Depression

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Smiley90 said:
This is what matters.

I know the feeling, every time I visit my grandma (once a year when I'm in the country) I feel like it might be the last time.
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I guess...Maybe I didn't do enough?...

All I had in common with her was art and cooking and all i could do was smile and nod because I could do nothing else but I did try to interact with her much as I could...
I really feel I didn't do enough now that I think about it...
 
KingFire said:
A person I love just died, and I feel nothing. Feeling nothing makes me feel sad because I think I am supposed to feel sad that a friend died, yet I felt nothing.

What's wrong with me, Gaf?
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That's how I was with my grandpa. It'll hit you eventually one day when you start to think about them and miss them. Everybody grieves differently.
 
I know most people in here think my problems are stupid, so I guess this will be the last time I post in here, but I just wanted to verbalize how I'm feeling right now.

I think I'm done trying to be something I'm not. I'm not meant to be happy, I'm not meant to be content with how I look, I'm not meant to be in a relationship. I am meant to be sad and alone and hate how ugly I am.

I just need to accept it and then at least I can stop trying. Trying just makes me more depressed because I'm just going to fail anyway.

So anyway...this is the last time I'll post in here. I just wanted to say it. :/
 
Leeness said:
I know most people in here think my problems are stupid, so I guess this will be the last time I post in here, but I just wanted to verbalize how I'm feeling right now.

I think I'm done trying to be something I'm not. I'm not meant to be happy, I'm not meant to be content with how I look, I'm not meant to be in a relationship. I am meant to be sad and alone and hate how ugly I am.

I just need to accept it and then at least I can stop trying. Trying just makes me more depressed because I'm just going to fail anyway.

So anyway...this is the last time I'll post in here. I just wanted to say it. :/
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Dammit leeness. Too much pain today.
I know anything I say is meaningless...But just don't leave...Everyone is meant to be happy, even you. (Hypocrisy is just spewing out of my mouth!) It's never easy crawling out of depression and self image issues, but we just have to keep trying. That is all we can do.
 
Normally I'm more of a lurker, but I just wanted to pop in here and say that I'm always inspired by the kind-hearted and helpful people in this thread.
 
Leeness said:
I know most people in here think my problems are stupid, so I guess this will be the last time I post in here, but I just wanted to verbalize how I'm feeling right now.

I think I'm done trying to be something I'm not. I'm not meant to be happy, I'm not meant to be content with how I look, I'm not meant to be in a relationship. I am meant to be sad and alone and hate how ugly I am.

I just need to accept it and then at least I can stop trying. Trying just makes me more depressed because I'm just going to fail anyway.

So anyway...this is the last time I'll post in here. I just wanted to say it. :/
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No one thinks your problems are stupid. Everyone has reasons for their depression, and none of those reasons are dumb.

Eric Walton said:
wow, I hope my medicine gets here soon.. I'm pretty worried that I'm due for another collapse, but this time there's nobody to pick me up (emotionally). I'm very scared.
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We in this thread can try and support you as much as we are able. Pm me if you need to talk.
 
Oomikami said:
I guess...Maybe I didn't do enough?...

All I had in common with her was art and cooking and all i could do was smile and nod because I could do nothing else but I did try to interact with her much as I could...
I really feel I didn't do enough now that I think about it...
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I think the fact that you tried will touch her more than you will ever know.
 
Eric Walton said:
wow, I hope my medicine gets here soon.. I'm pretty worried that I'm due for another collapse, but this time there's nobody to pick me up (emotionally). I'm very scared.

edit: this is also the first christmas I'll spend entirely alone.. I don't really enjoy the holidays or receiving gifts, but I just get the feeling it'll be a rough day.
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Yeah... Christmas is the worst time of year for me... I hate it.
 
Wish I could give a big hug to everyone in this thread. Depression is just a really shitty situation. I used to be really depressed when I was younger, so I guess my best advice is to constantly try to self-improve and aim for goals no matter how small they are. If you see your life as a closed box with no opportunities, you will be depressed. Hope everyone here can defeat their depression and live a happy life. Remember: You deserve it.
 
Wilsongt said:
Oh boy. Another day. Another day to feel bad about myself and another day to be ignored by my crush. Woo.

._.
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I've been there before man, more recently than I'd like to admit. It seems like every girl that I am interested in wants nothing to do with me, but the ones I am not into at all want something more than friendship. I'm 22 with no ambition or companionship which makes getting up in the morning hard sometimes. The thing though is that out of nowhere I just stopped caring.

