYDONNA SKIP! WE KNOW WHO THAT IS! He comes out to be on commentary. The only person without a dead life or dead career here is Charles Robinson. Candido is bitching about how he's been jerked around every where he's been and he's sick of it. Tree of Woe followed with the Cactus Knee drop from Prince. Chris mentions that he doesn't get a valet despite having the best one ever. So expect a Sunny run in in the next show or two. Man, that shirt is making me dizzy. Super rana from Hypnosis only gets two. High angled sit out gourdbuster drops Prince on his stupid shit smeared face. Juvi and Paisely get into a cat fight! She beats his ass. guillotine leg drop! But he is distracted by Sharmell and gets hit with the diving DDT. Really awkward and bad looking finish.
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene talks with Bam Bam about The Wall. Before they send it back, Tony says "Now that's how you fill some time".
XS (Lenny and Lodi/Idol/Rave) vs The Screamin' Demons
How the fuck did Lenny and Lodi get on PPV? Ms. Hancock is out before the match. It's PPV. I hope she does some extra dancing. Lodi doesn't appreciate it. She's not "rizat" material to them. Probably because she doesn't have a peener. Norman comes out of the casket. Tony offers to make tea with lemon for Stacy. SMILEY SLAM! Lane and Lodi aren't very good. Lodi is worse, but Lane isn't very good despite trying pretty hard. Tony is now jealous of El Dandy. This is really a Thunder match at best. Skull Crushing Finale only gets two, because it is broken up by Demon. Madden keeps making KISS song puns. Lodi taps out to the chicken wing. Lenny and Lodi steal Stacy. So no dancing. Fuck this company. Screamin' Demons bring her back to the ring and have her dance in the ring. She does the big wiggle to Norman. They get Billy Silverman to join in.
TO THE BACK. Booker and Kidman are still having some issues, but they have a match tonight and have to team up. David/Crowbar tell Daffney she has to stay in the back tonight.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs The Wall
LARIATOOOO. Bam Bam's head got knocked right off. Diving headbutt about a minute in only gets two. A running high knee almost gets Wall the win. Bam Bam comes back with a running tornado DDT. Out to the floor. Bam Bam got chokeslamed through a table which made one of the monitors on it explode (?). Crowbar and David attack Wall. EMTs are tending to Bam Bam. Seems like Bam Bam is actually hurt, but you never know. Ed Ferrarra is out in non Oklahoma gimmick. Wall and Crowbar are half way up the TurnerTron. Wall chokeslams him through the stage. GOOD GOD HE'S BROKEN IN HALF! THAT KILLED HIM! HE'S DEAD! Crowbar is carted out immediately.
TO THE BACK. Half the locker room is in the back checking on Crowbar as he's getting loaded in to the ambulance. Brian Knobs is disgusted and now dedicates his hardcore title match to Crowbar and Bam Bam.
3 Count vs Brian Knobs WCW Hardcore Championship gauntlet match.
Shane is wearing Jamie-San's mask to protect his nose. Madden calls him Zorro just the same. Tony stops and asks how he's supposed to call this match or how this show can go on after what happened to Crowbar. Knobs comes out and then runs all the way to the back. He forgot to bring his weapons. Seems like maybe they wouldn't have a hardcore match right after Crowbar being murdered. Each member of the band hit a diving move off a rickety paint ladder. Knobs no sells them and extinguishing the fire. Shane is eliminated after having a chair placed on his broken face and hit with a mop handle. "What would a hardcore match be without the table gimmick?" "GIMMICK?!?!" Evan is Awesomebombed through a table.
Tony doesn't seem to be bothered like he was with Crowbar. Knobs went to body slam Shannon through a table, but Shane came in and drop kicked him, sending him through/on the table and Shannon got the pin. But Knobs was in the ropes, so the match was restarted. Rope breaks count in hardcore matches? Second rope splash with a trash can gets Knobs the win. This was pretty much a squash. New champion. "Wow. What a series of bumps that was."
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene with Harlem Heat 2K Inc. They have a match with Booker/Kidman tonight. BUT WHO IS LIMO?! Vamp is in the back talking about things that he sees things that make him feel bad and make him think about doing bad things and that isn't who he wants to be.
Booker/Kidman vs Harlem Heat 2K INC
Torrie looking fine as fuck. Kidman and Booker are working well as a team. Ahmed is SO FAT. Swoll got hit with the ax kick while in the ropes and completely no sold it. Double pump kick, kind of, to Kidman. Ahmed then did one on his own and actually got his leg up high enough to hit Kidman in the face with it. SQUAKIN' YAK. Oh fuck. Ahmed tried to do a plancha over the railing and only made it half way. What the fuck was he thinking? Lol, man. Lol.
Book hits the Book End on both guys, but gets caught in a double 110th street slam. Kidman broke the pin, but got tossed out. Kidman pins Big T with a Harlem side kick assisted sunset flip.
Recap of Wall murdering Bam Bam and Crowbar.
