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WCW Monday Nitro 3-20-2000
On the heels of WCW Extreme Rules that saw Hulk Hogan pin Ric Flair in a strap match, Sid retain his title over Jeff Jarrett with help from Hulk Hogan, Hulk Hogan's match get moved to the main event last second, Scott Steiner return, Vampiro help Sting defeat Lex Luger, and the Harris Brothers win the tag titles, expect a show of Jeff Jarrett complaining about being screwed, Ric Flair losing his shit, and Sting to not show up.
EARLIER TODAY. Sid arrives, fist bumping a throng of fans outside. SID SID SID SID SID SID SID SID
And to start off the show, we get the champ talking with Mean Gene in the ring. What's next for Sid? "You can take a pig and put a purple ribbon around his neck, and go as far as to bring him into your living room, but it's still a pig. Jeff Jarret, you are a PIG!" Cue the pig. Jeff isn't done with Sid. The whole world knows that Jeff has pinned 3 times in the past few months and if it wasn't for "Hulk Holkan", he'd be the champ right now. Jeff asks for a tag match: If Jeff pins Sid, he gets a rematch. If Jarrett loses, he'll never ask for a title shot from Sid again. Double J brings his partner out: Scott Steiner, with tape over his mouth that had "censored" written on it.
He talks anyway. Sid says he can do this by himself, but he's going to find someone because he knows people want to beat some asses. This brings out Hulk Hogan. Sid marks out like a kid in the ring for him. I guess they got over their spat from 1992. Hulk says Sid is the man to get WCW back on track and he'd be glad to be Sid's partner tonight. Sid didn't actually ask, but he seems pretty excited over it.
Show run down. I don't know why Mark Madden does the RVD thumb pointing every week. Steiner/Jarrett vs Sid/Hogan. Total Package vs Vampiro. Sting will wrestle here tonight against...RIC FLAIR!
TO THE BACK. Team Package talk about their opponents. Flair grabs and rubs Lex's bicep. I think he wanted to fuck Lex Luger. Hardcore. Horsemen style. WHOOO.
Chris Candido heads to the arena. Mean Gene talks to Chavo. This week, Chavo steals Gene's wallet.
Chris Candido vs Lash LeRoux.
TAFKAPI and Paisley are on commentary. Well, Paisley is, since Prince doesn't talk. Jesus, Skip is fucking huge. Skip has no stupid gimmick/costume/valets, but he gets attacked by Lash, who was already tired of his bitching. I remember Candido coming in and being so unenthused about him, but I've come to recognize how enjoyable he was in the ring. All the way to the end. Madden makes a Big Josh reference. You'd think Chris would come out to the JHV of Back in Black, right? Nope. The JHV of I Love it Loud from KISS. Skip wins with the diving headbutt.
TO THE BACK. Lane and Lodi are talking about rats. Again. Stacy says she has some real men and Los Faboulousos. They'll have a match on Thunder. La Parka is dancing in the back by himself being awesome because he's mother fucking La Parka.
Finlay vs La Parka!
YES. Skull Captain in the hiiizzaouse. Lol. Whoever is doing the voice over is saying he's going to beat Fit's ass as La Parka is trying to hide the mic so Finlay doesn't beat the fuck out of him for it. That voice sounds like "An inner city urban type". Parka takes a weirdly huge bump for a back elbow. So much hang time. He hits a suicide dive through the ropes near the ring post. He puts Finlay on the chair and attempts a plancha, but Fit moves. Then they both do the Crane at each other leading to the Finlay roll for the win. This was fun. Finlay throws the mic back to La Parka, who throws it away before the Junk Yard Dog gets him in more trouble.
TO THE BACK. Kidman and Booker are chatting about last night. They've worked out their issues and are bros now. David and Daffney walk to the arena. Vampiro is in his boiler room talking about Lex and breaks and rips his cast off.
Mean Gene brings out David Flair and Daffney. Bam Bam and Crowbar are sharing a room at the hospital and there is one bed left. He wants Gene to bring out the Wall. Wall grabbed a chokeslam, but let David go. Just so he could hit him from behind. Daffney tries to save David with a fire extinguisher, but Wall no sells it and chokeslams David off the apron through a table. Really rough looking bump. The table snapped right in the center, but he went through it longwise instead of down the middle, so his torso slammed hard against one side and whiplashed against it. It looked rough.
Kidman/Booker vs The Harris Brothers
I don't know if this is a title match, but it'd be kind of weird considering Kidman/Booker have won all of one match together. I hope it is and Booker and Kidman win the titles. Regardless, the good news is that the reboot is 20 days away and the Harris Brothers never win the belts again. Booker botches the Book End on both guys. Belt shot that a ref finally fucking sees. Torrie jumps on one of the twins back and appears to have a wardrobe malfunction.
TO THE BACK. The Mamalukes are bummed and are not happy with Disco. Lex and Liz head to the arena. Vamp stalks the boiler room.
The Total Package vs Vampiro.
The lights go out, Kane's ring pyro explodes, and Vamp has teleported into the ring. Vamp has Lex up for a super frankensteiner and I lol at the thought of Lex taking that move. Obviously he doesn't. It's amazing how much louder and into the shows these crowds are compared to WWE crowds now. Even for weird random WCW stuff. Lex pretty much dominates this until Vamp gets out of the torture rack and hulks up. X FACTOR! Tony is as hyped as he can be. Lex barely kicks out of a top rope clothesline. This brings Flair out. Lex hits Vamp in the shoulder with the bat and puts him in the torture rack for the win. Like the finish to every Luger match for 2 months. Sting makes a save after the match.