It's weird, I just stopped giving a shit about girls and have been focused on getting back to doing the things that make me happy. I'm playing video games again, hanging out with friends, catching up on TV shows, posting on GAF, etc. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't sweat the girl problems, just do you and focus on making life as enjoyable as possible for yourself. The rest will fall into line.
 
MCXC Pioneer said:
I've been there before man, more recently than I'd like to admit. It seems like every girl that I am interested in wants nothing to do with me, but the ones I am not into at all want something more than friendship. I'm 22 with no ambition or companionship which makes getting up in the morning hard sometimes. The thing though is that out of nowhere I just stopped caring.

It's weird, I just stopped giving a shit about girls and have been focused on getting back to doing the things that make me happy. I'm playing video games again, hanging out with friends, catching up on TV shows, posting on GAF, etc. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't sweat the girl problems, just do you and focus on making life as enjoyable as possible for yourself. The rest will fall into line.
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Well... Girl problems aren't the issue. No problems there.

It's the men problems, being gay and all... I'm 27, and according to most sources, the "gay death" occurs at 30.

Lol. All silliness aside... Thanks for the advice...
 
Wilsongt said:
Well... Girl problems aren't the issue. No problems there.

It's the men problems, being gay and all... I'm 27, and according to most sources, the "gay death" occurs at 30.

Lol. All silliness aside... Thanks for the advice...
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Girls, guys, it doesn't matter. The same principle applies, I would just focus on doing the things I enjoy most.

If you don't mind me asking, what is your social life like? Do you go out and try to meet new people?
 
MCXC Pioneer said:
Girls, guys, it doesn't matter. The same principle applies, I would just focus on doing the things I enjoy most.

If you don't mind me asking, what is your social life like? Do you go out and try to meet new people?
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No, not really. I have a small group of friends I may hang out with every once in a while.

Along with the depression, I, like most other people in this thread, have social anxiety so that keeps me from going out to social events and all.
 
Wilsongt said:
Fast-Acting Depression Drug Eases Symptoms in Hours

:o :O :O!
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Very cool! It's basically ketamine, but it doesn't get you high. As of now, with an IV dose, it sounds like the effects really trail off after two hours, so that's going to need some more work. Still, it looks like they're really moving fast on NMDA antagonists. And even if these drugs could only be administered in the ER on the acutely suicidal, or used on inpatients to stabilize them while you bring longer-lasting treatments on board, they could do a lot of good.
 
Bagels said:
Very cool! It's basically ketamine, but it doesn't get you high. As of now, with an IV dose, it sounds like the effects really trail off after two hours, so that's going to need some more work. Still, it looks like they're really moving fast on NMDA antagonists. And even if these drugs could only be administered in the ER on the acutely suicidal, or used on inpatients to stabilize them while you bring longer-lasting treatments on board, they could do a lot of good.
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I'd love something that would help me feel better in a couple of hours that wasn't alcohol or a hammer to the chest...
 
I shall lend my excellent listening services out to anyone. I give the greatest oral in the world.

I don't know what that has to do with listening, but I felt like saying it anyways. Lalalala

Honestly, if you need something. Send a PM.
 
What medication has an effect on neurotransmitters that's similar to alcohol? A little bit of alcohol improves my memory and motivation and takes away a lot of the anxiety that not only hinders my social life but creative processes as well.
 
Prez said:
What medication has an effect on neurotransmitters that's similar to alcohol? A little bit of alcohol improves my memory and motivation and takes away a lot of the anxiety that not only hinders my social life but creative processes as well.
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For me that is coffee, or caffeine. I drink a cup of coffee and I feel better and more motivated. Alcohol makes me more sad and weepy... As can be seen by the last two night where I drank two bottles of wine and took a fucking hammer to my chest to make the pain stop.
 
Wilsongt said:
For me that is coffee, or caffeine. I drink a cup of coffee and I feel better and more motivated. Alcohol makes me more sad and weepy... As can be seen by the last two night where I drank two bottles of wine and took a fucking hammer to my chest to make the pain stop.
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Caffeine doesn't do much for me. I can drink liters of energy drink and it gives me a little more energy but that's it. Alcohol makes me more motivated and I have gotten lots of great ideas on alcohol.
 
Wilsongt said:
For me that is coffee, or caffeine. I drink a cup of coffee and I feel better and more motivated. Alcohol makes me more sad and weepy... As can be seen by the last two night where I drank two bottles of wine and took a fucking hammer to my chest to make the pain stop.
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Agreed to the highest power.

