Collete
Member
We're here for everyone, I'm a pretty decent listener if you ever need someone to listen to. Feel free to PM. (Same goes for you blame space, if needed)
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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We're here for everyone, I'm a pretty decent listener if you ever need someone to listen to. Feel free to PM. (Same goes for you blame space, if needed)
User 100115
Banned
I am here for anyone that needs me, actually.
Anyone can PM me anytime if they need to talk, and as many in the thread can attest, I won't break confidence.
Collete
Member
I would reply with something meaningful, but I don't see a medium with my depression. It's either extremely high or extremely low.
The only logical answer I can give you is probably when I stopped caring about everything but still remaining fairly lucid is my "medium" I suppose.
(I think my medium is right now how I am feeling now that I think about it)
Agent Cooper
Member
I come in here all the time and just leave little quips about how I feel.
I don't know how I feel anymore. It chNges drastically and rapidly. I just want to be okay.
I don't know how I feel anymore. It chNges drastically and rapidly. I just want to be okay.
blame space
Banned
you're okay in my book cooper.
Collete
Member
I do this too as well, in a way it helps monitors my own "progress" and at least alerts others something isn't ok. We're still here for you Cooper.
Agent Cooper
Member
Collete
Member
shadowsdarknes
Member
Fuck it, here's to everyone in this thread drinking Rubinoff vodka, or any alcohol for comfort.
blame space
Banned
popov holla
scar tissue
Banned
Does any kind of physical contact do anything for you?
You might have some kind of light asperger's/autism if not.
depressiongaffers looking for love just follow this guys example
starts at 60 seconds if that doesnt work
no, but it would make perfect sense if I was autistic
starts at 60 seconds if that doesnt work
no, but it would make perfect sense if I was autistic
Finaika
Member
That guy is exactly like me.
really?
shadowsdarknes
Member
Same thought.
Holy shit, that sounds... unhealthy. Do you have the option of not working this much/getting a better schedule, or are you forced to, due to life circumstances? I can't imagine a schedule like that helping :/
Yeah I'd probably fail at that as well, ending up a vegetable for the rest of my life.
He has been good, we all have our limits I guess.
Oh I deserve them, although I still see rock bottom ahead of me so the worst is yet to come. If I had the money for it now then drugs would definitely be something I would turn to... I guess I'm "lucky" I don't have any money of my own nowadays.
we have just reached enlightenment
Prax
Member
Find another hobby to fill up that time if you can't stand blank time. Just pick one and try it out!
Like.. building models out of scrap materials (making buildings, landscapes that Warhammer pieces could be displayed on), photography/photoblog, exercise/sports, learning how to become a master handyman, write reviews for every show and movie you've watched.. anything!
Writing is still good. So try to keep at it. Also put in some time to just relax and even meditate.
It sounds like you have a good thing going. You just need to find balance lest you burn out and flop between extremes.
You could be waiting for grief to settle in. Maybe you're just in shock right now. Give it some time and be there with your friends and family for support (they might need you and you might need them).
Also, I have a headache and am off to bed soon after staying up all night arting again,
but I want to leave the general message of love and support.
AND DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR PASSIONS NO MATTER HOW POOPIT THEY ARE!
AND CONGRATULATE YOURSELF MORE FOR THE LITTLE THINGS YOU MANAGE TO DO!
When you think of the times you spent with your friend does that make you feel happy?
The best way to find your happy medium is to meditate. The best way to learn how to meditate is through my 1 minute classes
Lesson 1 Lesson 2 Lesson 3 Lesson 4 Lesson 5 Lesson 6
Next class is now in session. These next 2 lessons will teach you probably the 2 most important skills in meditation. These skills transfer to the rest of life and without them you can't really feel happiness. So I'd recommend everyone have a go.
Lesson 7 (60 seconds of meditation)
The last lesson focused on developing the skill of concentration. This lesson will focus on developing your focus
(If you are extra perceptive you'll notice all the lessons have already been developing both skills).The human brain is amazing. You can read GAF while listening to music and eating a chocolate, all while thinking about what you are going to do tomorrow. All of these require the processing of huge amounts of information. This unfocused mode is how most people operate a lot of the time. This is magnified in people that have depression, since the depressed or anxious mind can have a non stop wave of thought after thought imposing on everything that you do.