Finlay vs Vampiro Falls Count Anywhere
Update on Bam Bam and Crowbar: Both have severe concussions, Bam Bam separated his shoulder, Crowbar broke multiple ribs and bruised his hip. They brawl for a bit in the ring. Vamp hits his top rope spin kick and Finlay hits the Finlay roll. They take it into the stands. IT'S THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM! Finlay changes his mind and takes him to the men's room. "You know what'd be a good hold to use in the women's bathroom? The urine-nagai." They got into the handicap stall. The one next to it is locked. Vampiro jumped off the top of the stall, but got caught with a trash can. Now they are in the concession area. Finlay tried to throw Vamp off the balcony outside. Security really fucking sucks. They aren't even keeping fans away from the wrestlers. Vamp got back dropped on the pavillion floor. Oh fuck, a security guard just got decked and knocked on his ass. Vamp hits the Nail in the coffin in the mess and wins the match. It was like a straight up mosh pit out there. Fucking terrible security. Jesus.
TO THE BACK. Shittiest NWO talk. Recap of the Harris Brothers/Mamalukes feud. Gene talks to the champs. Thumb breaking will happen tonight.
Harris Brothers vs The Mamalukes WCW Tag Team Championship
This is some kind of gimmick match, but I don't know what. No DQ. Fuck this shit. The Brooklyn Bomb to the Harris Brothers. I can't even pretend to give a fuck about this match. I really hate the Harris Brothers. They win with the H-Bomb in a no DQ match that featured nothing besides a belt shot that would make it any different than a normal match. It was just a straight, normal tag match.
TO THE BACK. BUT WHO IS LIMO?! Finlay demanded some interview time. He feels like he's beaten respect into Vampiro. He earned Fit's respect tonight. Gene is with Team Package. Lex is going to kill Sting. Hulk Hogan is going to bleed and sweat all night long. No virgin line this time. Recap of Dustin and Funk. Gene interviews The Undertaker about his upcoming match with Terry Funk. The American Nightmare.
Dustin Rhodes vs Terry Funk
Funk again does his Foghorn Leghorn impression with a chicken on his hand. Now Dustin's baby brother is attacked by his baby brother, a man in a chicken suit. "What a SWERVE by Terry Funk." It's a no DQ match, but a bull rope is the main weapon. Dustin just got more cowbell. Funk does his teeter totter on the ropes spot while he gets hit in the head with the cow bell. Dustin is trying to break Funker's neck. Now they are hooked up to the bull rope. So I guess it is actually a bull rope match. Funk just keeps kicking out of stuff. The chicken is back. And chicken sound effects play over the PA. I really hope that is Cody under there. "That's what the chicken gets for being cocky" is completely no sold. Funk grabs a mic and changes the rules to an I Quit match. Billy Silverman says no, so Funk hit him with the cow bell. Dustin does quit, but since it isn't an I Quit match, it doesn't count. But he verbally submitted, so that should count in any type of match, right? Piledriver on the cowbell keeps Funk down. They keep fighting after the bell. Dustin runs off and Funk starts to beat the chicken, but it is cut off to...
TO THE BACK. Gene is with Sid. He's going to watch is own back. He can't worry about Jeff or Team Package. Recap of Lex vs Sting.
Total Package vs Sting Lumberjack Cast match.
All lumberjacks are men that have had their arms broken by Lex. Mr. Perfect, Doug Dillinger, Jimmy Hart, Knobs, Finlay, Vampiro, Jimmy Hart. Liz was so hot in WCW. Lex apologizes for breaking all of those arms. He brings out his own lumberjacks. Humorus, Harlem Heat, Harris Brothers. Oh fuck. Lex did the NOD salute to Harlem Heat.
Didn't WWE do a lumberjack cast match around this time, too? Or am I think of HHH vs Rock where I think HHH had to get a leg cast put on or something? Sting's in ring return for the first time since Starrcade. Lex is out and Tony pops huge for Doug Dillinger laying in shots on Luger. Oh shit. Tank is coming out. He comes out just to knock out Doug Dillinger. The rest of the lumberjacks are now fighting up the ramp and backstage. So now it is just a normal match now? Only WCW. Vampiro is left. Out comes Flair. Flair and Vampiro are fighting out on the floor. Flair is in the ring trying to fight with Sting, which never really works out for him. Stinger Splash! Liz hits Sting with the bat. Jimmy Hart grabs her and drags her to the back while threatening to beat her with a Hogan weight belt. Hmm. If that was any man besides Jimmy Hart, that'd be really uncomfortable. Lex has Sting up in the rack, Vamp hits Lex in the back with that bat, Scorpion Death Drop, and Sting wins! Sting and Vampiro share a moment. Man. Vamp has been put over so hard. It's awesome.
TO THE BACK. Gene asks Tank why he attacked Dillinger. It was for fining him or something. Recap of Sid/Jarrett. Really, this isn't going to be the main event? The limo door was opened but it it to Jeff Jarrett coming to the arena before we could see. There has been a change in format! Mike Graham informs Sid that he's up now. "Are you sure?" Sid really seems like the nicest dude when he's not talking like Sid. Michael Buffer is here.