Alcohol I find my body responds to better when in a social context. It starts out making me a little down and sleepy but eventually that turns into energetic fun mode. But definitely prefer caffeine on all accounts. It really does help emotionally and I notice I've rarely gotten sick since consuming coffee or energy drinks every other day. You just have to time the crash with when your work is finished so you can take a nap or whatever.

Pakkidis said:
My mood has been fluctuating lately. Hard to stay positive sometimes. Rumination really fucking sucks.
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My mind is a douche sometime. I daydream of really terrible situations and go super in-depth with them. Takes schoolwork or getting lost in something else to get out of it. It might be good to have a store of files on your computer with new movies/new music in case your mind starts wandering in unpleasant directions. I find when I'm already depressed I don't even have the motivation to click a few buttons and start downloading new stuff, so better to do it prematurely.
 
Oomikami said:
I'm starting to realize I don't see the purpose in getting better.
Nothing seems to matter anymore, much less my hobbies.
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There is a purpose, friend. It's you.

We don't like to think this, but I think that people like us are just so humble, we'd just rather go away, for not to bother others with our suffering, but believe me, your life is connected to other people's lives, and they do care about you.

What I meant to say with you as a purpose is that you are a person, you have a life, and that makes you important. Let me quote a text that I find really beautiful for you to understand what I feel towards every single soul in this thread:

"No one is an island, complete by itself, each man is a piece of a continent, part of the land, if the sea takes a portion of the land, all of Europe is reduced, as if it were a promontory, or the house of one of your friends or your own.

The death of any man reduces me because I'm linked to humanity, and so, never ask for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee"
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Random note: I just traduced this from Spanish and realized this was in English after a quick Google search. Oh well, my point remains!
 
I live in the SF Bay area, and a lot of people I've talked to have mentioned the fleetingness of friendships out here. I sort of feel like I'm going through that transition, I rarely talk to the people I was hanging out with last year, and really don't have friends I go and do things with anymore. What do you do about that? I started over here with local friendships when I first moved here, but how do you just up and do it again?
 
Would anybody want to discuss things to do when you're depressed to try and combat the symptoms? Triggers as well? Maybe it will help. Even if nobody wants to, here's a small template anyways (I know we've already had similar things in the thread)

Depression trigger:
What doesn't help:
What helps:
Time of day the depression is at it's worst:

Here's mine; What sets off the sad mood:

- Not being productive. Wasting days of free time.
- Having so much free time in the first place.
- Thinking about girls.
- Comparing myself to others more successful than I.

Things that don't work for me:

- Negative visualization. Knowing that some kid in South America doesn't have food tonight doesn't make me feel better when I'm genuinely in the dumps.
- Drinking at a bar or by myself. Just makes me feel more sorry for myself.
- Sleep. Sometimes I just lay down with no real goal for the day and unable to rest for the night.
- Telling myself to stay positive.
- This goes back a couple years ago but meds and therapy didn't do much for me. Only tried a few meds though.

Things that work:

- Exercise. I feel bad before the workout, during the workout, and after the workout, but the weekend after when my muscles have gotten a little bigger or I have a little less bodyfat it feels really good.
- Doing well in school. Momentum is everything, one aced test will lead to another and knowing that I've been at least somewhat productive helps. Easier if you're studying something that you're good at and/or that you like.
- Telling myself to stay strong and resilient.

External things that get me out of a sad mood:

- Having an actual successful interaction with a girl.
- Making somebody laugh.
- Gettin' money
- Good food
- Caffeine, especially if I haven't had any in days. Makes me just wanna work.
- Getting lost in a piece of good fiction. Movies and games work best for me since books and music make me think too much.

Time of day I'm usually depressed: Late afternoon/Night/Weekends. The last few months have been pretty ok for me though. I usually get depressed more because of the holidays but it just doesn't affect me like it used to.
 
KingFire said:
A person I love just died, and I feel nothing. Feeling nothing makes me feel sad because I think I am supposed to feel sad that a friend died, yet I felt nothing.

What's wrong with me, Gaf?
Click to expand...

I had the same response when my grandfather died. What "helped" for me was going to his funeral, where about half way through I snapped and started blubbing my eyes out. Looking back at it, I think the funeral process is designed to (some extent) break that emotional barrier which makes me suspect it's not an uncommon reaction you and I felt.
 
Well, I think I officially got rejected by a "crush".

Am I wrong in thinking that, if you contact someone that hasn't contacted you in a couple of days and you are a bit peeved by it, that they should warn you before hand that lots of bad things have been going on instead of springing on you, thus making you feel like a total ass for being upset?
 
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