Being less focused does however dilute everything. In the example given you won't enjoy the chocolate that much. If you focused on the chocolate and exactly how it tasted you would enjoy it more, it would literally taste better. This is because you are switching from crunch mode where you process as much information as you can(but not very well) to precision mode where you are processing less information but in more detail. If you take in more detail of something good, obviously you will enjoy it more.
Even a 1% distraction will reduce your enjoyment so focus is crucial. The good thing though is that although you are looking in more detail, you are processing less information in less different ways, so you are taxing your brain less. This fits in well with meditation since doing 'less' helps you relax. And again being relaxed helps you focus, another positive cycle
So this lesson is even simpler(but harder
). You can be sitting, standing or lying down. Then you will start your Ujjayi breathing. Close your eyes. Keep your mouth closed. Start with your throat slightly contracted and push the breath along the back of the throat. You should hear the Darth Vader sound. Try to do the 3,6,3 breathing.Start breathing by filling your stomach and then filling your lungs. Really focus on your breathing. Focus on filling your belly, feel the rise of it, then the rise of your lungs. When you breathe out focus on the fall of your lungs and belly. Focus on the skin around them, and also focus on what's inside your body. Focus on the sound of your breath and control it, focus on the speed of the air going through your throat and into your lungs and control it. Focus on the whole process of breathing and try to regulate everything so that it all in sync and all as smooth as possible. Try to feel everything in as much detail as possible.
This is definitely not doing nothing, you really have to work your conscious mind here. You have to try focus, and then you have to concentrate to try to maintain your focus. Try to do this for around 1 minute. 3+6+3= 12 seconds for each breathing cycle. So 1 minute = 5 breaths. You first breath or two is likely shorter so probably do 6 or 7 breaths.
And is does not give up!
shadowsdarknes
Member
That's a horrible thing to say, man. Hitting rock bottom isn't something you need in order to get back on your feet. And turning to drugs is the absolute worst decision you would make for yourself. I reflected on where I was heading, the consequences of my actions, and the type of person I had turned into after that fight with my father.
A few days later it was like a light bulb switch turned on inside of my head that let me turn my life around. Don't just call it quits, man, you would be surprised at how quickly you can turn things around to. It isn't easy but it is attainable.
The best advice I can truly give to you is when your feeling down or start doubting yourself, go against your instinct and do the complete opposite of what your mind is telling you. I set a plan for myself each morning and if there is something on that plan that isn't done towards the end of the day, like getting to the gym, or in the morning for class, I tell myself, "the easy choice is never the right choice for happiness."
Developing these mental tricks to catch myself from these negative thoughts and deviations really helped me get to where I am today too. I'm still unhappy, but no longer depressed even though I still have those days on occasion.
Dice
Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
The problem is not philosophical in nature. Depression drags rationality into a dark alley and beats the shit out of it.
User 100115
Banned
This. I spend most of my time in this thread telling people that their brain is tricking them and to fight it with all they are worth, and trying to distract them from the horribleness, and I still occasionally get drug down that alley as well.
So... I'm feeling a little selfish right now.
I received a call this morning from my great aunt letting me know that next week the family was getting together to support those who are currently going through a rough time, mainly my aunt whose son is currently suffering from necrosis of the liver, and my cousin whose brother recently died.
That's all well and good and everything, but one of the thoughts that come to my mind was "Where was/has the family been when I need(ed) them?"
Depression really is a silent cancer and not a lot of people understand it...
I received a call this morning from my great aunt letting me know that next week the family was getting together to support those who are currently going through a rough time, mainly my aunt whose son is currently suffering from necrosis of the liver, and my cousin whose brother recently died.
That's all well and good and everything, but one of the thoughts that come to my mind was "Where was/has the family been when I need(ed) them?"
Depression really is a silent cancer and not a lot of people understand it...
What is his best book for a depressed person? I'll read it.
I'm still dealing with this. I'll talk about it more later this week in an interview if Piano and I can find a time to make it work.
Briefly, I lost two friends, both in their twenties, both completely unexpectedly. One died in his sleep, and I was at the funeral two days later, while the other disappeared and it took years and years for the full story of how she was randomly murdered to come out. That was hard enough for anyone, but I had to face it with this completely blunted emotional response. Like you, I felt bad for not feeling as bad as I should. I just wanted to cry, just let part of it out, but I couldn't, not much, anyway.