TO THE BACK. Gene is in the NWO locker room. Steiner says some stuff. It's hard to make most of it out. But he's going to kick Hulk Hogan's ass tonight. Gene talks to the Undertaker about his match with Mr. Perfect tonight. Dustin's doing a legend killer's kind of gimmick now where he's sick of all the old guys and he's going to take them out.
TO LAST NIGHT. A post PPV press conference from last night where Hogan busts in to tell Sid he did a good job and then they start asking Hulk questions. Tony puts it over as Hulk putting Sid over. Madden sees it as Hogan sticking his nose in to steal the glory of someone who is getting more attention than him. I agree with Mark.
Norman Smiley vs Humorous.
I think Hugh was on Thunder once this year. This is his first Nitro. "He'll make ya chuckle and he'll make your knees buckle!" Smiley tried a butterfly suplex that didn't work. How did Hugh get that weird missing spot on his hair line? He could have had the win twice, but he keeps pulling Norman up at two. Hugh wins with the moonsault. But God of Thunder is playing. Demon comes out to check on his screaming bro, but Hugh lays him out, too.
TO THE BACK. Curt Hennig cuts a promo about the loss of respect in pro wrestling and how he's going to make Dustin earn it. Because Curt Hennig is unbeatable. Except for the past 3 years. Dustin heads to the arena. Gene is outside of Sid's locker room where Sid and Hogan are going over strategy.
Dustin Rhodes vs Curt Hennig
The Natural (Last) Outlaw American Nightmare Goldust Seven Black Reign. I kind of like Dustin here. Dustin has shitty tats. One is his daughter, but tattoos of faces are always a bad idea. Tony says Dustin has done it all in WCW. Well, besides winning the world title. But that doesn't count, I guess. They're on the floor and Dustin starts working over Perfect's broken arm. Then he gets DQd for ripping the cast off. So he punches Nick Patrick. Hulk Hogan (?) makes the save. Madden goes on a mini rant about how they should just have Hulk run in on every match, be in every segment, every promo all night. It's hard to disagree with him. Hogan interrupts Sid's promo tonight, his press conference last night, and now to save Hennig, but also manages to make sure he gets pops and does a little posing. In any other company, this would be building to Sid getting tired of Hulk's shit and turning on him. Actually, wasn't that kind of the basis for their WWF feud?
TO THE BACK. Gene talks with Sid. Sid wants Jimmy Hart to make sure no one can interfere tonight. How the fuck would Jimmy Hart be able to do that? Tank walks to the arena. Gene with Sting! You know, besides the hair and being a little softer, Sting really hasn't aged much.
Tank Abbott vs The Barbarian.
Meng was watching in the back, saying it won't be long. Barbie puts Billy Silverman on the ropes and tells him to stay out of it. Barbarian is actually getting a fight this time. He's actually getting the better of Tank. Barb with a SHOOT belly to belly. Barb puts the ref back on the ropes, which led to him getting KO'd. Tank was getting noticeably in better shape.
TO THE BACK. Flair and Sting head to the arena. "You've seen it before, but what will happen this time?" I can guess. Flair will get slammed off the top. Sting will get pissed after getting chopped and Flair will beg off, Flair will get awkwardly press slammed, Flair will get hip tosses out of the corner, Lex and Vampiro will get involved.
Ric Flair vs Sting.
I do admire that Sting has rocked the soul patch for over a decade now. That's dedication. This is your normal Flair/Sting match. Blatant kick to the little Stinger which is missed by Charles Robinsion. Naturally. Naitcherly? Let's see. Hip toss out of the corner. Slam off the top. Awkward press slam. Sting getting pissed after chops. Lex Luger coming out and getting Flair DQd. Vampiro out for the save. I called it. Almost in correct order, too. 5 for 5.
TO THE BACK. The NWO head to the ring. Sid and Hogan are also on the way. Sid is so excited to have Hulk Hogan as his partner. I like that WCW tried to pretend Sid was a young guy on the rise when he came back in 1999 and they still kind of talk about him him like that despite basically being booked like John Cena.
Sid/Hogan vs Jarrett/Steiner.
Sid comes out before Hogan. Madden points out this out. You know how Jesse and Brain were good heel announcers because what they said often had truth to it? Well, Mark Madden is really good at that when it comes to shitting on Hulk Hogan whenever he's on screen. Not only is it funny, but he's pretty dead on and makes a whole lot of sense. I can't imagine Hogan letting Steiner get in and stiff him. Steiner is in the ring with Sid. This is his first match in many months. He's been injured for a while and then was taken off TV after his suspension for SHOOTING on Ric Flair's teeth. He yells at Hogan that "I'll fuck you up!". He came in and manhandled Sid. SID, the world champion and fucking SID is the FIP in this match. Hogan is dominating both heels. Sid appears to not be pleased with the Hogan chants. Sid SWERVES Hogan by chokeslamming him. He pins Hogan, his partner, and Mickie Jay counts it. So Sid/Hogan defeat Jarrett/Steiner by Sid pinning Hogan. Tony says this was a completely unprovoked attack, but he's full of shit. Hulk clearly had this coming. The angle probably could have gone on for more than two whole nights, but I like it when Hogan get's what's coming to him.
Wiki says that Sid failed a drug test before WM8, but they allowed him to work the show and then sent him on the Euro tour before suspending him, but he quit instead. I get a kick out of Sid getting his biggest pay days even after failing the drug screen and then being all "Whatevs. I'm totes outta here, bros" while fist bumping co-workers as he walked away from crying Vince.