Jeff Jarrett vs Sid WCW Heavyweight Championship
This one is for Jeff Jarrett week:
Jarrett will allow the YAKs to flash when he wins the title. I wonder how overbooked the finish will be. Only in wrestling is having water poured/thrown in your face sold as a devastating maneuver. They are in the crowd already. This actually isn't any kind of stipulation match. Oh, fuck me. The Harris Brothers are out. I don't wish for wrestlers deaths, but I wish they had died. We lost Owen and Eddie. Why we still got Harris Brothers? Extended sleeper sequence. I want a body glove elbow supporter. I wish I could be Sid for Halloween. Sadly, I'm a foot shorter, I have dark hair that has started falling out, and I'm not willing to shave my beard. Ref bump. Guitar shot. Jeff waves for someone to come down. Slick Johnson bounces down to the ring, but he was followed by Hulk Hogan! I'd love to see Hogan somehow win the title in this match. Hogan drops the leg and pulls Sid on top of Jarrett for the win! Out comes Scott Steiner, who wipes Hulk out with a guitar. Sid takes out the Harris Brothers. Flair is out with the strap.
Ric Flair vs Hulk Hogan Yavapai Strap Match.
Jimmy Hart is out with the crazy eyes.
Yes. WCW did have a strap match and a bull rope match on the same card. They're brawling out on the floor now. This is really awkward. They can't figure out how to get the strap working for them. Hogan gets mad at chops and Flair yells "I'm sorry!" Took Flair quite a while to be bleeding. How weird. Jimmy Hart gets to lay some strap shots in. They're on the stage fighting. Lex comes out and hits Hulk with a chair in the dome. Both old dudes are bleeding. Flair takes the strap off and chases Jimmy Hart Neither man has even attempted to actually win yet. Jimmy Hart keeps getting involved and gets beat up for it. Good. He deserved it this time. The Hogan/Hart pairing never made sense and just made Hulk seem like he was always secretly a heel. Flair has the tampon brass knuckles and decides to make a pin, which Mickie Jay COUNTS, in a strap match. This was just so Hogan could Hulk Up. They could have just had Macho come in and drop an elbow. Hulk gets to 3 corners, Lex comes out to stop him, so he takes Lex out and then PINS RIC FLAIR IN A STRAP MATCH. WCW.
Officerrob
Banned
They can get away with it because its Christmas Eve and nobody will be watching. I actually would have watched if the show didn't sound like trash.
LoserMakesGood
Member
Just started Super Smackdown and creative reads Wrasslegaf. They figured it out and Ziggler is killing it.
*earmuffs babe*
*earmuffs babe*
abstract alien
Member
Just caught up on Raw, and damn...all that unknown blackness at the end. Who the hell is that guy lol
He is going to be fed to Cena, isn't he? :-(
He is going to be fed to Cena, isn't he? :-(
Kccitystar
Member
All according to keikaku
abstract alien
Member
Sigh. More talent to be buried before they get a chance to grow.
Kccitystar
Member
They keep putting him in filler feuds while everybody else is developing to become main event caliber talent that he can run over. Again, all according to keikaku.
translator's note: keikaku means plan
Why is he in that match if he's a face? Is the other guy heel now? Did they shake hands before or after? The fuck!
I know we like to joke about Cena burying everyone (RIP Nexus), but he has actually been a punching bag for a big part of the year:
Royal Rumble: No decision vs. Kane
Elimination Chamber: Defeated Kane
Wrestlemania: Lost to The Rock
Extreme Rules: Defeated Brock Lesnar
Over the Limit: Lost to Laurinitis
No Way Out: Defeated Big Show
MitB: Won MitB, but was the first person to cash it in and not win the title
Summerslam: Lost to Punk
Night of Champions: No decision vs. Punk
Hell in a Cell: Jobbed to elbow surgery
Survivor Series: Lost to Punk
TLC: Lost to Ziggler
He also hasn't had a championship in over a year. I honestly think they are kind of over relying on the "attack Cena to get over as a heel" storyline. I do agree that he gets way too many title shots for doing nothing.
Royal Rumble: No decision vs. Kane
Elimination Chamber: Defeated Kane
Wrestlemania: Lost to The Rock
Extreme Rules: Defeated Brock Lesnar
Over the Limit: Lost to Laurinitis
No Way Out: Defeated Big Show
MitB: Won MitB, but was the first person to cash it in and not win the title
Summerslam: Lost to Punk
Night of Champions: No decision vs. Punk
Hell in a Cell: Jobbed to elbow surgery
Survivor Series: Lost to Punk
TLC: Lost to Ziggler
He also hasn't had a championship in over a year. I honestly think they are kind of over relying on the "attack Cena to get over as a heel" storyline. I do agree that he gets way too many title shots for doing nothing.
The problem is that it doesn't matter. Win or lose, Cena is the main event, Cena gets title shot after title shot. He's the main event and everything revolves around him, no matter what. If the Shield angle stays hot, he'll be facing them soon enough, as well.
he draws numbers. what do you want from him?
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