I sort of eventually took comfort in the fact that I felt bad about not feeling so bad - I knew how I should feel, so I still felt somewhat human. The pain and the healing and all that stuff will come. You'll feel a little better and you'll just break down because you'll think about your friend. That still happens to me. That will happen, and, in the meantime, I just always thought that my friends would know how I felt, even if it was all clouded by depression.
This might be one of the very, very few times in my life that depression was kind of an asset. My wife and I both knew these two people before we met each other; the murder victim was my wife's best friend. Being depressed can almost act as an emotional equivalent of an electrical ground. You can be "strong" for others (even if it's not really strength, deep down) and take some of their burden. You can't feel any worse, so that pain is dissipated just that little bit. You don't have to say much, or pretend that you're going through it; you just have to be there and listen. It feels just as bad (or you feel just as much nothing) as anything else, so you might as well.
The other thing is that people appreciate honesty. I've talked to friends of friends and the family members of my deceased friends, and at some point, I just told them, "I feel so bad that I just can't get myself to cry." We talked about that just a tiny bit, but they basically told me it was okay; that my friends knew how I felt (and continue to feel) about them, and they love me and they're so grateful that their friend/son/daughter/fiance knew me.
I'm going to cry typing this. And I have palliative medicine next! I'm going to be a wreck.
My son is named after my friend who passed in his sleep; if we have a daughter, my wife and I want to name her after our other friend. We were going to do that anyway, bu we never got to tell them (they had great names!).
The single best thing I did during all of this, aside from sticking by my wife (then girlfriend) and just remembering our friends and all that, was, after our son was born, I wrote to my friend's parents and told them what we had named our first kid and why we did it - all the reasons I loved him. And I shared a few stories about him that I will always cherish. I always thought I would do it for them, but it ended up helping me just as much. It still kind of helps me process everything. I shared a copy of my letter with some people in this thread; I can pass it along, if you'd like.
Gotta run to lecture! Crap! Hit me on skype or PMs if you need to talk!
I appreciate the words.
We will see where I am tomorrow, the day where I'm about to live a scenario most people only have nightmares about. Having a very important presentation with no preparation, and I mean literally no preparation, no papers, no pre-work, no power point no nothing. I told the client that it'll be more "impromptu" since I honestly don't have any material to show but I'm not sure he thought I was kidding or not.
In the end I'm glad this house of cards I call life is coming crashing down, I need it. I need it badly, been running from it all for so long I honestly don't remember when the last time I felt like a "normal" human being was. Instead of this fake facade I've built for myself to be able to survive one day at a time.
and yet he never gets anywhere
The journey is the reward
The journey is painful. Or, in the cats case, eventually exhausting.
T-minus 14h, not going to get a second of sleep tonight. So gaf, what do you suggest I do tomorrow when I meet those people I'm supposed to present my project for ? :'(
A-fucking-men.
A-fucking-men.
The journey is the reward
A journey implies that you arent staying at the same spot
That's the plan right now. Meet up with them and simply say that I haven't made a lot of progress at all. I'm sure they'll be disappointed but what the hell.
You can state that you have been depressed and need help/time/whatever. People should understand and appreciate that you are not coming up with excuses.
Thus should. They will if they are rational, mature people.
Sadly I'm not betting on that they are rational. Thus I'm not going to mention anything about my mental health or lack thereof. I still feel pretty shit now, thought I'd be able to cope but I'm feeling literally sick now.
Collete
Member
My grandmother just left back to India and it was last time I'll ever her see her again (she's like 70+ and rarely can make a trip here, last time she came when I was a year old).
I just feel like crap....I feel I didn't do enough for her (even though I did what I could despite the language barrier we had between us) but I still feel I fell short. I don't even know why I'm crying...I just hate this feeling...
I just feel like crap....I feel I didn't do enough for her (even though I did what I could despite the language barrier we had between us) but I still feel I fell short. I don't even know why I'm crying...I just hate this feeling...
Collete
Member
thanks...
*snug*
I know she's not dead but I'm still crying....I know I miss her but I feel I don't have a right to because I barely talked to her and crap...
This is what matters.
I know the feeling, every time I visit my grandma (once a year when I'm in the country) I feel like it might be the last time.
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